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K. Michelle Shaves Her Head, Hints At Possible New Album

July 2, 2017, 9:00 am
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They be like that bih fake and lately I heard she been bleaching. I just look at the hoes like y’all still reaching? #lyrics

A post shared by The People I Used To Know (@thepeopleiusedtoknow) on

Well, if you hadn’t already noticed, K. Michelle has a new look.

The R&B powerhouse is known for donning a number of hairstyles thanks to trusty wigs. So when she posted a photo with a freshly-shaved head on Instagram, heads surely turned and fingers double tapped to their hearts content. Interestingly enough, K. Michelle captioned the photo with an Instagram account dubbed “@ThePeopleIUsedToKnow.”

On the account, which already has a whopping 12.8k followers, K. Michelle explained her new ‘do. “I cut it off, like I cut you off,” she wrote. “U picked your side, and i’m picking mine. The tough decision hasn’t cost me a dime, but the pretending you care is a waste of my time. Friendship ends when some are offered slot times.”

While the account also shows her donning many hairstyles ranging from long and wavy electric blue tresses to golden ombre, she makes it clear that she’s on a journey to finding herself as she captioned one of the photos, “I’ve been learning, learning to be in love with myself. Im a grown ass woman.”

One caption in particular that is stirring up some rumblings is: “They be like that bih fake and lately I heard she been bleaching. I just look at the hoes like y’all still reaching? #lyrics”

With the #lyrics hashtag, many are wondering if this Instagram account is a hint that she’ll be putting out a new album soon, and if it will be titled The People I Used to Know. 

Who knows but we’re definitely feeling K. Michelle’s new ‘do. What about you?

The post K. Michelle Shaves Her Head, Hints At Possible New Album appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Mary J. Blige Says Prayer Got Her Through Her Divorce

July 2, 2017, 9:21 am
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Mary J. Blige body

Just last weekend we watched Mary J. Blige flaunt her post-divorce body and her one-of-a-kind, powerhouse vocals that crowned her the queen of Hip-Hop Soul back in the ’90s on the BET Awards.

While she carried herself with grace and dignity in the midst of a tumultuous, highly-publicized divorce from her husband/manager Kendu Isaacs on television, she recently attended the ESSENCE Fest as a performer and a guest speaker. During the conversation, journalist Tamron Hall and Blige delved deep into how the superstar has been faring during her recent journey that’s played out in the media.

“The journey that got us here is that every woman can relate to a woman out there fighting for her marriage,” she began. “When I first started writing this album I was fighting for my marriage. There were a lot of layers to me peeled back for this marriage. I really thought I did [find] the love of my life.”

As many know, Issacs and Blige had been married for 12 years, but in July 2016 it all came to an end. Being open and honest, she revealed, “I don’t know if people seen the last eight or five years of my life, but its been hell. And its been ugly and its been public and its been nasty. So, in the midst of all that. And the stuff that people don’t even know about — fighting for my life, fighting for my marriage, fighting for my morals and everything — I discovered my strength. My strength, my real strength is discovered.”

In addition to releasing her thirteenth studio album, Strength of a Woman, Mary revealed that prayer helped her through her darkest moments.

“Being Mary J. Blige the celebrity is secondary and I’m a human being first and I suffer just like everyone else,” she said. “I believe that I wasn’t given this career or this job as a singer or this gift from God to sit down and say, ‘I’m going to suffer from the world in silence and die.’ And it’s therapeutic for me as well. So, you know, that’s why. It’s not just for me.”

Head over to ESSENCE to read the full post.

The post Mary J. Blige Says Prayer Got Her Through Her Divorce appeared first on MadameNoire.

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ASOS Showcases A Realistic Representation Of Beauty With Untouched Photos Of Swimwear Models

July 2, 2017, 10:18 am
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For the past few years, British online fashion and beauty store ASOS, has been dominating the fast fashion scene with over 850 brands as well as its own range of clothing and accessories.

While we love their vast offerings, what we love even more is the fact that they are quite consistent with offering a realistic representation of beauty to consumers. This season, aka swimsuit season, many are praising the store for using untouched photos of models proudly flaunting their stretch marks, blemishes and more.

UK-based site, Independent, reported on the happening, detailing ASOS’ effort to make “natural” seen as “normal.”

As expected, the outpour of praise on social media was also plenty:

“So impressed with ASOS for not airbrushing the model’s stretchmarks. She looks amazing!”

“ASOS not editing out girl’s stretch marks on their swimwear photos is giving me so much life, look how beautiful they all are.”

“Hopefully this sets the standards of natural is normal!”

In addition to the ladies baring their natural skin, the brand also extended this movement to their curvy collection, being sure to not only show just one body type exists.

We see you, ASOS!

 

 

The post ASOS Showcases A Realistic Representation Of Beauty With Untouched Photos Of Swimwear Models appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Are Feminine Wipes Actually Healthy For You?

July 2, 2017, 11:05 am
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When it comes to feminine hygiene, there are many ways to make sure your lower region is clean and healthy. But the real question many ladies are wondering is if all are actually healthy for you.

Over the years, vaginal wipes and washes have had mixed reviews. While some women swear by it, others have written them off. Even healthcare professionals are debating whether they are safe and a necessary part of the feminine hygiene regimen. So, in an effort to try and get down to the bottle of his heavily debated question, InStyle, reached out to trusted professionals to talk about the pros and cons of feminine wipes.

“Some women can use anything on their V and suffer no consequence, explains Dr. Alyssa Dweck, practicing gynecologist at CareMount Medical in Westchester County, New York and Assistant Clinical Professor in the Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Science at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine. “Many women, however, are super sensitive when it comes to the ‘V’ skin (vulva) and often will suffer itching, irritation, burning, and propensity to infection.”

However, Dweck made sure to point out that products like Sweet Spot and Honey Pot are made specifically for the vulva, which is the external opening of the vagina. Therefore, they aren’t meant for inside of the vagina, which is made of up even more sensitive skin.

“As far as specific ingredients, glycerin might increase the chance of yeast infection for those already prone,” Dr. Dweck continued. “Parabens have been controversial due to their potential as hormone disruptors, so women concerned about breast cancer typically stay away, although FDA considers the ingredient safe. A Strong fragrance is very often irritating for many particularly those in the peri-menopausal or menopausal time when intimate tissue is more sensitive. Alcohol can be drying and essential oils can be caustic unless uber-diluted.”

Head over to InStyle to read the full story.

The post Are Feminine Wipes Actually Healthy For You? appeared first on MadameNoire.

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ColourPop Is Launching A Nail Polish Line

July 2, 2017, 11:31 am
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When it comes to copping quality makeup for dirt cheap, ColourPop is certainly our go-to destination. From products for eyes, lips, and cheeks, they’ve got it all. And now, the popular brand is gearing up to expand their already coveted range of products to nail polish.

On July 7, ColourPop will debut its first six shades, which are all free of toxic chemicals like  Toluene, Formaldehyde, Formaldehyde Resin, Camphor, DBP, TPHP, and Xyle, and only $6 each.

With brands like OPI and Essie donning a price tag of $8 and up, we’re definitely going to give Colourpop’s new line a try. Ladies, what about you?

The post ColourPop Is Launching A Nail Polish Line appeared first on MadameNoire.

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You Can Zap Away Acne With This New Light Device

July 2, 2017, 11:57 am
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Anyone out there with cystic acne? If so, listen up.

The troubles of cystic acne are plenty, especially since the painful shot can take up residency on your face for who knows how long. For some, they use prescribed medicine from their dermatologist or even stop by for a cortisone shot. But what happens when you don’t have access to either and need something you can buy from your local Target or Walmart to cure it.

Well, that’s where Neutrogena’s new Light Therapy Acne Spot Treatment comes in handy. While light therapy isn’t anything new – we’ve seen LED masks and much more on the market – this new product is genius because it’s small, just $20, and gets the job done.

The instructions are easy, as you simply place the pen-like device on your troubled areas and let the blue and red light sit directly on your skin for tow minutes. While it seems too good to be true, one woman was surprised by its magical powers.

ELLE’s Kristina Rodulfo, who like many, suffers from cystic acne tried it out herself after numerous visit to her dermatologist for cortisone shots. She even shared that “salicylic acid stickers, tea tree oil, toothpaste, even” have failed her.

“I used the spot treatment three times in a day (suggested usage is twice a day): right when I woke up and washed my face, when I got home after work, and right before bed,” she explained. “It was the only new thing I added to my regimen. Like magic, it reduced my typical two-week pimple’s life down to a bearable two days (and I could already see reduction overnight). Even better, I skipped the unsightly part when the pimple becomes a whitehead and instead, the zit just swelled down. When I felt more breakouts starting, I used the light pen right away and saw my pimples visibly diminish.”

