Image via WENN

Ms. Patti LaBelle wants you to know that at 70-years-young, her life has gotten just about as sweet as one of her famous pies.

In a recent interview with People, Patti spoke about her resurgence as the creator of her desserts.

“Whenever I’d make pies at home, people would just go crazy and would ask for more. So I said, ‘I know this is right, and I think we better do something with this idea. I expected them to do well because the taste is phenomenal, but I didn’t know that it would become what it is.”

The success, Patti says, gave her a rejuvenated spirit.

“I feel better than I did when I was 30 or 40. I’m singing better than I did back in the day. It’s just been wonderful.”

But it’s not just the success that has her feeling like she has a new attitude, it’s also her family, including her 42-year-old son Zuri and her 2-year-old granddaughter Gia, that have made her feel more vibrant.

“She likes to dance and she plays like she’s on stage with the little pretend mic. She’ll hold the mic and sing, ‘Patti, Patti!’ I think she’s making me lighter and happier and feeling like a young girl again.”

And if you’re wondering if Ms. LaBelle is showing any signs of stopping, think again.

“It’s amazing the things that are happening to me after age 70. I’m a hardworking woman and I love it. People keep saying to me, ‘It seems like you’re just getting started, Miss LaBelle.’”

The post Patti Says She’s Living Her Best Life After 70 appeared first on MadameNoire.

Mere hours after my husband proposed, we started discussing who would be in our wedding and how many guests we would have. Normally, I would advise anyone to take in the moment and enjoy being engaged before planning anything, but we were too excited that night and proceeded with choosing our crew.

At our intimate celebratory dinner that night, we discussed certain things in detail and decided to have six bridesmaids and six groomsmen (I originally wanted five but added one more to accommodate my fiancé).

Weeks later, I sent each potential bridesmaid a cute note asking them to stand by me on our special day. Each person said yes and wedding planning continued. Although there was no question that I would include my five closest friends, I have to admit that the sixth person was added because she is a longtime friend of my fiancé and a sorority sister of mine.

This group of women was extremely helpful throughout my process, except for the sixth one. I won’t get into who did what and when, but I’ll just say that many brides truly learn a lot about their friends during the wedding planning process. Unfortunately, I learned quite a few unpleasant characteristics about my soror, which led to a rift in our friendship that is still there to this day.

But that’s not to say that I’ve always showed up and showed out as a bridesmaid, either. I was 19 years old when I was a bridesmaid for the first time and I remember not doing a thing aside from buying my dress and showing up. After the wedding, when my mom found out about my role, or lack thereof, she reinforced in me the idea that a bridesmaid is meant to actually help the bride, which I should do in the future. As she said, “It’s called bridesmaid for a reason.”

A wedding is an event and things need to get done; therefore, your friends and family should be willing and able to help in any way they can. With that in mind, should a bride choose her bridesmaids solely on the closeness of the relationship with each of them or for strategic reasons? Do you pick the friend you’ve known forever who can be a drama queen or the new friend who is always on time and on top of things?

When it comes to best friends, you know they are down for you and would do anything for you. However, you can’t always expect them to do exactly what needs to be done and based on the timeline in which it is needed. Also, you can’t expect them to dish out an exorbitant amount of money, especially if they are not financially capable.

I would suggest thinking about what you will need done during the wedding planning process, making sure that the friends (or family) you want to include as bridesmaids can fulfill those roles or tailor duties based on that particular friend’s talents and capabilities. Set your expectations early on so you won’t be greatly disappointed.

As for picking worker bee friends out of the bunch, well, it has its perks. Including people who might not be in your inner circle, but who you know will work their butts off, is great since you know they are dependable. They’ll get the job done with minimal complaints, which leaves you with less stress. However, they will take the spot of a close friend (or, again, family) who might appreciate the opportunity to stand next to you on your big day a lot more.

What’s a bride-to-be to do? I’ve seen too many friendships dissolve after the wedding is over, and some during the process of planning. So as you are gaining one important person into your life, make sure your friendships remain intact by keeping an open and honest line of communication. If you can’t choose certain people, be clear about your reasons. If you do pick others, ensure that they’re truly up for the challenge. Whatever you do, just make sure that the people standing by your side on your wedding day are individuals you will be thankful for, not women whose presence you will soon regret.

The post Childhood Friend Vs. Ride-Or-Die BFF From College: How Should You Go About Choosing Bridesmaids? appeared first on MadameNoire.

On this week’s episode of Did Y’all See, the ladies discuss Eva Marcille possibly joining the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Jay Z new album, and a black valedictorian who had to share her title with a white student with a lesser GPA. What do you think about this week’s topics? Let us know in the comments section below.

The post Is Jay Z’s 4:44 Album Too Sophisticated? | Did Y’all See? appeared first on MadameNoire.

Cheese and crackers

Carrots and ranch

Alphabet soup

Homemade fruit roll ups

Lunchables

Uncrustables

Pizza bagels

Pudding cups

Chocolate chip cookies

Rice Krispies Treats

Hot dogs

Top Ramen

Hostess cupcakes

Dunkaroos

Toaster Strudel

The post Eating Nostalgic: Skinny Versions Of Your Favorite Childhood Snacks appeared first on MadameNoire.

Image via Getty

Now that Ava DuVernay’s hit this sweet spot in her career, she’s been luxuriating in it. And we’re not mad at her. Particularly when her art is so often infused with messages of activism. After her last project, 13th, a documentary on mass incarceration in this country, expose some truths and begin some much needed conversations, she’s back with another project that will likely do the same.

According to Variety, the director is working on a limited series about the Central Park 5.

It’s a five part scripted series that will debut in 2019. DuVernay is said to be writing and directing all five parts.

DuVernay will partner with Participant Media, Tribeca Productions and Harpo Films for the series. Oprah Winfrey, Jeff Skoll, Jonathan King, Jane Rosenthal and Berry Welsh are set to serve as executive producers with DuVernay.

As you know, DuVernay and Winfrey are not only friends this will be the fourth time they’ve worked together after doing so for Selma, OWN’s “Queen Sugar” and the upcoming A Wrinkle In Time.

