“Hey, you should meet my friend,” your co-worker says as she beckons a woman to come over.

An eerie emanation of evil envelopes the environment as she enters.

Shudder.

“Hello,” she says with a seemingly friendly smile, but the depths of your subconscious – tossing and turning in uneasiness at the pit of your stomach  – signals that she’s the devil incarnate in ripped jeans and stilettos.

She offers a hand for you to shake, but seeing as you can’t rationally justify yelling that you rebuke her in the name of Jesus while clutching an obnoxiously large wooden cross, you grudgingly oblige.

Sound familiar?

Maybe it’s just me, but I definitely believe that bad people – evil, malevolent company – carry villainous vibes around them. If you’re perceptive enough, you’ll spot ‘em before they poison your life. But if you’re too oblivious, you could be lunchin’ with Lucifer and not even know it.

What – exactly – are these mischief makers emanating that makes the intuitive among us feel all out of sorts? Is it a dark aura that sweeps the room with a gloomy chill? Is it an energy field that electrifies the environment with evil electrons? Theorizing with my friends, here’s what we decided:

“God is sending us warning signals, omens, intuitive pangs – whatever you want to call it – as a way of saying ‘This is a troublemaker! Run!’”

“Nah. That horrendous wave of unease that we feel, even though we just met the person, is a gaggle of ghosts who like to latch on to evil earthlings to get a front row seat to all the devilish drama,” another added.

“All that spiritual stuff ain’t right,” a third chimed in. “I just think it’s our survival instincts kicking in. Danger has a sound, it has a feeling. I can’t describe it, but it does! Like an antelope perking its ears at the very presence of a lion, we’ve got a sixth sense that sets off alarms when someone is a little off.”

I believe we all have an aura of energy that surrounds us. Everything we do in life – bad or good – is collected into that energy and “stored,” so to speak. So if you have a thang for being messy and wreaking havoc on other’s lives, the “stench” of your bad intentions sticks on you like mud on a cliff.

And when someone perceptive meets someone like this, all they want to do is run and run fast. They don’t know why, and they can’t explain it, but there’s this overwhelming urge to keep this person they just met at arm’s length.

I’ve had this happen to me a few times, that inexplicable feeling of dread after meeting someone new, but I could never bring myself to justify distancing myself from them because of a “feeling.” But each and every one of those people that gave me that “feeling,” without fail, morphed into a poisonous presence in my life, whether they were b-tchy bosses, cruel coworkers, fake friends, or serpentine strangers.

Who knows if it’s a gaggle of ghosts, a sign from the divine, or an energy field, but if someone is radiating a repugnant aura, chances are high they have ill intentions towards you, whether it’s a used car salesman trying to sell you a clunker or a new “friend” in the group who has a little trouble up her sleeve.

The more you surround yourself with people who enliven your spirits and uplift you — those with “good vibes” — the happier your life will be. But if you ignore your intuition and allow yourself to be swallowed by all the bad vibes – well – be prepared to get lost in their maze of misery.

What about you? Have you ever experienced bad vibes when meeting someone new?

Kimberly Gedeon is a content creator with nearly 2,000 professional articles published online about everything from beauty and business to social issues and pop culture. Say hello to her on Twitter @sweetenedcafe or Instagram @kimmiexsweetie. She doesn’t bite … much.

The post Ever Gotten “Bad Vibes” When Meeting Someone New? appeared first on MadameNoire.

This is the picuture I have been waiting on for like 3 years. COME ON NATURAL. pic.twitter.com/HF8AYpsciB

— gif sommelier (@meagnacarta) April 2, 2017

Last week, we wrote about the reaction from the internet after Michelle Obama stepped out showing her natural hair for the first time. The picture seemed to appear out of nowhere. So in the midst of the excitement, there were several folks who doubted that it was even her.

But Mrs. Obama’s longtime hair stylist Johnny Wright said that not only is it her, the picture is recent.

Wright told Refinery 29, “She just got back from vacation, I think, on Friday. I’m not sure if it was her going to the airport or coming back. But that is her, and it is recent.”

Wright said that while he doesn’t travel with her on vacations anymore, he knows that she was “blown straight before she left for vacation. I guess she got in the water or something, and she didn’t feel like straightening it herself. People want a more sexy answer, but that’s really what it is. I’m not with her.”

While many were surprised to see Mrs. Obama rocking her natural curls, Wright says she’s been this way for nearly the entire time she was in the White House. “I stopped doing her relaxer the first year of the administration,” Wright says. “Very shortly after that, her hair grew out completely. She has no relaxer anywhere on her hair, not even on the tips.”

Instead of opting for a big chop, Wright let Mrs. Obama’s relaxer grow out while maintaining the length of her hair. “I’m very particular about the health of her hair. I’ve always called myself a texture specialist, and I work well with keeping hair on the head. When your natural hair is growing out, that line of demarcation between the natural hair and your relaxer tends to break and pop. I made sure I kept it very soft and moisturized so she could keep her length as much as she could when she was going through that transition. I trimmed every four to six weeks, as I normally do, and that was it.”

And when it comes to the sheen of her blowouts, Wright says it’s all about technique.

“I did a lot of steam treatments with her, too. They’re important because they help build that resistance against humidity, and they keep the hair really strong.”

Wright also had a message for those who were disappointed or critiqued the fact that Mrs. Obama only started wearing her natural hair once she left office.

“She’s always embraced her natural hair. For the looks she was going for and the stories she wanted to tell, I styled her hair straight. There wasn’t any lack of embracing her curls. It’s just what she wanted to do.”

Wright insists that Mrs. Obama was not dissuaded from wearing her natural hair based on what the public may have thought.

“You have people who are going to love them, hate them or be indifferent. You can’t dictate the way you want to tell your story through your aesthetic by what the backlash would or wouldn’t be. I don’t think that’s a conversation we would’ve had. We don’t think that way.”

