Eighties babies got a nice dose of a true Hip-Hop battle this past weekend when Bronx-bred rap artist Remy Ma released a track titled “ShETHER,” dissing Queens-bred rapper Nicki Minaj.
Like most, I thought that the song contained lyrics that would prevent Nicki Minaj from being able to comfortably show her face in public ever again. However, it was the verses about Remy’s alleged conversation with Nicki’s ex, Meek Mill, that made my jaw drop:
And I saw Meek at All-Star; he told me your a– drop
He couldn’t f–k you for three months because your a– dropped
Now I don’t think you understand how bad her a– got
The implants that she had put in her a– popped
I was like, “Damn, 90 days and you couldn’t have box?
Did she at least compensate, start giving you mad top?
Her name Minaj, right? She ain’t throw you some mad thots?”
He said “Nah,” that’s when I knew you was really a trash bop
Not knowing the details of Meek Mill and Nicki Minaj’s relationship, I would hope that the two famed artists were no longer romantically involved when he allegedly had this discussion with Remy Ma. If not, that would be ultimate betrayal.
Why would he tell Nicki Minaj’s business? Let alone, why would he tell her business about their sex life (or lack thereof) to another woman? This is a unique situation, as he could have known about the female rappers’ bubbling rap beef and wanted to create additional mess. Or, he could have simply wanted to catch up with an old friend, become a little too comfortable, and therefore, let confidential information slip through the cracks. Either way, he did something he shouldn’t have, because he’s said to be reveling in the negative spotlight on his ex, this after allegedly liking a meme depicting Remy and Nicki’s beef.
Unfortunately, this is all too familiar when it comes to my relationships with a few of my male friends. Years before I was married, I would hang out with them regularly. I would often meet them for happy hour after work or at a restaurant to partake in a 20-cent wing special. Very rarely would I meet them all at once so it would just be the two of us catching up.
When we did hang out, we bonded over sports, gossiped about mutual friends and our own dating relationships. While our conversations included detailed information on their end, the conversation about my relationship only consisted of them mentioning how happy they were that I had finally found my match while chastising my past romantic choices. Looking back on our discussions, I never had much to say about their relationships until they spilled the beans. And boy did their loose lips get to flapping.
Our conversations would range from issues with a lack of sex to gift-giving. And although I don’t think they were seeking advice, I always offered it. When one friend said his lack of intimacy (including what his partner would do and wouldn’t do in the bedroom) would most likely lead to infidelity, I quickly provided solutions. I gave suggestions on how to spruce up their sex life and possible reasons behind his wife’s actions. Please note that I wasn’t married at the time, nor did I contain a psychology degree, so I assumed that the little bit of advice I gave did not make a huge impact. Still, it was better than co-signing bad behavior.
I’m not sure why my friends felt comfortable enough to divulge such personal information, particularly about their significant others. Still, I was glad that they felt that they could be open and honest and able to receive my commentary. At the time, I did feel that I helped in a way, even in a small way. But it was also uncomfortable. I knew their wives and girlfriends, so after being made hip to personal information about these women, you can imagine how awkward it was for me when I was around them (not for them, though, as they had no clue I knew all of their tea).
Knowing what my friends have told me, I couldn’t help but wonder how I would feel if my then-boyfriend (now husband) told the most intimate details of our relationship to a female friend.
Not only do I have the pleasure of not having to worry about that, but I also have a husband who does not talk to his friends about our relationship – ever. It’s a double-edged sword, though. Sometimes I want him to reach out to a friend, especially a female friend, about gift ideas or ways women communicate to gain some perspective. But if he does seek counsel from the opposite sex, how much information does he have to give to receive adequate advice? Would he be getting the best advice from the right female friend?
Basically, how much shared information is too much information? When is it harmless and when does it become messy?
I guess I won’t personally know anytime soon, which is more than okay with me. For now, I’ll sleep peacefully at night knowing that what we do in our bedroom is between the sheets and us. As for Nicki, I can’t say how she’s sleeping right now, but I hope she’s in the studio working on a response — or at least learning to vet her next boyfriend properly.
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