This will also mark the second time DuVernay has worked with Netflix. Her 2016 documentary 13th appeared on the streaming service.

“I had an extraordinary experience working with Netflix on ’13th’ and am overjoyed to continue this exploration of the criminal justice system as a narrative project with Cindy Holland and the team there,” said DuVernay. “The story of the men known as Central Park Five has riveted me for more than two decades. In their journey, we witness five innocent young men of color who were met with injustice at every turn — from coerced confessions to unjust incarceration to public calls for their execution by the man who would go on to be the President of the United States.”

The story of the Central Park Five sounds like something out of a Law and Order episode but it is true. (Most of those Law and Order story lines are based on true events anyway.) It involved five teenage boys from Harlem Antron McCray, Kevin Richardson, Yusef Salaam, Raymond Santana and Korey Wise. The five were wrongly convicted of raping Trisha Meili in Central Park in 1989. It wasn’t until 2002, after another man confessed to raping Meili and DNA evidence confirmed his claims, that the five were released from prison.

The series will focus on each of the five boys and will span from the spring of 1989, when they were first questioned about the incident to 2014 when they were exonerated and received a settlement from New York City.

The post Ava DuVernay To Produce Limited Series On The Central Park Five appeared first on MadameNoire.

Credit: Nicky Nelson/WENN.com

A lot of people had a good laugh — and still are — over the debacle that exploded between Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna on social media Wednesday. And while it has often been hard to take this pair’s relationship, and the drama that comes with it, seriously, Rob’s posting of naked photos of his ex is very serious.

Revenge porn is the official name for the crime for which Rob could potentially be facing jail time. As we pointed out in our story yesterday:

“Attorneys told the New York Daily News they believe Kardashian violated California’s law enacted in 2013.

“The law describes revenge porn as sharing the image of an ‘intimate body part of another identifiable person, or an image of that person engaged in sexual intercourse, sodomy, oral copulation or masturbation.’

“The person, as Rob did, must intentionally distribute the image though the understanding was that it would be kept private and the person must have done so with the intent to cause emotional distress.”

And though Blac Chyna appears to be unbothered by Rob’s behavior, most victims aren’t so lucky. The National Domestic Violence Hotline notes on their website: “Like all forms of abuse, revenge porn is extremely traumatizing. Unfortunately, legislation has been slow to respond; not all states have enacted laws against revenge porn or recognize it as a crime, leaving victims with little to no legal recourse in some cases. End Revenge Porn, a campaign of the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative, provides a guide to current state laws as well as a list of additional resources for survivors.”

The Hotline also lists additional tips for preventing revenge porn, victims of this crime, and bystanders who witness this viral form of sexual assault.

Victims

“Different states have specific laws, but no matter where you are, taking some type of legal action is always an option,” the site states on their blog. “Document the content, because it can be used as evidence. Contact the bar association in your state to find an attorney who specializes in Internet privacy and rights. The organization Without My Consent discusses different courses of action.”

• First and foremost know that you have the right to say no if asked to send sexually explicit images, video, or texts.
• If you do engage, try to avoid showing any identifying features (face, tattoos, birthmarks, etc) in the pictures you send.
• If your images are shared without your consent, Google has created a form where revenge porn victims can request that their images be removed from search results. You can access the form here.
• You can also conduct takedowns yourself using the DIY Program on DMCA.com or their Professional Takedown Service.
• Contact the authorities, especially if “the perpetrator of this crime is known to you and you never gave permission for the pictures to be shared,” the Digital Millennium Copyright Act notes.

Bystanders:

“Begin to hold yourself and those around you accountable for what’s being said and posted,” the Hotline states. “If you see something, report it.”

• On Facebook, use the report link that appears near the content to send a message to have it removed.
• On Twitter, access their various forms for reporting a violation.
• On YouTube, there is a “Safety Center” for requesting videos to be flagged or removed.
• You can also offer to help document the abuse by capturing screenshots whenever and wherever images are shared which could be used as evidence if charges are pressed.

If your partner is pressuring you to send explicit pictures or video, or if they are threatening to distribute materials you have shared, you can call The Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 any time or chat via their website from 7 a.m. to 2 a.m. Central.

The post What To Do If You Or Someone You Know Is A Victim Of Revenge Porn appeared first on MadameNoire.

I was scrolling through my Instagram “Explore” feed when I first ran across Tawanya (pronounced Tawana) Norwood. She was hanging upside down like a graceful bat, one foot suctioned to the wall while the other foot was pointed. It was almost like she was doing a dangerously cool version of warrior III pose flipped. The image went viral.

My assumption from her poses and toned body was that Norwood was an accomplished yoga instructor who would have a story about a vegan diet, practicing for hours each day and upon introduction, could share with you the principals of the yoga practice. But what I learned after having a conversation with the 28-year-old was that was far from her story. The Liberty City-bred acrobat currently based out of Gainesville, Florida has been using some of the most advanced yoga poses and a love of photography to help her grab the attention of people like you and me. She is doing this in the hopes that she can not only achieve her dreams of being a motivational speaker, but so that she can also help her family and improve her circumstances. There was a lot more to her than the striking images, which she takes herself, let on. Learn more about the Marines-bound athlete and the way she’s using fitness to change her life — not just physically.

MadameNoire: What is your fitness background? Did you play sports growing up or did you become active mostly as an adult?

Tawanya Norwood: I played sports in high school. I ran track and cross country. Other than that, I didn’t officially do any other sports. You know, when you’re a kid you’re active, so mostly we ran around the neighborhood. But the only competitive sports I participated in were track and cross country. I didn’t run in college. I did run a little bit for a club team after college. It was like an AAU team, but they let me run with them even though I was older.

How did you get into yoga? Your strength is amazing! 

