It’s no secret that Donald Glover is a modern day Renaissance man seeming to make magic out of whatever he touches from the Golden-Globe winning TV series Atlanta to the musical success he’s found under the stage name, “Childish Gambino”. VIBE reports after performing  a series of hits at the 2017 Governor’s Ball, the artist made an announcement that his next album will be his last.

After fans rejoiced in festival glory at the June 3^rd performance, the “Redbone” singer subtly announced his retirement, also mentioning that the Governor’s Ball would be the only time he’d perform for the year:

“Look out the final Childish Gambino album.”

But this may not be breaking news for some fans. Glover hinted at laying his rap persona to rest during an appearance on the Today Show in 2015 while on a promo run for his project The Lazarus Effect:

“I feel like Childish Gambino is a period in my life that should come to a close.”

“I like endings.”

The artist has released three albums– Camp, Because The Internet and Awaken My Love!. He’s also released a batch of mixtapes and EPs like Culdesac, Kauai and R O Y A L T Y.  There’s also a rumored collaboration between Gambino and Chance The Rapper, which back in January The Coloring Book creator confirmed exists, but gave no other details.

Honestly, me wouldn’t blame Glover for making some room for “me time” in his already busy schedule. He’s currently juggling multiple projects including Lion King, Spider-Man: Homecoming and the untitled Han Solo Star Wars film. He’s also busy with new episodes of Atlanta which he mentioned won’t air until 2018. There’s no question that even if we are in the last days of Childish Gambino, there will be plenty of Donald Glover to go around.

The post Donald Glover Announces His “Childish Gambino” Days May Be Soon Behind Him appeared first on MadameNoire.

To keep from hitting a plateau again I wanted to give my exercise regimen a boost. I decided to find the nearest indoor cycling studio and get busy. I frequent the stationary bike at the gym so I thought to myself, “how hard can this be?” Doing those hill intervals a few times for 10-20 minutes a week may have conditioned me for spinning, but it was no comparison to what was in store during my first 45-minute class at Harlem Cycle. Indoor cycling is a major calorie burner (I burned over 400 calories according to my FitBit) and can be considered a full-body workout, but to prevent you from getting winded and worn out like I did, here are five things you should know before you settle into your seat at your first spinning class.

Peddle at your own pace

There were times where we had to pick up the speed and that was not so easy for me. I didn’t want it to be so obvious that I was a newbie so I tried to keep up with the vets and wore my legs out quite quickly. The resistance will be increased and decreased throughout the class so take your time and get in your own rhythm. The more you spin, the more endurance you will have over time.

Dress light

While I was trying to catch my breath I couldn’t help but be bothered by how hot I was. My  top was long sleeved and though it was made of DriFit material, I was hot and uncomfortable. Try to wear a short sleeve or sleeveless top to your first spinning session.

Hydrate!

Since spinning is such an intense cardio workout, the sweat was pouring. I am still a rookie, so I have to push my body a little harder and challenge myself, which leads to me sweating more than average. You should be hydrated before a workout regardless, but make sure not to slip up on your H2O intake before you hit the bike. Catching a cramp due to not being hydrated enough will take you out before the class is over. (Most cycling classes provide towels, btw.)

The seat can be uncomfortable

The bike seat is not the most comfortable for our lady parts or our backside. Though you will be pedaling with your behind off of the seat for most of the class, there will be recovery times where you will sit. Your bum may be a little sore the day after too.

It’s not just all about the legs

My legs weren’t the only part of my body burning by the end of the class. Cycling targets the arms as well. During my first experience I was only lifting and lowering my upper body with my hands on the handle bars. My second go-round at SoulCycle had my arms on fire due to three-pound weights being incorporated. As we peddled away we did a circuit that worked the triceps, biceps and shoulders.  So be prepared to stretch out your entire body after a cycling class — and to possibly be sore all over the next day too.

The post 5 Things To Know Before Taking Your First Spinning Class appeared first on MadameNoire.

Whenever you embark on a new venture of any sort, there are a million and one things to consider and possibly even fear. You may ask yourself, can I really do this? Do I have enough money? Will it even work? How will I market it? But one thing most of us don’t question is whether our friends will support us. It’s a given right? They are our friends. If you can count on anyone to have your back — to say no more when you say you need something, it’s them right?

Probably not.

I don’t know you, or your friends for that matter, but I know what I’ve seen in my own life — and heard about from other people who’ve stepped out on a limb and found there were no branches (i.e. friends) out there with them.

This past Saturday I hosted my first workout class and about two weeks before the big day I was a mental wreck. I was super anxious about the turnout for the event and questioning whether I’d tried to step out and do something like this too soon since launching my own site. And that anxiety was magnified by the realization that a lot of the people I assumed would support me couldn’t care less.

As time went on, I realized all those likes and “Yaaaaasss” affirmations people wrote on social media when I posted the event flyer weren’t translating into ticket purchases. And when I paid attention to who wasn’t coming I couldn’t help but notice it was people whom I’d supported without question in the past. I’d bought their books, attended their weddings, gone to their shows, appeared on their podcasts, worked out with them, featured them on the site, brainstormed with them, and in return they gave me crickets. Meanwhile, other people whom I don’t even consider myself as close to sent me congratulatory messages saying they were sorry they couldn’t make it, or that they’d be at the next one. I didn’t even get that much from “friends” who were seemingly just pretending like my event wasn’t happen.

I was deep in my feelings about it when my trainer made an off-hand remark about friends telling him they like what he’s doing in person, but never bothering to like, share, or repost anything where it counts. As a small business owner, social media is crucial to his success and he finds those around him rather share mindless memes and celebrity news than help a budding entrepreneur build his brand. He found it disheartening to say the least.

I talked to my co-worker about it, as she’d dealt with similar feelings when she self-published her book last year. “It just makes you question, what is it?” she said of so-called friends’ reluctance to support you when you start doing your own thing. “Is it jealousy? That’s all I can conclude.”

