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How To Pee Less During The Night

May 11, 2017, 5:00 am
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[caption id="attachment_830408" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/Woman with hands holding her crotch she wants to pee - urinary incontinence concept[/caption] There are people with true insomnia out there—they struggle to fall asleep, get into a deep sleep and stay asleep. Their brain races in the evening and they cannot shut it off. Perhaps every single sound or movement their partner makes jolts them from their rest. Maybe you’re fortunate enough to not be one of those people but you have perhaps an even more infuriating thing going on; you’re actually a great sleeper but your bladder keeps waking you up. If you have the gift of falling into great REM cycles each night, it feels like an utter shame to have that destroyed by the need to go. Especially because it feels like that’s something you have little control over. But that’s a lie; you can control it. Here is how to pee less during the night. [caption id="attachment_695084" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Cut the caffeine

Even having caffeine in the afternoon can keep you up with a full bladder at night. The diuretic effects of just one cup of coffee can last for hours after drinking it. If caffeine acts as your afternoon pick-me-up, it may be time to switch to naps.         [caption id="attachment_735493" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Shutterstock[/caption]

Easy on the booze

Alcohol is a serious diuretic. Just one glass of wine could cause you to get up several times during the night. Find a non-liquid way to wind down at night.             [caption id="attachment_713789" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Avoid spicy foods

Spicy foods make you thirsty and cause you to drink more liquids than you normally would. They can also cause a slight burning sensation down south that mimics the urge to go.             [caption id="attachment_699551" align="alignleft" width="468"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Don’t eat this fruit at night

Stay away from oranges, grapefruit, tangerines, watermelon, cantaloupe, strawberries, pineapple and peaches at night. These all have high water contents and can cause you to urinate often.             [caption id="attachment_700518" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Skip artificial sweeteners

Artificial sweeteners can cause the bladder to constantly contract, so it wants to send out every bit of urine, even when the bladder is not full. If you’ve switched from regular to diet soda recently, you may find yourself peeing more.         [caption id="attachment_706971" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Stay regular

Keep in mind that your rectum and your bladder are next-door neighbors. If one is full, it puts pressure on the other. Staying regular and emptying out your bowels daily can help alleviate pressure on your bladder.           [caption id="attachment_693890" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Avoid carbonated beverages

Most carbonated drinks contain either artificial sweeteners which, as stated before, make you pee. Read the label on all drinks because even those claiming to be healthy often contain artificial sweeteners. Furthermore, many of them have sodium, which makes you thirsty and causes you to drink more.     [caption id="attachment_621478" align="alignleft" width="535"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Do hip and thigh exercises

Your hip and thigh muscles are closely connected to your pelvic ones. Keeping your hips and thighs strong help keeps the pelvic floor strong. Try hip flexors and squats. [caption id="attachment_707169" align="alignleft" width="421"]take him back Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Recognize it may be in your head

Often it isn’t the need to pee but rather the worry that one might need to pee that keeps them awake. There’s a chance your subconscious brain wakes you up because you’re worried about waking up to pee—it’s a terrible cycle. Try doing meditation or listening to subliminal message tapes to eliminate this thought process.     [caption id="attachment_707907" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Kegels

There’s nothing like good old Kegels to keep the muscles strong down there and prevent leakage. Kegels keep your bladder and pelvic floor muscles strong, so small amounts of urine won’t cause an urge to go as much.           [caption id="attachment_624560" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Keep your legs up during the day

Keeping your legs elevated during the day allows for fluid circulation. Frequent urination at night could just be the result of fluid retention during the day.           [caption id="attachment_626578" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Make sure you don’t have sleep apnea

Your nighttime bathroom visits could be the result of sleep apnea. This condition produces an antidiuretic hormone that causes fluid retention, and a frequent need to go. [caption id="attachment_625364" align="alignleft" width="425"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Only acknowledge a full bladder

Train your brain to understand you will not get up for every tiny amount of urine in your bladder. If you wake up and sense your bladder is barely full, force yourself to go back to bed. Slowly but surely, your brain should start to understand that it should only send you signals when you truly need to empty your bladder.       [caption id="attachment_624907" align="alignleft" width="460"]black woman drinking water Corbis[/caption]

Know how much water you need

There is a good chance you drink too much water. There is such a thing. If you’re one of those individuals who carries a giant jug around with them each day, but you lead a rather sedentary lifestyle, it’s possible you just drink too much H2O.       [caption id="attachment_609316" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Create a better sleep environment

Your bladder may not even be what’s waking you up; perhaps it’s your sleep environment. But you notice your bladder each time you wake up, so you believe that’s what disturbed your rest. Make sure you have a dark, quiet and peaceful sleep environment. Get earplugs, a sound machine, and a sleep mask if you have to.

The post How To Pee Less During The Night appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Black Lives Matter Organizations Working To Free Incarcerated Women For Mother’s Day

May 11, 2017, 11:23 am
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I’m a bit clairvoyant every once in a while and I get the feeling that there are some folks out there who don’t really know what it is that the Black Lives Matter organization does outside of the protesting and tweeting.

So it is my great pleasure to present you with some receipts.

According to The Nation, Black Lives Matter is giving more than 30 incarcerate women their freedom, just in time for Mother’s Day.

As the subheadline states, “These women are in jail not because they’ve been convicted of a crime but because they can’t pay to get back to their lives as they await trial.”

The organization will help free more than 30 women in over a dozen jails across the country.
Southerners on New Ground (SONG), The Movement for Black Lives and ColorOfChange and other groups have come together to raise $250,000 for what they’ve dubbed the National Mama’s Bail Out Day.

The organizations are still accepting donations, if you’re interested in contributing.

Many of the women who will be freed from jail have cases that represent what is wrong with our criminal justice system. These women are in jail for low level offenses such as loitering and small-scale drug possession.
I don’t even have to tell you about the racial disparity when it comes to incarceration. Black women make up 44 percent of the women in jails.

The women who will be bailed out are being held in jails in Atlanta, Houston, Minneapolis, Los Angeles etc. The idea for the bailout came in January during a gathering of 25-Black led organizations who sought to collaborate on bail reform and enact part of the goal outlined by the Movement for Black Lives’ policy platform.

During the meeting, Mary Hooks, co-director of Atlanta’s LGBTQ organizing group SONG that works on economic and social justice issues said suggested “using our collective resources to buy each others’ freedom.” It was a thought embraced by the others in attendance.

The term mother, as Hooks described, is broad.

“When we talk about black mamas, we know that mothering happens in a variety of ways,” Hooks said. “Whether it’s the mothers in the clubs who teach the young kids how to vogue, or the church mothers who took care of me.”

The Nation adds, women who are birth mothers and chosen mothers will be eligible to be bailed out.

The bailouts are scheduled to happen today and tomorrow with a Mother’s Day event to follow.

The post Black Lives Matter Organizations Working To Free Incarcerated Women For Mother’s Day appeared first on MadameNoire.