It’s a weird kind of story. I always wanted to be a motivational speaker for athletes. So when I was running track, I was like, “I want to get a deal with Nike.” I figured in order to know athletes, gain their respect and for them to listen to you, you have to have an accomplishment. Being a track athlete at the time, I knew that athletes respected people who have contracts with major companies. So I was just trying to get some power behind my name. I was like, “Oh, I can be sponsored by Nike!” But then I thought, “I’m not fast enough to do that.” Then I was like, “Oh, I can be sponsored by them just to model.” But then I was like, “I don’t know how to do anything more than stand [laughs].” So that’s when I started learning all of the more advanced poses, basically, as a method of trying to get a sponsorship all so that I could become a motivational speaker. I know it’s a roundabout story.

Have you received attention from brands and been able to work with them? 

Some brands. Most of the companies I tag on Instagram usually end up “liking” my picture like Under Armour, Adidas and Reebok. Nike has sent me shoes and replied to my pictures. And there’s a brand based in Sweden called Stronger and that’s the best connection that I’ve had so far. They’ve sent me clothes. I’ve had small brands too, but the way that I work is I would rather just focus on the names that are already established or that have a good product, a good foundation and good business behind them than to just accept things from anybody who started making tights and just start wearing their tights.

How many years of practice did it take for you to execute some of these moves? That upside-down pose that has everyone talking is insane! 

I’ve been doing it for about two and a half years. But in high school, when I was on the track team, we were into stretching. My mindset has always been, let me do what I need to do to prevent having to really struggle when it’s time for practice. So I started doing these types of stretches all the time. I’ve always had flexibility. The poses I’m doing now as far as flexibility, I could have been doing them when I first started. I just didn’t have the understanding of how to actually get into the pose. But as far as handstands, it took me about two years to learn how to do a handstand. That’s a skill of balance, strength and mental focus. The pose everyone likes where I was upside down really wasn’t that difficult, I probably could have done that two years ago because a lot of it is more about strength. I’ve always been strong and flexible, but it took me two years to become confident in knowing how to get into the poses or not being intimidated by looking at the poses.

Would you say that learning these poses has helped you gain a love of yoga? For many, it’s considered a way of life. 

I would say I’ve developed a love for photography and taking pictures. I guess in my own way I kind of love doing yoga. I have learned a lot about concentration because even just doing a handstand, you have to know how to concentrate. I’ve learned a lot about being focused on the moment. A lot of the poses, in order to hold them, you have to focus on what you’re doing at that time and be conscious of your body. So I’ve gained a lot from the practice of yoga. I wouldn’t say I’ve gained a love for it [laughs]. You know, sometimes, athletic stuff is hard and challenging so I don’t always love to do it but I still do it. I love the other things that come with it. So I’ve gained a respect and understanding of yoga, but I more so I see it as a means to trying to accomplish something to reach people. I love the product it creates, so I guess in my own way I have a love for it.

Is it true that you’re really taking all of these photos on your own?

I really am. The reason I started taking pictures myself is because I really didn’t have the money to hire anyone for photography. Even with my whole journey, coming from Liberty City, I was from a low-income neighborhood. I graduated from college but my income still didn’t improve and I was still struggling. So I was just trying to find a way to use my talents and reach other people but also do something I like as far as being fit. So I was like, I only have a certain amount of resources. I didn’t have the money for a camera or a photographer, anything like that. But I like gymnastics. I live right near the University of Florida campus, and one day I went to a gymnastics meet and they were having a free raffle. I entered it and I won an iPad. That was right around the time where I was like, “I could be a fitness model!” So then I just was like, I can use this to take my pictures. And so that’s how it kind of started out. I didn’t really have any other resources, but my mindset has always been to use what you have. So as I went along and would post photos on Facebook and stuff like that, people would say, “You should get a photographer.” I still couldn’t afford one. Sometimes people offered and I did end up working here and there with some people, but I realized my pictures came out just as good as theirs and I could take them at my own time. Also, too, I’m the person who edits them with the coloring and they come out the way I want. I learned early that when someone else takes your pictures — at that time, yoga in my environment wasn’t very practiced. So the people who were taking pictures of me wouldn’t understand when I was actually in the pose. They would be taking pictures of me before I even hit the pose. They would take pictures, but not at the right moment. And so I wasn’t getting the same quality pictures, the same execution. They didn’t understand what the poses were supposed to look like. That made me realize that I like taking my own pictures. It also added to my story of telling people to use what you have and you can make a difference and create something great.

What is your diet and exercise routine like outside of learning and executing these poses? You are in amazing shape. 

I always stress money because, like I said, I didn’t have that much money. So I usually just eat what I can. I like spaghetti [laughs]. I like cereal. But those are my main staples just because spaghetti is filling and cereal is like my way of having sweets but not going out and eating candy or donuts. It all goes into using what I have. That’s why I don’t really share my diet with people because it’s not anything intense. Probably a lot of it comes from not eating a lot of stuff. I eat out here and there but for the most part, I don’t eat a lot of fried foods or super greasy foods.

As far as working out, I do a lot of jogging. But my mentality for working out and life in general is to do things at a pace where I can maintain it years down the line. I don’t want to be a superb athlete now and then I’m so tired out when I hit 50 or something that I’m like, “I can’t do that stuff anymore” and I get fat. So I do 20-minute jogs, a simple crunch and sit-up routine that is very easy and I can do it even if I’m running late in the morning. Everything I do fitness wise outside of the poses is not very challenging. It keeps me active and I’ve always been very good at executing things. And I think because I do it efficiently, it also helps me stay in shape. So I mostly do things so I can maintain and my diet is a diet on a budget, basically.

You mentioned that what’s next for you is joining the Marines. What is the story behind making that decision and what will happen to this practice that you’ve developed that does seem to have a following on social media? 