I don’t think that’s far off the mark. It’s not always that people don’t want to see you succeed, per say, it’s that they’re frustrated they didn’t have the balls to branch out themselves and they don’t know how to praise other people while dealing with their own feelings of inadequacy. There are also others who are only comfortable being the Beyoncé of the group and they can’t handle other people in their circle getting something for themselves too. And then some people prove they weren’t really your friends all along, they just used you for what they could get out of you and never had any intention of the relationship being reciprocal. And finally, I believe there are some people who simply don’t get what it takes to win at this entrepreneurial game. They figure you don’t need their support because you have x,y,or z and unless you explicitly say, “Hey girl can you help with this?” they’re oblivious to the fact that sharing a picture and using a hashtag you created can make or break a future sponsorship.

At the end of the day, I realized the core people I really f-ck with, for lack of a better phrase, came through and supported me, and that right there was the lesson. Everybody who calls you a friend is not worthy of the title. And while I don’t regret the support I offered to others in the past, I won’t make the mistake of confusing the nature of our relationship again. My event was a success without those people and those who came are the ones who deserve my energy.

I say all that to say, check your support levels. Are you always asking for people to show up for you but when the tide turns you can’t be bothered? Have you neglected to share news about your friend’s business because she appears to be doing so well? Trust me, every little bit counts. Or have you been too busy running after the wrong friends to co-sign your venture rather than pouring into genuine followers who have your back no matter what? Support your friends like you want them to support you. Just make sure those friends are real friends.

Photo: Bigstock

The post Do You Support Your Friends Like You Want Them To Support You? appeared first on MadameNoire.

He always distracts you from your problems

He implies you talk too much about work

He criticizes you for menial matters

Telling you that you can’t trust your feelings

Saying someone else “Knows what they’re talking about”

Telling people about your mistakes

Calling your passion your hobby

Teasing that having a “real wife” would be nice

Hinting you should change your appearance

Comparing you to somebody else

Making you feel bad for your sexual needs

Seeing your work as just an interruption

Barely asking about important events

Answering questions for you

Softly suggesting you give up

The post Does Your Partner Belittle You? appeared first on MadameNoire.

Today, Bill Cosby goes on trial for allegedly drugging and sexually assaulting former Temple University employee Andrea Constand in January 2004. And as the 79 year old walked into court in Norristown, Pennsylvania, this morning, his TV daughter Keshia Knight Pulliam was right by his side.

Though a representative for Pulliam didn’t respond to People’s request for comment, Cosby’s spokesman Andrew Wyatt did speak to the magazine about why the Pulliam chose to attend the hearings along with Johnny Taylor, president of the Thurgood Marshall College Fund.

“Johnny feels Mr. Cosby has done so much for historically black colleges over his career and it’s important for him to show that support and say ‘Thank you’  because he has not been found guilty of anything. They’re coming in to hear the truth. Keshia feels the same way. She’s not here to proclaim guilt or innocence. She’s here to finally hear the truth for herself in the courtroom. She wants people to stop listening to the sensationalism and come hear the truth.”

Cosby has pleaded not guilty to the current allegations, as he has regarding similar charges from more than 50 other women, and the trial is only expected to last two weeks.

While on one hand, Pulliam’s presence at Cosby’s side isn’t all that surprising, as he did portray her father on The Cosby Show from 1984 to 1992. However, two years ago when Pulliam was fired from Celebrity Apprentice by Donald Trump for not calling Cosby to donate money to her team’s cause, she confessed they hadn’t spoken in years.

“I have not talked to Bill Cosby on the phone in I don’t know how long,” she said in 2015. “So for me to pick up the phone, having not talked to you for five years, except for when we run into each other for a Cosby event — I feel that’s not my place to do.”

Later, in an interview with the TODAY show, she also spoke on the sexual assault allegations, essentially saying they’re just “allegations” she has no knowledge of in terms of how factual they may or may not be.

“What I can say is this: I wasn’t there. No one was there except for the two people who know exactly what happened. All I can speak to is the man that I know and I love. The fact that he’s been such an example, you can’t take away from the great that he has done. You know, the amount … the millions and millions of dollars that he has given back to colleges and education, and just what he did with The Cosby Show and how groundbreaking that was. Ultimately, they’re just that, allegations. You know, it’s very much been played out in the court of public opinion. But we’re still in America, where ultimately you’re innocent until proven guilty. I wasn’t there. That’s just not the man I know. So I can’t speak to it.”

During the past two years, Pulliam and Cosby must’ve gotten back in touch for her to walk arm and arm with him as he entered the courtroom. It’ll be interesting to see if Pulliam’s perspective changes at all throughout the trial. What do you think about her being by Cosby’s side?

Photo: Getty

The post Keshia Knight Pulliam By Bill Cosby’s Side For Sexual Assault Trial; Are You Surprised? appeared first on MadameNoire.

Late last week, Khloe Kardashian shared a promo video for her new clothing line Good American. And while the Kardashian’s promoting one of their many brands is hardly news, it certainly created a cause for concern when indie designer Destiney Bleu, a Black woman, responded to it.

When someone buys 1 of everything on your site, has you make them custom @dbleudazzled work, never posts it or wears it, then copies it. 🙃 https://t.co/hylp6fcOdh

— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) June 2, 2017

Ahhhh shoot!

I didn’t even question Destiney’s tweet because I’ve written extensively about how the Kardashians have used the backs of Blacks as rungs in the ladder of success. Black features, Black hair styles, Black men and now apparently Black designers.

Destiney continued:

I was so excited to make a custom Cavs jersey for KK cuz Im from there, I bought crazy inventory because I knew theyd sell when she wore..

— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) June 2, 2017

I was also super excited when her sisters used my pieces in their lookbook, not realizing they were also passing it off as their own.

— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) June 2, 2017

Last week that clothing line hit me wanting a nude bodysuit w/nipple bursts. I asked them what it was for cuz Kk had copied one…..

— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) June 2, 2017

Of course they went ghost. Just like Khloes assistant when I sent an email calling her out.

— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) June 2, 2017

These purchases were made in December, I thought she was holding out to wear for NBA Finals. Nope. It was all being sent away to copy.

— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) June 2, 2017

I know its prolly unprofessional of me to spill the tea but I’ve had it with these non creative millionaires stealing from indie designers.

— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) June 2, 2017

Dazzle is my livelihood. I pay 3 rents, 5 employees & handmake everything. I did it w/no investment or guidance, I’ll always fight for this

— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) June 2, 2017

These are the items that were copied. The top two–with significantly less rhinestones, are the one from Khloe Kardashian’s line. And the ones on the bottom, blinding you with their glow are from dbleudazzled.

In case you’re wondering. ☕️✨ #NoFrauds pic.twitter.com/r1XPD2nJEr

— dbleudazzled ® (@dbleudazzled) June 2, 2017

In reading this story over the weekend, I saw that Destiney tweeted that she had worked some big name artists and advised folk to check her resume. I hope you’ll do the same. Because it’s more impressive than a little bit.
But for those who like to see it with their own eyes, here are a couple of pictures.

👯✨ @Beyonce x @dbleudazzled 🌎 #GlobalCitizenFestival 💎 pic.twitter.com/2vtTVUstP4

— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) September 27, 2015

.@destineybleu‘s @dbleudazzled line in the 1st 3 pics vs. Khloe’s line in the last pic. Respect the source & support black owned businesses. pic.twitter.com/7o9Ryitk6c

— Matthew A. Cherry (@MatthewACherry) June 2, 2017

So, it wasn’t like she’s been under the radar. In fact, Khloe could have seen her designs any and everywhere, on any of your faves.

After the conversation gained some traction on social media, Good American’s Instagram page responded with a few images of their own, calling them inspiration.

Here’s our forever inspo—Cher photographed by Henry Langdon, 1978. Important to know your fashion history #nofrauds

A post shared by GOOD AMERICAN (@goodamerican) on Jun 3, 2017 at 12:27pm PDT

Vintage Diana Ross. Showgirl vibes. 🌟 #inspo

A post shared by GOOD AMERICAN (@goodamerican) on Jun 3, 2017 at 1:02pm PDT

Britney in Toxic ✨✨ #inspo

A post shared by GOOD AMERICAN (@goodamerican) on Jun 3, 2017 at 1:13pm PDT

Destiney found it laughable.

No one is saying I invented crystallized bodysuits. The issue is that it was purchased with the intent to copy for profit.

— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) June 3, 2017

I didnt speak up for attention or $. Im trying to be a voice for indie designers who are stolen from because its the right thing to do.

— destiney bleu (@destineybleu) June 3, 2017

She said she’s lawyered up and has the emails to back up her claims, so it will be incredibly interesting to see how this all plays out.

The post Black Designer Accuses Khloe Kardashian Of Stealing Her Designs…And We Believe Her appeared first on MadameNoire.

If you had a crush on Chris Webber back in the day, you’re not alone. He was imaginary bae for us as well. But fast forward to the present day and Webber is a happily married man. The 44-year-old has been married to Erika Webber (née Dates) since 2009. He’s also a new father. Chris and Erika welcomed twins, a boy and a girl recently, and for the couple, it’s a blessing eight years in the making.

In posts on both of their Instagram pages, Chris and Erika opened up about going from being told that they might not be able to have children to having two at once. For the couple, the ups and downs of the past eight years has all been worth it:

Chris is celebrating the new additions to his family just in time for Father’s Day. And in a new interview with Esquire, he spoke about how his life has changed since welcoming the twins. It’s like a weight has been taken off both he and Erika’s shoulders.

“It’s taken the edge off. It’s just something my wife and I have been praying for and working toward for years. To have it happen is just—sh-t, I don’t know what to say. It’s the best feeling in the world. I don’t get any sleep, but I’m the oldest of 5, and I used to do a lot of babysitting growing up. I have a big family, so we’re used to that. But it’s amazing just seeing something that’s your own grow and develop. I’m just in awe. I’m just happy. Most days is laughing and crying at the fact that something like this happened.”

Image via Getty 

The post Chris Webber, Wife Erika Welcome Twins After 8 Years Of Trying And “More Than A Few Heartbreaks” appeared first on MadameNoire.

We’ve known about the challenges of Keyshia Cole’s relationship with her mom Frankie for a long time now. Many of us watched them play out on their reality show and know that Frankie was absent from Keyshia’s life for years because of her substance abuse problems. But for a while things seemed to be looking up. Last year, Keyshia even wrote shared  a note on Instagram commending her mother and thanking her aunt who was helping her to battle her addiction. (The post has since been deleted.)

Sadly, judging from Keyshia Cole’s latest tweets, the addiction is still plaguing her mother.

In what she later described as an attempt to share and be transparent with her fans, Keyshia tweeted about a recent conversation the two shared recently.

I told my mother the other day I was afraid to lose her because she keeps going back to the streets. You kno what she said? In return?

— Keyshia Cole (@KeyshiaCole) June 3, 2017

She said. “YOU’LL be aight”

— Keyshia Cole (@KeyshiaCole) June 3, 2017

Some people misinterpreted the moment to be more humorous than Keyshia felt it was. But she let them know how much it hurt her.