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11 Reminders That EJ Johnson’s Wardrobe Is Better Than Yours

May 11, 2017, 12:03 pm
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EJ Johnson style People can try and say what they want about EJ Johnson (please, no hate below), but the truth is, Earvin III slays. Ever since the 24-year-old had gastric sleeve surgery and lost almost 200 pounds thanks to it (as well as a change in diet and a healthy exercise regimen), he's changed up his style 100 percent. It's understandable. He went from being covered in capes to wearing all things sheer with mesh, high slits and a fly fur on top. "My style has changed drastically," Johnson told PEOPLE last year. "I’m always scantily clad or showing skin and wearing bodycon stuff. This is the way I’ve always wanted to dress and I can pretty much fit into anything I want — I am just having literally a ball. Walking outside is so exciting for me now." With his designer pieces, beat face and confidence, Johnson's "gender fluid" looks could put some of our closets to shame. Check out the EJ Johnson style and don't hate -- appreciate. https://www.instagram.com/p/BT7_Yu_AluR/?taken-by=ejjohnson_&hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/BLxWJbVDGi7/?taken-by=ejjohnson_&hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/BTfuN7pAyST/?taken-by=ejjohnson_&hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/BJblcfQhrbM/?taken-by=ejjohnson_&hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/BGsUtAMRuAq/?taken-by=ejjohnson_&hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/BGKUJH-xuO1/?taken-by=ejjohnson_&hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/BBIvVLURuBE/?taken-by=ejjohnson_&hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/BAdyTunxuIR/?taken-by=ejjohnson_&hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/-xNAdTxuO_/?taken-by=ejjohnson_&hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/BHijGI-hgMd/?taken-by=ejjohnson_&hl=en https://www.instagram.com/p/BHJK-e0hQYx/?taken-by=ejjohnson_&hl=en Images via Splash, WENN and Instagram 

The post 11 Reminders That EJ Johnson’s Wardrobe Is Better Than Yours appeared first on MadameNoire.

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The Not-Too-Early Summer Movie Preview

May 11, 2017, 12:30 pm
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[caption id="attachment_825747" align="aligncenter" width="1068"] Credit: New Trailer Buzz/YouTube[/caption] After months of cold, the temperatures are finally starting to rise and in just a few short weeks, summer will be knocking on our doors. And while getting some quality beach time in is high on our agenda, so is heading to the movies to check out this year's slate of summer blockbusters. From Idris Elba's hotly anticipated "The Dark Tower" to the ultimate girls' comedy with some of our favorite actresses, summer 2017 is poised to be a strong showing in the cinema. Need a primer on what's worth dropping some cash on at the theater? MadameNoire has you covered with our not-too-early summer movie preview.

Girls Trip

What happens when four lifelong friends decide to go on the ultimate girls trip down to New Orleans for Essence Music Festival? Drinking and debauchery that's what. In the aptly titled "Girls Trip," Jada Pinkett Smith, Queen Latifah, Regina Hall and Tiffany Haddish take the Big Easy by storm and in the process reinvigorate their years-old friendship and channel their younger, more carefree -- and sexier -- days. [caption id="attachment_825744" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Summit Entertainment[/caption]

All Eyez on Me

June 16th can't come soon enough for "All Eyez On Me" to hit screens. The much-anticipated biopic on rapper, actor and revolutionary Tupac Shakur will be released on what would have been his 46th birthday. Starring newcomer Demetrius Shipp, Jr., "All Eyez On Me" will chronicle Tupac's life from his early days to his fatal shooting in Las Vegas. "Walking Dead" stars Danai Gurira and Lauren Cohan also star in the film, along with Jamal Woolard, Kat Graham and Annie Ilonzeh. [caption id="attachment_825749" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures[/caption]

Everything, Everything

Based on the young adult novel of the same name, "Everything, Everything" tells the story of Maddy (played by Amandla Stenberg), a teenager who suffers from severe combined immunodeficiency, making her unable to venture outside her home without suffering from fainting spells. When her new neighbor Olly begins to develop feelings for her, navigating the budding relationship becomes a challenge. This one is bound to be a tear-jerker, but if you need a good cry and a great story, this could be the one for you. [caption id="attachment_825748" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: New Trailer Buzz/YouTube[/caption]

The Dark Tower

Part sci-fi, part western, part thriller and all awesome, "The Dark Tower" is one of the most exciting films hitting screens in 2017. Though its been in the works for years, the movie's finally coming to life with Idris Elba as its star. Based on a series of Stephen King tales, "The Dark Tower" explores the proverbial battle between good and evil, but in a landscape that will captivate fans of all genres. [caption id="attachment_825746" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Paramount Pictures[/caption]

Baywatch

While the "Baywatch" of yesteryear might be synonymous with David Hasselhoff and Pam Anderson's boobs jiggling in slow motion, this summer's "Baywatch" might have a little more for the ladies. Sure will there be half-naked chicks frolicking around the beach? Yes. But with Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron in the starring roles, the ladies are in for quite a treat. Johnson recently told Variety, "We worked hard to make sure the flesh quota was high: there's more gratuitous boobs, bums, abs, whatever per minute than you can imagine. Plot was important, don't get me wrong, but so was sorting out our slow-motion runs." Thank you for your service, Dwayne. [caption id="attachment_825745" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: TriStar Pictures[/caption]

Baby Driver

We have high hopes for "Baby Driver." And that's not just because of the incredible cast that includes Ansel Elgort, Jamie Foxx, Jon Hamm and Kevin Spacey. The fast-paced action has the energy and excitement of a "Fast and the Furious," but with a plot that actually feels fresh. When a young getaway driver named Baby (played by Elgort) meets the girl of his dreams, he desperately searches for a way out of his life of crime. But when he is roped into working for crime boss Doc, Baby finds himself in a heist that's doomed from the start. [caption id="attachment_825754" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures[/caption]

Wonder Woman

We'd be remiss to not include at least one superhero suggestion on our not-too-early summer movie guide. While there are always a slew of big-budget action flicks to choose from, the one we refuse to miss is "Wonder Wonder." Stunner Gal Gadot will be playing the titular role, embodying Amazonian princess Diana of Themyscira who meets American pilot Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) when he washes ashore. The two soon set off to help bring an end to World War I with lots of badass action sequences, sexy "will they, won't they" dynamics and plenty of love to hate them villains in-between. [caption id="attachment_825753" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: STX Entertainment[/caption]

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

OK, while we're still waiting for RiRi to have her breakout "Dreamgirls" moment like Beyonce did, we're content with seeing her gorgeous self in this summer's "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets." To be frank, we're not sure about this one. It could be a stunning visual tour de force of the sci-fi variety or it can simply be a hot mess of big budgets and questionable special effects. Valerian (played by Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (Cara Delevigne) are special operatives on a quest to safeguard the universe from an evil force that hopes to destroy life as they know. Not the most revolutionary of concepts, but with Luc Besson directing, we're hoping this will be a memorably beautiful trip to the movies. [caption id="attachment_825752" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures[/caption]

It

Admittedly, this choice might not be for everyone. We're not even sure it's for us, but we do know it'll be one of the summer's most talked-about flicks. "It" -- yes, the mini-series that gave us more nightmares than we'd be willing to admit -- is making its way to the big screen. The movie chronicles the lives of seven children who are tormented by a demented clown named Pennywise. The original "It" had a campiness to it that, while still scary, also teetered into the realm of silliness. This 2017 version of "It" is pure terror.

The post The Not-Too-Early Summer Movie Preview appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Is Sir The Baptist Brandy’s New Man? [Pictures]

May 11, 2017, 1:27 pm
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Early last year, Brandy told the women of "The Real" that was extremely satisfied being by herself. In fact, she said that she doesn't ever see herself getting married. And while that might still be true for her; perhaps this season of singleness and focusing primarily on herself, her daughter and her career, has come to a close. Judging by the recent activity on her Instagram page, it would seem that there's a new man in her life, fellow musician, Sir The Baptist. While neither one of them has come out with an announcement of any sort, they've both made a couple of appearances on each others Instagram pages. See what I'm talking about. And, as we've discussed, the details are often in the captions, so be sure to read those.

Yup, he is a #Genius @sirthebaptist 💡Give him a minute.... he gon be ballin on'nem #sukkuhs !!! #FreshtoDeath

A post shared by b r 📐n d Y (@4everbrandy) on

This is what he had to say about her.