Still, Wright understands the excitement around the image.

“I do think that a woman of her complexion, with her figure and her hair texture, has given a whole lot of other women a chance to look in the mirror and say ‘I am beautiful, too’ because I have somebody representing me,” says Wright. “Her husband was the leader of the free world. She represented this country very well, and her platform was pure and from the heart. Having this conversation about her hair texture is totally justifiable.”

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post “She Has No Relaxer Anywhere On Her Hair” Michelle Obama’s Stylist Confirms Viral Pic Is Real & Recent appeared first on MadameNoire.

Last week we told you that on Braxton Family Values, Tamar Braxton revealed for the first time that she recently had a miscarriage. That “very very new” miscarriage actually took place in 2016, amidst a year of disappointments that included her dismissal from The Real, the poor sales of her album and cancellation of her tour, and her unexpected exit from Dancing with the Stars due to health issues. It was a rough time.

These days, though, Braxton has a lot to be happy about, including Vince’s major weight loss and her new music. But that doesn’t mean Braxton plans on ceasing attempts to have more kids.

The 40-year-old spoke open and honestly to Glamour about what it’s like going through IVF, how she went from not wanting to have any kids to wanting as many as possible, and why she thinks it’s so important for women to freeze their eggs. Here are a few comments that stood out:

On Beyoncé Giving Her Hope

Beyonce gives me hope. She’s pregnant with twins in her late 30s, and that’s such an amazing blessing. And for myself, I want the Patridge [sic] family. I just don’t know how they’re going to get here. I’m very nervous about going through that whole process of IVF again, because having a loss after going through it is really devastating. It really is a loss you can’t explain.

How She Went From Wanting No Children to Wanting As Many As Possible

Early on, there was a time where I was like, ‘I don’t want kids! I’m all about my career,’ and my gynecologist said, ‘Here’s the thing, Tamar: You never know what life is ever going to throw you, so you should really consider freezing your eggs.’ Vince and I talked about it, and when I went for my initial IVF—when I was just going to freeze my eggs—I didn’t know that I had infertility issues. I was blocked on both sides as if I had my tubes tied. I was 34 when I found this out. They don’t know what causes that. The devil? Ha! It’s just my makeup. The doctors didn’t think I couldn’t have kids; it wasn’t going to happen [the natural] way. I didn’t even know that until I went to go freeze my eggs. But I was cool with it, because at that time I didn’t even want to have kids. Now, I would have started at 28, 29, 30, but you don’t know until you know.

On Logan Being Her “Miracle Baby”

What happened was, right after IVF, coincidentally I got pregnant with Logan. He’s the best thing that ever happened to Vince and I. Considering I was told I probably wouldn’t be able to have kids [without help], that’s why Logan is a real miracle baby.

At first, right after I had him, I’m like, ‘I’m not having any more kids!’ I hated being pregnant! I wanted an apple martini the whole time. I craved it. [Pregnancy] was hell. And then you fall in love with this kid—this crazy miracle—and all of the sudden want more. He has enriched my life so much.

What It’s Like Going Through IVF

Vince and I started trying for a second child, but it just didn’t work. My gynecologist was like, ‘You need to use the eggs you were able to freeze.’ I didn’t want to go through the whole IVF situation again because I knew what [was involved]. My personality changed. I was a hateful heffer [sic]. And I didn’t want to be hateful! I knew what it did. And I was so hungry! I ate all day! But I knew I wanted a baby more than I cared about all these other things. So, me and Vince went through getting the injections all over again to get my uterus ready to have the embryo implanted. And when you’re 38 or 39, the doctors only want to implant one embryo. I had six viable embryos, and four were healthy. But when you’re in your late 30s, the doctors only want to implant one at a time because there’s a higher percentage rate of multiple births. Knowing that they could only implant one at at time was devastating to me. Because if that one didn’t stick, I knew I would have to go through the entire process again. Aside from the physical toll on your body from all the shots, the IV’s, the blood work, etc., it’s so expensive to keep going through it. No matter how much money people think you have, expensive is expensive! And there’s no guarantee it’s going to work.

On Losing Her Pregnancy and Dealing With a Lot of Loss at Once

I got the implantation, and I went for my pregnancy test, and it was positive. Three days later though, they called to tell me my numbers were going down. When your numbers are going down, it’s a wrap. I wasn’t pregnant that long after my pregnancy test.

I didn’t know how I was going to get out of my bed for a couple weeks. But you just do, you know? The same choice you make to be courageous and go through this process is the same choice to get up and keep going. It was hard because I still had to work. But after the miscarriage, I wanted so badly for the other things in my life to work. My tour got canceled. Of course everybody knows what happened at [The Real]. [Ed. note: Braxton and the show parted ways in May 2016]. My album came out and I couldn’t support it. I had to stop Dancing with the Stars. I just wanted to feel like I achieved something that I set out to do. When it didn’t happen, I felt like I was going to have an emotional breakdown. It was tough.

Why She Thinks Women Need to Get Serious About Freezing Their Eggs at a Certain Age

I tell my girlfriends, ‘will you please go freeze your eggs?’ Everyone is waiting for the right guy and the right time and the right financial block that they’re in, but we kind of take it for granted that we’ll always be able to have children. Go and do it. Because you never know. Once you turn 35, they view that as a high-risk pregnancy.

Her Plans to Keep Trying

I have three embryos left. I’m definitely going to put them to use. I just don’t know how yet. I’m looking forward to expanding our family because it’s very important to Vince and I. And I am looking forward to learning more about myself, being proud of myself and not being so hard on myself as a woman and as a mother. It really is a choice to have a good day or to have a bad day. You can have the most jacked up thing happen to you, but the choice is how you handle it!