Still don’t believe in miracles like Rodulfo’s? Well, New York City dermatologist Dr. Robin Gmyrek backed her results, sharing that, “Red [light] reduces inflammation and promotes circulation, improves wound healing and stimulates new collagen and blue [light] destroys acne-causing bacteria and decreases the oil gland production of sebum.” She went on to explain that when the blue light the pen features is “absorbed by a chemical in the body called porphyrin, it creates heat that kills P. acnes bacteria and ‘stuns’ the oil gland so it produces less sebum.”  Therefore, together, they are a powerful duo.

Read the full story over on ELLE.

The post You Can Zap Away Acne With This New Light Device appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Young Thug Donates Proceeds From NYC Show To Planned Parenthood

July 2, 2017, 3:28 pm
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Young Thug has a huge heart and a soft spot for Planned Parenthood. After performing at New York City’s Terminal 5, the rapper, who is also a father of six, shared that he would donate all the proceeds to the non-profit organization.

“I’m donating the proceeds from my show tonight to @PPFA,” he tweeted. “I was a teenage parent. Planned + unplanned parenthood is beautiful.”

 

Young Thug had his first child at the tender age of 17, so he knows the aid that Planned Parenthood brings to many families.

The organization, which provides reproductive health care, has recently been under fire for their abortion services. In particular, Donald Trump signed legislation just a few months back aimed at cutting off federal funding to Planned Parenthood and other groups.

The trickle down has since continued as four Indiana clinics were officially shut down on Friday (June 30) after the state’s governor signed a bill to stop Medicaid funding for the organization in May.

The post Young Thug Donates Proceeds From NYC Show To Planned Parenthood appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Tina Knowles-Lawson Reveals The Inspiration Behind Destiny’s Child’s Camouflage Costumes

July 2, 2017, 3:58 pm
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Tina Knowles

ESSENCE Festival’s Beauty and Style stage offered up many gems and never-before-told stories from some of our favorite celebrities, including Beyoncé and Solange’s mother (aka Mama Tina), who shared sentimental stories from Destiny’s Child days.

In particular, being the group’s stylist, Lawson revealed that she was given a $1500 budget by the record company to dress the girls. While it wasn’t much, she put her creativity to the test and pushed the boundaries when it came to the group’s fashion aesthetic.

“I’m a huge fan of Motown,” Lawson said. “When you saw them on stage, you saw sparkle…you saw attitude. They didn’t have on t-shirt and jeans.”

Destiny’s Child style can certainly be summed up as fabulous, funky, and fresh. Many of us remember them  making camouflage a fashion statement for the ladies, but surprisingly enough, that look was something that happened on the fly.

During the chat, Lawson recalls a performance trip to Jamaica that didn’t go as planned. Apparently, the girl’s costumes had gone missing. But Lawson didn’t let that stop them from being dressed to the nines. Instead, she visited a local flea market and found a camouflage fabric she fell in love with. Before she knew it, it was a full on-trend that was catapulted by their “Survivor “music video.

“The camouflage was probably my favorite thing,” Lawson continued, detailing that New Orleans native rapper Master P, who rocked camo frequently, was her inspiration behind the now-iconic costumes worn by the girls.

Head over to ESSENCE to read the entire story.

The post Tina Knowles-Lawson Reveals The Inspiration Behind Destiny’s Child’s Camouflage Costumes appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Signs You Still Don’t Think You’re Worth A Great Relationship

July 3, 2017, 4:00 am
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[caption id="attachment_834827" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/young woman enjoying the view of a lake[/caption] In life, you tend to get the things you believe you deserve. Whether it’s the type of jobs, friends or romantic partners you have, you attract the quality that you think you deserve. And why shouldn’t you? If it doesn’t seem like you believe you should have that great promotion, why should your boss think you should have it? Why would someone trust you with something when your behavior clearly screams, “I’m not worthy of this—I don’t know what to do with this?” The same goes for your relationships. Men can sense when you believe you should have a great relationship, and when you don’t. You’ve probably heard the saying, “Water seeks its own level” but if you haven’t, it means that people are drawn to those similar to them. If you don’t believe you’re worthy of a great partner, then you will attract less-than-great partners. Here are signs you still don’t think you’re worthy of a great relationship.   [caption id="attachment_699584" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You assume the worst

If a man you’re really into doesn’t call when he says he will or has to reschedule a date, you immediately assume it’s because he saw something about you. He must have detected that you’re just deeply flawed and won’t make a good partner. He must be ghosting you. He must be giving you the slow fade.             [caption id="attachment_713184" align="alignleft" width="421"] Shutterstock[/caption]

And you’re okay with the worst

Not only do you assume the worst, but you’re okay with it. You don’t even feel sad or surprised if a man you really like ghosts you. Deep down, you expect to lose the things you want the most. Deep down, you don’t believe your story will end with you getting what you want.            

You can’t imagine a stress-free relationship

Some friends tell you that good relationships are supposed to be easy. That seems completely foreign to you. You’ve only had relationships in which you and your partner constantly had to hash things out, and everything felt like an uphill battle. Your relationships are always a tremendous amount of work.         [caption id="attachment_702712" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]  

You can’t imagine dating your best friend

No one you’ve ever dated has felt like your friend. If you aren’t sure whether or not you’ve ever dated someone who also felt like your best friend, then you haven’t. And that means you don’t select men who really get you, through and through.         [caption id="attachment_701243" align="alignleft" width="456"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You date men who only see one part of you

You’ve had to heighten certain parts of your personality and hide the others to make your partners happy. For example, maybe you’ve dated men who only liked you when you were sweet, patient and demure. So you never showed them the sides of you that are tough, assertive and impatient. You play a role to make your relationships work.         [caption id="attachment_699995" align="alignleft" width="468"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You avoid men to whom you’re attracted

If you walk into a room and one man instantly grabs your attention, that’s the one man you don’t talk to the rest of the night. Your subconscious tells you, “That’s the person I want the most and so that’s the person things wouldn’t work out with. May as well avoid him.”                 [caption id="attachment_618085" align="alignleft" width="422"] Corbis Images[/caption]

You have dreams about some elusive love

You regularly have dreams about some entity—maybe it’s a person or some ethereal moving ball of light—and you know that entity represents the way you should feel in relationships or your perfect partner. In your dreams, you are constantly chasing this entity, or losing it. You wake up from these dreams feeling very sad. This is your brain’s way of telling you that, currently, you’re behaving in a way that keeps a great relationship beyond your reach.         [caption id="attachment_607152" align="alignleft" width="420"] Corbis[/caption]

You compromise too much

If you had to be honest, you would admit that you compromise too much in relationships. You’ve done things that went against your values. You’ve let your career and friendships suffer to make the relationship work. You’ve lost yourself in relationships because you thought that was the only way to get someone to love you.             [caption id="attachment_608164" align="alignleft" width="452"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You get happiness everywhere but your relationship

If you think about the times you’ve been in relationships, everything else in your life made you happy—but not that relationship. Your friendships, career, hobbies, and family were these shiny, happy balls of light and your relationship was this dull thing that made everything else darker.           [caption id="attachment_711839" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Wedding vows never resonate with you

Vows about how there could be nobody else in the world but that person, how God put them together, how that person is their best friend, how that person lifts them up…none of that resonates with you. Not even close.             [caption id="attachment_707169" align="alignleft" width="421"]take him back Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You talk yourself into your relationships

You’ve had to talk yourself into relationships. You’ve used your brain to decide a relationship was a good thing. But here’s the thing: when a relationship is great, you don’t need to talk yourself into it.             [caption id="attachment_703521" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

People often ask, “Are you happy?”

Your friends and family often ask you, with concern in their voice and the subtext you can be honest with me, “Are you happy?” And when you say you are, they suspiciously say, “Okay…” But they clearly do not believe you. Even if you can’t see that you’re unhappy, everybody else can.             [caption id="attachment_614018" align="alignleft" width="422"] Corbis Images[/caption]

You accept insecurity as part of love

You believe that feeling insecure is a part of every relationship. Everyone in a relationship wonders if their partner actually loves them, right? Everyone wonders if their partner wishes they were different/better/more attractive, right? Sorry, but no. When you’re in a great relationship, you feel so fully embraced and loved. You don’t second guess it.           [caption id="attachment_624838" align="alignleft" width="505"] Corbis[/caption]

Your other relationships are sub-par

If you have friends that don’t treat you well, or about whom you’re just not that excited; if you have a job you aren’t passionate about; if you’ve never liked the way your family treated you…you probably don’t believe you’re worthy of a great romantic relationship.           [caption id="attachment_693930" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You feel very nervous about dates

If you don’t think you’re worthy of a great relationship, then you probably don’t trust yourself on dates. You don’t trust yourself to say what you want, to show who you really are, or to write someone off who clearly isn’t great for you. Dates are things you survive—not things you enjoy.