It goes back to the same thing in this journey: One, finding a way to inspire people and two, trying to improve my life. And so having taken pictures for two years and no one offering me a deal and not making money from it, I was still basically struggling. Then there were members of my family who were also struggling and I just felt bad that at that time I couldn’t help them. I feel like in life there are two types of people: People who can just go after money, work 8-to-5, 9-to-5, make the money to pay the bills and as long as they make money they’re fine, and then there are people who can’t get through that. They want to be passionate about what they do. They can’t just sit somewhere from 8-to-5. I feel like I’m one of those people. So one of the reasons I was struggling was because I was like, “I can’t just go work a full-time job that I’m not committed to or interested in.” So I came to a really rough financial and family place in my life. I thought, okay, if I’m not going to work 8-to-5 somewhere, I need to find somewhere else that will give me financial security but will still allow me to pursue this dream and be a motivational speaker and also take pictures too. I felt like I have too much talent including doing these poses to just let it go. In thinking of what I could do, I saw a couple things, overheard some conversations and the idea of going into the Marine Corps came to me. I chose the Marines because of the people I saw, they were the most physically fit. I was like, that will incorporate everything I’m looking for, being able to inspire people. Because when you’re in the military in general and you stand before people and you speak, you command respect. You influence people. And then I’ve always heard that military families travel. That’s also been a dream of mine because I’ve only been outside of Florida to Atlanta. Other than that, in some ways, I’ve always felt like this girl from Liberty City because I haven’t been able to break this mold. I really want to see the world. So that’s what kind of gave me the idea. I just wanted to find something that would give me financial security, stability, not only for myself but for my family and my future family, and to also be able to travel. Going forward, I plan to get settled into the Marines. The job I chose is actually in photography! So I’m going to take full advantage of the opportunity, continue to take pictures, and to continue to look for opportunities to speak.

Follow Tawanya on Instagram and check out the rest of the Fitness Friday profiles here. 

The post Fitness Fridays: Liberty City’s Tawanya Norwood Is Using Yoga To Change The Life Of Her And Her Family appeared first on MadameNoire.

Here is the message miss #AmberRose got for the haters! ( F@ck yo opinions i do what I want period) pic.twitter.com/HqzqzSjTA6

— rapper fix (@fix_rapper) June 26, 2017

I know the phrase “break the internet” is overused. But when Amber Rose posted that photo of herself all oiled up, showcasing her pubic hair, she created quite the stir. And she had Instagram scrambling to scrub the image from their site.

In a recent interview with Refinery 29, Rose explained the reason she posted the picture in the first place, knowing it would be deleted.

Refinery starts the story saying Amber photoshopped the image, but not for the reasons you might think.

“I had them Photoshop out my tattoos to focus on the bush alone. I feel like as women, we always feel like we need to shave or wax — and if we don’t, then we’re considered unkempt or unclean or we’re gonna smell funny. I believe that it’s natural and we shouldn’t be ashamed of it.”

But in addition to focusing on the bush, the post was also in promotion of her annual Slut Walk. It’s a conference and march to end sexual violence, gender inequality and rape culture.

“People are very uncomfortable with the female body. It’s ok to leak images onto the Internet and people are like, ‘Yeah, that’s so cool.’ But if you actually do it yourself and in a way that’s owning your own sexuality, it’s almost taboo.”

“I wanted to prove a point, and of course arguing with Piers Morgan, who is such a dick… That’s why I kept going back and forth with him,” says Rose. “I posted a picture of Adam Levine with a woman grabbing his dick and balls, and Piers was like, ‘You know that’s different because that was for testicular cancer — so that’s okay.'” Of course, Rose pointed out that she was also posting her photo for an important cause, but it didn’t change his mind. “Men feel like they can do whatever, and show their bodies off constantly, but we can’t — that’s bullshit,” says Rose.

There were those who wondered about her grooming techniques.

I didn’t really do anything crazy to groom it. I just used some soap and some lotion. In that picture, it was just not fully wild and grown out at that time. When I finish getting washed in the shower, I use baby oil gel all over my body [including my bush].”

But Rose wanted to be clear that her feminism doesn’t reside in her pubic hair.

I go back and forth — it really depends on my mood and how I feel,” she says. “I was a dancer, so I [used to] shave every day. If you shave every single day, you won’t get razor bumps or anything like that. But that was my job. I pretty much had to because it was how I was making money.”

Also, worth noting, to those who were upset by the post, know that that was Amber’s intention.

“I go far and beyond to piss people off on purpose,” Rose says. “That’s what I do to bring awareness to Slutwalk and what’s going on. The fact that there are double standards, that women are not allowed to own their sexuality and their bodies. We can’t possibly be sexually confident, because then we’re whores. We’re not allowed to have a past. We’re incapable of love if we’re too beautiful or if we’re too successful. It’s all really, really f*cked up.”

And it’s more important to call it out today than ever. “I feel like there are so many new feminists this year because of Trump,” Rose says. “There are a lot of people who suffer from [sexual violence] who didn’t even know what it was. That’s why I just keep pushing because I see it every day. I love women and I just want to help and keep fighting the fight for feminism.”

The post Amber Rose Explains Why She Posted That Picture Of Her Bush On Instagram appeared first on MadameNoire.

"Who did your color?"

"When's the last time you got a trim?"

"You sure you just want me to trim it?"

"You put this in?"

"That's What You Want?"

"What you been doing to your hair?"

"You need to come here more often."

"You have a lot of hair!"

Why is?...

The post 9 Comments Hairstylists Make When They’re Low-Key Trying To Play You appeared first on MadameNoire.

Even if you know that your intentions are pure and you’re not romantically interested in a person of the opposite sex, is it wrong to take their number when you’re in a relationship?

I have a friend whose boyfriend took the number of a young woman he met while at the library. They bumped into each other at a cafe and after noticing that he had an accent, they conversed about the fact that they were both from countries in Africa (he is Nigerian, she was from Cameroon). She told him how she was new to New York and was struggling to meet people while trying to balance work, so he told the woman about my friend and offered to introduce them. To make that happen, they exchanged numbers.

When he went home and told his girlfriend about the woman, my friend was anything but excited about the chance to meet her. Instead, she grilled him about why he took her number in the first place. He explained that they just had a simple conversation while grabbing coffee in the library’s cafe and that she told him about her hopes of making friends. She seemed nice so he wanted to help. My friend took it as the woman wanting to be his “friend” and believed the girl gave out her number in the hopes that they would get to know each other better. What he deemed innocent, she found inappropriate.