Image via WENN

The post Tamar Braxton Says “Beyoncé Gives Me Hope” That She Will Have More Kids Following Miscarriage appeared first on MadameNoire.

Wanna go all the way vegan — like all the way? Food is just a starting point for many people interested in fueling their body with healthier things that don’t rely on animal by-products, but there are so many other areas where we rely on animals for our own livelihood, and in some instances, vanity. Skincare is a large area where animal testing is regularly done and that extends to soaps, washes and other products we put all over our body. And while there are a number of brands now that make vegan skincare products, of course we’re shouting out the Black-owned brands supplying all of our vegan body care needs. Here are four of them.

Alaffia

Alaffia features a number of products for your face and body skincare needs, ranging from soaps, balms, and body washers to fair trade butters and oils, as well as deodorants and lotions. A number of empowerment efforts also stem from the brand which uses proceeds to fund projects related to women’s health, FGM eradication, education, and reforestation.

Jovi Shai Beauty

As Jovi Shai Beauty’s website states from the outset, “Our products are natural in every sense of the word.” We personally have our eyes on the Black Hawaiian Lava Salt Scrub, which can be used on the face and body, but the line also has a shea coconut body conditioner, coconut lava bar, and even hair products for you and bae.

Foxie Cosmetics

All products from this brand are handcrafted by Foxie herself, aka, Kayla Phillips. Since 2015, the beauty brand founder has made over 500 bath, body, skin and hair care products from ingredients like castor, jojoba, avocado, and argan oil, cocoa butter, green tea, rose petals, Epson salt, and more. And items have fun names like “Water Me,” “Potty Mouth,” and “Mermaids Tail.”

tropikal bliss

Want great skincare products with “no nasties”? make tropikal bliss your go-to. This brand offers a range of products for clarifying, toning, mattifying, and brightening skin, and the website even has success stories showing just how effective its skincare kits are.

The post 4 Black-Owned Vegan Skincare Brands appeared first on MadameNoire.

How Many Drinks? - Miguel

Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke

Back to Sleep - Chris Brown

What Do You Mean? - Justin Bieber

Don't Be Afraid - Aaron Hall

Blame It on the Alcohol - Jamie Foxx

Jamie Foxx's "Blame It (On the Alcohol)," in which Foxx attempts to f--k a woman who "says she usually don't" but that he knows is "frontin" because "she don't wanna seem like she's easy." (But she is). Foxx knows she's ready to admit she wants it when "she spilled some drink on me / And now I'm knowin' she tipsy." My neighbor has this song as her ringtone.

Love in This Club - Usher

"U.O.E.N.O"  - Rocko feat. Rick Ross

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Every Breath You Take - The Police

The post “I Know You Want It”: 10 Popular Songs You Grooved To That People Say Are Problematic appeared first on MadameNoire.

There’s no need to wonder where Shonda Rhimes stands on women’s rights and the necessity of Planned Parenthood. The media maven was already serving on the organization’s Los Angeles board but now she’s taking her efforts to the national level.

Rhimes told Elle that when Planned Parenthood Federation of America president Cecile Richards invited her to consider the new position, she didn’t hesitate.

“When someone you really admire…calls on you to serve, you say yes. The fact is that women’s health is under fire right now. And so to me, it feels like it’s important to help fight back. I just want to be of service. And I’ll do that any way I can.”

When Elle asked Richards why she chose Rhimes for this position, she said.

“…what she brings not only to this board, but frankly to the world, is her commitment to lift up the stories of people who don’t always get heard, whether it’s in the way she talks about LGBT issues or women’s reproductive health care or [the way she] centers people of color on television. To me, the most important work we can do now at Planned Parenthood is make sure that the voices of all those folks are heard, particularly in this political environment. And there’s just no one better at utilizing the power of storytelling than Shonda Rhimes.”

Rhimes said that it’s time for people to be concerned about issues that don’t affect them directly.

“I’d put it this way: There are a lot of men who run things. And so for them, if it’s not about them, it’s considered an “other.” I think the point of our country, our planet, the reason we’re all here, one of the best things that we can do is be concerned about something even when it doesn’t concern us. That’s the whole point. The fact that I’ve never had to use a Planned Parenthood, the fact that I’ve never been in need of medical services I couldn’t afford or didn’t have access to, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be concerned about the fact that other women don’t have that access. I think that’s important. The same way there shouldn’t be men going around saying, “Well, it’s just a women’s issue” because it doesn’t involve their uteruses because they don’t have them. That’s such a simplistic and silly way to look at this. Obviously, it concerns them. It should obviously concern them. When you help make people healthier, it makes the nation healthier, it makes the world healthier, it makes the economy healthier.”

In the discussion, Rhimes and Richards also talked about Olivia Pope’s fictitious abortion on “Scandal” and the lack of backlash she received because of it.

“I don’t know that I was surprised. But I think that the studio and the network were surprised that there wasn’t a backlash. Yes, as we’ve all become more educated and aware, I think people have developed very different opinions over what is “controversial” and what’s not. I’m constantly having the conversations; I had a lot of conversations when we did that scene in which I tried to explain that just like all the scenes I did on Grey’s Anatomy, in this scene we were portraying a medical procedure that is legal in the United States of America. I wasn’t sure what everybody was so concerned about. I was accurately portraying a medical procedure that the Supreme Court says people are allowed to have. I wasn’t going to pull any punches. It’s been a long time since Roe v. Wade, and I do think [most people] are able to have respect for other people’s choices. Most people, I think, have accepted that it’s not up to them to control other people’s choices, except, it seems, when it comes to Washington, D.C., where everyone has an opinion about people’s uteruses.”

Read the full discussion between Rhimes and Richards over at Elle.

The post Shonda Rhimes Joins Planned Parenthood’s National Board appeared first on MadameNoire.

