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Here’s Why You Should Avoid Under Eye Concealer And Setting Powder

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applying makeup

As much as we love makeup and it’s transformative powers (make your nose look chiseled by contouring or fake fuller brows with a whisk of a pencil), sometimes it works against us. And by work against us, we mean against the clock. Instead of giving us a radiant and youthful glow, makeup can actually age you. Whether it’s doing a number on your skin’s texture or making fine lines more prominent, things can go array.

But as with most things, there’s a solution to combat it. In a recent article posted by Byrdie, Stephanie Koutikas, makeup artist and creative director at Mehron Makeup, detailed which products will age you dreadfully.

To begin, Koutikas warns to steer clear of tons of concealing under the eyes. “Too much coverage can bring an aging appearance to the skin and can highlight wrinkles and lines in this delicate area. Prep the skin with a moisturizing eye cream, and keep the touch light.” As much as we all want to achieve a beat face, less is actually more in the case. And if you want a brighter look, opt for a bold lip color or add bronzer to your cheekbones or even the inner ducts of your eyes to make them pop.

Koutikas also swears by avoiding setting powder, explaining that with aging skin, it’s best to keep it dewy and glowing. “Most face powders tend to magnify lines in the skin, aging us. If you can’t give up powder, try switching to a sheer translucent powder or a mineral-based one.”

Wondering which products will turn back the clock? Head over to Byrdie to read the full article.

 

 

The post Here’s Why You Should Avoid Under Eye Concealer And Setting Powder appeared first on MadameNoire.


Kehlani’s Exclusive Collaboration With Makeup Forever Is Now Available

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“I used to go into Sephora and try on makeup just to walk out cuz I couldn’t afford it,” R&B songstress Kehlani captioned a photo taken at a meet and greet at Toronto’s Eaton Centre Sephora. The event? The launch of KEHLANIxAQUAXL, her exclusive collaboration with popular cosmetics brand Makeup Forever. “To walk in and see my face, my product with @makeupforeverofficial is a blessing,” she concluded.

The collaboration, which was initially announced at the end of April with a cool video featuring Kehlani’s song “Undercover,” Ink Liners (a felt-tipped liquid eyeliner) and Color Paints (a cream eyeshadow). Both products are said to be “extra long-lasting” and waterproof.

You can now shop Kehlani’s exclusive Ink Liner and Color Paint at Sephora.

The post Kehlani’s Exclusive Collaboration With Makeup Forever Is Now Available appeared first on MadameNoire.

ColourPop Just Dropped 16 New Eyeshadows You’ll Want To Rock This Season

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Summer Singles are now LIVE! Get your hands on this Summer’s hottest trend! ☀️🌊 #summersingleandreadytomingle

A post shared by ColourPop Cosmetics (@colourpopcosmetics) on

Cult cosmetics shop ColourPop has been making tons of buzz around the web with thanks to their affordable prices, quality products, and cool collaborations with the likes of Karrueche Tran and Hello Kitty. Although the self-proclaimed “beauty for cool kids” brand is cleaning house for the new season by discontinuing over 50 of its products, they’ve got lots of new goodies to gift customers for the summer.

On Friday (June 9), ColourPop launched a new collection of 12 Pressed Powder Shadows and four Super Shock Shadows. Vibrantly pigmented, each shadow is an ode to mermaid makeup, and of course, the current season synonymous with beaches, bathing suits, and mimosas. With hues ranging from the bronze-y “Beach Blanket” to aqua-toned “Muscle Beach,” the shadows also boast of shimmery, metallic looks to matte.

Basically, there’s a shade for every mood and occasion to last you the season. Take a look at all of ColourPop’s new offerings here, with a ridiculously reasonable price tag of $5 or less.

 

The post ColourPop Just Dropped 16 New Eyeshadows You’ll Want To Rock This Season appeared first on MadameNoire.

“I Actually Wasn’t Being Insincere” A Clean And Sober Amanda Bynes Speaks On That Infamous Drake Request

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clean and sober amanda bynes

In a world where it seems like we’re hashtagging “RIP” way too frequently, it’s nice to see when a child star is able to turn their lives around after struggling through substance abuse and other harmful behavior. All That actress Amanda Bynes recently made an appearance on Hollyscoop where she updated fans on what she’s been up to lately, including fashion design, feeding the homeless and still wanting Drake to donate a healthy portion of “papiconda” into her life.

Bynes says when she infamously tweeted that she wanted the “Hotline Bling” rapper to “murder her vagina” in 2013, she actually meant every word:

“I actually wasn’t being insincere.”

“I was, like, saying ‘Murder my vagina.’ I was serious, but I was also on drugs. That was my way of saying, ‘Let’s do it, man!’ But I was, like, on drugs and trying to be hilarious.”

She also shed some light on her interesting fashion choices at the time of micro-dermal piercings and blunt bangs, noting that she was inspired by none other than reality star, Blac Chyna:

“I stole her look.”

“I was getting the microdermals in my cheeks because she had them. I thought they looked super hot on her. I never said she stole my look. I’m a fan of hers.”

Bynes also revealed that she was appreciative of the support that fellow Nickelodeon alum sent her way during a dark time, noting that Nick Cannon referred to her as “family”. She reveals that she’s been sober for three years and attending fashion school in addition to spinning classes. She also mentioned that she hopes to act again in the near future.