Is it though?

I have to admit that I’ve found myself feeling kind of weird when men I meet outside of work say, “Take my number” or try to interact with me via message or any other private way as a married woman.  I don’t have any plans to do anything with these numbers or to jeopardize my relationship, so it shouldn’t be a big deal. Still, I often wonder what my husband would think if he saw the man in question calling my phone or sending me a message. I then think about how I would feel if I was the one seeing random women’s names popping up on his phone and texting my partner. I immediately feel bad.

For example, one time I attended an event with a friend where amateur and professional photographers all met in the park for a barbecue and “photo walk.” (I referenced this same event in a previous “Is This Petty?” about dating a man who has a child your age.) Anywho, she introduced me to a fellow photog who was also Nigerian, and after flirtatiously joking with me for a few minutes, I found a way to bring up my husband to let him know I was off-limits. He didn’t carry on much further with his advances from there, only responding with, “He’s a lucky man!”

As the photo walk continued, I needed to sit down for a minute. I found a break in between two huge tree trunks and sat in it. The aforementioned guy noticed me sitting in it and asked me to pose. Before I knew it, my girlfriend and a few other amateur photographers came over and started snapping away. It was fun. Things became awkward though when the guy asked me for my information so he could send me the photos. I wanted the images, but knowing that he’d shown interest in me upon our introduction, I didn’t know if it was a good idea. I hesitantly gave him my WhatsApp as opposed to my actual number and hoped that he would keep it friendly (but not too friendly). I immediately felt bad and worried about what my partner would think. I assumed the messages that would come soon enough from this guy would be playful and at a certain point, problematic. I was very much in my head.

A few hours later the notifications came in. It was ol’ boy. What I thought were going to be come-ons and a bad idea waiting to happen were just the pictures he promised, along with the message, “Nice meeting you today.” That was it. He follows me on IG now, but he hasn’t reached out to say anything flirtatious or inappropriate. He was respecting what I’d told him.

I realized that I’d let myself get worked up about something that ended up being innocent when I never had anything to hide or shady intentions in the first place.

I had to come to the conclusion, which I’ll offer to you, dear reader, that the best way to deal with being offered a number it might be best not to take is to be clear about what you’re doing and your situation and make sure the person trying to give the number is clear as well. When the topic of exchanging info is brought up by a flirtatious person of the opposite sex, make it known that you’re in a relationship. Once that’s out there, there’s no need to take their number once you know their initial intention was to get to know you on a romantic level. If they want to reach out to you for something that has nothing to do with romance, an email address should suffice. As for people who want to exchange information for business purposes, there is no harm in that. If they take things to an unbusinesslike level, you know what to do. Cut it!

But in the end, sometimes information exchanges really are innocent. It’s best to wait and see what people are up to as opposed to always assuming everyone is out to get in them drawls.

As for worrying about what your partner thinks, do they really need a play-by-play on and plan of action when it comes to the person who gave you their number? Not everything is necessary for them to know, especially when you know you’re not doing anything wrong and you’re not inviting anyone into your life (or phone) who will encourage you to…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. What say you? Is it petty to think you’re doing something wrong by accepting other people’s phone numbers? 

The post Is This Petty? I Have A Man But I Innocently Took Another Man’s Number appeared first on MadameNoire.

Just a few months ago, we wrote about the efforts to rebrand and rename Harlem, the part from 110 to 125th. The neighborhood was first dubbed South Harlem, by who I don’t know. As a Harlem resident, I’ve never heard it called South Harlem. But that’s another story for another day. Once South Harlem became a thing, a real estate agency called Keller Williams, decided to rename the neighborhood to SoHa.

I’m sure someone will take this the wrong way but this “sounds about White.” Perhaps you’ve noticed that White folks have an affinity for shortening things, names, proper nouns etc. They’re fond of abbreviations. I’ve literally heard White folks say “abbrevs.”

Anyway, the good people of Harlem were not with the name change…at all. And thankfully they let their voices be heard. There was a backlash from community leaders and residents. And as you might expect, plenty of conversation on social media.

Gentrification of Harlem is BEYOND disrespectful. Changing the name to SoHa is to erase the history & culture of an influential place.

— Reina de Comida (@katie_luv16) July 4, 2017

always harlem never soha ☀️ pic.twitter.com/YGKIY2w8qs

— jayla (@amandajayla) June 22, 2017

Afterward, the real estate agency got the message. According to the Wall Street Journal, the company decided to drop the rebranding efforts.

“The team has a passion for the people, the history and the culture of the neighborhood they also call home,” a Keller Williams spokesperson told Wall Street Journal. “With respect to the neighborhood and people of Harlem, they will change their team name at Keller Williams NYC.”
Public officials are also getting involved. New York State Senator Brian Benjamin announced on Friday that he was introducing legislation that would make it more challenging to change a New York neighborhood’s name.

Good!

The post Harlem Residents And Activists Put An End To The “SoHa” Rebranding appeared first on MadameNoire.

Essence Fest is an annual highlight for me, but after doing the event solo for years, this time my girls and I decided to make it a group thing. Inspired by the upcoming Girls Trip movie and equipped with our very own Ford Explorer, courtesy of one of Essence Fest’s biggest sponsors, we hit the road last Thursday, making the six-and-a-half hour drive from Atlanta to New Orleans. Hats off to my girl Kimberly who drove us safely the whole way.

As a backseat passenger, I didn’t have much say over the journey — much to my dismay. Being the trap queen that I am, I put in my request for rap music in every state we crossed, from Georgia to Alabama, Mississipi, and Louisiana, and was promptly denied every time. I didn’t tell my friends, but the throwback ’90s music they were playing did sound great coming from the speakers. And the fact that I was able to keep all my devices charged in the backseat, which was equipped with two USB plugs and a regular plug for laptops, flat irons, and whatever else a passenger might need to look and feel their best after a long trip, kept me more than occupied.