April showers bring May flowers…but they also can bring those struggle hair days. Don’t fret. Yolanda Renee has the perfect go-to weather-proof style for your little curlies to get through those rainy days.

Step 1: Wash the hair and add the Just For Me^® Natural Hair Nutrition Leave In Conditioner that is infused with coconut milk, shea butter, vitamin E, and sunflower oil. This will help keep the hair moisturized. Stretch the hair with a blow dryer in a downward motion.

Step 2: In the back, part the hair down the middle and do two large flat twists.

Step 3: Take several big sections and do two strand twists.

Step 4: Pull them apart to make the twists expand.

Step 5: Arrange the twists in the front and bobby pin.

Step 6: Don’t forget to curl the edges by adding a little Just For Me^® Natural Hair Nutrition Moisture Rich Styling Smoothie to help keep the frizz down.

Step 7: This is adorable and appropriate for those dreary days.

Be sure to check out Yolanda’s other tutorials with Taylor using Just For Me^® Natural Hair Nutrition hair care products.

The post Rain, Rain, Go Away! Try A Weather-Proof Twisted Up Do with Just For Me® appeared first on MadameNoire.

Earlier this year, we reported that Carolyn Bryant, the woman who testified that Emmett Till made verbal advances toward her, had lied. She admitted this detail when she sat down to speak to author Timothy Tyson for his book The Blood of Emmett Till.

Well, words are powerful. And it looks like Bryant’s are enacting action on behalf of the Justice Department who is currently considering reopening the investigation into the murder of 14-year-old Emmett Till back in 1955.

Till’s cousin Deborah Watts said that during a meeting with her and civil rights activist Alvin Sykes, Attorney General Jeff Sessions told her “no one gets a pass” saying that he would like to look into the unsolved civil rights crimes.

Emmett Till was heinously beaten and shot in the head by Roy Bryant and J.W. Milan after Bryant’s wife Carolyn Bryant (now Bryant Donham) said Till whistled at her and touched her in the Mississippi store the family owned.

Three days later, Till’s disfigured body was found attached to a cotton gin floating in the Tallahatchie River.

Till’s mother Mamie memorably kept her son’s casket open at his funeral so that thousands were able to see the brutality of the killing. The murder sparked outrage, protest and a spark in the Civil Right’s Movement.

After 21-year-old Carolyn Bryant’s testimony, Bryant and Milam were acquitted after less than an hour of jury deliberation. A year later, the pair confessed to the murder but we were never charged again.

Dunham, now 82, told Tyson “Nothing that boy did could ever justify what happened to him.” Donham, who also lost one of her son’s said that she felt “tender sorrow” for Emmett Till’s mother.

After the confession, Congressman Bennie Thompson, D-Mississippi, wrote a letter to the Assistant Attorney General Thomas Wheeler in February asking him to reexamine the case.

Thompson’s letter said that Donham admitted that she “fabricated the interaction with Till while under oath during the trial of Till’s murderers.” The “false statement holds liability for the death of Emmett Louise Till” and “affords the Department of Justice the opportunity to bring some justice to an innocent 14-year-old boy.”

In a letter back to Thompson, Wheeler wrote: “the Department is currently assessing whether the newly revealed statement could warrant additional investigation.”

But Wheeler was careful to admit that the process would not be easy.

“We caution, however, that even with our best efforts, investigations into historic cases are exceptionally difficult, and there may be insurmountable legal and evidentiary barriers to bringing federal charges against any remaining living persons.”

The Emmett Till case was reexamined in 2004 and his body was exhumed in 2005 but a jury decided not to indict because, after 50 years, the statue of limitations had been exceeded.

But in 2016, President Obama expanded a 2008 order from President Bush that gave government agencies the ability to reopen investigations into civil rights era cases.

Till’s cousin, Deborah Watts says that she and her family want this case and other civils rights cold cases to become a priority for the Justice Department. You can watch her interview with NBC News below.

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post After Carolyn Bryant Admitted She Lied On Emmett Till, Justice Department Considers Reopening Case appeared first on MadameNoire.

April showers are definitely here, which means we have a lot of May flowers to look forward to next month, but for now, it seems the closest any of us will get to flowers is a design on a jacket, like these bomb bombers.

Bomber jackets have become a spring staple due to their light weight and short length, keeping us warm when those cool breezes hit but preventing us from getting too warm in the sunshine. And nothing says you’re ready for this season like a floral bomber jacket with all the bright colors of spring just beckoning the sun to come out and play. If you’re still looking for a go-to jacket for the spring, try one of these on for size.

Neiman Marcus Floral-Embroidered Bomber Jacket-$97.30

Alyx Bomber Jacket-$39.99

Obey Jinx Reversible Bomber Jacket-$63.60

Rebecca TaylorFirework Floral Bomber Jacket-$395

Scotch & Soda/Maison Scotch Floral Bomber Jacket-$235

endless rose Bomber Jacket -$72.80

The post Flower Bomb: 7 Floral Bomber Jackets For When The Sun Actually Comes Out appeared first on MadameNoire.

As the saying goes, “The bigger, the better.” But is that always the case?

When it comes to sex in relationships, not so much. Despite some women saying that they desire a man who is well-endowed, when put to the test of actually dealing with one is who is more blessed than most, they quickly realize that sometimes less is more. Hell, even singer K. Michelle knew her vaginal limits when Chad Johnson pursued her.

“I would not let him have sex with me,” she told Necole Kane (formerly known as Bitchie) back in 2014. “Because I did not want him to stretch my walls out because I need them. I need them. I looked at his penis and I said you know what? Uh Uh. I’m not–that thing is unreal. I can’t. I can’t take that.”