The post Signs You Still Don’t Think You’re Worth A Great Relationship appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Jasmine Shepard Forced To Share Valedictorian Title With White Student With A Lower GPA

July 3, 2017, 5:00 am
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Most of us have a pretty clear understanding of how the choosing of valedictorian works. There’s really no choosing at all. The person who has earned the highest GPA takes the crown. But according to a recent lawsuit filed by the family of Jasmine Shepard, Cleveland High School was a bit fuzzy on the whole process.

According to The Washington Post, the day before Jasmine Shepard was set to graduate from a Cleveland, Mississippi high school, in May 2016, she learned that she and another White student would share the co-valedictorian title.

But Shepard and her family believe this was simply a ploy to keep Jasmine from receiving the honor alone, that the White student’s GPA was not as high as Jasmine’s.

Jasmine’s mother Sherry Shepard told The Post, the small community made it easy to calculate the students’ GPA.

“These children have been attending school with each other since middle school,” she said. “We know the schedule, we know what they take, and we have a good idea where the discrepancy lies.”

The lawsuit also notes that this is the first time in the school’s 110 year history that a student has been made to share the valedictorian title.

“Prior to 2016, all of Cleveland High School’s valedictorians were white,” the suit says. “As a result of the school official’s unprecedented action of making an African-American student share the valedictorian award with a white student, the defendants discriminated against.”

In an email, Jamie Jacks, an attorney for the Cleveland School District, called the lawsuit frivolous and said the students had identical grade point averages.

“As such, under school board policy, they were both named valedictorian of their graduating class, The district’s policy is racially neutral and fair to students.”

The case is made even more interesting considering the fact that a federal judge had to make an official ruling to desegregate The Cleveland School District, in 2016, 62 years after Brown v. Board.

The judge wrote “The delay in desegregation has deprived generations of students of the constitutionally-guaranteed right of an integrated education,” U.S. District Court Judge Debra M. Brown wrote last year. “Although no court order can right these wrongs, it is the duty of the district to ensure that not one more student suffers under this burden.”

Shepard’s mother said that Jasmine was forced to speak after the White co-valedictorian and had she not protested, she would have had to walk behind her during the ceremony.

“A child, when they earn honors, they are entitled to receive them. There is no inclusion in the Cleveland school district. When the district wants something, they just take it.”

The suit asks for unspecified monetary damages and for Jasmine to be declared sole valedictorian.

The post Jasmine Shepard Forced To Share Valedictorian Title With White Student With A Lower GPA appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Things Patients Wish Their Doctors Knew

July 3, 2017, 5:00 am
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[caption id="attachment_835032" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/healthcare, medical and technology concept - african female doctor with laptop pc writing prescription[/caption] Let’s be honest: we’re all a little dishonest with our doctors. That’s because we know that their advice is for someone who wants to be in perfect health. And we don’t need to be in perfect health—we’ll settle for pretty-good health that doesn’t give us too many aches and pains, will keep us alive until we’re 80, and still lets us do whatever the heck we want. Most people out there are not willing to give up their vices and bad habits if all that means is they’ll feel slightly less fatigued or their cholesterol will drop a couple of points. If we can be completely transparent, most of us see our doctor’s advice as vague guidelines more than strict laws. Oh, and those questions they ask us? We often decide how much they really need to know. Here are things patients wish their doctors knew…but won’t tell them. [caption id="attachment_693983" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

I weigh less naked!

Standing on the scale for your check-up is disheartening. They weigh you with your shoes on, your clothes on, and your purse in hand. And what about those earrings you wear? Those must easily add another pound. You would really like the record to show (and the nurse to write down) that you’re 140 fully dressed and…um…132 nude. Scout’s honor.             [caption id="attachment_612908" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Shutterstock[/caption]

I’m going to keep drinking

First of all, I’m going to pretend I have some vague idea how much alcohol I drink every week. Next, I’m going to tell you it’s under seven drinks. In reality, I can take down seven drinks on a Friday night if things pop off, and I see two glasses of wine at dinner as my way of getting fruit juice. But if my blood work comes back and says my liver is in good shape, I can keep all of that information to myself.             [caption id="attachment_695063" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

I use WebMD more than you want to know

There have been several times I probably should have come to you, but I just used WebMD and determined I wasn’t going to die. And look! I didn’t! But, admittedly, if you could have seen the symptoms I was dealing with, you’d scold me for not rushing to the emergency room.           [caption id="attachment_716690" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

I’ve lost track of my vaccines

When you ask when my last vaccine was for this or that, I’m going to tell you when. I’m going to make up that time—but I’ll tell you something that gets me out of getting another painful shot right now!                 [caption id="attachment_719261" align="alignleft" width="500"] Shutterstock[/caption]

I don’t exactly take my pill on time

Sure, I take my pill at the same time every day. But, what is time, really? Some philosophers say time does not even exist. Some say there are several universes happening at once, some in the future, some in the past. Fine, I take my pill sometime between noon and 4 pm okay?! And so far, I’m not pregnant.             [caption id="attachment_703944" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

I want the pill that makes my boobs grow

I’m going to tell you that I did all this research about each type of pill. I’m going to tell you I’ve selected the one with the least dangerous side effects, or the one that manages PMS symptoms. Really I’ve selected the one that is supposed to make my boobs grow.             [caption id="attachment_697001" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Nobody gets to sleep that much

Can we all stop pretending anybody out there is sleeping eight hours a night? I mean, doctor—are you? I sleep around six solid hours on weeknights and try to make up for it over the weekend. Yes, I know there is no such thing as catching up on sleep. But it feels like there is.               [caption id="attachment_608920" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

I have more stomach problems than I want to share

If I told you about the consistency of my bowel movements on most days of the week, you’d say I needed a colonoscopy or an endoscopy. But those are expensive and uncomfortable, and honestly, I don’t mind diarrhea. In fact, it makes me feel skinny.     [caption id="attachment_617341" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

I don’t know how many sexual partners I’ve had

I’ll tell you how many partners I’ve had. The truth is I know that number is far smaller than the real number. Furthermore, I have no idea what the real number is. But I’ve been safe so back off.             [caption id="attachment_625047" align="alignleft" width="427"]“People depend on me” Corbis[/caption]

Yes, I get depressed. That’s what alcohol is for.

When you ask if I suffer from any depression, I’m going to tell you I don’t. But of course, I do! I’m a human being. I just don’t suffer from it to the point where it interferes with my daily activities, and it usually goes away after a day or two, and doesn’t come back for weeks at a time. In fact, I can usually go out for some drinks with friends and feel all better.           [caption id="attachment_830641" align="alignleft" width="420"] Bigstockphotos.com/Child hands washing fresh vegetables for a healthy salad - the red bell pepper under the water stream of the kitchen sink, shallow depth[/caption]

Sometimes I don’t eat a vegetable for three days

Real talk: I get into bouts where I just order enough pizza for three days and eat it until it’s done. Then I have nothing but vegetable juice for two days. You wouldn’t like it if I told you that, so I’m going to tell you I eat balanced meals of complex carbs, vegetables and lean protein at every meal.             [caption id="attachment_705347" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

I exercise less than I tell you

But I couldn’t possibly find more time in my schedule to exercise more, I’m not overweight (at least not much) and my heart is in good health. So let’s all pretend I go to the gym five days a week like I said I did when we know I go twice, and take my dog on extra long walks the other days.               [caption id="attachment_626593" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

I smoke something…but you didn’t ask about that

No, I do not smoke cigarettes. I smoke something else occasionally, but you didn’t ask about that. Oh and also, sometimes I do smoke cigarettes but only when I’m drunk. My lungs sound fine so get off my back.           [caption id="attachment_623973" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

I’m only going to take some of this advice

I’m going to nod enthusiastically at all of the advice you gave me. Then I’m going to take it home, see how much of it I can take without altering my habits and lifestyle much and split the difference. But I’ll come back a little bit healthier next time and that’s all that matters.       [caption id="attachment_614098" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

I eat fast food more than I want to say

I’ll tell you I eat it once in a blue moon. Only when I travel. Really, just during very busy weeks. The truth is, I need my Taco Bell fix once a week and I get down with McDonald’s breakfast twice a week.