@sirthebaptist #EdibleHigh

A post shared by b r 📐n d Y (@4everbrandy) on

Aight, now you might probably be thinking that this is a new artist she's helping to promote, but I wouldn't be so sure.

@sirthebaptist = #Heaven

A post shared by b r 📐n d Y (@4everbrandy) on

https://www.instagram.com/p/BT8DqlFFUWs/?taken-by=4everbrandy Child, if nothing else convinces you that these two might be in a relationship, that hashtagged him ought to at least cause you to raise your eyebrows. https://www.instagram.com/p/BT2fyclFnc4/?taken-by=4everbrandy Grabbed him?! https://www.instagram.com/p/BT9LMypFo1f/?taken-by=4everbrandy

Angel on my side and it feels like #heaven

A post shared by Sir William James The Baptist (@sirthebaptist) on

https://www.instagram.com/p/BT7-_3jFY2F/?taken-by=sirthebaptist

The post Is Sir The Baptist Brandy’s New Man? [Pictures] appeared first on MadameNoire.

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All Five Seasons Of “Living Single” Are Available On iTunes

May 11, 2017, 2:30 pm
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I’ve long since lamented the fact that I could only purchase the first season of one of my favorite shows, “Living Single.” A quick Google search will tell you that the so called reasoning behind all of this is that Warner Bros. felt that based on the sales from the first season, there was not enough incentive to release the second.

So aside from syndication and some grainy YouTube videos, we haven’t seen our girls in this show in some time.

But all of that is changing because today, the entire five seasons of the show have been made available on iTunes.

If you’re like me, you immediately read and then doubted the validity of that last sentence. I feel you. But I come bearing receipts.

And the other seasons:

Each season, with the exception of season 5, contains over 20 episodes and each one is selling for $19.99 on iTunes. While a part of me feels about saddened by the fact that it’s not a physical copy, iTunes keeps great record of your purchases so there’s no chance of a disc getting scratched up or even broken. You’ll have them on your laptop, or whatever device they create in the future, forever.

You can find all of the seasons, here.

Happy watching!

 

The post All Five Seasons Of “Living Single” Are Available On iTunes appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Feeling Confident? 7 Activewear Crop Tops That Don’t Show Off Too Much, But Just Enough

May 11, 2017, 3:06 pm
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There’s a crop top for every body these days. (NOT everybody, but each and every type of body.) If you want to show off everything under your chest, there’s a huge market full of risque, revealing crop tops for that. But what happens when you want to show off the progress you’ve made without letting it all hang out? The good news is, there are crop tops for that as well. They might be boxy, but they’re still flattering and show off some skin, instead of all of it. If you’ve been looking for these types of activewear crop tops, here are seven we found that you might like.

activewear crop top

Nike Sportswear Crop Tee – $35

Missguided Active Pink Booty Camp Slogan Cropped Sports Top – $14

activewear crop top

Adidas by Stella McCartney Yoga Crop Hoodie – $45

Fila Sport Printed Performance Crop Tank – $15

Forever 21 Active Joie Du Sport Jersey Top – $15

Reebok Cotton Cropped Tee – $22

Lane Bryant Signature Stretch Active Tank by Glamour X – $21

 

The post Feeling Confident? 7 Activewear Crop Tops That Don’t Show Off Too Much, But Just Enough appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Ways You Should Actually Change Your Partner

May 12, 2017, 4:00 am
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[caption id="attachment_830471" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/Peacefulness in us. Delighted peaceful positive African American couple sitting in the cafe and touching hands of each other while expressing peacefulness and love[/caption] Should you try to change your partner? Well, that depends. A lot of people run from a relationship the second they sense their partner is trying to change them. But their partner was likely trying to change the things that make them who they are. Is your partner a goofball? An introvert? The life of the party? A nerd? A bit abrasive? A dreamer? Accept it. Those are personality traits! You shouldn’t want to change your partner’s personality. If you do, then you’re with the wrong person. You also shouldn’t want to adjust their core values or moral compass. Those are things you have to purchase as is. But habits are something you can change, and possibly should. Just between us here on this page, a lot of men could use a partner to come spruce a few areas of their life up. Here are ways it’s okay to change your partner. [caption id="attachment_615357" align="alignleft" width="402"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Help him identify his goals

If your partner works at a job that doesn’t excite him and complains constantly that he feels like it’s a dead-end job, encourage him to think about what he really wants. Don’t tell him what he should do, but open dialogues that help him do his own thinking on which industries and positions excite him.       [caption id="attachment_701813" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Get him to believe in himself

If your partner knows what he wants but he’s afraid to go after it, be his cheerleader! Send him every article or flyer for a related event about the industry he’s interested in. If he’s interested in applying to this or attending that, encourage him to—go with him if it helps. Don’t let his fear stop him.       [caption id="attachment_702712" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Help him live healthier

I don’t think your partner’s mother, doctor, friends or coworkers would blame you if you tried to stop him from eating a cheeseburger at lunch every day. You don’t expect him to be a health nut but you do want to prevent an early heart attack.         [caption id="attachment_704577" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Help him heal family ties

If your partner hasn’t spoken to his brother in years or has a strained relationship with his dad, you know that weighs on him. Encourage him to fix those relationships. Offer to drive with him to visit the estranged family member.         [caption id="attachment_713445" align="alignleft" width="467"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Socialize him

Some guys can be such hermits! They have friends, but they don’t make the effort to see them often. You know if they did, they’d be happy. So invite your partner’s best buds (who he somehow hasn’t seen in four months) over for dinners our out for double dates. Sometimes, women just need to be the planners.   [caption id="attachment_696422" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Get him to try new things

You should both always be encouraging one another to try new things. This could mean new food, new hobbies, new places, meditation workshops…Expand and grow together.          

Help him open up

Men tend to be a little more emotionally blocked than women are. They can’t help it; they were conditioned to be that way. Encourage your partner to talk it out when he’s clearly frustrated, feeling stifled, or sad. Don’t let him stubbornly, silently stew,in those emotions.         [caption id="attachment_723513" align="alignleft" width="417"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Make him gentler

Men are told to be hard when they grow up, but it doesn’t do them much good later in life. In fact, there is nothing stronger than being brave enough to be gentle. You’ll see; you’ll get your partner to talk to puppies in a baby voice, and genuinely take an interest when your girlfriend is heartbroken after a breakup.       [caption id="attachment_712480" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Educate him on feminism

Some dudes just don’t know. They don’t mean to say things that are sexist; they’ve just heard those things their entire life. Don’t be afraid to gently let your guy know, “Hey that’s actually sexist and here’s why.” Every woman he encounters in life—from his female colleagues to his female family members—will thank you for it.     [caption id="attachment_709036" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Help him be more responsible with money

I don’t know why, but women just know more about using coupon sites before purchasing anything online, racking up rewards on grocery store cards, and saving money by cooking at home instead of ordering delivery. Help your man out.       [caption id="attachment_702781" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Encourage him to relax

Men don’t always feel like they’re allowed to admit when they’re heading for a burnout. A lot of them have the “Drink an energy drink and stop complaining" mentality. But you can encourage your boo to say no to some invitations, get a massage and take a nap when you see he’s exhausted.       [caption id="attachment_704323" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Boost that cleanliness score

The poor guy didn’t even realize mold was growing underneath his dish drying rack. You’re not telling him how to decorate; you’re just trying to make sure his own home doesn’t make him sick.           [caption id="attachment_620401" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Get him to go to the doctor

Women are so much better at going in for regular check-ups or having their doctor look at something that seems off. Men, on the other hand, usually need to be dragged to these appointments. It’s okay: drag him. [caption id="attachment_608323" align="alignleft" width="417"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Encourage him to stock his fridge

Go to a grocery store and you’ll see women pushing around carts, and men holding little baskets. Women are just better at stocking their fridges and planning out their meals. Men, on the other hand, usually wait until they’re starving, go to the store and buy three things, go home, and repeat the next day. Train your boo in the art of grocery shopping.       [caption id="attachment_713716" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Make him better in bed

Hey, why not? I’m sure he wants to satisfy you. Other women may have been too shy to tell him that that tongue thing he does actually feels funny, not good.