After a late night out on Bourbon street, we got up Friday morning to attend the Lincoln Motor Company’s First Listen Brunch which included a live performance by Alabama-bred singer and songwriter Sebastian Kole who sung his new single “Priceless” and told us about his journey in the music biz.

Raj Register, Ford’s Multicultural Communications Manager, also gave us an overview of the activations the brand had during the weekend, which we got to see first-hand the next afternoon at Ford’s block party-themed booth.

The post We Turned Essence Fest Into The Ultimate Girls Trip appeared first on MadameNoire.

Yes, you read that correctly. Kirk Frost as in Rasheeda’s Kirk and the same cat with the earrings on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. 

Before he met and married (and started dogging out) Rasheeda Buckner, Kirk was trying to woo Da Brat. She spilled some tea on Dish Nation about how he left his number on a small stack of $100 bills in the hopes that she would call him back. In case you were wondering why she is bringing this up now, the MC was asked what was the craziest thing someone had asked her to do on a first date.

“Kirk Frost! Rasheeda’s husband. Before they were married, when I first met him, he wrote his name and number on 20 $100 bills and begged me to call him,” she said. “Not begged me, but he asked me to call him. He wrote his name and number on the front and back of each one. I got a Lincoln Navigator, I got quite a few things from the situation. Not on the first date but throughout the course of a little while.”

When asked if she was impressed by his boldness, Da Brat admitted that she was. And while co-host Porsha Williams said she would have called him the night he gave her the $2,000 gift, when asked when she called, the rapper said she didn’t want to look too eager, so she waited — just a little bit of time.

“The next day,” she said. “I didn’t want to seem desperate but I did call the next day.”

Da Brat, a.k.a, Shawntae Harris, has always been very beautiful, so it’s no surprise that Frost went out of his way to get her attention. She sure dodged a bullet though…

Check out Da Brat’s comments for yourself:

The post About That Time Da Brat Dated Kirk Frost appeared first on MadameNoire.

Claws is rapidly captivating TV audiences Sunday nights, and during Essence Fest the cast of the hit TNT show made an appearance to discuss the drama and its portrayal of Black entrepreneurship. Check out the video above as Niecy Nash talks about the importance of showcasing a Black-owned nail salon and why we need to see examples of Black businesses regularly on screen.

The post Niecy Nash Talks The Importance Of Portraying Black Ownership In Claws appeared first on MadameNoire.

The post Would You Ever Install Braids Over Your Locs? See 10 Women Who Did appeared first on MadameNoire.

I don’t consider myself the most financially literate person but I know what it takes to maintain a decent credit score, created a pretty successful household budget and manage to deposit a few extra coins into my savings pretty regularly. What I do know is that I damn sure am more financially literate now then I was almost ten years ago when I signed my life away in the form of student loans. Luckily my parents were still working full-time when I decided to enroll in undergrad, despite me taking almost four gap years. They were both employed with major hospitals in Philly, so they were able to take advantage of tuition reimbursement programs that left me owing way less than I would have with no assistance. For my last year, I even qualified for a grant that covered a good chunk of my schooling. But even with all that assistance I still have about $23,000 in student loan debt today that hasn’t really hasn’t budged much from the original amount owed of $25,000.

For the first year, I completely deferred my loans and they sat and built up interest as I struggled to find full-time entry level work at the height of the recession. When I did land my first professional job, it was part-time and I pieced together other part-time gigs so I could begin chipping away at my iceberg of interest. All of my loans are federal loans, so at one point loan forgiveness looked like a bright light at the end of very long dark tunnel, but after reviewing the qualifications I found myself feeling like I was at Chuck E. Cheese staring at the remote control car on the prize wall that cost 250,000 tickets. My arm would damn near fall off from all of the skee ball I’d have to play to afford that. And that’s what student loan forgiveness qualifications feel like: A goal that takes a significant amount of time to achieve that leaves you thinking, “For all that I could’ve just bought the damn remote control car.” I had no desire to teach and working full-time at a non-profit for ten years in this economy is akin to working as a telemarketer and never having someone hang up on you.

Because of this I’ve gotten into a lazy, but comfortable reality that student loan debt will always be a part of my life much like having a second child. I’ve had friends that have gone above and beyond to give their lenders three times the minimum payment so that they can get Sallie Mae off their backs, but with that has come sacrifice that I’m not ashamed I haven’t been able to commit to. Like most people I like instant gratification and mine usually comes in the form of cruise vacations. But also I have a car note, utility bills, and expenses that affect my day that make it possible for me to go to work and earn money. And as much as I would love to put a little extra to my student loan debt, the way my account and household income is set up, it can sometimes be very difficult to do so.

For many, student loan debt is an annoying factor that may delay some milestones for today’s millennials but doesn’t necessarily make it impossible for them to live. According to Forbes, the average college graduate is walking away with an undergrad degree and about $37,000 of debt to match. And as of 2017, the country’s total student loan debt came in at a whopping $1.31 trillion from about 44.2 billion borrowers. Of course this debt can cripple some folks financially making it harder to get a loan for a home, and kicking your credit score in the shins before it even gets a running start. But what about when your student loan debt takes a hit to your personal life as well?

An article recently pulled a few personal stories from the podcast Death, Sex and Money (hosted by Anna Sale) in which folks shared how their $100,000+ student loan debt has pushed them to make difficult decisions regarding their personal lives. Several episodes based on the topic are available for viewing in which people share how much student loan debt has impacted their lives. One couple from Louisiana shared how their combined student loan debt of over $150,000, led them to heartbreaking decision:

“Nola writes that her student loan amount represents the baby that she and her husband decided not to have — because of their student loans.”

Some chose to up and relocate their whole lives in search of student loan forgiveness:

“Sara and her husband moved to a Navajo Nation reservation in Arizona for a loan forgiveness program for medical professionals working in ‘hardship sites.’ They never would have moved to Arizona if it weren’t for the loan forgiveness program, but the decision has completely enriched their lives.”