The post Things Patients Wish Their Doctors Knew appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Producer No I.D. Talks About Beyoncé’s Involvement In 4:44 + Getting Jay To Open Up

July 3, 2017, 6:00 am
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Beyonce pregnancy

Jay-Z’s 13th album, his latest project 4:44 is unlike anything we’ve ever heard from him. It’s uncharacteristically honest, introspective and shares a vulnerability  many artists tend to avoid.

In true Carter fashion, Jay-Z dropped the project–on Tidal first, of course–and while he did briefly explain the meaning behind each song, he’s been silent since then.

But his producer No I.D. (real name Dion Wilson), who was the only producer on the project, is sharing how the creative work, which is already being called a masterpiece, came to be.

In an interview with The New York Times, No I.D. said that the album was recorded in his Hollywood studio. The two began in December and ended very recently. If you’ve listened to the lyrics, particularly the one about Al Sharpton, you might have gathered that.

“We did that maybe Monday?” No I.D., 46, said with a laugh. “Maybe Tuesday. I finished it Thursday morning.”

The New York Times asked if there was any song that hit him particularly hard.

“One that I didn’t see him record that really hit me was obviously “4:44.” Me, him and Guru, his [recording] engineer, knew that we didn’t want him to do an album of “Lemonade” response. We just wanted him to respond and then let it be and still touch on other things. I created that beat to box him into telling that story. I put the sample from the singer Hannah Williams — it starts off with, ‘I find it so hard/When I know in my heart/I’m letting you down everyday.’ I remember him hearing it and looking at me like, ‘O.K., fine.’ He went home, wakes up at 4:44 [a.m.] and calls Guru over [to record]. I was blown away. I just walked out of the studio and wanted to go find my wife and hug her. I told him that’s the best song he’s ever written. Everything it covers about being a man, being in a relationship, being a father, how you affect your kids. These things don’t really get touched on in music, especially in hip-hop.”

On Lemonade

“No, we never directly spoke about that album. Mainly because if he talks about himself, it’s going to bleed into that regardless. But there’s a difference in talking about it for the sake of response and for the sake of honesty and the truth. The truth needs to explain why you are the way you are, why you did what you did. We know what happened. We got it. But what were the circumstances that led to this and how do you feel about it?”

Were you getting outside input as you went along? Was Beyoncé coming by the studio?

“I always call Bey our de facto A&R. Pillow talk is the strongest conversation on the planet. Every song has to get past her ears, in my eyes. She came by a lot and played a good part in helping us get over hurdles on certain records. Of course she’s genius-level with that.”

We haven’t really had a rapper of Jay’s stature put out an album of this magnitude this late in his career. Did you discuss the hurdles of getting people to take an older man seriously in a young man’s game?

“Absolutely. A couple times we said, “Has there been anyone in any genre that really tapped into themselves on a new level at that age?” It’s really kind of unheard-of across the board, not just in rap. But there are certain cheat codes that are available now — you have streaming, and the ability to listen to everything that ever happened. We could gauge: Why does Adele do this? Why did Led Zeppelin do this? Why did Jimi Hendrix do this? What are the common threads? Honesty, vulnerability, pain — these are things that always supersede the trends of the day.”

 

The post Producer No I.D. Talks About Beyoncé’s Involvement In 4:44 + Getting Jay To Open Up appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Have You Ever Let A Friend Talk You Out Of Getting To Know A Man You Really Liked?

July 3, 2017, 6:35 am
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Image via BigStock Photo

I don’t know if I ever told my boyfriend that I live for stories–perhaps he just noticed the look of glee in my eyes whenever he started telling one. And so it became a practice. The other day he came with a good one that resulted in a 45 minute discussion about men, women and dating patterns. It was interesting and we couldn’t come to a real agreement on the subject, so I thought I’d share it with you all and you can tell me what you think.

So, a friend of my boyfriend, who we’ll call “J” is something like a dog. J has a girlfriend but consistently not only sleeps with other women, he takes them on full dates with the intention of sleeping with them. I share this detail because I don’t want you to sympathize with him when I get to the end.

Anyway, one day J is walking down the street when he, along with a few other men, notice this very attractive woman. He tells my boyfriend that she had a fat a$$. As you might assume with an attractive woman walking through a group of men, more than one of them tried to holler. But according to this dude, none of them were saying anything. And so when he approached with some substance, she gave him her attention. They talked enough for her to feel comfortable enough to accept a ride home from him.

During the trip, they started talking about weekend plans. Somewhere during the trip, she mentioned that she wanted to see a concert at BB King’s. And as luck would have it, J just so happens to moonlight there. Seeing this as his “in,” he pounced.

“Oh I work there! I can get you in for free. I was planning on going anyway.”

Homegirl agrees. And she and J make arrangements to meet up on Saturday.

The event started at 10 and didn’t really get poppin’ till 11. But since he would have to do some negotiating to get the both of them in for free, they needed to arrive early.

So Saturday comes and he texts the girl like, “I’m on my way to come pick you up now.”

She responds: “Oh. My cousin is going to come with us and she’s still getting ready. You just head down there and we’ll meet you later.”

At this point, he pauses the narration to tell my boyfriend that he hates when girls do this, invite third parties to a dating situation.

Anyway, with no real choice, he heads down to the venue, gets in and is waiting, and waiting and waiting.

At 1 a.m., J finally gets a text from the girl saying that she and her cousin are outside. He goes out there preparing for a fight. Now, he has to convince these freelance bouncers to not only let him re-enter but to do so with two other women, for free.

As he attempts to do so, the cousin is making things hot. As he’s trying to talk to the bouncers who are less than familiar with him, the cousin is basically beat boxing in the background, sighing heavily, exasperated.

After about five minutes, she finally makes an announcement.

“He can’t do nothing. Let’s go!”

And the girl, following her cousin’s lead, walks away without so much as a word about making other plans to see J.

Now, if you’re a woman reading this, you’ve probably already peeped game. The girl was in NO way interested in J. And instead of rejecting him outright, she invited another person to the date, put him off (showing up to the club hours late), and straight walked out of it after just a few minutes. For whatever reason, she didn’t feel comfortable being the bad guy and she solicited the help of her cousin to do the dirty work.

My boyfriend agreed that I had a point and might have even been right. But he attempted to argue that women have a tendency of letting their friends, family, associates–other women– talk them out of potential partners.

It took me a minute to put this particular story out of my mind, because that was NOT what happened here at all. But once I was able to do so, I agreed that yes, women do sometimes allow their friends to talk them out of pursuing a relationship with the opposite sex. But I also added that a woman who could be talked out of a situation was not all that interested in the man to begin with.

We went back and forth on this one and eventually started talking numbers. My boyfriend said that a woman could be 75 percent interested in a man and still allow her friends to dissuade her.

I screwed up my face and said, “Man, please.”

Women are so conditioned to find “the one,” be on the hunt for “the one,” look out for “the one.” That if there was even a hint that he might be it, she’s not going to let a friend stand in the way of that.

Then he shared another quick story to change my mind. A friend of his, a woman, has a girlfriend who is extremely attractive. Friend A is not unattractive, it’s just that when these dudes peep Friend B, they’d much rather take their chances with her. But Friend A is not pressed or jealous. As she told my boyfriend, it just is what it is.

Or it was what it was until Friend B spotted a man she wanted to get to know in the club. She gave him the eye and came over. But once he saw Friend A, the one who doesn’t often get that much play, he was more intrigued by her. And Friend A was liking him too. They were holding a nice little conversation when Friend B announced that she was ready to go.

Friend A was like, “Ok cool, just give me a couple of minutes.”

Friend B leaves for a little while but comes back in tears saying that she needs to leave now. Naturally, seeing her friend so upset, she leaves the club. But as she tells my boyfriend, she really regrets the fact that she let her friend keep her from getting to know a man who appeared to be a good dude.

I still argued that perhaps she wasn’t all the way persuaded about the man because she didn’t get his number before she bounced to tend to her hating a$$ friend. Her regret was more about pacifying her friend’s bad behavior or coming to realization that Friend B wasn’t as loyal as Friend A thought, not about this spectacular man she missed out on.

That was the regret.

So now I ask you, have you ever let a friend, family member or another woman close to you dissuade you out of getting to know a man you were really interested in? How did it happen? Do you regret it?

 

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and on Instagram and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post Have You Ever Let A Friend Talk You Out Of Getting To Know A Man You Really Liked? appeared first on MadameNoire.