Between Miley Cyrus saying she’s over hip-hop and now Amanda Bynes looking like a grown up version of her former childhood self, let me find out 2017 is the year these blonde Disney stars return back to their roots. You can check out Bynes’ interview with Diana Madison below:

The post “I Actually Wasn’t Being Insincere” A Clean And Sober Amanda Bynes Speaks On That Infamous Drake Request appeared first on MadameNoire.

Did Y’all See? Keisha Knight Pulliam Stand By Cosby And Bill Maher Use The N-Word?

Will Mahershala Ali and Lupita Nyong’o Bring Adult Content to 4:44?

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Since ads went up in New York and Los Angeles earlier this week, fans have wondered exactly what is “4:44” and what does it have to do with Tidal? Rumors included a new album from the streaming service’s lead investor, Jay-Z, but now a clip has appeared that gives the impression that it may not have much to do with the “Watch The Throne” rapper’s catalog at all.

HYPEBEAST reports that fans were teased with more details about the triple digits during Wednesday’s broadcast of the NBA Game 3 Finals. A clip aired that didn’t give much more detail except that “4:44” is a collaboration between Tidal and Sprint. The one-minute clip features a shirtless Ali boxing with Danny Glover appearing as his couch. Nyong’o doesn’t even appear, but her name is featured in the credits to inform fans that at some point the Black Panther star will have some screen time.

No other details have been revealed except that the visual has a rating of NC-17. Many are speculating the meaning behind “4:44” noting the Carter family’s fondness of the number with Jay-Z’s birthday being on December 4th and Bey’s on September 4th and the couple rocking matching “IV” tattoos on their fingers.

I’m all here for a sweaty Mahershala but the NC-17 rating is making me wonder exactly what the folks over at Tidal have up their sleeves. You can take a peek at the clip below:

The post Will Mahershala Ali and Lupita Nyong’o Bring Adult Content to 4:44? appeared first on MadameNoire.

“I Can’t Afford Underground” OWN Network Confirms It Will Not Be Saving WGN Series

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own network passes on underground

Many fans were still keeping hope alive for WGN’s Underground series, when creator John Legend announced that the show would find a new home despite being cancelled after two seasons. BET, Hulu and OWN were a few of the networks that were mentioned in talks of a second home for the series. Unfortunately, Oprah Winfrey says OWN is going to have to pass on the show which centered around the Underground Railroad in Antebellum Georgia. But why was it a “No,” from the network behind successful series like Queen Sugar and Greenleaf? Winfrey herself expressed that it just costs too much. Refinery 29 reports Winfrey addressed several journalists earlier this week to explain her reasoning:

“I can’t afford Underground.”

“It costs twice as much to make as Queen Sugar. As a matter of fact, my dear friend John Legend called me personally and asked me about it, but we’d already been talking about how we could make it work […] it’s like $5 million an episode, so we can’t afford it. It’s not cheap, I think because it’s a period piece.”

Winfrey also expressed that she had to take into consideration that OWN is still a relatively young network, and that despite trending on Twitter on multiple occasions, the show’s ratings just didn’t justify its expense:

“We really tried to make it work.”

“I wanted to make it work because I think it’s a good show. I wanted to be able to save that show, but it did not make good business sense for me.”

Any other takers? Deadline reports that a last-ditch effort may be made at BET which is considered a sensible home for the show due to its standing within the black community and commitment to shedding light on African-American culture and notable figures within black history. Underground may seek a deal similar to shows like Nashville which found a home on CMT and a streaming window on Hulu after being cancelled by the ABC network.

Underground was dropped by WGN recently when the network was bought by Sinclair Broadcast Group, who seek to go in a different direction. We’re rooting for the series, but if cancellations of shows like this and Netflix’s The Get Down are any indication, it’s that breaking down history carries a hefty price tag.

The post “I Can’t Afford Underground” OWN Network Confirms It Will Not Be Saving WGN Series appeared first on MadameNoire.

Niecy Nash And Karrueche Tran Star In Mary J. Blige’s “Strength of A Woman” Video

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After releasing her highly-anticipated 13th studio album, Mary J. Blige has dropped a new video for the self-titled song “Strength of a Woman.”
While the “Queen of Hip-Hop Soul” usually rocks her music video solo, except for dancers or male eye candy, she called on the cast of TNT’s new series Claws.
Focused on five manicurists (played by Niecy Nash, Carrie Preston, Jenn Lyon, Judy Reyes and Karrueche Tran) working at a Central Florida nail salon, Claws celebrates empowered women as they navigate their professional and intimate lives.
The video features clips from Claws, drawing a correlation between the show’s narrative and the emotions expressed by Blige.
“The inspiration for ‘Strength of a Woman’ came from my life. It came from some very heavy trials and hardships through my life that I had to come through,” said Mary J. Blige of the song. “There are a lot of similar themes in the show ‘Claws’. They’re in some heavy, sticky, nasty situations but that is what survival is about.“
Press play on the video above and get into Mary J. Blige’s new video.

 

The post Niecy Nash And Karrueche Tran Star In Mary J. Blige’s “Strength of A Woman” Video appeared first on MadameNoire.


You Can Cop Miss USA Kára McCullough’s Beauty Must-Haves For Under $40

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If you haven’t already realized, less is more. Especially when it comes to your beauty routine. And who better than Miss USA winner Kára McCullough to prove it?

While pageant makeup is notoriously known for being over-the-top, McCullough’s approach to beauty is refreshingly natural.  “You know I’m a minimalist. I used to use so much crap in my hair,” she told ESSENCE in a recent interview.