I was like. Wtf is that suppose to mean. Smh. I will NOT be ok if something happens to her. AT ALL! Not amount of money could replace https://t.co/6LsxnwL8Xq

— Keyshia Cole (@KeyshiaCole) June 3, 2017

And I was crying when I said it. I get to think she feels no pain. https://t.co/PGePQOVu20

— Keyshia Cole (@KeyshiaCole) June 3, 2017

Can’t imagine a mother sayin that to her child. Idk. Maybe I fully don’t understand her addiction. That shit hurt tho. https://t.co/AR1zwLJ3ft

— Keyshia Cole (@KeyshiaCole) June 3, 2017

Maybe she doesn’t kno what she means to me. But that’s weird when u think about it. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me https://t.co/XNHU5SFMoW

— Keyshia Cole (@KeyshiaCole) June 3, 2017

I think it’s time for that. Once again. ♀️ https://t.co/xe3jnFCDJU

— Keyshia Cole (@KeyshiaCole) June 3, 2017

Sad. Hopefully, someone or something else will be able to get through to Frankie before it’s too late.

Image via WENN

The post Keyshia Cole Fears Losing Her Mother– Frankie Says “You’ll Be Alright” appeared first on MadameNoire.

There has been a long-standing myth that Black people don’t need sunscreen. Besides not realizing the need for protection against the sun, many people of color don’t like the texture and the look of sunscreen, which often leaves white streaks on the skin. In response, two Nigerian-American businesswomen, Chinelo Chidozie and Ndidi Obidoa, have come up with a sunscreen created just for people of color.

Chidozie was born in Nigeria and Obidoa was born in Washington, DC, and moved to Nigeria shortly after she was born. Both grew up there and even attended the same high school for a brief period. They moved to the United States at different times; Obidoa to attend college and Chidozie for graduate school. They both have MBAs and had spent a combined 20 years in Corporate America before starting Bolden. Chidozie worked in finance while Obidoa worked in management consulting and Biotech. Chidozie lives in Texas and Obidoa in the Los Angeles area.

Besides the moisturizing sunscreen, The Bolden Company also specializes in making beauty products that work well for women of color. Here, he two discuss how their skincare products are shaking up the beauty world.

MadameNoire (ME): How did you come up with the idea for a sunscreen for people of color?

Chinelo Chidozie (CC): Ndidi and I are married to brothers and we go on a lot of family vacations together. On such a trip to Key West we stopped by a pharmacy to pick up some sunscreen since we were spending a lot of time outdoors.  We became frustrated because the sunscreens we bought left an unattractive white cast on us. That experience was a catalyst that eventually led us to creating Bolden.

MN: How did you fund the startup?

Ndidi Obidoa (NO): We are currently self-funded, but we’re at the point where we’ve started seeking outside investors.

MN:  What were some initial challenges?

CC: The biggest challenge we faced when we first started was in finding product manufacturers who were willing to work with us given that we were a startup and could only place small initial orders. Even getting them to return our calls was a problem. Our persistence paid off and we have been able to find great partners who bought into our vision and were willing to work with us.

MN: How did you two meet and what made you want to go into business together?

NO: We’re married to brothers who are very similar so we spend a lot of time together. We found that we have a lot in common: we’re the same age, we have complementary personalities and have very similar interests and passions.

MN: Did you both always want to be entrepreneurs?

CC: Yes! A lot of my siblings are entrepreneurs, and as is the case with many MBA graduates, our plan was to gain some good experience working in various capacities before starting out on our own. If we had followed this plan, we would have remained in the corporate world because you never feel like you have enough experience to set off on your own. We were fortunate that life and career developments at the time we started Bolden made it possible for us to take the plunge.

MN: Tell us how the products works?

CC: Our primary focus at Bolden is to solve the unique skincare problems that Black women face. With that in mind, we set to tackle the #1 skin care concern for Black women–Hyperpigmentation

We designed our line specifically to address post inflammatory hyperpigmentation, the type you get after a breakout. Our cleanser works to prevent breakouts in the first place; our Toner tightens pores and gently exfoliates, which is very important for acne prevention; our moisturizer protects from UVA and prevents further hyperpigmentation (dark spots) occurring.

Our goal was to make this sunscreen experience was as user-friendly as possible. So think of it as your three-in one moisturizer–It utilizes a chemical sunscreen to provide SPF protection, it contains a very stable form of Vitamin C which has brightening corrective properties and is a great antioxidant, and finally it is really moisturizing so you can wear it by itself or underneath your makeup.

Our nighttime serum is a glycolic acid serum that provides exfoliation of the skin’s surface cells while you sleep, helping the skin achieve the cell turnover required to eliminate hyper-pigmentation

MN: What was your goal in creating the line of products?

NO: In designing the line we realized that a lot of Black people do not use sunscreen mainly because of the misconception that they do not need it. When they finally learn the importance, there is a lot of frustration experienced trying to find one that works for their skin tone, i.e. one that will not leave a white cast on the skin. You almost have to become a sunscreen expert to know to avoid formulas that contain zinc oxide or titanium dioxide (the physical sunscreens) because of the telltale white cast. For folks who have never used sunscreen (63 percent of Black people based on a survey conducted by the skin cancer foundation), our goal was to make this initial sunscreen experience as user-friendly as possible.

So, think of our SPF 30 Brightening Moisturizer as a three-in one moisturizer. It utilizes a chemical sunscreen to provide SPF protection, it contains a very stable form of Vitamin C which has brightening corrective properties and is also a great antioxidant, and finally it is really moisturizing so you can wear it by itself or underneath your makeup.

MN: Many Black people don’t think they need sunscreen, how do you get them to try yours?

CC: By making it as easy and as comfortable to wear as their regular moisturizer.

MN: What are some goals for 2017 and long-term?

CC: Our goals for the rest of 2017 is to successfully launch the four products currently in development. We also are developing a full-body SPF which we hope to launch in spring 2018.

The post Nigerian Businesswomen Create Unique Sunscreen For People Of Color appeared first on MadameNoire.

Photo Credit: Judy Eddy/WENN.com

When Deshauna Barber was crowned Miss USA 2016, it set off a whirlwind year of Black Girl Magic, but, as has come to be expected, not everyone was excited about the brown-skinned beauty representing the United States, particularly people abroad.