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10 Times Former White House Photographer Pete Souza Shaded Donald Trump With Photographic Evidence

July 3, 2017, 6:41 am
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Pete Souza is a veteran photo journalist. The 62-year-old was on hand taking some of the most iconic and memorable of President Obama, his family and his work as the leader of this country. And while we were all hurt to see that Trump would be President Obama's successor, Souza, who actually spent years with the Obamas might have felt the sting of this reality more strongly. And his form of resistance has been to use his photographs from the past eight years as a way to remind us of how good we had it and what a mistake we made in electing this replacement.  

Holding Hands

Who can forget the videos of Melania Trump going out of her way not to hold her husband’s hand? Hard to argue with video evidence. Well, Souza wants to let you know that the Obamas never had that problem.

Holding hands.

A post shared by Pete Souza (@petesouza) on

The Pope

This current Pope is one of the most liberal and most loving I can remember. So, as you can imagine it likely disturbed his spirit to be standing so close to President Trump. And instead of trying to fake it for the cameras. He let his visage do the talking. But when he met with President Obama in 2016, it was a different story.

Mutual admiration, 2016.

A post shared by Pete Souza (@petesouza) on

First 100 Days

Considering President Obama actually took this presidency seriously, it makes sense that the new pressures of the job took an effect on him. During his first 100 days, he took one golf outing. Meanwhile, Trump took 19 in that same time period.

Bo for potus. Happy April Fools Day.

A post shared by Pete Souza (@petesouza) on

Maybe a dog would be better

This one is pretty self explanatory.

Angela Merkel

Trump's refusal to shake German Prime minister Angela Merkel's hand during their meeting was disgusting. In fact, he would barely even look at her. When President Obama first met her, things went a bit differently.

First time meeting Angela Merkel in 2009

A post shared by Pete Souza (@petesouza) on

Laughing on President's Day.

A post shared by Pete Souza (@petesouza) on

A noticeable absence

...then again, I doubt these four men would be too eager to stand next to Trump.

The Situation Room

Peep the caption.

Press Welcome

Scrolling through this Instagram I forgot all of the shenanigans that have taken place, including the time the White House disinvited several members of the media from the press briefing simply because they were reporting something unfavorable about 45.

Meeting with Putin in 2014.

A post shared by Pete Souza (@petesouza) on

Putin

Mr. Putin didn't seem too impressed. Today there's a good chance he's running our country.

Glad he only tweeted out facts with his device.

A post shared by Pete Souza (@petesouza) on

Tweeting

Facts...not the alternative ones.

Respect for women

What a novel idea.

Someone has been photoshopping one of my photos. For the record, it wasn't me.

A post shared by Pete Souza (@petesouza) on

Spying

Remember when Donald Trump alleged that President Obama had tapped the Oval office and presidential counselor Kellyanne Conway, who I haven't seen in a minute, added that Obama likely spied on him through the microwave? God, help us.

The post 10 Times Former White House Photographer Pete Souza Shaded Donald Trump With Photographic Evidence appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Challenges All Female Friends Face

July 3, 2017, 7:00 am
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[caption id="attachment_835035" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphotos.com/young teen beautiful girls friends blowing kisses[/caption] If you are fortunate enough to have a girlfriend you’ve known since childhood, then that is a very special relationship that you should work hard at keeping. There’s nothing like a friend who you used to play in the mud with, who saw you through your rough teenage years, who knows all of your family drama, who was there through every (good, bad and bizarre) boyfriend, and who cheered you on while you got established in you career. When you really think about all of that, you can see how a childhood friend is irreplaceable. You can try to tell new friends your whole life story, but it’s just not the same as having had them there with you. That’s something to keep in mind when life throws your good female friendship some curve balls. Don’t give up on it. Here are challenges all close female friendships face. [caption id="attachment_698081" align="alignleft" width="419"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Your spouses don’t get along

It’s hard to believe when it happens. You and your best friend have so much in common. You love each other so much. You could seriously live together (and have!) and love it. How could your significant others not love each other? Well don’t forget you and your BFF still have some differing qualities, and it’s possible that your life partners appeal to those sides of you. You, your BFF and your two SO’s may not be the best friend foursome you’d hoped, but that doesn’t mean you and your best friend can’t keep up your connection. Just don’t drag the men along.         [caption id="attachment_709009" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You don’t like her spouse

The issue may not be that your significant others don’t get along. The issue may be that you’re not crazy about your friend’s choice in a life partner. When it comes down to it, all that should matter is that she is still just as good of a friend to you as ever. You may want to voice your opinion on your friend’s significant other to her, but know that, if she has already decided to marry him, doing this will almost definitely just cause a rift that is hard to repair.         [caption id="attachment_624844" align="alignleft" width="419"] Corbis Images[/caption]

You have different parenting styles

If you and your best friend both have children, you’re bound to babysit for one another. But any time you leave your child in the hands of someone else, from in-laws to paid babysitters, there are bound to be disputes over parenting styles. You and your friend will probably get in arguments about how to take care of one another’s children. Just don’t forget that your children will grow up, and these arguments will be a moot point. Try not to fight too much about issues that will only be temporary.         [caption id="attachment_616073" align="alignleft" width="420"]kids summer outside eating food snack siblings boy girl Shutterstock[/caption]

Your children don’t get along

You pray and dream that your children will be best friends just like you two are! If your children don’t get along, it can be so upsetting that you start blaming the other person’s child. “They don’t get along because your kid is like this…” etc. Look: just laugh it off. Life is long. Your children will probably get along one day.             [caption id="attachment_696911" align="alignleft" width="415"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You have differing financial situations

Life may not work out, financially, the same way for both of you. This can make getting together for double date activities difficult. You may not be able to vacation or dine together as much as you’d like. But still, make the effort to do things you and your friend can both afford to do. Don’t lose sight of what matters: drinking wine with your best friend is better than a fancy vacation with strangers any day.           [caption id="attachment_707855" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Different money=different friends

If you and your friend do end up in drastically different financial situations, this could mean that your exterior friend groups change a bit. When your finances are different, your interests and hobbies are different, and so are the friends and acquaintances that come with those. And it’s great to make new friends! But just don’t leave your childhood friend in the dust because, again, that connection is more special than any club, group or hobby you get into.           [caption id="attachment_703763" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

One works; one is a stay-at-home-mom

You and your best friend may go very different directions with your work and parenting. If one of you is a career woman, and the other chooses to be a stay-at-home mother, you may go through a rough patch where you feel like you don’t understand one another’s lives. But just know, even though one of you has laundry and kids draped over her and the other has five PDA devices, you’re still the same kids who used to play in the mud together. Don’t get too caught up in your grownup aliases.       [caption id="attachment_710059" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

A needy spouse

One of you may end up with a needy spouse—a spouse who doesn’t like when his partner goes on trips and leaves him at home, or a spouse who doesn’t know what to do with himself if his partner is out for girls night. It can be a bit annoying…on everyone. You can gently tell your friend that her partner needs to learn to be a bit more independent. But typically, this is the type of thing your friend will need to get sick of and address on her own.           [caption id="attachment_713445" align="alignleft" width="467"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Expanding/changing friend groups

Your spouse is going to come with his own big network and circle of friends. Deciding when to include everyone for a dinner party (your friends and his) can get complicated. Sometimes you cannot afford to host everyone. And sometimes, you know the groups won’t mesh. Your best friend may feel left out sometimes. But she’ll be dealing with the same dilemma on her end, with her spouse. Eventually, you’ll both understand these things just happen.       [caption id="attachment_718269" align="alignleft" width="422"] Shutterstock[/caption]

One flails out of control

At some point, you’ll both feel a little lost in life. This could be after graduate school when you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The decision is scary, so you just shack up with some surfer who lives on the beach and run away from reality. You throw away your cell phone. Okay, this may not be exactly your story, but you get the picture—at one point, you become self-destructive and unreliable. Or your friend will go through this. Don’t cut off the friendship over it; it’s a phase almost everyone in the world goes through and gets over.       [caption id="attachment_701290" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock.com[/caption]

Eating disorders and severe dieting

It’s so common for women to go through some period of disordered eating in their life. This usually comes during stressful times, like college, a new job, or after a breakup or divorce. If this is you, then your friend is going to worry about you. She’s going to worry so much about you that she may start to act like your mother. While it feels like she’s judging you, remember, she just really cares about you.         [caption id="attachment_702375" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

The work friends versus your BFF

You have to become friends with your colleagues. It’s a part of the career game. But they can take up a lot of time and not really mesh with your best friend. It’s not that they aren’t nice to your best friend—they just talk to you about work stuff, and your BFF has no idea what’s going on. It’s okay: the same thing will happen to her. Just keep carving out special alone time for the two of you.           [caption id="attachment_716146" align="alignleft" width="420"]couple arguing, breakup Shutterstock[/caption]

The unhealthy breakup habits

Whether it’s a divorce or a breakup, some love rift could cause your friend to get into some destructive behaviors. She could turn to alcohol, lots of casual sex or even more dangerous substances. It’s hard not to want to be very militant with your friend when this happens but just know that, after a tragedy, most people need to get a little out of control before they get back in control. All you can do during this time is be there if she needs support, but try not to let her destructive habits interfere with your life.         [caption id="attachment_698271" align="alignleft" width="468"] Shutterstock.com/Woman with a suitcase[/caption]

Distance

You may just end up living in different parts of the world! Then you’ll have the “I visit you more than you visit me” arguments. Just remember, it all comes from a place of desperately wanting to see one another. Try not to approach this as a, “Whose job is it to travel now” perspective. If you have more free time and more money, then at that time, travel to see your friend. You’ll be amazed at how you forget about the “unfairness” of it once you’re hanging with your BFF again.