Plenty of women have shared such “less is more” sentiments online. The Thrillist did a story in 2016 called “When the Penis Is Waaaay Too Big, According to Women,” where real women shared what it’s really like to be with a man who is a little too well-endowed. One story, in particular, made us here in the office cringe:

One night I went home with this guy I’d met. We basically stumbled into his place, not even bothering to turn a light on anywhere. I get a glimpse of his c–k in the light of a lamppost outside and it’s huge… just long and thick and ridiculous. My drunk self decides I can take this and I’m so drunk and so horny that we get to it and he goes in dry. Hurts at first and then I’m getting wetter and wetter and it’s crazy. Anyways, everything reaches its conclusion and he gets up to go for the inevitable post-coital piss. On his way out he flicks on the light. There is blood everywhere. Between him splitting me open and the lack of foreplay, his bed has turned into that hallway from The Shining. And I’m so drunk and embarrassed I throw on my clothes and 30 seconds later I’m running out of his house barefoot with blood down my legs.

I think “yikes” is an understatement for that one.

In a tamer tale, a woman wrote into the popular “Go Ask Alice!” column seeking advice on how to deal with sex that just isn’t pleasurable for her or her partner because of his long and wide junk:

“I am unable to perform oral sex except for the first couple of inches due to the girth, and vaginal sex is not totally satisfying for him because he is too long and cannot fully penetrate without causing me significant pain,” she wrote. “I’ve seen my doctor, and am reassured that there is physically nothing wrong with me — no infections or scarring, but am finding it difficult to come up with a solution.”

In an everyday dating situation, I had a classmate in college who was with a guy who had a lot going on down there. The head of the penis was supposedly pretty large, and to get it in required some work — and some pain. It was something people assumed she would be happy about, but my classmate eventually couldn’t take his penis anymore. And similar to the Go Ask Alice! situation, her boyfriend couldn’t really go all the way in without causing her a lot of discomfort, making intercourse less enjoyable for him. That, coupled with other common relationship issues (they argued a lot — not about his penis, though), was enough to persuade her to call it quits with him. When one of our friends joked that she knew she was going to miss all that he was working with, said classmate could only laugh and say, “No, actually, I won’t.”

Can a large penis really be more of a curse than a blessing in a relationship? For quite a few women, it can be. However, there are methods to help you deal with the madness, from switching up positions to not allowing him to penetrate until you’re really, truly, absolutely ready and turned on. Patience on the part of both parties is necessary.

I don’t know about anyone else’s situation in full, but if the man my friend from college was with had been the right guy for her, she might have tried to experiment and make things work when it came to his penis. But add that big issue to their quarrels and the fact that she was the one always going out of her way to see him, and well, it just wasn’t worth it. But when it is worth it, you know what to do — stock up on lube, take it slow and breathe…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. What say you? Would you have to call it quits on dating a guy who is just a little too well-endowed, causing sex to be painful? 

Images via Getty

The post Is This Petty? He’s A Little Too Well-Endowed For Me appeared first on MadameNoire.

This season, like every other on the show has been full of drama. But for the first time, perhaps, friendships have been tested because of some pretty heinous and outright lies, mainly on the part of Porsha. So, needless to say, the reunion should be electrifying. Apparently, Bravo believes it will too. That’s why for the first time, the reunion will take place over four nights.

In the trailer for the show, Porsha, who will no doubt be at the center of the controversy, said “There are walk-offs, tons of tears and the lies, the lies.”

The first installment will air on Sunday, April 16 at 8 p.m. In part one Kenya and Shereé talk about their homes, Phaedra and Kenya examine their volatile relationship. Kenya talks about Porch’s anger management and of course, Porsha and Kandi deal with one another.

The second part involves the men, including Kenya’s former man Matt, Phaedra and her “divorce” from Apollo, and Shereé talks about the abusive marriage to Bob.

Part three is more of the same, with Peter and Todd this time. And then part four, Porsha and Kandi duke it out once again. In the trailer you’ll see several of the ladies exiting the stage and the cameras follow them.

Will you be watching? Peep the trailer below.

The post Tears Are Shed And Truth Tea Spilled At The RHOA Reunion. Watch The Trailer appeared first on MadameNoire.

Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade

Kevin and Eniko Hart

Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin

Ne-Yo and Crystal Renay Smith

Ace Hood and Shelah Marie

Gucci Mane and Keyshia Ka'oir

LeBron James and Savannah James

Mr & Mrs Taylor #workout #standstrong Together we Fight.. pic.twitter.com/QyybRzIsGF

— Fantasia Barrino (@TasiasWord) December 31, 2015

Fantasia and Kendall Taylor

@kanyewest and @KimKardashian arriving at Barry's Bootcamp in LA ❤️ pic.twitter.com/jkO74bKgk0

— Kardashian ❤️ Jenner (@Awaiix) December 24, 2014

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

Nicci Gilbert and Leonard M. Daniels

Niecy Nash and Jay Tucker

The post Happy And Healthy: 11 Celebrity Couples Who Work Out Together appeared first on MadameNoire.

Do you remember at what age you dated your very first boyfriend? For Olympic gold medal-winning gymnast Simone Biles, she is still waiting to have her first boyfriend, but she’s sick and tired of patiently doing so.

“I have never had a boyfriend in my life,” she told Entertainment Tonight as they chatted with her at her Dancing with the Stars rehearsal this week. “At 20 years old I feel like you should have gone through those things and gone on dates. I have been on like, maybe one proper date.”

As we’ve previously noted, Biles has been open about the fact that she spent a large chunk of her youth training for and competing in gymnastics competitions so that she could be where she is now. However, such sacrifices kept her from doing a lot of the things her friends were doing at a young age, including going to homecomings, proms and obviously on some dates.

But no worries for the beauty, as Biles revealed that despite her incredibly hectic schedule, that “proper date” she mentioned actually happened recently. She said there will be a second one.

“I think it went OK,” she told ET. According to Biles, the date ended with a kiss. As for who exactly she’s been kissing on, she won’t tell. But she will say that the guy’s body is right. And considering that she is in incredible shape, that’s saying a lot.