Much like my own story, student loan debt may even have you look at marriage a little differently.  I probably would’ve married my husband even if Sallie Mae was blowing up his phone like a bitter ex-girlfriend, but admittedly it helped when I learned that he was making pretty decent money without a degree and that I would be the only one bringing student loan debt to our financial future. Kylee from Dallas, Texas worries how her $150,000 debt will impact her and her partner’s future and is reminded of financial struggles from her childhood:

“Kylee got a full-ride scholarship to college, but her husband has debt from his undergraduate and doctoral degrees. Then, she went for her MBA, adding to the couple’s debt. She once vowed never to go into debt because of her parents’ experiences, but now she’s facing loans. She’s scared about what happens if there’s a crisis.”

And while you may think that student loan debt issues only affect liberal arts and social work majors, putting yourself into more debt for that master’s or doctorate degree isn’t necessarily a sure thing either. One woman found herself struggling despite all her years of education after becoming ill. Another person found that in the time it took to earn his degrees, the job market had changed drastically:

“I received my undergraduate, my master’s, and doctorate from a prestigious university. After my residency I worked for six years in my field. I fell ill with chronic pancreatitis. If I file to discharge it may affect my ability for licensure and work in the future. Can’t buy a house; renting as my debt is a house at $200,000. Dream is dead.”

“I incurred a lot of student loan debt earning a Ph.D. and a master’s degree. The job market in my field was so bad that it took years for me to get a job as a professor. I couldn’t pay my loans because I had to work as an adjunct for years, and the pay was dismal. Now, I owe more than double my original debt just in interest and penalties.”

At 30-something, many of my friends and I find ourselves hitting somewhat of a salary ceiling after putting in a few years in our chosen professions. As we entertain the idea of pursuing master’s degrees to get an extra edge in a world where many employers would have you believe a bachelor’s degree is nothing special, many of us are asking ourselves is the extra debt even worth the salary bump? I can’t tell you how may applicants whose resumes I’ve reviewed boasting multiple degrees as they find themselves still competing for entry level work. As a friend of mine recently shared, student loan debt can affect your everyday transactions as well as your long term plans:

“The student loan debt that I’ve incurred from earning my bachelor’s degree has profoundly affected my credit score. I hate that this number has a hold on a lot of aspects of my life. I always get declined lines of credit and dread when sales associates at the different clothing stores I frequent ask me if I’d like to apply for their credit card since I know the end result. It’s also affected my plans of going to graduate school to pursue my Master’s degree. I work in social services and would love to earn an M.S.W. to further my career but the idea of accruing more debt on top of what I already have completely turns me off from the idea.”

A report in U.S. News shows that return-on-investment depends a lot on your field of study, and there is no set formula for any situation, but generally those with advanced degrees experience lower rates of unemployment. It’s important to keep in mind, however, that most grad students can find themselves carrying on average about $57,600 additional debt and that careers outside of academia, law or medicine may not see an instant salary increase or career bump. So if you’re looking to start the student loan shuffle all over again, financial literacy is key and it may help to crunch some numbers to break down how it will affect your financial future, something some of us may be a little more prepared to do now that we’re working professionals and not bright-eyed optimistic freshmen believing we could save the world and earn a decent living one Stafford loan at a time. Like many of us, my friend doesn’t regret the knowledge she’s gained from her studies, but does regret not being educated about what student loan debt looks like in the long run:

“I just wish I had been a lot smarter about how this piece of paper was going to be paid for.”

In what ways has student loan debt affected your life that you would’ve never imagined?

Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a  passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

The post It’s Like That Sallie Mae? When Student Loan Debt Keeps You From Living Your Best Life appeared first on MadameNoire.

It’s no secret that singer-songwriter Sevyn Streeter is a firecracker, so it makes sense that the evening before 4^th of July while many of us were making last minute hot dog roll runs, Streeter was putting the finishing touches on visuals for her latest album, Girl Disrupted. In an exclusive interview for Vibe Vixen, the artist discusses her battles with depression, dating and the dedication the music industry has required from her.

If you’ve followed Streeter’s career, you’re well aware that she’s not new to this. After singing in church, Streeter entered the music industry officially at 15-years-old, joining the groups TG4 and later Richgirl. She went on to write songs for many industry favorites including Kelly Rowland, Trey Songz, Ariana Grande and Chris Brown, the latter who contributed to her gold-selling hit “It Won’t Stop”.

In 2012 she signed a deal with Atlantic Records and released the single, “I Like It,” but even with the headway she had already made, Streeter is clear that the road to success consists of peaks and pitfalls. Girl Disrupted is her first album in two years and Streeter is honest that the delay had a lot to do with the fact that she was dealing with a case of depression:

“I dealt with depression on a very serious level for like a year-and-a-half, and I never said anything to my fans. Obviously, my mom and my dad and my brother, a few family members, knew about it — but it was really, really hard. I wanted to kill myself, I really did. And through my family, and God and prayer, it turned around.”

The artist shares that the track “Livin’” is a reflection of that time and what she took from it:

“I wrote “Livin’” and it speaks of dark times, but it also comes back around and says I’m going to bet on myself. You have to bet on yourself.”

She also shares that turning 30 was a big trigger for her depression:

“This is not like when you graduate high school and you get your diploma. You go to college for four years, or whatever period of time, and you get your degree. You did it, and you get to move on. I’ve literally been doing the same exact thing everyday with the same amount of intensity and focus, since I was 15 years old. To look up and be 30 years old, and to feel like this hasn’t happened yet, but you can’t quit because you’re just going to be throwing away all the years that you put into it [music].”

“I don’t care what you do in life, you want to be successful, you want to feel like you accomplished certain things.”

As for the album title, Streeter shares that the album shows many different sides to her personality and the things she’s been through particularly in her 20’s:

“Because there were so many things in my life that needed to be disrupted, especially in my 20s.”

“I have sex records because I’m just a freaky a** woman, and it’s just truthful. I have songs on my album about being in a gray area and you’re trying to get away from this person, but then it’s like I miss him so much, and you find yourself in the same sh*t.”

“[This album] shows so many different sides and vibes to me as a person and as a woman.”