The post Challenges All Female Friends Face appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Does Your Partner Love You Unconditionally?

July 4, 2017, 4:00 am
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[caption id="attachment_835264" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/Happy couple spending time together in the morning at home in the bedroom[/caption] The only love that can last a lifetime is unconditional love. That may seem dramatic, but it makes sense if you give a little more thought to those words—unconditional love. Life is full of conditions and those conditions change all of the time. When you first fall in love, you may both be in good health, be attractive, be thriving in your jobs, be in good mental health, and be putting forward your best self. But that is impossible to sustain forever. You cannot control what will happen to your health or the company at which you work. You cannot control tragedy that could destroy your mental wellbeing for some time. If your partner does not love you unconditionally, the relationship will end fast. To love someone unconditionally is to know who they are, at their essence, stripped of things like good health or success. Here are signs your partner loves you unconditionally.   [caption id="attachment_716116" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He would move for you

For your partner, you are the point. You are irreplaceable and he knows that everything else is replaceable. For that reason, he would move for you if he really had to. To him, life would make no sense without you. Even if he had the job he loved and his friends around him, if you left and he didn’t go with you, he would no longer be able to enjoy those other things.             [caption id="attachment_620944" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He delays his celebration if you’re sad

If your partner has had an amazing day—say he got a promotion—but he comes home to find something awful happened to you, he delays his happiness. How could he not? He can’t possibly feel happy when you’re sad. He can’t just celebrate in your face. And he wouldn’t want to celebrate something until you were in the state of mind to enjoy that with him.     [caption id="attachment_703766" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He puts up with people he doesn’t like

He tolerates your family members who insult him or often sound ignorant. He deals with your friends who, honestly, can be a little tough on him. He bites his tongue. He endures the verbal abuse. He does it because he has the willpower to, and if he can prevent an argument that would upset you, he will.           [caption id="attachment_715040" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He’ll do things he deems feminine for you

He’ll walk your dog who wears a bright pink harness and bright pink bows in her hair. He’ll hold your purse. He’ll pick up tampons for you. He’ll wait in the changing room at the store and give you input on a dress. He’d rather make you happy than uphold some image of masculinity.           [caption id="attachment_702818" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He can go a long time without sex

If you’re going through something—whether it’s a health issue, depression, or a very busy time—and you cannot have sex for a while, he doesn’t complain. He doesn’t make you feel bad about it. He acts (even if it isn’t true) like it’s absolutely no problem, so he doesn’t add guilt to all of the issues on your plate.             [caption id="attachment_612606" align="alignleft" width="378"] Corbis Images[/caption]

He is kind, even when you’re being nasty

Even when you’re in a nasty mood, and you aren’t giving him much by way of affection, he still gives you affection. He doesn’t let his pride get in the way of wanting to show you love. He’ll love you through your bad mood.             [caption id="attachment_717875" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He is affectionate, no matter who is there

He is never self-conscious about loving you. He will be affectionate towards you in front of people who will tease him for it. He’d rather endure being teased than ever make you feel less-than-loved.               [caption id="attachment_702361" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He’d put work second if you asked

If you truly needed your partner by your side, he’d be there, even if it affected his work. If your parent were in the hospital after a major medical event, your partner would cancel an important work event to be there. He understands that you don’t get a second chance at those life moments, but work can wait.             [caption id="attachment_701208" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

He stays home when you’re down

Even if your partner has an event he’s been looking forward to going to, he won’t go if you’re going through something. He can’t go out and have fun when you’re sitting at home, sad. It just doesn’t sit right with him.               [caption id="attachment_717489" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Shutterstock[/caption]

He carries the weight when you can’t

If you’re going through a particularly trying time, your partner does your chores, tidies up, and makes dinners for both of you. He doesn’t care about whose turn it is to do what around the house when you’re having a tough time. And he doesn’t expect you to make up for it later, when you’re in a better place. He is honored to help hard times be a little easier for you.             [caption id="attachment_705348" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He’ll do things that bore him if you love them

He’ll at least pretend to take an interest in things you care about, simply because you care about them. He’ll go with you to events and museums that totally bore him, just to be with you and feel connected to you.             [caption id="attachment_704630" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

He’s seen you be jealous, manipulative and immature

He’s seen your uglier sides. He’s seen you be impatient, immature, selfish, manipulative, jealous, lazy and dishonest. But he still saw the good in you through that.               [caption id="attachment_621135" align="alignleft" width="422"] Corbis Images[/caption]

He sees you as successful, no matter what

You could be a barista at a coffee shop or own your own Fortune 500 company—your partner would feel the same way about you. His feelings for you have nothing to do with external circumstances.             [caption id="attachment_618712" align="alignleft" width="630"] Corbis Images[/caption]

No fight could take your relationship down

You feel, in your gut, that there is no fight the two of you couldn’t survive. And that’s because you know your partner will love you under any condition.       [caption id="attachment_607642" align="alignleft" width="420"] Corbis[/caption]

He puts you over his vices

If you asked your partner to quit smoking, drinking, doing drugs, eating fast food, or hanging out with destructive friends for you, he would do it. Vices are strong but his love for you is stronger.

The post Does Your Partner Love You Unconditionally? appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Life Tutorials We All Wish Existed

July 4, 2017, 5:00 am
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[caption id="attachment_835267" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/one mixed race african young teenager girl woman computer laptop in studio shadow silhouette isolated on white background[/caption] There are a lot of YouTube tutorials for things like how to do the perfect smokey eye, how to contour and how to make your crows feet disappear. The tutorials even expand beyond the makeup world, of course, to how to fix a sink and how to detangle a pile of necklaces. Wouldn’t it be nice if tutorials existed for some of life’s stickier situations? Some circumstances arise for which you really wish you had someone walking you through each step, so you didn’t create a total disaster. Considering how common many of these scenarios are, shouldn’t there be a simple how-to guide? And shouldn’t we get points for using it? Here are life tutorials we all wish existed. [caption id="attachment_700529" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

How to plan a wedding without pissing anyone off

It seems impossible to throw a wedding without pissing somebody off. If someone isn’t upset about where they were sat, or the fact that they weren’t invited, or the fact they weren’t made part of the bridal party, or the fact that you went over-budget, then it really wasn’t a wedding, was it? A step-by-step guide on wedding-planning diplomacy that told you how to plan the big day while leaving the least damage in your wake sure would be helpful.       [caption id="attachment_705624" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

When is it a relationship?