“He’s got a good body,” she said. “I’m just saying, it’s … I’m just saying!”

Mark down “good body” as something Biles is looking for in a man! We know about her crush on Zac Efron, and he has a good, if not great body, so we can’t help but wonder if he’s her current romantic interest. Either way, we’re glad to hear that she’s finally making time to have some fun.

Image via WENN 

The post Simone Biles Says, “I Have Never Had A Boyfriend In My Life” appeared first on MadameNoire.

Before anyone says anything crazy: We love Black men. We support Black men. We love Black love.

And we also enjoy the presence of more than a few white thespians on screen.

There’s no replacement for chocolate in our book, but if we’re being honest, when we see some white male actors on screen it just… does something to us, if you will. As we talked about Simone Biles’ admission that she never had a boyfriend before — and her confession that the beau she just went out on a date with has a “good body,” we started wondering whether it might be her man crush, Zac Efron. And from there it spiraled into an hour-long discussion of the white men who wet our appetites. Here’s what we came up with.

Note: At the time of press Victoria could not definitively decide on whether Paul Walker was indeed her fifth choice.

Veronica: Justin Baldoni, George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Zac Ephron, Freddie Prinze Jr (back in the day)

Victoria: Brad Pitt, Ryan Phillipe (back in the day), Tom Hardy, Leonardo DiCaprio, Paul Walker (RIP)

Brande: Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Tom Hardy, Paul Walker (RIP), Mark Wahlberg (racist past withstanding)

The post Top 5 White Boys Who Could Get It — Go appeared first on MadameNoire.

I always loved when my dad used the phrase, “A hit dog shole will holla.” It perfectly encapsulates the human tendency to protest and cry out when you believe something someone has said directly applies to you.

It was a phrase that showed up in the comment section of an Instagram post from one of Tiny’s friends.

Just sayin……

A post shared by Shamra (@shamrastar) on Apr 6, 2017 at 9:08am PDT

Facts. And honestly, I’m glad someone finally said it.

I’m sure you know where this is going. But if you’re wondering who the “hit dog” in this situation is, it’s T.I. And he let it be known that he was in his feelings by posting a response under “Shamrastar’s” note. Unfortunately for us he’s since deleted it but from subsequent comments, we can tell that T.I. likely resorted to the trite method of insinuating that a woman is not worthy of an opinion unless she “has a man.”

Tiny’s friend Shamra responded.

@troubleman31 oh my n*gga this ain’t no shade at you what so ever. Don’t really know what you speak of but understand this that man you speak of, I let him go. He didn’t leave me so go get ya facts straight and then come holla at me! Betta yet you have my number so if it’s any problem you know how to get at me! Trust and believe I’ve never addressed your relationship because had we all know how that can go. So please have a seat! Better yet hit my line! It’s open.

Then T.I. came back again.

@shamrastar nah no thanx. I’ll pass. If I never have to see or speak to you again, my heart would smile.

There are a variety of comments from people who believe that Shamra was obviously referencing T.I. and should take care of home and then there were those who believe T.I. just admitted his guilt by being pressed enough to respond in the first place.

The post Tiny’s Friend Calls Out Men Who Highlight Injustices But Don’t Take Care Of Home & T.I. Gets Mad appeared first on MadameNoire.

Consult your doctor   

Get physical   

Clean your gut out   

Stop smoking immediately  

Start taking vitamins  

Beware of the chemicals you use around the house. 

Schedule a dentist appointment  

Know your family history  

Reduce your stress 

The post 10 Ways To Prepare Your Body For A Baby appeared first on MadameNoire.

Happy mommy, happy baby. Being a working mom in Hollywood can be tough – the long days, the travel. But I’m doing what I love and that makes me a better mom to her. I’m proud to join @BabyDoveUS to celebrate all the #realmoms trusting the choices they make for themselves and their babies. #DovePartner

A post shared by Tika Sumpter (@tikasumpter) on Apr 4, 2017 at 3:22pm PDT

Tika Sumpter

Kerry Washington

When you find a pair of pj's that rock your world.

A post shared by Halle Berry (@halleberry) on Apr 6, 2017 at 12:32pm PDT

Halle Berry

Michael Ealy

Late night's with my future Spelman woman & little Kunta!! Don't forget to Download the new #KandidlyKeshia as we celebrate Women' s History Month!! #MommyAndEllaGrace #MomLife #Love

A post shared by Keshia Knight Pulliam (@keshiaknightpulliam) on Mar 17, 2017 at 10:09pm PDT

Keshia Knight Pulliam

Jessie Williams & adorable daughter ♥ *clutches ovaries* pic.twitter.com/W8GEXqWL1L

— Zintle (@zintle_d) June 11, 2014

Jessie Williams

Acting is a career that affords some really exceptional pleasures #mommyandme #setlife #workingmom

A post shared by Tatyana Ali (@tatyanaali) on Mar 7, 2017 at 8:40pm PST

Tatyana Ali

A post shared by Tyra Banks (@tyrabanks) on Jan 11, 2017 at 5:31pm PST

Tyra

@MsLaurenLondon is so beautiful man!!! pic.twitter.com/19PO19VM1y

— Rachel (@rara2flyyy) March 2, 2017

Lauren London

The post Celebrities Who Won’t Show Their Children…Or Haven’t Yet appeared first on MadameNoire.

Although I spent most of my summer post high school graduation in my then boyfriend’s off campus apartment, even then I knew that I had no desire to go to go to college at the time. Holidays like Memorial Day and 4^th of July were sandwiched in between summer session as he desperately tried to fulfill the requirements for a theater arts degree that he didn’t want, took him almost 5 years to get and to this day he still doesn’t use. Witnessing him drag himself to his undergrad classes was much like witnessing a toddler get dragged to a day of Hydrangea and garden shear shopping at Home Depot with mom. And although I now realize at 18 I didn’t know a damn thing about real life back then, I did know a whole lot about myself. And I knew I didn’t want to go to college because it wasn’t the best move for me at the time and that truly turned out to be a great decision.