When she took the stage at this year’s pageant she turned heads, standing out as the only contestant who wore their natural curls instead of rocking silky smooth blowouts. But even in embracing her natural self, McCullough shared with Refinery 29 that she was initially nervous about the reaction she would get, saying,”I didn’t know if people were going to accept it…if anyone was going to be receptive to it at all.”

After taking a leap of faith that viewers and judges would celebrate her decision and winning the crown, McCullough proudly rocks her curls without hesitation. And for those curly gals out there wondering what she uses to get the perfect coils, she also revealed in her interview the products and they’re under $40.

“This Moroccan Oil Curl Defining Cream ($13, sephora.com); I love that. And I also have Chi Biosilk ($20, jcpenney.com), she continued. “And when it came to on stage presence, I always had a teasing comb or brush, to get the roots really good. And just some holding spray. That’s what really helped me keep the hair bigger, so it didn’t look like it was flat on stage.”

When it comes to makeup, McCullough shared that she’s still learning how to achieve a beat face. “I’m very hard on myself,” she continued. I’ll see these looks; especially these editorial looks and I’m like, ‘oh my gosh, I want to look like that.’

Well, there’s always YouTube for that. But in the meantime, head over to Essence to see the full story and get the 411 on McCullough’s beauty must-haves.

 

 

The post You Can Cop Miss USA Kára McCullough’s Beauty Must-Haves For Under $40 appeared first on MadameNoire.

Shine In A Good Way This Summer With Maybelline’s New Master Chrome Metallic Highlighter

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Shiny skin doesn’t have to be a negative thing this season thanks to Maybelline.

The popular makeup and cosmetics recently released Maybelline Master Chrome Highlighter, a highlighter that will give you the radiant glow you once baked in the sun for hours to get. Or even cashed out tons of dollars for.

So, how does this one compare to others? Master Chrome is only $10 and gives you a chrome finish similar to the strobing method that ladies were going crazy over earlier this year.

Need proof? The ladies over at Allure gave Maybelline Master Chrome Highlighter a test drive and we’d like to say it very, very well.

The post Shine In A Good Way This Summer With Maybelline’s New Master Chrome Metallic Highlighter appeared first on MadameNoire.

Clinique Introduces Limited-Edition Collection With Interior Designer Jonathan Adler

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If you’re into interior design, then you’ve surely heard of Jonathan Adler. Known for his coveted modern home furnishings, legacy beauty brand Clinique teamed up with Adler for a new limited-edition collection.

The Clinique x Jonathan Adler Collection is all about bringing the interior designer’s eye for all things glam to life through the brand’s best-selling makeup products like its  Lip PopsLid Pops and Cheek Pops. But to put a twist on things, the color palette is inspired by Adler’s favorite seaside destinations from Palm Beach to Capri to Santorini.

“I wanted the collection to be bright, bold and fresh, and make women feel more glamorous,” Adler said of the collaboration.

In addition to makeup, the collaboration also offers a range of Clinique’s beauty tools, like a limited-edition geometric-printed version of its highly coveted Sonic cleansing brush (there’s a coordinating printed travel case that comes with it, too ); a silver-and-pink brush collection for bomb application; and a compact Chic Color Kit featuring 13 of Clinique’s All About Shadow eyeshadow shades.

The Clinique x Jonathan Adler Collection is now available. Hurry before it sells out because it definitely will.

The post Clinique Introduces Limited-Edition Collection With Interior Designer Jonathan Adler appeared first on MadameNoire.

Could Marijuana Help Lessen Your Period Cramps?

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cyclic vomiting syndrome, stomach ache, cramps

Instead of praying for dear life and popping Midol at an unprecedented rate when it’s that time of the month, there’s a new method on the market. And it’s starting in New York.

According to CBS News, “The New York State Assembly is considering a bill to add dysmenorrhea — the medical name for menstrual cramps — to the list of conditions for which doctors can legally authorize a patient to use medical marijuana.”

Newsweek also reported that under this state law, those only with the specific medical conditions can access the medical marijuana in New York. The condition of menstrual cramps joins cancer, HIV and multiple sclerosis.

New York State Assemblywoman Linda Rosenthal wrote in the bill that severe cases of dysmenorrhea can be “debilitating,” which we all know as women is 100 percent true.

While the bill is still going through legislative rulings, many are supporting the fact that medical marijuana can alleviate many of the painful effects of dysmenorrhea. Actress Whoopi Goldberg, who sells a line of medical marijuana products specifically for period pain, is also in support of the bill.

But the one question everyone has is will and does it actually work? Dr. Charles Pollack, an emergency-medicine physician at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia and the director of the university’s Lambert Center for the Study of Medicinal Cannabis and Hemp, shared that while there hasn’t been any solid studies showing a benefit from using marijuana for menstrual cramps,  “it’s not out of the realm of the possible.”

Ladies, what do you think? Would you give medical marijuana a try if it’s healing powers were proven effective?

 

The post Could Marijuana Help Lessen Your Period Cramps? appeared first on MadameNoire.

Mathew Knowles Shares What He Thinks Beyoncé’s Weakness Is

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Mathew Knowles, the father of Beyoncé and Solange, recently spoke at Howard University, dishing on  his esteemed behind-the-scenes career. Knowles also revealed of his present and former artists’ weakness, in which Beyoncé’s named notably popped up.

“Everybody thinks that they’re the greatest and they should,” he said. “We as label executives, we have to know the limitations of the artists. I can tell you all my artists, the limitations.”

Knowles went on to use his own daughters as examples. In particular, he shared that Queen Bey herself isn’t a natural public speaker. In contrast, he explained that Solange, who has booked many speaking gigs, is the better orator.