No matter your age, if you are single and dating, you never quite know when you’re allowed to call someone your boyfriend, when you can tell your parents you’re seeing someone without getting their hopes too high, and when you should stop accepting dates with other men. Can’t there just be some universal signs like, when a man wears two different color socks, he’s telling you you’re officially monogamous?           [caption id="attachment_695809" align="alignleft" width="514"] Shutterstock[/caption]

What to do when your BF’s spouse is inappropriate

We all eventually have the misfortune of discovering that a good friend’s significant other is, well, a garbage human. We either see him blatantly cheating on our friend, or we hear him be verbally abusive to in a terrifying way, or we even have him flirt with us. But how you handle the situation depends on each individual friendship. Depending on your history with that friend, your friend’s insecurities and much more, you may or may not be able to say something. If only there was some handbook that told us how to approach the topic, without blowing up our friendships. [caption id="attachment_700070" align="alignleft" width="420"] Woman in therapy. Photo: Shutterstock[/caption]

Couples counseling

Couples counseling is expensive! Can’t there just be a series of tutorials that walk you through common issues, like how to communicate better, how to prioritize one another more, how to identify when you drifted apart, how to get the spark back and so on. Maybe you could take an online test that would give you undeniable answers to questions like, “Is this worth fighting for?”             [caption id="attachment_698386" align="alignleft" width="469"]marriage proposal Shutterstock[/caption]

When the proposal is overdue

The proposal, the request to move in together, or whatever that next step is for your relationship—just because you think it’s time doesn’t mean you feel comfortable bringing it up. You may also second-guess your timeline. Maybe, due to your own personal issues, you want to rush things. Or take things too slowly. If only some little online guru could tell you the exact right time, for your specific relationship, to bring up the next step without rushing things or frightening your partner.             [caption id="attachment_703658" align="alignleft" width="380"] Shutterstock[/caption]

How to handle friends in pyramid schemes

Nobody knows what to do when their friend calls them, all cheery and chatty, and ropes them into a question like, “Would you be willing to host a little sample party at your apartment with you and all your friends to try this line of hair removal wax?” How do you tell your friend you don’t want to do this, without sounding like you don’t support her? Also, how do you tell your friend she is being duped by this company?         [caption id="attachment_702388" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

What to do when your friend has an addiction

Your friend is supposed to be your peer, your equal—your compadre! Things become a bit awkward when you feel you have to be more of a caretaker than a friend to your friend. Like when your friend clearly develops a drinking problem and does things she regrets each time she drinks, like binge eat, buy things she shouldn’t, or sleep with random men. When a friend is in the thick of an addiction, and you point it out, she often won’t see you as helpful—she’ll see you as judgmental and a buzz-kill. Can someone walk us through how to handle this dangerous situation, without pushing our friend away?     [caption id="attachment_694961" align="alignleft" width="400"] Model Release
Man Flirting with Woman
in Office[/caption]

Handling an inappropriate coworker

Men who subtly harass you are even worse than the ones who blatantly do it. At least it’s easy to accuse the men who grab your butt in the workplace. But then there are the men who fly just under the sexual harassment radar, giving you no actual evidence to work with. They know they’re doing this, too. If you talk to them about it, they’ll call you prude or stuck up, and harass you even further. If you talk to HR about it, you could become the girl who cried wolf, because you don’t have hard evidence in the form of a text or security footage.             [caption id="attachment_614693" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

How to get your partner to care about his health

Men seem to think that so long as nothing hurts, they don’t need to go to the doctor. That logic is, of course, dangerously incorrect. If you’re at the point where something hurts, you could already be in the advanced stages of a condition. Meanwhile, going in for regular physicals can help your doctor detect conditions through things like blood work and stethoscopes before those conditions cause any noticeable symptoms. So exactly how do we get our partners to get on board with that plan? [caption id="attachment_609049" align="alignleft" width="415"] Shutterstock[/caption]

How to respond to a catcall

Being catcalled, as a woman, makes your blood boil. It’s one of the most cowardice and offensive things a man can do. The man just lobs an objectifying statement out at you, leaving you with people staring at you, pitying you. Sometimes, he is in a car, and just drives off, so he doesn’t even have to face your reply. If someone could tell us exactly how to get back at these guys so they’re so terrified they never even roll down their window near a woman again, that would be great.           [caption id="attachment_714822" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

So, what’s real about nutrition these days?

Trying to track down the most accurate and up-to-date information on nutrition today feels impossible. There can be hundreds of studies about the same topic, some stating one thing, and some stating another. But tracing exactly when the research was done, and whether or not it has contended with the other information out there, is impossible. If I wanted to, I could find equally convincing information that I should, and shouldn’t, drink red wine. It would be so nice if somebody could confirm the most concrete, up-to-date and comprehensive research on hot nutrition topics.       [caption id="attachment_701103" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

How do you console a grieving friend?

When your friend is grieving over the loss of a family member or even a divorce, it can be very difficult to know when to step in and help, and when to back off. Sometimes, when you think you’re helping by encouraging your friend to get out and socialize, your friend can feel you’re being insensitive to their need to grieve. If you mention what your friend is going through, she may say she doesn’t want to talk about it. If you don’t mention it, she may think it’s insensitive you haven’t asked about it. Help!       [caption id="attachment_714248" align="alignleft" width="425"] Shutterstock[/caption]

How to get along with your parents

So many of us deal with the frustrating and sad reality that we don’t get along with our parents. On major issues, we simply do not see eye to eye. We attempt to discuss these things with our parents, but that always ends in yelling matches, and somebody going home early. But if we don’t discuss these matters, the relationship can feel strained too—like we only talk about superficial topics, to get along. Can someone please tell the many of us who fight with our families, how do we stay close, without driving each other insane?       [caption id="attachment_622682" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

How to get someone back, without a restraining order

There will come a time when you want an ex back. When you’re certain that you screwed up, and you can do better. When you know if you got one more chance, this person could be the one. Of course, communicating that to that person, when they won’t take your calls, can be hard to do. It can be especially hard to walk the line between making romantic gestures, and simply stalking somebody. Could someone please draw that line, clearly? Thank you. [caption id="attachment_715619" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

How to negotiate

In life, you’ll need to negotiate with wedding planners, mechanics, car salespeople and even doctors! Of course, the nature of your relationship with each of these professionals is very different (for example, you don’t talk to your wedding planner the same way you do your plumber). So how do you negotiate in all of these situations, such that you are heard and respected, but don’t make the other person feel underappreciated?

The post Life Tutorials We All Wish Existed appeared first on MadameNoire.

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So, What’s Going On With Kanye and Jay-Z?

July 4, 2017, 6:00 am
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Image via WENN

When Beyoncé and Jay-Z were conveniently absent from Kim and Kanye’s wedding, it looked like their friendship was on the rocks. And now, that 4:44 has been released and Jay-Z is speaking more openly about their relationship, it’s pretty clear that it’s fractured.

You dropped outta school, you lost your principles
I know people backstab you, I felt bad too
But this ‘fuck everybody’ attitude ain’t natural
But you ain’t a Saint, this ain’t KumbaYe
But you got hurt because you did cool by ‘Ye
You gave him 20 million without blinkin’
He gave you 20 minutes on stage, fuck was he thinkin’?
“Fuck wrong with everybody?” is what you sayin’
But if everybody’s crazy, you’re the one that’s insane

Now, read carefully y’all. In the first half of the stanza the “you” is Kanye and in the last half the “you” is Jay himself. So while there are reports that Kim is upset that Jay called him insane, she might want to listen again.

Either way, there’s some tension there.

And apparently, TMZ, is explaining just a piece of it…or the effect of a piece of it.

Sources claim that Kanye has been unhappy with Tidal for a while now and alleges that the company owes him more than $3 million.

According to TMZ,

“…a month ago Kanye’s lawyer sent a letter to Tidal, saying the company was in breach and the contract was terminated. Over the next 2 weeks lawyers for both sides tried to resolve the conflict but failed. We’re told 2 weeks ago Kanye’s lawyer fired off a second letter declaring again the contract was over. Kanye’s decision to split from Tidal predates the release of Jay Z’s album in which he trashes Kanye, and we’re told Kanye had no advance knowledge of Jay’s lyrics.

We’re told Kanye’s beef with Tidal is twofold — his The Life of Pablo album resulted in 1 1/2 million new subscribers to Tidal, for which he was supposed to get a bonus but the company hasn’t paid. Kanye also says Tidal reneged on reimbursing him for music videos.

Our sources say Tidal’s position is that Kanye didn’t deliver the videos required by the contract. Kanye’s response … I’ll deliver the videos when you pay me what I’m owed.

We’re told Tidal fired off a letter to Kanye, saying as far as the company was concerned it still had an exclusive contract with the rapper and if he tried to go to another streaming service they’d sue him.

We’re told Kanye’s willing to walk away, but if Tidal sues him, he’ll sue them right back…”

It’ll be interesting to see how this all plays out. And while we don’t know what happened, I would certainly hope that Tidal is not cheating Kanye out of any money he’s owed.