In a piece on Refinery 29 about her experience as Miss USA from the moment the crown landed on her head to her proudly passing on the title to another curly haired beauty, Kára McCullough, this year, Barber details the racism she endured and that bold choice to showcase her natural mane during this year’s pageant.

“After winning the title, I had people say I was using the military card for my win, along with other hateful things. And while competing for Miss Universe, I had to deal with colorism internationally. A lot of people in different countries considered me ugly because my skin is darker. The darker you are, the poorer you are — or whatever the case may be.

“Competing in Miss Universe and dealing with the fans of competitors in other countries got tough. I had no idea how much racism I would experience from an international standpoint. They’d send me monkey emojis, and say that my skin looked like a poop emoji and tag me in photos with apes… I didn’t speak about it, because I didn’t want to deter anyone from competing. You want to make it seem like everything is happy and hunky-dory, but there are a lot of very challenging moments.

The post Deshauna Barber On The International Racism She Received As Miss USA: They Said My Skin Looked Like A Poop Emoji appeared first on MadameNoire.

Kirk Franklin and wife Tammy have been married for more than 20 years and have been open about their share of ups and downs. That includes Kirk’s past addiction to pornography, which they talked about on The Oprah Winfrey Show in 2005. But that hasn’t stopped the couple from going strong.

Tammy revealed that one of the ways they keep the fire going is by doing the things they did when they were just dating. That includes making time for date night, and in Tammy’s case, pulling out the wedges and paying attention to the things Kirk loves. As she put it, she likes to be her husband’s girlfriend:

As her caption read, “I love being his wife but I’m also very intentional about staying his girlfriend! I knew he wouldn’t mind me wearing the flat sandals that I thought about wearing, but I chose to wear the wedges that I know he loves. I pay attention to what makes him smile😉! I share this not because I’ve always done it perfect but I grew to learn the balance. Although sometimes he gets my bonnet lol, he should also get his Boo!”

But what keeps their marriage working is more than just some wedge heels and nights out on the town. Tammy, while speaking in an interview with Kirk on Get Up! Mornings With Erica Campbell in February, said they’ve been able to get to this point by communicating, acknowledging when they hit bumps in the road and not being afraid or ashamed to take part in counseling. It’s all been integral in a marriage that started in 1996.

“We got married at 25 and we’re different people now. Kirk and I have never wanted to be those people who sit at a table and not be talking,” Tammy said. “There was one particular time, I don’t know what year it was in our marriage, when we looked up and we were those people. I remember us looking at each other and it broke our heart. And I was like, ‘I don’t like this.’ So it begins too just with a conversation of, ‘I don’t like where we are and can we start again?’ And that’s what we did. ”

She added, “I think that as a culture we kind of shy away from counseling and therapy, but it’s important. It says that you love each other enough, love yourself enough to get the help that you need. And so we’ve done counseling; it has saved our marriage. We pray together and I’m not only his wife, but I’m his girlfriend.”

The post Kirk Franklin’s Wife Tammy Says You Should Never Stop Being Your Husband’s Girlfriend appeared first on MadameNoire.

It takes no agency in a solution

It implies no one else suffers

It’s an excuse for bad behavior

And it excuses you from apologizing

Have you even seen a therapist?

It begs someone to fix you

It’s an excuse to hide

It excuses poor choices

It’s disrespectful to your friends

It’s a bit emo

It’s a cry for attention

It gives away too much power

There are actual broken people out there

It’s ungrateful

It attracts the wrong people

The post Why Calling Yourself Broken Is A Cop-Out appeared first on MadameNoire.

I get it. Life can be pretty hectic with various obligations including work, school, housework and possibly children, so we all need something to help us wind down. To take your mind off of your reality, you might choose to read a book, browse through Netflix or indulge in TV shows that focus on other people’s reality.

It would be hypocritical of me to judge people for watching these types of shows, as I, too, have reveled in them. However, there’s one show that I won’t watch a single minute of. Real Sidechicks of Charlotte is currently in production, and although it hasn’t been picked up by a TV network, it already has a lot of people talking about it.

Some have voiced their disgust with the concept of the show while others have shared in their excitement over it. Unfortunately, this show will most likely get plenty of airtime on a main network. Let’s face it, people want to see mistresses fighting and cussing out women over a man who doesn’t publicly acknowledge them, as depicted in one of the show’s Instagram posts.

I get the draw to take part in it. Being a star on reality TV has become a symbol of success in our society, which means some people will subject themselves to almost anything to be a part of it, regardless of how embarrassing it could be in the future. I can only imagine the casting call verbiage: “Filming new series about mistresses! Women who have no shame and who can’t find their own man, please respond ASAP!”

It’s almost comical to think about as a reality TV enthusiast. But as a married woman, there’s nothing funny about it. This show sends so many wrong messages.

First, it glamorizes taking part in the collapse of a marriage. Since when did being a side chick become a worthy title? I will admit that I rooted for Scandal‘s Olivia and Fitz from the beginning. I even went to great lengths to justify his cheating, having a social media debate with a male friend about how unhappy Fitz was in his marriage. However, Olivia is the heroine of sorts in the series, and well, that was just fiction. Not to mention, their relationship wasn’t the central focus of the show — at least not in the beginning.

Secondly, it teaches our girls that it’s okay to play second fiddle to another woman. I would never want my daughters to grow up thinking that being second best is okay, particularly in terms of relationships. I hope the series shows the truth about the lives of mistresses. How lonely these women are on major holidays, their birthdays and how they don’t get to meet important people in the men’s lives. I’m sure each woman on this show may think they have a great reason and think they can justify being with a married man, but at what point will their self-esteem be called into question? Will the show explore that aspect of things?

Thirdly and finally, it’s one thing to mess with married men, but another to broadcast it and possibly cause embarrassment to that man’s wife and children (if any are in the picture). There’s no need for them to bring the world into the drama they helped to create.