The post Ways You Should Actually Change Your Partner appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Why Having Abs Isn’t All That

May 12, 2017, 5:00 am
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[caption id="attachment_830476" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/young african american woman in green sportswear exercising abdominals on pad in gym. Horizontal shape high angle view copy space[/caption] You’ve probably looked at someone with incredible abs and thought, “I’d do anything to have those.” But you probably didn’t know what anything entailed. There’s a reason that, if you drop by any pool party in the United States, you’ll find that six-pack abs are pretty rare. You’ll find some toned tummies and some definition, but those truly chiseled abs are almost as common as a unicorn. And that’s because getting and keeping them requires an entire lifestyle change. Do you really want to choose between living a life you love and having one part of your body—that you barely even show off—be perfect? Well, you’ll have to if you want those abs! Here is why having abs isn’t all that. [caption id="attachment_728345" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Shutterstock[/caption]

Say goodbye to booze

If you like to wind down with a glass of wine or a cocktail, well you can forget that. In fact, all happy hours with friends are over. The temptation is too strong, and you don’t want to be the buzz kill just sitting there with her water.         [caption id="attachment_700499" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Ditch the dairy

Cheese, milk, butter, ice cream—gone! These make your intestines sluggish and if you are the least bit backed up, it covers up the progress you’re making in your abs. So just understand that you’ll never bite into a grilled cheese again.         [caption id="attachment_707013" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Forget the fruit

That’s a pretty big food group! But fruit contains sugar. If you weren’t trying to get perfect abs, that sugar wouldn’t be a big deal. But right now, you need your body running like a perfectly-oiled machine and cannot handle even the smallest blood sugar spike.         [caption id="attachment_713621" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Cut the carbs

So much as one bread roll can ruin a week of progress. You’ll wake up and see it on your stomach immediately. Keep in mind that when you have perfect abs then the slightest diet mistake you make is more obvious on your body than ever.           [caption id="attachment_717205" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Meal prep is half your life

You’ll have to dedicate your weekends and evenings to meal prep. You cannot afford to be left without a healthy afternoon snack, and running to the vending machine. Every minute of your day, and the food that goes into it must be planned.         [caption id="attachment_715033" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Grocery shopping is the other half

The other half of your life is grocery shopping. Eating food someone else makes simply isn’t an option; you can’t control what they put in there. Plus, you have to have totally fresh protein and vegetables constantly. So you can’t stock up on frozen stuff for the week.       [caption id="attachment_698888" align="alignleft" width="471"] Shutterstock[/caption]

People rarely see them

People rarely see your abs! Do you live at a pool party? No. You spend 80 percent of your life at work, where it would be inappropriate to show off your abs. And you spend most of the other 20 percent covered up because you’re not at a pool or it’s cold out.         [caption id="attachment_701869" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

They may make you look unapproachable

Real talk: the person with the perfect abs looks unapproachable. Ask anybody (who doesn’t have perfect abs—because they’re part of the problem). If you notice less guys chatting with you when you’re in your crop top, the abs could be why. People can assume you’re vain.     [caption id="attachment_698081" align="alignleft" width="419"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Men do not care

Abs rank pretty low on the list of body parts men care about. Boobs and ass are, of course, way up there. The face comes head to head with boobs and ass. Good proportions tend to matter. But abs? They’re like sprinkles on an already wonderful sundae; you don’t care if they’re there or not.         [caption id="attachment_703962" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Say goodbye to your boobs

You need to lose a tremendous amount of body fat to see ab definition. That means you can kiss your boobies goodbye. Darn: those were fun.           [caption id="attachment_696362" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’ll always feel hungry

It’s very difficult to feel satiated on the diet you’ll have to maintain to have perfect abs. It’s foods like carbs and cheese that typically round out a meal and help you feel full. There are only so many vegetables you can eat before feeling nauseous.         [caption id="attachment_717848" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Your friends will get annoyed

You can’t do wine night, grab a slice of pizza, go out for frozen yogurt, or even go to the movies (the smell of the popcorn is too tempting). So basically, if your friends want to see you, they just have to go to the gym with you. Fun…         [caption id="attachment_611081" align="alignleft" width="423"] Corbis Images[/caption]

You’ll insult some people

Your mom will not understand that you cannot eat the lasagna she painstakingly made for you—the lasagna you used to beg for as a kid—because you’re trying to have abs.           [caption id="attachment_698746" align="alignleft" width="468"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’re boring

Your entire life is about grocery shopping, meal prepping and working out. You don’t have much to contribute to the conversation.                 [caption id="attachment_693981" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Sorry, no birthday cake for you

Celebratory events aren’t so celebratory for you anymore. In fact, you have to turn down the cupcakes your friends made for you for your birthday. Celery, anyone?             [caption id="attachment_624839" align="alignleft" width="426"] Corbis[/caption]

The workouts consume your life

The amount of hours you’ll have to spend working out to have perfect abs each week will astound you. All of your free time will go to working out.             [caption id="attachment_612519" align="alignleft" width="420"] Corbis[/caption]

The final progress takes forever

There’s only so much fat loss your body can handle before it turns to losing muscle mass. The final five pounds you need to lose to get perfect abs are very hard to lose. They can take months.             [caption id="attachment_626582" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]  

They don’t improve longevity

Leading a healthy lifestyle by eating right, sleeping enough and exercising regularly can add years to your life; having abs cannot. So you’re going to lose time to these abs (because you have no life now) when they aren’t going to give you that time back later? [caption id="attachment_620632" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You’ll need a new wardrobe

You have to get really thin to have abs. That means your clothes will be falling off of you and you have to buy all new ones. That’s quite an expense.     [caption id="attachment_701290" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock.com[/caption]

Once you get there, you have to stay there

All of that torture you just went through—yeah, that’s for life now. If you slip up even the tiniest bit, your abs won’t be as defined within hours. It’s not like normal weight loss where you have to restrict yourself for a while, but once you reach your goals, you can return to a normal life. Nope; this is your life now.

The post Why Having Abs Isn’t All That appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Big Black Saved Money For His Daughter’s College Fund & More Before His Death

May 12, 2017, 6:40 am
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Christopher "Big Black" Boykin

We were sad to report about the passing of Christopher “Big Black” Boykin. The fact that he was only 45 and left behind a 9-year-old daughter made this tragic situation that much worse.

But thankfully, Big Black lived his life with his daughter Isis on his mind.

According to TMZ, his daughter will have no financial worries in her father’s absence. Several sources told the outlet that he spent his life living frugally and was very smart with his money and investments.

Friends described him as a penny-pincher who rarely picked up large tabs or splurged on luxury items for himself. And his inner circle wants to make sure that the college fund he set up for Isis is managed properly so his dreams for her will be fulfilled.

His associates said that Chris also knew of his family history of heart problems and was determined to make sure that she lived comfortably should anything happen to him.

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and on Instagram and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post Big Black Saved Money For His Daughter’s College Fund & More Before His Death appeared first on MadameNoire.