And that’s the problem with Chicago Mayor’s Rahm Emanuel’s education plan for the city’s high school students: Among other obvious flaws, it doesn’t take into account that youth may know more about what they want for their lives than any parent, teacher, or city official might. This past Wednesday Emanuel announced a plan for a new graduation requirement for the city’s high school students that requires them to have proof of a post-grad life plan in order to receive a diploma. That proof was initially limited to a college acceptance letter from either a community college or four-year-college, a trade program or the armed services. A press release was later sent out that stated that job offers or acceptance into a gap year program would count as well.

Emanuel says the plan will hopefully raise expectations that students will adapt to:

“Just like you do with your children, college, post-high school, that is what’s expected. If you change expectations, it’s not hard for kids to adapt.”

The thing is whether they are leading by example or not, I don’t believe most parents or caregivers are sending their teens the message that the hard work is over once their grad cap gets thrown in the air. Even in my mother’s household, I went through the motions of applying to undergrad. I wrote the essays and volunteered at school events in a last minute rush to make myself appear well-rounded and act like I cared about other things besides myself and being up under my boyfriend. I even got a few college acceptance letters. Still in September I found myself helping my friends pack up the cars as they headed to Random Liberal Arts University in West Bumblefugg, PA before I finished out my fourth summer making blizzards at the Dairy Queen. Because at the end of the day no matter how many college acceptance letters a student might get, that doesn’t mean they can or will enroll.

My parents also weren’t necessarily dead set on me running off to college if all I was going to do was party and bulls**t and fail out. “You don’t have to go to school, but you do need to do something while you’re figuring it all out,” my mother reminded me. She set expectations, but also took into account how much harder things seemed to be becoming for my generation and had already had one child who had started college only to take out loans and waste time only to discover it wasn’t for her. For my older sister this also meant that there were some partially wasted tuition on my mom’s dime, student loan debt and still no damn degree. And my ex with the theater degree never made it to Broadway, in fact he spends much of his time ranting on Facebook about how his degree was a waste and he should’ve started selling weed a long time ago. On the flip side, I have friends who went to college straight after high school, had high GPA’s and still don’t know how to balance a checkbook or how the electoral college works in a democracy. The glaring point that Emanuel is clearly over-looking is that simply sending kids to college doesn’t guarantee success.

In an article posted on Slate Jordan Weissman suggested that Emanuel replace micro-managing student’s lives with addressing the real issues that are hindering them when it comes to pursuing higher education:

“Give kids access to guidance counselors. Send them on tours of local colleges. Ask them to create five-year plans in ninth grade, if you must. Offer scholarships.”

Furthermore not only is college not for everyone, but college right after high school isn’t for everyone. I’ve always been a proponent of the gap year, after taking three years off myself. Those three years were spent getting smart about life and growing up including falling in love, breaking up and making up, screwing up my credit, working and developing a work ethic, learning how much it costs to live well and how to pay bills. In those years I learned who I was, what I was made of and what I actually wanted out of life and didn’t have to do it while keeping a GPA up and making sure I was keeping enough college credits to keep my financial aid. In fact, Weissman also points us how “conveniently” this plan works for for-profit colleges:

“As some people are already noting on Twitter, a plan like this seems like an obvious marketing bonanza for predatory, for-profit colleges. It also seems like a good way to funnel under-prepared students to community colleges they may simply drop out of.”

At the end of the day it’s not fair to force all high school students to sign up for a life plan that many are beginning to question even works. My fellow millennials are chock full of innovation and creativity, many finding success by taking the off beaten path and not subscribing to Emanuel’s dated ideas of what it means to be successful. Emanuel probably has the best of intentions, and it’s great to encourage today’s youth to set the bar higher for themselves but I fear we’re killing their creativity in the process and limiting what may be the only opportunity they have to learn about life outside the classroom, which counts just as much as any core class.

Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a  passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

The post Rahm Emanuel And Why Forcing Kids To Go To College Will Always Be A Fail appeared first on MadameNoire.

I have never attended a daddy daughter dance, but I was raised with a father in the household and can attest I am a complete Daddy’s girl. I still call my father to ask him everything from how to properly remove a beehive from my front porch to what the hell is “Deacon Blues” by Steely Dan really about? Now that I have my own daughter, one of the things that I think is irreplaceable is the bond I see that’s being built between her and her father. It’s a relationship of wrestling, realism and an outlook on the world that I don’t think I’d be able to offer her. It’s an outlook that is different than mine and not just based off of our personalities, but one I also believe that’s shaped by our different genders and how that affects the way we see the world and the way the world relates to us. In a world where the boundaries between genders become more and more negotiable and where we’re beginning to question if gender makes as much of a difference as we once thought, I am still determining exactly where I stand on the difference having a father in the home makes.

According to Amy Peterson, having a father in the home doesn’t matter all that much when it comes to making your kids happy. In the piece, “Daddy-Daughter Dances Have No Place in 2017”, the website Café Mom shares how Peterson went the extra mile most moms do when it came to making sure her 6-year-old daughter, Gracie, had a date to her elementary school’s Daddy Daughter Dance. Given that Gracie’s dad is no longer in the household, Peterson drew on a fake beard the night of the dance and notified the school a month ahead of time she’d be coming in his place. Unfortunately, officials at Henry County School District weren’t feeling this family’s creativity and called the home the night of the dance to inform Peterson that she would be barred from the dance if she tried to enter, because, well she’s not a Dad.

Peterson discussed her daughter’s disappointment with WSB, an ABC affiliate:

“To me, I’ve identified myself as her father and her mother because that’s what I’ve done for six years.”