Now, I’m not slut-shaming these women as any woman has the right to sleep with whomever she pleases — just not someone else’s husband. But I will say that if these women wanted to do their dirt in the dark, in the dark is where they should stay — not possibly featured front and center on our TV screens.

The post As A Married Woman, The Last Thing I Want To See On TV Is Real Sidechicks Of Charlotte appeared first on MadameNoire.

Most of us can’t even begin to imagine the sacrifices professional athletes make for the sake of their sport, their team, and, yes, the W. In her new memoir, Olympic Gold Medalist Sanya Richards-Ross reveals a daunting decision she made just weeks before the 2008 Olympic games. After finding out she and her then-financé Aaron Ross were unexpectedly pregnant just as they were both starting their professional athletic careers, she had an abortion.

“Everything I ever wanted seemed to be within reach,” she writes in Chasing Grace: What the Quarter Mile Has Taught Me about God and Life. “The culmination of a lifetime of work was right before me. In that moment, it seemed like no choice at all. The debate of when life begins swirled through my head, and the veil of a child out of wedlock at the prime of my career seemed unbearable. What would my sponsors, my family, my church, and my fans think of me?

“Over the phone, we didn’t go into details,” the 32-year-old explains of she and her now-husband’s silent decision to abort, “As if not saying it would alleviate some of the guilt and the shame.”

Because Aaron, who went on to play for the New York Giants, was in training camp, Sanya had the abortion alone “quickly,” People notes. But healing from the emotional wound it left proved not to be as rapid as the procedure itself.

“I made a decision that broke me, and one from which I would not immediately heal. Abortion would now forever be a part of my life. A scarlet letter I never thought I’d wear. I was a champion— and not just an ordinary one, but a world-class, record-breaking champion. From the heights of that reality I fell into a depth of despair.”

The very next day Sanya flew to Beijing for the Olympics, against her doctor’s recommendation that she avoid exercise for two weeks following the procedure. During the race on July 1 she caught a cramp in her hamstring and landed in third place “broken, physically and emotionally.”

And it wasn’t just the loss on the track that hurt Sanya, it was also the feeling of abandonment from Aaron.

“I always harbored some resentment toward Ross. It was our mess-up, but I felt abandoned in the decision,” she writes. “It was like by not saying anything, neither agreeing nor opposing, he kept his conscience clear, but it wasn’t fair. We were in it together.

“[Ross] explained to me that he was just as burdened by the decision as I was. He believed that our child in 2008 was a blessing we had rejected by always wanting to be in control.”

Nine years later, the couple has been able to put that painful moment in time behind then, announcing on Valentine’s Day of this year that they are expecting.

Explaining the title of her book and her decision to reveal her abortion to ESPN, Sanya said:

“The name of the book is called ‘Chasing Grace.’ Chasing is something I’ve been doing all my life. I’m chasing gold medals; I’m chasing records, and chasing the best version of myself. So, for me, if I didn’t share the toughest moment in my life where I felt God’s grace the most, it would be disingenuous to this journey. I think there are lots of young girls who experience this especially female athletes. I look forward to having more discussions about it and helping young women heal from it.”

The post “I Made A Decision That Broke Me:” Sanya Richards-Ross Reveals Abortion Weeks Before 2008 Olympics appeared first on MadameNoire.

One of the pieces of advice I gave to a girlfriend of mine who is getting married this year, based on my own experiences planning my nuptials last year, was to make time time for the things that help her combat stress. Take a break from planning when it becomes draining. Go on date nights with the future hubby. Lean on family. But how does one get through this process when it’s family who brings the most stress?

After seemingly being able to get through these last few months without too many bumps in the road, my friend ran into a major roadblock on her planning journey. It was her mother. Because my friend is the first child in her family to get married, her mother wanted to pull out all the stops and try to have around 200 guests. But my friend, who has already put down a deposit for her venue, obtained a space that could only take 150 people at the very most. It shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Well, her mother is livid. She believes that she should be able to bring all of the people she wants to, without limits. She’s the mom. It’s something that my friend and her mom have argued about as of late. And while it’s one thing to be upset about not getting your way, it’s another to boycott your child’s nuptials.

That’s exactly what’s happening. My friend text me to update me on things, and as it turns out, her mother said that if she can’t have things the way she wants, she won’t go to the wedding. To make matters worse, she’s also tried to discourage other relatives from attending in an effort to drive the point home that she wants things her way. It’s something my friend has said that she’s cried about. A lot.

I had never heard of such antics, particularly from the bride’s mother of all people. But making a fuss about wedding invites, so much so that a relative decides not to attend because they can’t get their way, isn’t new. Within the last month, I’ve seen the turmoil such decisions can cause a family on multiple reality shows. There was Michael Conrad Braxton Sr., the patriarch of the Braxton family, who decided not to attend Trina’s wedding because of the fact that he couldn’t bring his second wife. This is the woman he had a long relationship with during his marriage to Ms. Evelyn. All five daughters assumed that it was their father’s wife who kept him from attending Trina’s wedding, but in reality, it was a decision he made to make a statement. The statement was that his children were not going to tell him who he could bring around and what he could do. Despite trying to put his foot down, he didn’t make it known years ago. Instead, he allowed his family to assume it was his wife who encouraged him not to come around, letting her take the fall. The women were shaken, particularly Trina and Tamar.

And on the current season of Married at First Sight, Sheila Downs (who is married to Nate Duhon) has been quarreling with her sister, whom we haven’t seen on the show. Her sister didn’t attend the wedding because out of the 25 people Downs could invite to the ceremony, she didn’t have enough room to invite her sister’s long-time boyfriend. As she put it, she’s only had a few conversations with her sister’s boyfriend over the years, and out of all of her favorite people she wanted present when she married a man she was meeting for the first time, he wasn’t one of them. Her sister, angered at the move, made it clear that if her man could be present, she wouldn’t be either. It created a rift in their relationship (her sister allegedly said some pretty harsh things), so much so that their parents tried to get involved.