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How To Make The Most Of Your Separation

May 12, 2017, 7:00 am
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[caption id="attachment_830479" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/Love Pain Hurt Depressive Disappointed Broken Concept[/caption] If you and your spouse have decided to separate, you probably put a lot of thought into that decision. After days or even months of arguing about it, discussing it with each other, with your friends and with your family, you decided that being separated—rather than getting a divorce—is the best option for you. But on the first day of your separation, you may wake up and think, “Now what?” Even though you were reaching a point where you couldn’t stand another day of living with your spouse, you were still very used to life with him. And a separation doesn’t exactly mean you’re single again, so it doesn’t come with that same new lease on life you get after a clean breakup. But you chose this separation because you thought it would be productive, and it can be. Here is how to make the most of your separation. [caption id="attachment_627031" align="alignleft" width="477"] Corbis[/caption]

Set dating rules

First off, you need to have set rules on whether or not the two of you can date during this separation—date other people, that is. If you aren’t clear on this, then one person may end up being unknowingly unfaithful, which will add more problems you don’t need right now.         [caption id="attachment_625898" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Know when it will end

Set an end date for the separation. An alarming amount of couples stay separated for over a decade because nobody wants to handle the decision of, “Will we divorce or stay together?” The only way you’ll feel motivated to make the most of this separation is if you know it will end.     [caption id="attachment_607975" align="alignleft" width="419"]No Love On Tinder Shutterstock[/caption]

Take a break from communication at first

Take at least a week off from communicating with each other, at first. Really, a whole month would be even more productive. How can you possibly know if you want a life without this person if you don’t give yourself a chance to see what that’s like? And you have to cut off communication to see that.         [caption id="attachment_713314" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Then, set communication rules

When you do begin to communicate again, set rules. These pertain to how often you communicate, to how long each time, what medium you use (Skype, in person, phone calls?) and even what you talk about. Maybe you need to decide you do not talk about things like finances or renovations on the house since those can fog up your base dynamic as a couple.         [caption id="attachment_700070" align="alignleft" width="420"] Woman in therapy. Photo: Shutterstock[/caption]

Continue going to therapy

Continue going to couple’s counseling during your separation. This is actually a great time for your therapist to see how you can interact as a couple when you haven’t come from a day of your normal, stressful lives together. You haven’t been parenting together, or talking to the plumber together; it’s just you and him, raw.           [caption id="attachment_712202" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Add individual therapy if you haven’t already

This helps you separate your issues alone from your issues as a couple. You cannot thrive in any relationship if you have individual issues you haven’t dealt with. Only once you’ve healed personally can you see if your relationship has a chance.           [caption id="attachment_717207" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Meditate every day

Meditate, meditate, meditate. Meditate like it is your job. This will help you get in touch with what you truly want from life, from a partner, and from yourself. If you make a practice of meditating, you’ll see things a little clearer every day.             [caption id="attachment_703763" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Pick your company wisely

Avoid cynical individuals who don’t even believe in marriage—they will alter your perception and make it hard to think straight. But you should also stay away from friends who, despite their best intentions, would stay in a marriage no matter how awful it was, because they don’t want to be alone. Be around individuals who just support your happiness—whether that means staying together or getting a divorce.         [caption id="attachment_717697" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Journal

This is a very important time to take stock of your emotions. Check in with yourself. If you have deep moments of sadness, why is that? What are you thinking about? If you have moments you feel giddy, why is that? Bring this journal to your therapy sessions.             [caption id="attachment_622435" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Don’t party too much

You’ll probably want to have a few girls’ nights filled with cocktails and dancing. Good. Blow off some steam. But don’t see this separation as a time to party. You need alone time to think, and if you’re partying, your partner won’t feel you’re respecting the separation.       [caption id="attachment_704225" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Live the way you would if you were single (without dating)

Try to create a day in the life of you if you were single. Think about it; if you truly were divorced, what would your days look like? Is there a new class you’d take? Would you volunteer? Sleep in? This isn’t to make you want to be alone again, but to help you see the types of activities you should try to integrate into your marriage, should you stay together. It’s a part of what makes you happy.     [caption id="attachment_613151" align="alignleft" width="442"] Corbis[/caption]

Take time to reminisce

You’ve been so caught up in the daily fighting that the last few years of your relationship have been a blur. Reminisce on the times you were really happy. Why was that? Reminisce on the times you had your worst fights? Why was that. You’ll be able to answer these questions more clearly now that you’ve had space, and aren’t clouded by anger.           [caption id="attachment_713452" align="alignleft" width="414"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Map out your relationship

There are probably major events in your relationship that changed one or both of you, at your cores. Someone being laid off, somebody losing a family member…When you’re in these moments, it’s hard to see shifts happening in your personalities. But with some space, you may be able to identify that that event changed you or your partner. Your counselor may be able to help you both heal the issues surrounding that event.         [caption id="attachment_723936" align="alignleft" width="414"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Look at dating sites (just look)

This is an interesting exercise; look at some dating sites. See how that—the simple act of looking at other men as prospective partners—makes you feel. Keep track of which profiles caught your attention. This can teach you a lot about how ready you are to move on from your partner. Or not ready.         [caption id="attachment_627101" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Take a solo trip

There’s nothing like going to a new place, all alone, to help you get some perspective. When you’re home, you have responsibilities and the voices of your friends, family, and colleagues in your head. Get away from it all and just be with your thoughts and emotions.

The post How To Make The Most Of Your Separation appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Is This Petty? He Made First Date Promises But Waited A Week To Actually Make Plans

May 12, 2017, 10:27 am
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One big conversation I’ve noticed a lot of sites having as of late is about all of the different games people play when it comes to dating. For most of March and April, one article or another was talking about “ghosting” (abruptly ceasing communication) while others established “haunting.” (That is being stalked online by an ex or someone you curved.) But what would be the proper term for someone who gets your hopes up with their excitement over a date but takes a while to actually call and make plans? Let’s go with “playing.”

At least, that’s how one TV personality would describe it. On her IG live, she told a story about a guy who she’d met and had chemistry with wanting to take her out on a date. He talked a good game about wanting to check out the livest spots with her, try new things, and she was excited. So they exchanged information and he told her he’d definitely call to make plans.

He didn’t call, but he did text — a week later. By the time he called, she was no longer interested. You see, to her, it felt like this individual was all talk and no action. He attempted to get her hyped up by appearing to be interested in doing more than just wining and dining her. But when the opportunity came to actually make plans and set them in motion, he took his sweet time and assumed she had all of it in the world.

His excuse was that it had been a very busy work week for him, but she wasn’t feeling it. She was just muf-ggin’ tired. She, like many women, had wasted time in the past on men who said one thing but would do another, and at a certain point, decided she wasn’t going to entertain games. As the meme she found and shared on Instagram after the fact put it, “Real women don’t get excited about text messages and promises. They want a man who makes phone calls and plans.”

Say that.

When I talked about this with friends recently, one of my girlfriend’s could totally understand where the aforementioned woman was coming from. But the other, well, she brought up a good point: “So this was all for a first date?” she asked. When her question was answered she replied, “A week is not really a long time to not hear from someone about first date plans. I think her reaction is a bit exaggerated.”

I’ll always be team #dontwastehertime2017, but I have to agree with my homegirl. I do think there is something corny about a guy who talks, a lot, about the plans he would like to make with you, but either can’t pick up the phone or expects you to do all of the heavy lifting. However, I do think we also need to know that in the earliest stages of dating, we can’t expect relationship behaviors from individuals we are just getting to know. As a saying I love goes, “Stop breaking your own heart by exaggerating your place in other people’s lives.” Sure, our heroine’s heart wasn’t broken. Her expectations of this guy were just high based on his own mouth and in no time flat, he’d already started disappointing her.