“See, I would never have Beyoncé up here public speaking,” he continued. “She’s not good at it. Solange was just at Yale. She’s incredible at it. But I know all of my artists’ [weaknesses]. They all have weaknesses.”

Watch the clip below.

 

 

The post Mathew Knowles Shares What He Thinks Beyoncé’s Weakness Is appeared first on MadameNoire.

Therapy Isn’t Just For “Crazy” People

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[caption id="attachment_833113" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/High angle view of female patient conversing with psychologist in clinic[/caption] Millennials may be the first generation that is comfortable not only going to therapy but also admitting they go to therapy, and even talking openly about it. If you watch some of the most popular standup comics today, you’ll see that a lot of them speak about their adventures on the psychoanalyst’s couch, having someone take notes on their obsessions, odd behaviors, and bad dates. But while millennials may be mostly comfortable with the idea of therapy, they still come from a generation who may have been more private about it. And their parents came from a generation that absolutely did not talk about going to therapy, and thought it was mostly reserved for people who were dysfunctional. Those past generations may still be affecting you, if you feel insecure about seeing a therapist. But here is why therapy isn’t just for “crazy” people. [caption id="attachment_701574" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You never know what might come up

Most people go into therapy thinking, “I don’t need therapy” and then most come out thinking, “I can’t believe I almost didn’t go to therapy.” A lot of us are so busy that we don’t even realize we are discontent with a certain relationship in our life or experiencing some negative emotions that we ignore. But all of these things slow us down and actually dictate our decisions and how we experience life. If you’re given a little space to let those negative emotions come up, you’ll be amazed at what you find. [caption id="attachment_716083" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

It can help with your career

Whether you’re in the wrong industry, not sure what you want to do, feeling stuck in your position, or feeling afraid to go after what you want, therapy can help. You may not even realize you’re feeling those things in your work because other, unresolved matters are blocking you from seeing it. But therapy can leave you feeling very clear on what you need to do next in your profession. [caption id="attachment_720938" align="alignleft" width="414"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Your problems matter

Many people resist therapy because they believe it’s self-indulgent. You’ll often hear people say things like, “There are children starving in third world countries—what do I have to complain about?” But problems of every nature, from physical health to mental health, deserve to be treated. In fact, it’s the responsibility of people like you to strengthen your mind and emotions so that you can go out in the world, do great things, and help people who you perceive to have graver problems. You have the resources to better yourself, so use them. [caption id="attachment_697853" align="alignleft" width="468"] Shutterstock.com/woman going crazy[/caption]

Everyone is a little “crazy”

Okay, so the title of this article is a lie. Perhaps therapy is just for crazy people because everybody’s a little crazy. The term crazy is just simply misused. But let’s put it this way: everybody has habits they wish they could break, feels out of control and lost sometimes, and faces emotions they’re afraid of. If that makes someone crazy, then we’re all a little crazy and could benefit from a little therapy. [caption id="attachment_712167" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You’ll feel more in control

Speaking of feeling out of control, you’ll feel far more in control of your life after you’ve spent some time in therapy. Do you ever feel like you do or say something you regret, and you don’t know where that came from? At the time, you could not stop the behavior from coming out, but later, in retrospect, you think, “That wasn’t me.” That was you—just parts of you that you have yet to acknowledge. A therapist can help you with that, so you begin to feel more in control of your actions. When you stop repressing those unattractive or unproductive parts of your mind, you can get a handle on them. [caption id="attachment_704630" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You’ll stop bad relationship patterns

Maybe you think, “Hey, it’s not like I’m in an abusive relationship or date married men.” But bad relationship patterns stem beyond the blatant ones we see in soap operas. If you’ve struggled to find a satisfying relationship—one in which you feel both safe and invigorated—for your whole life, then you likely have some bad relationship patterns. You cannot see them clearly, but a therapist can help you spot them. [caption id="attachment_709851" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You can mend your relationship with your family

I’m not saying you and your family are suddenly going to see eye to eye on everything. In fact, maybe you aren’t supposed to—maybe your family really does have some unhealthy and unproductive ideas. Your therapist can help you work out all of that messy stuff, and help you find a way to interact with your family that allows you to still feel close to them, without allowing them to ruin your mood or self-esteem. [caption id="attachment_703763" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Some things need to be said out loud

As I said before, we are all very busy. We often only make room in our lives for problems and tasks that are written on a list, sent in an email, included in a memo or typed into a text. You likely have thousands of unexpressed thoughts and feelings every day. You need a designated space and time to let those out, so they don’t control you. [caption id="attachment_713452" align="alignleft" width="414"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’ll learn to self-analyze

Therapy can be kind of cool in the sense that the good therapists don’t just give you a fish; they teach you how to fish. In other words, they give you tools to start recognizing your own patterns and behaviors as they happen, and start connecting dots by yourself about your life. A good therapist will leave you, eventually, not even needing a therapist. [caption id="attachment_701294" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You may eat healthier

If you have unexpressed emotions, negative patterns, unhealthy relationships and many of the other items discussed on this list, then there is a very good chance they are affecting your eating habits. Emotional and mental distress often manifests itself in our eating patterns, whether that’s through binge eating, restrictive eating, obsessive calorie counting or other disordered eating. The issue may be mild, but therapy can help you feel liberated in the eating department. [caption id="attachment_607271" align="alignleft" width="462"] Corbis[/caption]

Your anxiety could decrease

Anxiety is often just the result of unexpressed emotions and negative thoughts that we allow to get the best of us. There is a good chance that you don’t need anxiety medication; you just need therapy.   [caption id="attachment_708390" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