In all of these cases, I couldn’t imagine having a wedding without my sister, my father or my mother present. However, there was a sensible reason in every case, why these people couldn’t bring the guests they wanted. Sheila Downs wanted the people in the room with her on her big day to be those she’s closest to. Trina Braxton didn’t want the woman her father cheated and caused their mother a lot of pain with to be there, with Ms. Evelyn present as well, on her wedding day. And my friend, well, she couldn’t afford to rent a space for her reception that could fit 200 people. In each situation, certain decisions were made because that is what the bride and groom desired. Considering that the entire day is about them and about creating positive memories and not going broke, you would hope that your family, of all people, would understand and not try and throw a wrench into things, making it about them instead.

But with all that being said, what happens when they don’t understand? Must the show go on or is it important to try and meet them halfway?

The post What Do You Do When Your Family Boycotts Your Wedding? appeared first on MadameNoire.

#tdov #transdayofvisibility 💫🌈 #marshapjohnson #payitnomind #transhistory [photo from Randy Wicker’s collection]

A post shared by Pay It No Mind Hats (@payitnomind) on Mar 31, 2017 at 11:46am PDT

June is Pride month in New York City, culminating in the march on June 25. So naturally, that fact is being reflected on social media and a couple of days ago, I stumbled across a meme that in celebration of the month, mentioned that Black Trans women need to not only be respected and protected, but acknowledged for starting the whole pride movement to begin with.

Well isn’t that something? While it was certainly new information to me, I can’t say I’m entirely surprised. We already know that Black women are often at the forefront of revolutionary change.

In that spirit, Netflix has acquired the rights to stream the David France documentary The Death and Life of Marsha P. Johnson, a film that premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival.

The film explores the death of Johnson, a trans icon and advocate, often called the “Rosa Parks of the LGBT movement.”

In 1992, Johnson’s body was found floating in the Hudson River. Initially, authorities ruled it a suicide. But Victoria Cruz, a crime victim advocate, started digging into the realties of what happened to Marsha as well as the challenges facing the LGBT community.

During her life, Johnson played an integral in the Stonewall uprising of 1969, where members of the community fought back violently after police raided the Stonewall Inn on June 28, 1969. The event is considered the single most important one in the fight for gay liberation. The very next year, in 1970, Pride events were established in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and San Francisco.

That same year, Johnson, alongside Sylvia Rivera, founded the first trans-rights organization Street Transvestites Action Revolutionaries or STAR.

The documentary will stream later this year.

You can watch this interview with Marsha and the people who knew her well in the video below.

The post Netflix Buys Rights To Stream The Death and Life Of Marsha P. Johnson appeared first on MadameNoire.

Over and over again, people of color have tried to spread the message that diversity isn’t just about plopping one woman, one Black person or one trans man in an ad and going, “There, are you happy now?” If you’re going to be diverse, everything has to support that mission, from using lighting that compliments non-white skin tones to employing makeup and hairstylists who know how to care for a variety of skin tones and hair textures. On that last note, it looks like Victoria’s Secret didn’t get the memo, according to Black Twitter who’s calling foul on the way a young Black girl’s hair was styled — or not so much — to model their swimwear.

Crowned by China is the Twitter user who rang the alarm after stumbling on the photo below on Victoria’s Secret’s website, and sis has a point. While I totally get the wispy, beach braid look the brand was going for that ish doesn’t work on relaxed strands. And even if someone wanted to try it, by the time these pictures were in post-production someone should’ve raised their hand and said, “Umm no.”

Black lives matter! Say her name! We gotta help sis out!!! VICTORIA GOT SIS FUCKED UP! pic.twitter.com/V0JSNOnPgw

— SoulFUL Sunflower. (@CrownedByChina) June 6, 2017

That sentiment is echoed in the 5,000-plus retweets this post has received. And some have taken to calling out other brands like ASOS who tried it with this mess of a back knot.

Saw this one a few weeks ago on ASOS 😒😒😒 pic.twitter.com/fieIbClmFt

— Rum Cake (@NzingaSays) June 6, 2017

In Victoria’s Secret’s defense, the hairstyle in question isn’t the only one they tried on the model, it’s just the worst. Here you can see the same girl with a ponytail, straight strands, a bun, and braids, which, in my opinion, they should’ve stuck with.

But then, sadly, it’s right back to the bad sideswept ponytail that’s doing no one any favors.

Looked at by itself, that messy braid look was really just a hot mess. But given that the other hairstyles that were tried on the model were done so successfully, I’m not mad at this one flub. But I definitely don’t want to see that mess again. What’s your verdict?

The post Are You As Mad At How Victoria’s Secret Did This Model’s Hair As Black Twitter? appeared first on MadameNoire.

In an interview with The Breakfast Club this morning to promote his memoir, I Can’t Make This Up: Life Lessons, Kevin Hart was asked about why he made certain admissions in the book, because at this point in his career, he doesn’t have to. Those admissions include behaviors that led up to his 2013 DUI and the violence that was part of his marriage to ex-wife Torrei. Kevin said that he wanted to remind his fans that he’s like the rest of us and he’s made mistakes.

“This is information that I’m sharing to simply show that the person you see is human,” he said.

Hart has said in the past that he “messed up” his first marriage. “I was young on my first marriage,” he said while speaking with Chelsea Handler in 2016. “I’m not ashamed to say it, guys. I got married at the age of 22. I was still all over the place. I didn’t really understand the definition of marriage. I wasn’t ready for it, so I take responsibility. I can say I messed my first marriage up. I’m man enough to say that. And at the same time, that was when I was in the prime of my sexy, so don’t blame me. Don’t blame me! That’s when I was figuring it out.”