However, just because he said he was excited didn’t mean that his excitement was fake, or would go null and void, if he didn’t reach out in two to three days as opposed to seven. Maybe he didn’t want to just come (a.k.a., the old “Hi. wyd?” hat trick), if he couldn’t come correct. Or maybe the man really was busy.

After a date, or a few dates, by all means, act a fool if you haven’t heard from him in a week. But as people going into things as two very separate individuals getting to know one another, I would say keep your standards high, but lower your expectations about how things will and should play out just a few notches…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. What say you? If a guy says he’s excited to take you out for a first date and has a whole host of ideas for it but waits a while to actually reach out to you to plan something, is he playing games? Or is it petty to be upset about it?  

Image by Bigstock 

The post Is This Petty? He Made First Date Promises But Waited A Week To Actually Make Plans appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Hoda Kotb Brings Her Daughter Haley Joy To Work [Pics]

May 12, 2017, 10:35 am
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Hoda Kotb

Earlier this year, anchor and tv host Hoda Kotb announced that she had adopted a baby girl she named Haley Joy Kotb.

Later, she revealed adoption was necessary after her bout with cancer, ten years ago, left her unable to conceive.

Since Hoda announced Haley’s appearance in her life, she has shared pictures of the little girl but rarely have we seen her face clearly.

On the move!! ❤️😍❤️😍

A post shared by Hoda Kotb (@hodakotb) on

My girl met my girl and my face exploded! @todayshow @klgandhoda

A post shared by Hoda Kotb (@hodakotb) on


There was this rare moment.

My girl ❤️

A post shared by Hoda Kotb (@hodakotb) on


But today, Hoda really showed little Haley off when she brought her on set for her “Today Show” colleagues to meet her daughter. And the pictures are quite adorable. Check out the collage, Hoda shared on her Instagram page below.

Hi nugget xoxo

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Just gorgeous. Happy first Mother’s Day to Hoda! She seems to be over the moon.

The post Hoda Kotb Brings Her Daughter Haley Joy To Work [Pics] appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Chanel Offers An Apology To Gabourey Sidibe Over Shopping While Black Incident

May 12, 2017, 11:36 am
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Earlier this week, we told you that Gabourey Sidibe shared a less than pleasant experience she had while shopping at a Chanel store in Chicago, where she films Empire. She said that while trying to buy some frames for herself and sandals for co-star Taraji P. Henson from the luxury boutique, a saleswoman did everything in her power to get Sidibe out of the store. Her methods included telling the star an establishment on the same block would be a better fit for what she was looking for.

Precious shopping

 

“I’d love to pretend she was being polite, and I’m sure she would love to pretend she was polite, but she was actually condescending,” Sidibe wrote. “Explaining to me how exactly I should get across the street and out of her sight line, as if I were in kindergarten. I was trying to purchase glasses, and she was trying to get the interaction with me over as soon as possible. Just to be sure of what was happening, I made her tell me to leave, in her pretend-polite way, three times.”

It wasn’t until other employees realized who she was that she was given some respect by the saleswoman. The incident of possible racial profiling (she claimed it also could have been discrimination based on her size), written about for The Lenny Letter, created a lot of conversation. So much so that Chanel actually decided to respond to it and offer the 33-year-old an apology. They also investigated the situation, which is interesting considering Sidibe said she wasn’t even sure she wanted to fill out a customer survey to get the saleswoman in trouble in the first place.

“Chanel expresses our sincerest regret for the boutique customer service experience that Ms. Sidibe mentioned in this essay,” the apology read. “We are sorry that she felt unwelcome and offended. We took her words very seriously and immediately investigated to understand what happened, knowing that this is absolutely not in line with the high standards that Chanel wishes to provide to our customers. We are strongly committed to provide anyone who comes in our boutiques with the best customer service. We do hope that in the future Ms. Sidibe will choose to come back to a Chanel boutique and experience the real Chanel customer experience.”

Sidibe hasn’t publicly responded to the apology, but we’re willing to bet it’s appreciated.

Images via Bigstock 

The post Chanel Offers An Apology To Gabourey Sidibe Over Shopping While Black Incident appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Celebrating The Hottest Celebrity Mamas In The Game Ahead Of Mother’s Day

May 12, 2017, 12:40 pm
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[caption id="attachment_830186" align="alignleft" width="1080"] Credit : Charlie Steffens/WENN.com[/caption] There are few things more beautiful than motherhood. Bringing a child into the world, nurturing it and raising it is no small task. And to look fabulous doing it certainly isn't easy either. With Mother's Day just around the corner, we take a look at some of the hottest celebrity mamas in the game.

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Halle Berry

The queen mother of hot, Halle Berry has only gotten more stunning with age. At 50 years old and the mother of two lovely children, Berry kills on every red carpet she graces and every photo shoot she's in. We are sure that given another 20 years or so, she is going to be the hottest grandmother Hollywood has ever seen.

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Ciara

Few women can carry pregnancy the way that Ciara does. It's really unfair. The hot hubby, the adorable son, the stunning preggo photos ... this woman is unfathomably fabulous with a bun in the oven. She has taken pregnancy style to a whole new level and as such we have to give her some serious props.

Taraji P. Henson

2016 and 2017 have been the years of Taraji P. Henson. After more than 15 years in the industry, it was wonderful to see Henson finally get the praise and credit she deserves. Not only is her career on fire and she's looking more fierce than ever, but this mother of one has never lost sight of who she is or where she comes from.

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Beyonce

There is no denying that when it comes the fierce moms, Beyonce is certainly holding down the fort with style. From adorable matching outfits to stunning Halloween costumes with Blue Ivy, mama Beyonce is all about making the most of motherhood style. And with twins on the way, we're sure that we'll be seeing more of Supermom Bey.

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Nia Long

From "Soul Food" to "The Best Man" to her recent guest star status on "Empire," Nia Long has been a perennial hottie on the small and big screens for years. This mother of two has curves for days and an attitude and confidence that we absolutely adore.

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Regina King

The star of "American Crime" and an actress whose resume is truly something to be respected, Regina King is that low-key kind of hot mama. While she may not be the biggest name, she is still one beautiful, talented lady who expertly balances motherhood with professional excellence.

Vanessa L. Williams

Vanessa L. Williams is 54. We'll give you a moment to let that sink in. More than five decades of hottest has defined this mother of four and no list in celebration of beautiful moms would be complete without her. [caption id="attachment_830187" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit : Charlie Steffens/WENN.com[/caption]

Thandie Newton

We saw a whole lot of Thandie Newton in HBO's hit "Westworld." Like a WHOLE lot of Thandie. But that only helped to reinforce this mother of three's status as one of Hollywood's sexiest mamas.

Jada Pinkett Smith

Now we're going to be honest: The Smith family is a bit on the odd side. The Scientology, the strange parental philosophies, the speculation of an open marriage. Not exactly the most picture perfect bunch, but lord knows Jada Pinkett Smith has one of the hottest mom bods in the game and we have to give her some credit there.

Michelle Obama

Do you think we could really have a hot moms list without featuring the one and only former FLOTUS Michelle Obama? The mother of two amazing daughters, Sasha and Malia, Obama is the embodiment of #momgoals. Smart, beautiful, sophisticated and accomplished, Obama truly has it all.

The post Celebrating The Hottest Celebrity Mamas In The Game Ahead Of Mother’s Day appeared first on MadameNoire.

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What Do You Make Of T.I. Telling Tiny She Can’t Go On Tour With Xscape?