The more you go, the more you get

The more you go to therapy, the more you get out of it. Therapy can be, in many ways, like a math class. Your therapist will teach you equations that show you how this thought plus this behavior tends to equal this result. Just like in a math class, you’ll learn to improve on and build upon those equations, and you’ll be able to analyze situations quicker in life. [caption id="attachment_708547" align="alignleft" width="621"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Everybody represses something

If you were ever a child, then you’ve repressed something. I know, I know—this is what therapy rejecters fear goes on in therapy. Just a lot of talking about your childhood. But the truth is, childhood is a strange time. We take in a lot of information and images, and while we aren’t yet capable of understanding them, they can impact us deeply, and shape our behaviors into adulthood. Unless you were an emotional genius at the age of 4, then you likely have some repressed childhood issues. [caption id="attachment_609049" align="alignleft" width="415"] Shutterstock[/caption]

It’s better to break down there than elsewhere

If you don’t go to therapy, you truly could end up having a breakdown in the middle of an important meeting, or on a first date, or at the altar of your wedding. High tension moments in life tend to usher in breakdowns if we have repressed stuff. But if you get that out in therapy, it won’t bite you in the butt in real life. [caption id="attachment_220080" align="alignleft" width="500"]"Couple having coffee pf" Shutterstock.com[/caption]

You’ll appreciate open people

You’ll really grow to appreciate other people who have clearly gone to therapy and are dedicated to having a healthy mind and emotional life. You’ll be drawn to emotionally open and communicative people, which will make all of your relationships feel richer.

The post Therapy Isn’t Just For “Crazy” People appeared first on MadameNoire.

Realities Of Living Together, Unmarried, For A Long Time

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[caption id="attachment_833118" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/Beautiful young Afro American couple is making selfie using a smart phone and smiling while lying in bed at home[/caption] Today it’s quite common for couples to live together before getting married. In fact, over the last 50 years, the incidence of couples living together before tying the knot has increased by 900 percent. You read that correctly. It’s common that couples live together for a few years before saying, “I do” so they can sample before they buy, and see how they do in close quarters, sharing bills, responsibilities, and space. But if you look around, you’ll find a lot of your couple friends get married after a few years of cohabitation. But then there are those couples who, even though things are going great, don’t get married. And yet they keep living together, for years, and years, and years…Hey, it’s their prerogative! If you are one of these couples, then you know about the funny realities of living together for a long time without getting married.   [caption id="attachment_717848" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

People mention it a lot

Your friends seem to know exactly how long you’ve lived together, down to the week. Any time the subject comes up they become little investigators asking, “Didn’t you move in together five years and 3 and a half months ago? And weren’t you together for 14 months before that?” You get it; according to their math, you should be married by now. [caption id="attachment_608722" align="alignleft" width="436"] Corbis[/caption]

Some people think you eloped

People often wonder if you and your partner just secretly eloped and carried on with your lives without mentioning it. Some friends just can’t believe you’d live together this long without getting married, so they think you must have pulled some trick. [caption id="attachment_714821" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

People forget you aren’t married

People will start to refer to you as your partner’s wife and him as your husband. Or they’ll say things like, “You’re one of our best married friend couples.” After you’ve lived together for a while, your friends’ brains reject the fact that you aren’t married.     [caption id="attachment_709772" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

People still think they can crash

You and your partner don’t get nearly as much respect or privacy as your married friends do. If a drunk friend needs a place to crash or a heartbroken one needs a place to stay after a breakup, you’re the first couple they go to because they don’t want to bother their married friends.   [caption id="attachment_697220" align="alignleft" width="468"] Shutterstock.com/Candlelight dinner[/caption]

There’s pressure on anniversaries

When an anniversary, birthday, Valentine’s Day or major milestone comes along, everybody has eyes on the two of you, wondering if this will be the day your partner pops the question.       [caption id="attachment_612727" align="alignleft" width="420"] Corbis Images[/caption]

You joke about it and shrug it off

You and your partner have started making jokes about getting married—coming up with far-fetched, absurd wedding ideas. It’s really just a point of humor for you two at this point. And after laughing about it for a few minutes, you’ll get back to watching Netflix like you were just talking about the weather.   [caption id="attachment_701588" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Your Venmo transactions are ridiculous

Your Venmo history consists entirely of transactions between you and your partner. You pay each other back and forth, all day, for using one another’s Amazon account, paying for the toilet paper, and covering the utility bill. People often ask, “Why don’t you just join accounts?” [caption id="attachment_698602" align="alignleft" width="469"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Some people call you Mrs. and you don’t correct them

Some neighbors, baristas, and servers at your favorite restaurant call you Mr. and Mrs. so-and-so and you don’t have the energy to correct them. So you’ve allowed the guy who makes your coffee to think you just don’t like wearing a wedding ring…for years.   [caption id="attachment_617902" align="alignleft" width="420"] Corbis[/caption]

Your parents withhold gifts

Your parents start mentioning things you could use for your apartment, and tag on things like, “Well, that could be a nice wedding gift some day” or “Write that down and put it on your registry.”         [caption id="attachment_616901" align="alignleft" width="378"] Corbis Images[/caption]

Separate bedrooms at your parents’

When you and your partner visit your parents, they still make the two of you sleep in separate bedrooms. And you’re thinking, “Hello! We live together!” But that doesn’t cut it with them (possibly because they’re trying to make you feel like an illegitimate couple).     [caption id="attachment_706179" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Playing pretend for conservatives