But in his new chat with The Breakfast Club, Hart admitted (around the 18-minute mark) that it was more than just a lack of understanding or cheating that impacted the marriage. There was also violence. Hart said he knew then that things were incredibly unhealthy and they both needed to move on.

“Everything collapses off of bad judgment,” the comedian stated. “I said, ‘Why am I living to make an easy wrong?’ Just go ahead and get rid of that. Let’s ex that out. Me and my ex wife, it got violent. We were fighting. ‘Am I really holding my hands up as if she’s a man right now? Oh my God. Yo this is — I’m out!’ I really got my hands up to not defend but counter. Like I’m waiting for you to throw a punch because I’m about to counter the sh-t out of you. I’m that upset to where I got a stance? That’s when I checked myself.”

He continued, “Me and my ex got into it and I took a stance like, ‘Ok, I’m waiting,’ because I was going to dip and then bow! I’m like, ‘Oh my God! I’m gone. I’ve lost it. At what level of anger am I at that I’ve gotten here?’ I was like, ‘Alright Kev, you’re going to take responsibility. Whether she did whatever she did, you got to start taking responsibility.’ And when I started doing that, that’s when I started to grow. That’s when I started to get better.”

Despite all of the past drama and violence, Kevin and Torrei have found a way to peacefully and happily co-parent. He told Handler that they’re in an “amazing place” these days. “We’re friends, we’re great parents, we’re co-parents.”

The post Kevin Hart Reveals There Were Times Marriage To Torrei Was Violent appeared first on MadameNoire.

Ever since I moved to New York City, my feet have given me trouble. Consistently pounding the pavement in flats, along with trying to make time to exercise, got me diagnosed with plantar fasciitis and left me going to sleep with a boot on for months. It was quite terrible. Even though my foot has seemingly regained its strength, I don’t take any chances. I no longer where flats, and that includes the average sandal. But what is a girl to do when the summer months come about?

That’s when flatforms come in handy. They’re amazing, actually. Think of any shoe style you love with a platform on the bottom. That’s how it works. They’re like wedges, but with less chance for you to twist your ankle and fall. And when summertime comes around, they not only come in cute styles that give you height, but they also, through the elevation, provide your feet with comfort. They’re also a great alternative to somewhat uncomfortable high heels. Check out five styles are toes are excited to try for the skin-bearing season that is upon us.

Superega 2790 Cotmultifoxing W $76

ASOS Tijuana Multi Pom Flatforms $48

Tommy Hilfiger Madie Sandal $60

Cole Haan Zerogrand Sandal $100

Steve Madden Jericho Sandal $70

The post 5 Flatforms For The Fashion-Forward Woman With Heel And Arch Pain appeared first on MadameNoire.

Just when I think about the level of disgust for T.I. cannot grow any further, he does something else to prove just how little respect he has for women generally and his soon to be ex wife, Tiny, specifically.

Today, is Logan’s, Tamar Braxton’s son, first birthday. Now you may remember that Tiny was appointed godmother to this little boy. As Tamar is the godmother to Tiny’s daughter Heiress. But since Tamar’s dismissal from “The Real,” a couple of their mutual friends have decided to go on the show in her absence. And while Tamar felt a way about it, Tiny recognized that it was about business. And did not fault her friends from appearing with her former co-hosts.

As such, Tamar felt she had been betrayed. And from the little tidbits we read about on social media, the two haven’t spoken since.

So that puts them in a particular predicament when it comes to their godchildren. It’s hard to foster a relationship with a child, specifically a young one, when you’re not on speaking terms with his or her mother.
Still, despite their drama, Tiny took time out to wish little Logan a happy birthday, sharing this picture.

Oh my baby Logan is 4 today.. Happy Happy birthday cutie… your God mommy loves & misses u much🙏🏽👑 #YouSoCleanLogie

A post shared by Majorgirl (@majorgirl) on Jun 6, 2017 at 10:41am PDT

It was a nice gesture.

But it was soured by a comment left her “friend” and soon-to-be ex husband, T.I.

“Happy Gday Logan!!!! Growing up into a real polished young gentleman. Aight @majorgirl & @tamarbraxton now y’all both get off y’all diva shit & get on ya god mama shit. Y’all too damned grown for this shit now!!!!”

Does T.I. have a point? Perhaps. We really don’t know how fractured the relationship, how much damage has been done or whether both of them even want to save it. What I do know is that T.I. is a hypocrite. After what he’s done to his wife publicly, he is the absolute last person who should be chiming in to say anything other than happy birthday. After all, it would appear that he doesn’t know too much about loyalty. Perhaps he doesn’t know and he certainly doesn’t care about preserving relationships. He was quick to tell Angie Martinez that he doesn’t get involved in “women’s business” when it came to his wife confronting his mistress but here he is climbing all up in the middle of Tiny and Tamar. He actually could and should have said something about Tiny and Bernice. Tiny and Tamar? Not so much.

T.I. was out of line when he tried to issue mandates to Tiny via the internet before, while they were still married, and now that they’re on the road to divorce, he certainly doesn’t have a say. Furthermore, if he felt so moved by the occasion of Logan’s birthday that he wanted to mend fences, he should have texted her instead of putting it on the internet. Then again, this is how T.I. gets down and perhaps even gets off–embarrassing his wife.

Interestingly enough, when Tamar was asked about the nature of Tiny and T.I.’s marriage, she took the high road.
During an interview with Power 105.1 she said, “That’s my best friend and her husband. I don’t really want to comment on that. If that was my marriage, I could tell you about my marriage. I can’t tell you about what’s going on in somebody else’s relationship. Just hope for the best and pray for everybody who’s married because it’s tough. It’s not easy. It’s not a walk in the park.”

Now that we’re discussing the relationship between women, T.I. should take a page out of Tamar’s book.

Image via WENN

The post They May Be Headed For Divorce But T.I. Is Still Trying To Tell Tiny What To Do appeared first on MadameNoire.