May 12, 2017, 1:10 pm
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Anderson Paak has a song called "Come Down." And before he begins singing it, he says "Y'all n*ggas got me hot." That's the line that came to mind after I watched this clip from "T.I. and Tiny The Family Hustle." In it, the newly estranged couple, T.I. and Tiny discuss her going on tour with Xscape. According to T.I., later in the clip, he says that he was initially excited about the tour but when Tiny mentioned that she was going to be taking Heiress with her, that's when all hell broke loose. You can watch it in the video below. Lord. Honestly, there are several things going on here. And most of them stomach churning. There's the fact that the second Tiny has an opportunity to advance her career, he threatens to shut it down--after all she's done to support his, especially during those trips to prison. The fact that he said he would shut it down instead of offering suggestions to help. To either hire a nanny for the travel or to stay at home with him while Tiny travels. The general tone and timbre of his voice. It was too aggressive and too controlling, particularly for a man who is no longer her husband. It was gross. And you already know that Black Twitter had a lot to say. Check out some of the responses we wholeheartedly agree with--or the ones that made us laugh on the following pages.

The post What Do You Make Of T.I. Telling Tiny She Can’t Go On Tour With Xscape? appeared first on MadameNoire.

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5 Pre And Post-Workout Gym Bag Essentials For Summer Skin

May 12, 2017, 1:14 pm
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We don’t know about you, but our gym bags are almost as full as our schedules these days. It doesn’t hurt to switch things out, as what is necessary for health and wellness in the fall and winter may not be what you want to use for spring and summer. Luckily for you, we picked five new products that we consider gym bag essentials sure to keep you fresh and comfortable all summer long.

ChafeZone for Chub Rub – $9

When the temperature increases but your interest in wearing biking shorts everywhere or putting deodorant and powder between your legs doesn’t, you need to find a better path to relief. Thank goodness MedZone’s new product, ChafeZone for ChubRub, a petroleum-like lubricant, provides it. A stick the size of your everyday deodorant, one swipe of this sweat-resistant product keeps you cozy when you’re wearing a tight skirt or prepping for a run.

Kleenex Ultra Soft Go-Anywhere Tissues –  $2-$7

We snapped this product on our gym bag and it ended up getting more compliments than our colorful workout ensembles. The new Ultra Soft Go-Anywhere tissue from Kleenex, with its snap strap and sealable lid, keeps your tissue from getting torn up, wet or dirtied inside of your bag. Not only that, but by utilizing the strap, your tissues will always be easily accessible. So when your nose runs or you need help cleaning up your makeup after applying it post-workout, you’ll be good to go. Check out the single pack for $2.19 and the four pack for $7.29.

Skinfix Face Cleansing Cloths – $10

Stubborn makeup? Want to refresh your face after getting sweaty during cycling? These natural cleansing cloths help you tidy up. Another bonus is that they’re gentle and infused with cucumber, aloe and red seaweed extracts. Toss a couple in your bag and be a help to someone or help yourself. Follow the wipes up with the foaming clay cleanser for a deep clean.

SweetSpot Labs On-The-Go Wipettes – $4

Who doesn’t love an individually-wrapped wipes? And who doesn’t enjoy variety? It’s the spice of life. SweetSpot’s on-the-go wipettes (made by women, for women) help you remove the spice from down below with their 98 percent natural ingredients, including soothing extracts of cranberry and pineapple. This particular package of wipes comes in a variety of light and lovely scents that are gentle. So when you’re feeling like smelling like a vanilla blossom one day, a mandarin the next and grapefruit a week later, you can.

Fytt Hit Restart Detoxifying Body Scrub Treatment – $54

What’s good for your insides can’t be bad for your outsides.  New beauty line Fytt Beauty wants to prove that with their antioxidant, vitamin and mineral-rich products, including the detoxifying body scrub treatment. We had the chance to try the Hit Restart option (there are also Boost Energy and Gain Strength scrub treatments) made of kale, spinach, spirulina, cucumber and flaxseed. It’s the healthiest scrub you’ll ever use and one of the most exfoliating and nourishing beauty experiences as well. Try it after a tough workout (or mud relay?) and thank us later.

The post 5 Pre And Post-Workout Gym Bag Essentials For Summer Skin appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Fitness Fridays: Elisabeth Akinwale On Diversifying CrossFit And How Femininity And Strength Go Hand In Hand

May 12, 2017, 2:57 pm
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May is known as Women’s Health Month, as well as National Physical Fitness and Sports month. In order to celebrate all things health and wellness that have to do with women of color, today we’re launching Fitness Fridays for the month. We’re hoping to share stories that help others embrace the importance of taking care of themselves both inside and out.

What is a woman to do when she’s spent a majority of her young life competing in sports and is sidelined indefinitely by an injury? While many of us would throw in the towel, sit on the couch and put on weight that’s anything but happy, Elisabeth Akinwale chose to go on a new fitness journey. The 38-year-old CrossFit competitor and U by Kotex FITNESS partner based out of Chicago had been a gymnast since the age of four. But after debilitating knee injuries cut her career short in college, she found her way to the weight rack. Akinwale’s rehabilitation came through strength training, and she loved it. She eventually gravitated toward CrossFit in 2010. Since then, she’s gone on to consistently compete and have memorable performances in the annual Reebok CrossFit Games and has even appeared in the USA Weightlifting National qualifications. She’s also obtained certification to teach CrossFit classes and has coached more than 40 seminars over the years through her program, On Balance. She’s done all that while being a mother of a 10-year-old son and inspiring nearly 100,000 followers on Instagram. How does she do it? We talked to Akinwale about her fitness journey to find out.

 

MadameNoire: I read about your athletic background and your days as a gymnast. How did that turn into a passion for strength training and fitness competitions?

Elisabeth Akinwale: Yes, I was a gymnast growing up, between the ages of 4 and 19. Unfortunately, towards the end of my gymnastics career, I suffered a series of knee injuries and subsequently had multiple surgeries. I joined a local gym and started strength training to rehabilitate my knee and strengthen the supporting structures. I ended up falling in love with weight training as well as group fitness classes.

How have you been able to maintain a busy training schedule and do your On Balance coaching seminars and everything else that takes up your 24 hours while being a mother?

It’s not easy to juggle being a competitive athlete, running a business and parenting. I’ve been able to draw on other periods of my life that were particularly busy, such as being a new mom, a full-time employee, and a student at the same time. One concept that is helpful is being very clear with your values and your priorities. Clarifying those for yourself and others provides the framework for decision making related to where you will spend your resources, the most precious being your time. Learning to say “no” to things that you aren’t passionate about is very empowering as well.

One of the big superficial critiques that both gymnasts and women who do a lot of strength training face is that they’re too “bulky,” too muscular, too masculine. What have you thought about those types of criticisms and why don’t you care?

I find those types of criticisms baffling. I most definitely have heard those ideas on social media, in publications, and I have friends who have been criticized in that manner by family. Fortunately, I haven’t encountered those sentiments directly from people whose opinions I value. From an early age I was encouraged in my strength and physical capability. I have an older sister who was an athlete, and my mother was always very strong, so the paradigm of strength being in opposition to femininity or beauty was not part of my life. Ironically, most women who don’t strength train would actually enhance their traditionally feminine attributes, such as curves, by adding strength training to their routine. As we age, the natural progression is for the body to lose muscle mass, impacting your posture, the firmness of your body, and your overall shape.

Elisabeth Akinwale

How would you encourage other women who have a very close-minded view of strength training and assume it’s not necessary?

Strength is one among many components of balanced health and fitness. It is a building block to support us in many areas, beyond how we look — from maintaining healthy, pain-free joints, to being able to run around with our children/grandchildren, master that challenging yoga pose, move our body on a hike to a beautiful mountain peak. The process of strength training is an amazing way to increase confidence and self-assuredness. Being strong, and the work it takes to develop and maintain strength, makes me and many of the clients I work with feel more empowered and capable in every area of our lives.