You have some family members, colleagues and family friends who simply can’t accept when a couple lives together before marriage. For the sake of keeping the peace, you’ve just told these people that you and your partner have been married for years.     [caption id="attachment_611081" align="alignleft" width="423"] Corbis Images[/caption]

People question your commitment

Some people ask you, “How do you know your partner is committed to you if he hasn’t proposed to you?” to which you say, “He packed up all of his things, left his last place, apartment hunted and signed a lease with me. That takes a lot more commitment than buying a ring does.” [caption id="attachment_705802" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

When you send out announcements

Every time you ask someone for their address so you can send them an invitation to your birthday party, your holiday party, your promotion party or any event, they ask, “Is it your wedding invitation?!” You have to awkwardly say, “No. It is not. It’s to celebrate our new puppy.” [caption id="attachment_704584" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Your parents’ shame

Your parents exhibit a little shame around the fact that you live with your partner but are not married. They may try to cover it up, but when people ask if you’re married they clearly let out a large sigh before saying, “No. But they’ve lived together for a long time.”     [caption id="attachment_617614" align="alignleft" width="420"] Corbis[/caption]

You stop caring about a big wedding

You get to a point when you’ve watching all of your friends go through the stress and financial burden of planning enormous weddings, so they’ve lost their allure to you. If you are going to get married, you will probably keep it small now.

The post Realities Of Living Together, Unmarried, For A Long Time appeared first on MadameNoire.


Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number? Depression And Turning 30

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Depression is a very common diagnosis and a real challenge for many people- especially for women who are afraid of turning 30.

“Quarterlife crises don’t happen literally a quarter of the way through your life,” Dr. Oliver Robinson, of the University of Greenwich in London, told The Guardian. “They occur a quarter of your way through adulthood, in the period between 25 and 35, although they cluster around 30.”

As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addiction Specialist, Shamanda Burton has seen thousands of patients who feel “stuck” or unhappy about entering this third decade of life. Here is her take on how to combat the fear of turning 30 and walk into this era with confidence.

Madame Noire (MN): What is it about turning 30 that makes women freak out?

Shamanda Burston (SB): Turning 30 is a very pivotal year for most women. By the age of 30 most women are married, have children, and have settled in their careers. Society has created a timeline that pressures women into believing we must have everything figured out and accomplished by this age. From a psychological perspective, women in their early twenties to middle thirties are in the Intimacy vs. Isolation stage of development. During this time, women are either focused on significant relationships, i.e family, companionship, marriage, or choose to focus on career and “singledom.” Choosing the latter can be considered failure to some and create a sense of panic in women turning 30.

MN: How does our culture and what we see on social media affect our perception of our own lives?

SB: This is the generation of social media and technology. Our lives can be crafted and presented in whichever way we decide to filter it via social media platforms. The idea of perfection is a façade and disillusionment. In our culture we tend to look to our female peers for validation and sense of self. Because most people tend to post the good aspects of their lives, many are left feeling a sense of lack and failure in comparison.

MN: What are some ways to combat self-loathing depression?

SB: The symptoms of depression such as an almost daily depressed mood, low energy, feeling helpless/hopeless and even experiencing suicidal ideation can be debilitating. A self-loathing mindset added to depressive symptoms worsens one’s mental health. Someone whom is self-loathing struggles to find the good in themselves. Effectively combating self-loathing depression starts with identifying triggers or causes of depressive episodes, daily positive affirmations via journaling/writing, engaging with supportive family and friends, and of course engaging in counseling to address underlying issues.

MN:  How do you know if your mid-life crisis is more severe than just feeling “down”?

SB: There appears to be a thin line between feeling “down” and the dreaded mid-life crisis. First, a crisis is subjective and defined as “a time of intense difficulty, trouble or danger.” According to research, women experience mid-life crises between the ages of 35-44. During a mid-life crisis, women tend to feel a lack of purpose and direction, a desire and need to change aspects of themselves, like lose weight, change hair color, change careers and impulsively quit jobs, etc. Mid-life crises are typically triggered by significant life events such as aging, death of parents, children leaving for college, and/or divorce. A mid-life crisis becomes more than a normal life transition period when one begins to experience depressive symptoms including extreme change in mood, eating patterns, loss of weight, decreased energy, and especially suicidal ideation.

MN: It seems the stigma is disappearing and mental health  awareness in the Black community is becoming more acceptable to talk about openly. What do you think has caused this shift?

SB: Increasingly, our culture is becoming more cognizant and aware of how life changes and challenges can affect our mental and physical health. Seeking professional help via therapy is a sign of strength and self-love. We deserve to live our best life! My goal is to always “help people, help themselves.”

Shamanda Burston is global entrepreneur who inspires every woman with the simple message of “stay encouraged”. You can follow her on Instagram @shamndaburston.

The post Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number? Depression And Turning 30 appeared first on MadameNoire.