She also updated fans on where she and ex-boyfriend rapper B.O.B. stand after somewhat of a messy break-up:

“We haven’t talked for a very long time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wish him the best. Our situation ended amicably, but then he just kind of went through some other stuff after we broke up.”

“He went through some public things that had nothing to do with me because we weren’t together. He probably could’ve used a little better judgment, but at the same time, he’s human. I’m pretty sure that he’s learned a lesson or two, behind that.”

Streeter also shared that she and singer Chris Brown haven’t made beautiful music together for quite awhile:

“We actually haven’t worked together in a very long time. It’s not something that I necessarily want, but I just think that he has a lot going on in his life. I love him and he loves me, that’s my brother — he will always be a brother to me — but it’s just a lot of different dynamics that I think were out of our control.”

“He’s not on my album, I would love it if he were, but for whatever reason, we haven’t worked together in a minute, but I love him. I’m praying for him.”

But don’t get it twisted, Streeter isn’t just caught up in her own struggles with life, love and career. She talks about the controversy that made headlines late last year when the 76ers basketball team refused to allow her to perform the national anthem at the season opener game while wearing a jersey with the words “We Matter”. The organization later apologized and invited Streeter to perform at a game two months later rocking the jersey and spreading social awareness about the racial discrimination currently plaguing the country:

“Even though the situation ended up turning into something seemingly negative for the 2.5 seconds that I was kicked out of [Philadelphia’s Wells Fargo] arena, it turned back around into something so much bigger and more positive than I could have ever imagined.”

“I’m very conscious and sensitive to the things that people go through, which is where a lot of my inspiration from my music comes from. [My music] is not just my life, or for me to be in my house by myself listening to it on my laptop. All of this is about people. Music is about people and experiences, human experiences.”

You can read the interview by Latifah Muhammed here where Streeter talks about working with YungBerg/Hitmaka, finding new management and why she recently broke down at a listening session.

The post “I Wanted To Kill Myself, I Really Did.” Sevyn Streeter Talks Love, Life and Listening To God On Girl Disrupted appeared first on MadameNoire.

Mystical

A post shared by Blac Chyna (@blacchyna) on Jul 6, 2017 at 5:42pm PDT

Amid the highly-publicized drama between Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian that became headline news this week, the model and entrepreneur shows no signs of defeat or slowing down her climb to fame.

Known for being a true hair chameleon who swears by wigs as the ultimate protective style for her natural texture, she flaunted a new hairstyle on Instagram that has everyone in awe. If you thought the revenge porn and accusations of physical abuse and possible drug use had everyone’s eyes on her, this hairstyle certainly trumps it.

It’s lit

A post shared by Blac Chyna (@blacchyna) on Jul 6, 2017 at 6:21pm PDT

eStyled by Atlanta-based hairstylist Kellon Deryck, Chyna showcased what we believe to be a full lace installation dyed to candy-colored perfection. Featuring hues of pink, lime green, purple, and turquoise, she dubbed the style “mystical.” And we have to definitely agree, this is giving us unicorn hair for sure.

Ladies, what are your thoughts? Are you feeling Blac Chyna’s new ‘do?

The post Get Into Blac Chyna’s New Technicolor ‘Do appeared first on MadameNoire.

The moment has finally arrived: Sevyn Streeter’s highly-anticipated debut album Girl Disrupted is now available for your listening pleasure.

It’s been nearly a year since the R&B chanteuse announced the project and now it’s finally in the ears of fans and soon-to-be fans alike. Released on Friday (July 7), it was a double celebration as she also celebrated her 31st birthday.

On the 13-track LP, which features single like  My Love for You,” “Before I Do,” and “Fallen,” Sevyn teamed up with Ty Dolla $ign, Jeremih, Wiz Khalifa, DeJ Loaf, August Alsina, and Dave East, among others.

ONLY 1 DAY TIL “GIRL DISRUPTED” 😜 #GIRLDISRUPTED 7•7•17

A post shared by 7ev (@sevyn) on Jul 6, 2017 at 7:36am PDT

“Over the last year and a half, I think that every possible thing that I could go through, I went through, whether it was dealing with depression or dealing with trying to date someone again, or feeling like you work really, really hard and not getting as far as you would like to in your career,” the singer shared with Rap-Up prior the the album’s release. “All of those things are real life things that people deal with. In one way or another, I wrote about that on my album.”

Stream Girl Disrupted below.

The post Sevyn Streeter’s Debut Album, ‘Girl Disrupted,’ Has Finally Arrived appeared first on MadameNoire.

I could be your supermodel, if you believe ✨

A post shared by ebonee davis (@eboneedavis) on Jul 6, 2017 at 10:00am PDT

Aside from using her global platform to speak on racial injustice in the fashion industry, we love model Ebonee Davis for several reasons. Following her passionate open letter that spoke out against racism within the beauty industry, her mane is a topic of conversation.

In all it’s kinky-curly glory, it’s beautiful and fierce and commands attention. “For me, wearing my natural hair is a form of resistance against Eurocentric beauty standards. I feel like it represents me in my true form. It’s a manifestation of how I feel on the inside and how I feel about myself,” Davis said during a panel at ESSENCE Fest Beauty and Style Stage alongside Harlem’s Fashion Row founder Brandice Henderson-Daniel.

“Wearing my hair natural is defying what we’ve been taught for so long, which is that white is the standard and euro features are more beautiful than Black features,” she continued. “For me, it’s showing people that however they’re born, however they look; they’re good enough.”

@elleusa shot by my dear friend @davidbellemere #TeamBellemereDavis 💪🏾

A post shared by ebonee davis (@eboneedavis) on Jun 5, 2017 at 11:08am PDT

With such an empowering view on her natural texture, Davis also shared what products she uses to keep her mane looking fly. And to our surprise, it’s quite simple.

“For shampoo, I’m using the SheaMoisture Jamaican Castor Oil Shampoo. For moisturizing and perfecting my curls, I use the Jane Carter Curl Defining Cream. That’s pretty much it. I keep my products to a minimum,” she revealed.

Read the full article on ESSENCE.

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