“She was okay with it. She was excited that her friends were going to get to see this.”

“She [the principal] said, ‘No. I forbid you to come and if you show up we will turn you away. How do you explain that to a 6-year-old? You can’t go to a dance because you don’t have a male role model in your life?”

The school district was unapologetic for their refusal to allow Peterson to attend and stood by their decision releasing the following statement:

“The school is cognizant that different dynamics exist across households in our school system.”

“There are multiple parent engagement events and opportunities to participate with their kids annually at this school in an effort to make that connection and build school spirit.”

And this is where I find myself torn. The situation is reminiscent of the memes I see across my Facebook feed shortly before Father’s Day that read, “Not sure if it’s Father’s Day or Single Moms Venting Day”. The idea that one parent shouldn’t be celebrated over the other on specific occasions or that the celebration of either is somehow synonymous with single-parent shaming. I don’t think Peterson should’ve necessarily been turned away which was probably traumatizing for a first grader excited about getting dressed up and doing The Running Man with her friends and their family members. I understand that the world is changing and I try to be as open-minded as possible for those who don’t identify with traditional gender norms, and for children who grow up in non-traditional homes where they aren’t raised by a mom AND a dad. However, I worry society is crumbling to a gray area where children will begin to believe the world will always cater to their specific circumstances (and if it doesn’t, then it’s wrong) and where boundaries aren’t clear (and boundaries don’t always have to be bad). I worry that we are teaching our children that everything that isn’t about them is against them.

I think I like the idea of father/daughter dances or “Muffins with Mom” and events that highlight specific relationships and the uniqueness of them rather than the “People That Love You Dance”. I don’t like that this mom was barred (unnecessarily traumatizing for the child), but I also fear raising my daughter with the idea that everything that doesn’t address her particular situation in life is troubling or offensive. As a woman I feel it’s important for young women to be able to identify examples of healthy males in their lives, whether they’re being raised by one mom or two. Our culture is dominated by patriarchy and men who so often disregard woman’s identities, thoughts and feelings unless they’re making a statement on how they should or shouldn’t behave, so it’s good for girls to have opportunities to see that good men DO exist. So if there isn’t a father to be that example, hopefully a big brother, a cool uncle or even an old-fashioned “Pop Pop” can be that person.

I work with a lot of youth from single parent homes, have relatives that were raised by my Grandma, and have friends who are single parents. I respect and applaud the fact that there are single parents who are raising their children on their own and doing a kick ass job at it. But what’s wrong with taking pride in the bond a young woman has with her father?  I never hesitate to yell from the rooftops that my Dad is one of the coolest dudes I know and I feel I am that much better off in life because of his presence in it. Does that mean I’m insulting single moms or I’m throwing shade at those who don’t have that type of relationship with their Dad? I guess my question is where does it end?  Should schools just not celebrate parents all together? What about the kids being raised by adult siblings or grandparents?  Should they be offended too?

Jeanne Sager, author of the article expressed her feelings as to why these type of events should be eliminated from schools altogether:

“Father-daughter dances, donuts with dad, muffins with mom … they’re the sort of old-fashioned heteronormative events that have no place in 2017 — at least not in our public schools. It’s not because there’s anything wrong with heterosexual married parents, but because they’re just a small part of a very big world. Today one in four kids under 18 is being raised in a home without a dad, whether because the child has a single mom or gay moms. Seventeen percent of custodial parents in America are single dads. And more than 115,000 gay couples in America have kids.

Events designed to include only one parent of a particular sex automatically cut out a huge swath of the kids public schools are designed to serve. And, keep in mind we’re not talking about events that are necessary to a child’s education. This isn’t a geometry lecture or a read-a-thon. Daddy-daughter dances have nothing to do with educating children, and thus could easily be cut or adapted.”

In a world where parents board flights for guilt trips everyday while they balance keeping up with their kids’ school progress, work, and keeping food on the table and clothes on their back, a daddy daughter dance is the last thing I’m tripping about. In fact, I’ll admit I embrace events that in some way highlight and honor the special relationships a parent has with their children because in our busy lives those things are sometimes what allow us to slow down and realize what really matters. Even in the event that I was a single parent, I would never knock a girl’s chance to dress up and enjoy a night celebrating her relationship with her father or furthermore any positive male influence in her life. Instead, I would talk to my her about how unique and special her life is because of the people she has in it, regardless of what any school or institution says. I think it’s healthy for kids to learn early that the world won’t always adjust according to your specific family situation and that those actions (or lack thereof) aren’t always meant to be offensive. When it comes to the family dynamics of any household, it’s not the school’s but the parent’s responsibility first to explain to their children why they have one mom, two dads, or even a parakeet and a pet snake and how that works or doesn’t work for that household.

Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a  passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

The post Are Daddy Daughter Dances Offensive to Single Mothers? appeared first on MadameNoire.

Hunter Zion Bell. So in love with our little man ❤️❤️❤️@josiahbell

A post shared by Jurnee Smollett Bell (@jurneebell) on Nov 15, 2016 at 4:47pm PST

Back in November, Jurnee Smollett-Bell and her husband Josiah Bell welcomed their first child together, an adorable baby boy named Hunter Zion.

While the family has taken photos together, Smollet-Bell finally shared a photo of Hunter’s face on Friday (April 7). “My fellas. So in love… they make my heart explode,” the Underground actress captioned the adorable photo.

✨✨My fellas. So in love…they make my heart explode " class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />❤❤❤✨✨@josiahbell #HunterZionBell

A post shared by Jurnee Smollett Bell (@jurneebell) on Apr 7, 2017 at 5:25pm PDT

Aren’t they such a beautiful family?

The post Jurnee Smollett-Bell Shares First-Ever Photo Of Her Son appeared first on MadameNoire.