How Your Environment Affects What You Eat

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[caption id="attachment_833122" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/People Eat Food Meal Restaurant[/caption] Do you have that one restaurant that you always walk out of over-stuffed? Each time you go in there, you seem to overeat, and you don’t even realize it while it’s happening. You don’t even necessarily order (what you believe to be) unhealthy items there, but you just can’t seem to leave comfortably full. Then you have places you always leave hungry, which is frustrating in its own right since you paid good money to dine there. How did you lose touch with your stomach in those places, and not notice that you were stuffed to the gills, or not quite yet satisfied? It could have been the environment since that’s the one thing that likely stays the same. Your mood and hunger level walking in may change, but the place won’t. Here is how your environment affects what you eat. [caption id="attachment_824457" align="alignleft" width="600"] Cuisine Culinary Buffet Dinner Catering Dining Food Celebration Party Concept. Group of people in all you can eat catering buffet food indoor in luxury restaurant with meat and vegetables.[/caption]

The buffet layout

When you first walk into any grab-all environment, like a close-out sale or a buffet, your eyes are far less discerning. Everything looks like a good idea because it’s cheap, or all included. If the buffet sets the cheesy potatoes and pot roast towards the front of the line, you’ll likely eat more of this than the salads simply because the salads come later, but your plate is already full. [caption id="attachment_700707" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

The temperature

If you’re cold, you won’t want salad, gazpacho soup or a sandwich—you’ll want French onion soup, a roast, mashed potatoes, and other items that tend to cost more, and be heavier. That’s why some restaurants crank up the AC. Bring a heavy sweater to those venues, so you can accurately assess your hunger.     [caption id="attachment_607563" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Shutterstock[/caption]

The entertainment

If everyone is eating snacks throughout a movie, you may feel pretty good about yourself if you simply eat something for the first half hour of the movie. But if you weren’t at a movie, you wouldn’t have been munching on candy and popcorn at that time at all. [caption id="attachment_706513" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

The relative choices

If everything is unhealthy, then the less evil item looks healthy. In other words, if you’re staring down a menu that has seven steak options, tons of pasta and just one salad, you may feel pretty good about yourself for getting the pasta because it was technically healthier than the steak. But was it really healthy? [caption id="attachment_619435" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Dark, romantic settings

Dark, romantic settings with blood-like colors of maroon and dark purple bring out our primal side and make us crave things like steak, potatoes, and dark chocolate. Ordering a kale salad when your only light is coming from a dripping red candle feels wrong, doesn’t it? [caption id="attachment_705378" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

The outdoors

When you dine outdoors, you feel more connected to nature and may find yourself wanting to eat more things that come directly from nature. That’s why you stuff your picnic basket with fresh fruit and vegetables, cheese and eggs.       [caption id="attachment_702085" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]  

The shape of the table

Long rectangular tables with sharp edges make us think of structure, rigidity, and limitations. This could cause you to order something healthier, and pay very close attention to how much you eat. Meanwhile, round tables feel more social, welcoming and warm, and may encourage you to eat more. [caption id="attachment_615103" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

The size of the table

If you’re sitting closer to your companions, you get a closer look at what they are eating and how much they are eating. Sitting close together at a small table could make it so that what your friends are eating influences what you eat more than if you were spread out at a large table. [caption id="attachment_714177" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Fast-paced music

Fast-paced music makes you want to do everything fast! That’s why you buy a lot of clothing in stores pumping out house music fit for Coachella and why you run on the treadmill longer listening to party tunes. It’s also why you eat too quickly at some restaurants.     [caption id="attachment_704227" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Your dining companions

Your friends have a big influence on you. If everybody is on their cheat day and throwing caution to the wind, you’ll have a hard time sticking to your plan of ordering half a sandwich and a salad. It almost feels rude not to partake in the cheesy bread ordered for the table.     [caption id="attachment_616985" align="alignleft" width="406"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Bar settings

Bar settings are naturally indulgent places. People at bars are already consuming something they don’t nutritionally need—alcohol—so they may put all rules aside for the day and consume other things they don’t need, like nachos and fries.       [caption id="attachment_616487" align="alignleft" width="467"] Corbis Images[/caption]

Simple, clean décor

Simple, clean décor, like long, white, picnic-style benches and walls with little patterns can make you feel light and airy—a feeling you don’t want to ruin with a heavy stew or a big plate of pasta.         [caption id="attachment_703400" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Eating solo

If you eat alone, you’ll probably eat a little more than you would if you ate with friends. This is because when we eat alone, we tend to turn on the television or read a book, and then the same psychology of the movie theater sets in.       [caption id="attachment_607975" align="alignleft" width="419"]No Love On Tinder Shutterstock[/caption]

Your access to Instagram

When you scroll through your Instagram feed, it looks like everybody else is indulging, so why shouldn’t you! Keep in mind that people only post the photos of their most decadent dishes. Your friends don’t always eat like that, but a photo of their salmon and brown rice wouldn’t bring in the “Likes.”   [caption id="attachment_707662" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Ingredient décor

Bundles of pasta hanging from the ceiling and wreaths of dried tomatoes make you feel like you’re connected to something pure and natural when you order the spaghetti and meatballs. But it’s still spaghetti and meatballs.

The post How Your Environment Affects What You Eat appeared first on MadameNoire.

Don’t Miss Sasha Obama’s Sweet Sixteen Slay

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WENN

While the Obamas are living their life a bit more out of the limelight than they have been in the past eight years, that still doesn’t stop us from catching the occasional and much appreciated update on their lives.

This past weekend, it was just the tiniest sneak peek of youngest daughter Sasha Obama’s 16th birthday celebration.

Sasha, whose real name is Natasha by the way, turned 16 this past Saturday, June 10 and she looked amazing in her birthday fit, a simple but chic, spaghetti-strapped red dress.


Yes! to the dress, the hair and the makeup. If only all of us could look this timeless on our sixteenth birthday. I don’t remember what I wore, but I can guarantee it was nowhere near this fly. And not just because I didn’t have the money or access. I doubt I would have picked a look that would likely still work a decade from now.

As far as her parents, love to see this cheesy grin on her dad’s face. And I have to admit that Sasha looks almost exactly like her mother to me. Just beautiful.