The post So, What’s Going On With Kanye and Jay-Z? appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Get Into Keri Hilson’s New Boo Ricardo Lockette

July 4, 2017, 7:00 am
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I don't know if you've noticed but singer and occasional actress Keri Hilson stays with a bad one. While I know I was sad to see her relationship with baller Serge Ibaka come to an end, his replacement is equally easy on the eyes. His name is Ricardo Lockette, a former NFL player who was with the Seattle Seahawks when they won the Super Bowl in 2013. We learned of Hilson's new relationship through an Instagram post that ended up on The Shade Room. I don't know if this was a post and delete but it's not on either her or Ricardo's page. Interestingly enough, after her breakup with NBA player Serge Ibaka, Hilson said that she was done with his type. Last year, she told Rolling Out that her new motto was no famous men and no athletes.
“I thought I found someone who’s also an exception. It wasn’t “enthralling” for me to date an athlete. It was on my list of “not to dos” — no rappers, no actors and no ball players. I broke my rule because I thought I found someone different..."
Now, we're wondering what Lockette whispered in her ear to get her to break her rule again. Perhaps it's the fact that he's no longer employed as an athlete. Or maybe it's because he was just too fine to pass up. Take a look at a few flicks of this man on the following pages.

Champions for life..... #Rockette

A post shared by Ricardo Lockette (@ricardolockette) on

...and he's down for the cause?

Family over everything..... #rockette

A post shared by Ricardo Lockette (@ricardolockette) on

Keep pushing, you're almost there!!!!!! #Rockette #iwantitall

A post shared by Ricardo Lockette (@ricardolockette) on

2017 will be Great because I'm in charge of it #Rockette

A post shared by Ricardo Lockette (@ricardolockette) on

Rlockette.org click link in bio ASAP!!!!!!!!

A post shared by Ricardo Lockette (@ricardolockette) on

No caption needed #Family

A post shared by Ricardo Lockette (@ricardolockette) on

L.O.B

A post shared by Ricardo Lockette (@ricardolockette) on

What's the move #Seattle #Rockette

A post shared by Ricardo Lockette (@ricardolockette) on

#iwantitall #rockette

A post shared by Ricardo Lockette (@ricardolockette) on

The post Get Into Keri Hilson’s New Boo Ricardo Lockette appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Why Couples Formed On “The Bachelor” Are Bound To Fail

July 4, 2017, 7:00 am
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[caption id="attachment_835270" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Abc.go.com[/caption] Millions of people tuned in to watch the recent season of “The Bachelor” and the show’s ratings just keep rising. The show doesn’t only appeal to the same demographic featured on the series (namely the 18 to 35 group)—“The Bachelor” has raised in the rankings for viewers ages up to 49 in recent years. But does everybody who watches the show love the show? That’s certainly up for debate, as CNN pointed out based on the rather critical Tweets of the program they rounded up in this article. Many people “hate-watch” the show, and maybe they’re right to. Do you think the women on the show are smart to put their dating adventures on national television? Or that the premise of the show is even the making of a good relationship? We don’t. Here is why couples formed on shows like “The Bachelor” are bound to fail.   [caption id="attachment_619809" align="alignleft" width="420"] Corbis[/caption]

They meet on vacation

Couples formed on “The Bachelor” are often bound to fail for the same reason long-distance relationships fail; that’s not real life. Everyone is removed from their regular responsibilities, obligations, stresses, and relationships to be on the show. Just like you are when you travel to visit your long-distance boyfriend. But once you have to be with someone in real life—with work and family and stress involved—you both change.         [caption id="attachment_620425" align="alignleft" width="389"] Corbis Images[/caption]

Many come on the show heartbroken

At some point on every season, we usually discover that the women are overcoming some tragedy—perhaps a divorce, being cheated on, losing a loved one in a tragic accident and more. The casting directors seem to love anyone who, quite frankly, should probably be in grief therapy right now instead of on a reality show. Long story short is that many of these women have wounds that still need to heal, and that can make it hard to dedicate one’s whole self to a relationship.           [caption id="attachment_698271" align="alignleft" width="468"] Shutterstock.com/Woman with a suitcase[/caption]

They often don’t live in the same states

Women are cast from all over the country. What’s supposed to happen when a bachelor from Los Angeles matches with a woman from Miami? One person will either need to uproot their life to make the relationship work, or they’ll just have to be long-distance. Neither of those options ever turns out very well.             [caption id="attachment_718323" align="alignleft" width="415"] Shutterstock[/caption]

What’s with those age differences?

It’s not uncommon for the Bachelor to be in his mid to late thirties and the women to be in their early twenties. Sure, 12 years isn’t a huge deal later in life, but the early twenties and late thirties are totally different life phases. A 24-year-old woman is still figuring out who she is, while a 36-year-old man is probably already very established in his career. And may even have a divorce under his belt. A 36-year-old man is better suited to be a mentor than a boyfriend to a woman in her early twenties.         [caption id="attachment_626767" align="alignleft" width="420"] Corbis[/caption]

The guy kind of cheated on the show

It’s no secret that the bachelor usually kisses and even sleeps with several women throughout the season. Somehow, since it’s on a show, that makes it okay. But when the final couple goes home, that woman has the knowledge that the bachelor basically cheated on her. At the very least, he has some player tendencies.           [caption id="attachment_610668" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Many have nothing else going for them

This is not coming from a place of judgment but more a place of reality. Many of the women who go on “The Bachelor” are still finding their way as individuals. Many are still in school or have a job they do not care about because they just don’t know what they want to do. When you still have the major life event of determining and pursuing your passion in front of you, it’s very hard to commit to a relationship or know what life will look like in five years. In other words, a couple may get along fine while the woman is working at a coffee shop with a predictable schedule, but what happens when she decides to go to medical school? Or start her own business? And becomes too busy to date?   [caption id="attachment_694844" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

The competition is unhealthy

The producers of “The Bachelor” know that high demand drives up the price of a product. A lot of women on the show probably think they’re attracted to the bachelor, all because other women are attracted to him. This isn’t a realistic way to assess whether or not you like someone.             [caption id="attachment_609049" align="alignleft" width="415"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Only the most aggressive can survive

Because the show is so competitive, only the women who are willing to deal with the drama—and even create some—survive. In other words, if we are honest, some of the less-than-stable women get the farthest on the show. And less-than-stable people don’t make for great romantic partners.             [caption id="attachment_620857" align="alignleft" width="420"] Corbis[/caption]

You have to be a little off to apply

We are all thinking it so let’s just say it; the mere fact somebody would want to A) Have their dating journey broadcasted on national television B) Subject themselves to competing with other women for one man and C) Be willing to accept money to be humiliated or air their dirty laundry on television means that that person probably already has a few personal issues they need to address before they should even consider being in a relationship.           [caption id="attachment_714451" align="alignleft" width="420"]You're Likely To Be Exoticized Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

The spotlight is hard on any relationship

It cannot be easy for a woman to “win” (and it’s a shame we have to use that term) the show and then read the millions of Tweets about how she’s the wrong woman for the guy, how she’s not attractive, how she’s dumb, and all the other mean things the Internet tends to sling. That amount of spotlight is bound to make even the most secure woman feel insecure and act out.           [caption id="attachment_710970" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

The bachelors tend to be loaded

Chris Soules is worth $1.5 million, as is Bob Guiney. Andrew Firestone is worth $50 million. You can find the net worth of the others online, but it’s nothing to sneeze at. What’s the point of this information? That the show probably attracts….here it is…gold diggers! I’d love to see a guy with a modest job, like the IT guy at some no-name company, be the bachelor. Then I’d love to see how many women still applied.           [caption id="attachment_611703" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Life is boring when they get home

Vacation syndrome strikes again. Everybody gets along when all they have to do is ride horses on the beach, drink champagne in hot air balloons and get couples massages. What’s there to fight about? But when the couple gets home, life will be a bit boring. What many of these couples thought was a genuine spark is probably just movie magic. And all that champagne.           [caption id="attachment_705379" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

The women just instantly like him?

“The Bachelor” isn’t like a regular matchmaking service where the women get to fill out a sheet with all the qualities they are looking for in a man, and are presented with plenty of options. Nope. They have the one option. And somehow, they all like the guy instantly? That’s not very realistic. Again, they probably tell themselves they like him because the cameras and the competition are on.           [caption id="attachment_721333" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

There’s too much pressure to succeed

The final couple is typically obligated to do several follow-up interviews, months or even a year after the show, where they show the world how well they are doing! They are smothered by the media after the show. The pressure to make it work and get along can, in fact, cause a lot of fights.             [caption id="attachment_707166" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

If that guy didn’t have an ego before…

If that bachelor didn’t think he was God’s gift to mankind before the show, he probably does after. How can a man’s ego not become enormous when over a dozen gorgeous women fight over him? And a big ego doesn’t usually make for a good partner.

The post Why Couples Formed On “The Bachelor” Are Bound To Fail appeared first on MadameNoire.

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