What Men Feel When Women Cheat

[caption id="attachment_824438" align="aligncenter" width="1068"]Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view. Bigstockphoto.com/Head shot of an African American male taken outdoors against a wall[/caption] Whether we like to admit it or not, men and women tend to derive different things from a relationship. It’s not uncommon for women to take on a more nurturing role (we've just evolved to do so) and for men to take on a more protective one. So, if we get different things out of relationships, then it’s only natural that when we’re cheated on, we feel like different things have been taken away from us, or that different parts of our personalities have been insulted. Being cheated on feels awful, no matter who you are, but men think about very different things when women cheat on them than women think about when men cheat. If you’re a woman who has cheated, and you want your partner back, it’s important for you to know what he’s going through. Here, men explain what it feels like when women cheat on them. [caption id="attachment_717909" align="alignleft" width="420"]Image may be NSFW.
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I wasted resources

If the man spent money on things for his partner—anything from rent to car payments to presents—he feels like an idiot because he wasted precious resources he worked really hard for on someone who was getting resources elsewhere.   [caption id="attachment_625713" align="alignleft" width="500"]Image may be NSFW.
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I failed

Since men don’t tend to think of women as cheaters as much as women think of men as cheaters, men are often totally shocked when women cheat. They’re so shocked that they take on some of the blame, assuming they failed as a partner and that’s what caused this. [caption id="attachment_718323" align="alignleft" width="415"]Image may be NSFW.
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I want to kill that guy

When women are cheated on, they usually feel like they want to kill their partner; when men are cheated on, they want to kill the guy their partner cheated with. Almost as if it’s his fault their partner cheated.   [caption id="attachment_707724" align="alignleft" width="420"]Image may be NSFW.
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I can’t go back in there

And by in, yes, I mean in. Men feel pretty territorial about their partner’s bodies, and once they know another man has been in there when only they should’ve been, it’s like…someone else slept in their bed or drove their precious car and it’s forever tainted. [caption id="attachment_704623" align="alignleft" width="420"]Image may be NSFW.
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I feel completely emasculated

While a woman can be cheated on and still know she is completely attractive and desirable, when a man is cheated on, he can feel stripped of his sex appeal.     [caption id="attachment_693930" align="alignleft" width="420"]Image may be NSFW.
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Other women will think something is wrong with me

Men often worry, when they’re cheated on, that if future potential partners hear a woman cheated on them, they’ll judge them. In other words, they’ll think other women will believe the cheater just found a flaw in this man. [caption id="attachment_704630" align="alignleft" width="420"]Image may be NSFW.
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I’ll never trust another woman again

Whereas women can usually separate the cheater from other men, and learn to identify certain character traits that go along with cheaters, men can be so scarred that they just see all women as cheaters after infidelity. [caption id="attachment_709038" align="alignleft" width="420"]Image may be NSFW.
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I want revenge on her

Women can often see that a man cheats due to his own insecurities or issues and that it wasn’t personal or intended to hurt her (even though it’s still inexcusable). Men, however, feel that it is very personal when a woman cheats and can seek revenge (which is why there are so many cases of men attacking and even killing their cheating partners). [caption id="attachment_623909" align="alignleft" width="500"]Image may be NSFW.
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I want revenge on women

Men can transfer their anger towards the cheater to all women and might go out into the world, looking to date someone new, just so they can start their own cheating patterns. [caption id="attachment_698969" align="alignleft" width="469"]Image may be NSFW.
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This is embarrassing

Men really do feel that when they’re cheated on, that is a reflection on how they are as a provider, how they are in bed, and much more. That’s why they often don’t talk to their friends about it as much as women do. [caption id="attachment_713716" align="alignleft" width="420"]Image may be NSFW.
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She’s a (h word)

It may be cavemen mentality, but a lot of men still think that men evolved to crave multiple partners, but women didn’t (and shouldn’t). So they often think if a woman cheats, something is wrong with her—like she is hypersexual.   [caption id="attachment_693996" align="alignleft" width="420"]Image may be NSFW.
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I should have cheated

Plenty of men who are cheated on found themselves wanting to cheat in the past, didn’t, and now really regret that decision. It’s silly, of course, because why would having compromised their values make them feel better now? [caption id="attachment_698081" align="alignleft" width="419"]Image may be NSFW.
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Women aren’t supposed to do this

Nobody is supposed to do this, but many men assume that women have much better control over their impulses than men do, and that female cheaters are natural rebels and rule-breakers. [caption id="attachment_719468" align="alignleft" width="420"]Image may be NSFW.
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This is completely violating

When men are cheated on, it can feel as if somebody broke into their home or stole their identity. Since men can often revolve their social lives around their partners (whereas women are better at keeping up friendships outside their relationship) they really do feel like their identity has been taken. [caption id="attachment_716146" align="alignleft" width="420"]Image may be NSFW.
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I can’t work this out with her

Women are far more likely to try to work things out with a cheater than men are. Men have larger egos when it comes to the subject, whereas women might be willing to think about things like, “We have kids together” or “We work so well together…”

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