Apparently, she’s friends with the daughter of “Real Housewives of Potomac” star Charrisse Jackson-Jordan. The festivities included a photo booth where Sasha posed for a silly picture or two with her friends.

#sashaobama is the best! Cameron really need to get her number!!!

A post shared by Tee Lo (@tee_lo_lo) on


Love it!

The post Don’t Miss Sasha Obama’s Sweet Sixteen Slay appeared first on MadameNoire.

“You Choose To Be Tacky”: Chilli Gives Charlamagne Tha God A Piece Of Her Mind

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If you know anything about Charlamagne tha god, then you know that he’s known for holding the feet of a whole host of celebrities to the fire. Sometimes it’s funny, but other times, it’s not. Often, his interrogations are aimed at women who appear on The Breakfast ClubHonestly, who could forget that Lil Mama interview?

However, he seems to be changing. But no matter how far he has come in his career and how much he’s realized that being real doesn’t mean you have to be a real jerk, some stars aren’t ready to forget. Like Chilli of TLC, who, for the record, is a friend of Lil Mama.

Chilli

She appeared alongside T-Boz on The Breakfast Club this morning, and while talking about TLC not holding a grudge against L.A. Reid and Pebbles, was confronted by Charlamagne for blocking him on social media. It was an interesting exchange, sometimes humorous (with Chilli calling him “Charlamean, not the god”), but tense at times as well.

Charlamagne: Chilli. You’ve still got me blocked. You’re a grudge holder, ok? [laughs]

Chilli: Because you’re mean.

Charlamagne: I am not!

Chilli: Yes you are.

Charlamagne: What did I do?

Chilli: I don’t know if you got beat up in school growing up or something, some attention you did not get. But it’s one thing — I mean, I’m just saying, you can kind of be funny with people and speak your mind or whatever, but it’s just tacky.

Charlamagne: I feel like you’re talking about the me from three, four years ago.

Chilli: No, I’m talking about the you today.

Charlamagne: We all grow and we evolve…Just because I say something you don’t agree with doesn’t mean I’m mean.

Chilli: It’s the way you say it. You choose to be tacky. You’re just like Wendy [Williams].

Charlamagne: We’re not the same.

Chilli: Yes you are. You’re like kindred spirits.

At that point, examples were brought up about comments Charlamagne may have made about obese people and other ways he can be seen as offensive at times. He stated that if he spent his life afraid to speak his mind, he would never get to say anything. But Chilli wasn’t buying it.

“But you know. I’m not buying it. Let’s move on to the next question,” she said. “Why are we even entertaining this? Because you know what you do and how you do it. I’m a find out why. I’m going to go back and interview some people…I’m going to go and find out where you grew up and who you grew up with. I’m going to get in touch with some family members and be like, ‘C’mon, give it to me.'”

Do you agree with Chilli? Do you think Charlamagne is too mean for his own good or has he moved past that? Was it hypocritical of Chilli to call him “mean” and “tacky,” but still appear on his show?

Check out their exchange below, starting at the 8:00-minute mark:

The post “You Choose To Be Tacky”: Chilli Gives Charlamagne Tha God A Piece Of Her Mind appeared first on MadameNoire.

Tiara Parker Says Family Hasn’t Spoken To Her Since She Survived Pulse Shooting And Cousin Didn’t

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A year ago today, 29-year-old Omar Mateen, who swore allegiance to the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, carried out a terrorist attack at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida. He entered the club, shooting and killing 49 people. He also injured 58 in the deadliest terror attack since the attacks on September 11 2001 and the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history. One of the injured was Tiara Parker, who was 21 at the time of the shooting.

Tiara Parker

She went to the nightclub on June 12, 2016 with her cousin Akrya Murray. Murray, 18, had just graduated from high school and was set to go to college with a full scholarship in the fall, according to her mother. She was excited to celebrate her success by going out with Parker. Sadly, she would end up being the youngest victim of the Pulse nightclub shooting. Murray managed to get out of the club safely when the shooting began, but when she didn’t see Parker, who ended up with a wound to her side, she ran back inside and was shot.

Days after the shooting, Parker, feeling survivor’s remorse, told NPR, “She came back for me, and I kind of wish she’d stayed outside.”

But on the one-year anniversary of the shooting, despite the horror of that night and everything she witnessed, Parker says she’s doing “really well” and is thankful to be alive.

“Orlando happened and it was sad what happened to everybody, but Orlando is not going to define me,” she told PEOPLE. “It was a major setback for me and my family, but I am doing really well. I feel better, I look better … I feel good.”

But the parents of Murray, Parker’s aunt and uncle, have ceased communication with her.

“It was really sad what happened to all of us that night, and I wish there was a way to go back and replay it, because I miss my cousin so much,” she said. “It was a very stressful time and now, my family has stopped talking to me.”

Parker told the magazine that ever since they found out that their daughter, with such a bright future ahead of her, didn’t survive, they’ve placed the blame on her. It’s a sad situation, but she doesn’t hold it against her family members.

“They had to find someone to be mad at,” she said, “and instead of the man who did it, they’re mad at me.”

But Parker is trying to move forward with life. She wants to “keep on pushing” and do so for Akrya Murray.

“I miss my cousin but at this point, I know she is in a much better place,” Parker said. “I am at peace with that. No one can harm her anymore, so why should I stress?”

The post Tiara Parker Says Family Hasn’t Spoken To Her Since She Survived Pulse Shooting And Cousin Didn’t appeared first on MadameNoire.

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