One very interesting topic I saw that you brought up with your followers is the lack of diversity in CrossFit competitions. Why do you think that is and how can we change that?

There are many reasons that CrossFit competitions have not drawn in more diverse participants. I think part of the issue is, generally our society continues to sustain and create many segregated institutions such as schools, places of worship, residential neighborhoods, and it seems right now that CrossFit isn’t much different. CrossFit is a community-based training model, which means getting the full benefit is dependent on feeling like part of the community. I have wondered if people of color are hesitant to volunteer to be one of a few in their local CrossFit gym when they are paying premium dollar to attend, and may face many of the same microaggressions faced daily when we are operating in predominantly white spaces. I would love to see diverse communities continue to create spaces to pursue functional fitness that are affirming for us as people. Marketing also plays a role. CrossFit as a company and related brands, magazines, etc., have not always been inclusive in who they market to, which I think is a turnoff for many people. This aspect also contributes to one of the structural barriers faced by CrossFit competitors of color, which is access to financial resources and sponsorship dollars that would support their training and competition.

One last question I’ve been asking every fitness enthusiast I interview for this series is, at this point, why is fitness important to you and what does it mean to you?

Fitness is important to me on a fundamental level as a way to connect with my body. Many of us go through periods of estrangement from our bodies for various reasons — trauma, shame about how our body looks, prioritizing everything over ourselves. Fitness is about my relationship with my body, and also how I interact with the world through my body. Living a fit lifestyle allows me to participate more fully in life, based on what I can do, as well as the comfort and confidence I feel existing in this body.

 

The post Fitness Fridays: Elisabeth Akinwale On Diversifying CrossFit And How Femininity And Strength Go Hand In Hand appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Wanted: Proper Work Ethic And Why Younger Millennials Are Missing It

May 13, 2017, 6:05 am
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millennial missing proper work ethic

 

“Work ethic just isn’t what it used to be,” I expressed to my husband in a statement that officially declares that I’m an adult with a mortgage, a kid and responsibilities and possibly not as “young and fly” as I always claim to be. It was my way of reassuring him that he wasn’t doing anything wrong as far as managing his contracting business and hiring employees, but that we are unfortunately witnessing a younger generation that doesn’t necessarily think working a 9-5 every day is necessary.

I was specifically referring to a talented young man he had recently given an opportunity, but unfortunately between court dates, gambling and getting high didn’t make it a priority to come to work on time (or at all) and didn’t think it was necessary to inform his supervisor if he’d even be showing up for the day. Even at my office job I recently witnessed a recent college grad who was all too eager to work a few months ago, but seemed to have grown bored and listless a few weeks into her training. Two months into her probation she gave her colleagues a wave as she walked out for her hour lunch. She had secretly cleaned out her desk and later sent a text to the manager that she would not be returning to the position due to “stress”.  What in the “poor communication skills” hell?

The other day I came across an article called “Don’t Call Me a Millennial –I’m An Old Millennial” that basically listed a bunch of different reasons why us 80’s and early 90’s babies that grew up on New Jack Swing try to distance ourselves from the snap-chatting Lil Uzi Kodak Wap loving millennials that we often are grouped with. In case you’re wondering about this M-word and what it means, it’s basically the label slapped on a generation of anyone born in between 1982-2000. Admittedly. as an older millennial, I still need to print out long text because I fail to comprehend anything over 300 words on a screen. I also still remember most folks’ numbers by heart since I grew up in a world before caller ID where payphones were plentiful.

Until recently I didn’t realize how drastically different us older millennials are when it comes to our career paths. In some ways, I agree with my younger counterparts that climbing the career ladder isn’t and probably shouldn’t be what it was for our parents. Sure, I’m probably not going to get a pension or get to be at a job for more than five years, but I also refuse to do ten different jobs for the salary of one, and happiness and passion may even be more important to me than my paycheck. But when it comes to work ethic, I’m just a little bit old-fashioned. I don’t believe in burning bridges or simply ghosting on positions that I’m tired of. I’ve worked three jobs at a time and almost everyone I know has a side hustle in addition to their full-time gig, if not just to maintain their living then to have an outlet for the passion they sacrifice at their day job just to be able to afford paper towels and Ziploc bags. Us older millennials are caught on the cusp of the example of tradition set by our parents of time clocks, performance reviews and promotions and a culture that encourages “being a boss” and entrepreneurship even if it means you start a business designing paperclips. Millennials are labeled as flighty and freedom loving do whatever they can to not have to answer to “the man”. As author Jesse Singal states:

“Millennials are way less likely to follow ‘traditional’ trajectories with regard to careers and marriage, both anecdotes and some data suggest. They often flit from job to job without staying in one place too long — they’re ‘The Job-Hopping Generation,’ says Gallup — and are much more likely, relative to previous generations when they were in their 20s, to live at home and to put off family formation for a long time.”

He also mentions that us older millennials are more like our parents than we think:

“Yes, some of us have been hit harder than others by bad career luck or missteps, or by the massive national catastrophe of student debt, but for the most part we’ve had very ‘traditional’ career paths. Now in our 30s, those of us who have had the most successful career trajectories are taking on many of the same young management roles that similarly privileged, middle-class boomers and Gen-Xers did when they reached those ages.”

I try not to be too quick to judge. Work ethic is something that comes with maturity for some people, and although I haven’t pulled a “no call, no show” since I was a seventeen-year-old serving DQ blizzards upside down, I wasn’t always worried about being able to list references and networking. I was once a 21-year-old just trying to afford a hotel room to hook up with my boyfriend and snag good seats to see J. Cole. At one point I didn’t care about climbing the career ladder or a corner office. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t try to distinguish myself and my work ethic from my fellow younger millennials. I definitely don’t have as many phone conversations as I used to. I call out to work via text and my supervisor is usually cool with that, but there are certain situations that I don’t feel as comfortable texting my way through as younger twenty-somethings. Most days I prefer direct communication and I’m not so submerged in social media that I think it defines me. But an article in Forbes stated that the career disparities between millennials and older generations go way beyond a wi-fi connection:

“Older generations tend to glorify hard work as a virtue in and of itself, but millennials typically only value work insofar as it creates the results, or the acknowledgment or the growth they desire.”

Megan Abbott, a millennial life coach noted that millennials want “a direct impact and return for their efforts”—and for that reason, they’re more likely to leave jobs in a way that their ladder-climbing elders dismiss as “unrealistic.”

I worry that my fellow millennials ideas of success are just as unrealistic. I come from a generation where the leaders and modern technology were college drop outs. Every day another pop culture icon is created that gets about forty minutes of fame because of a viral video of something that is essentially mundane and ordinary, but seems special because we have access into people’s personal lives that we’ve never had before. By the time we realize how unimpressive someone like “Giraffe Mom” really is, we’re on to the next homegrown “celeb” that Buzzfeed tells us we should be obsessing over. Unfortunately this is the kind of culture that makes many of us falsely believe that success and happiness are just one click away and we don’t have to put in the work or answer to anyone along the way. The reality is most of us won’t be Mark Zuckerberg or some West Coast brown haired blue-eyed social media influencer, but not being that isn’t the same as not being successful. In short, many of my fellow millennials completely missed the lesson of, “It doesn’t matter how fast you get it, what but how long you keep it.” I believe a good work ethic is a direct result of actually working your way up, and not being praised just because you showed up and did what you were supposed to do.

I love my generation. The truth is whether you’re 32 or 22, there is a spirit and energy about millennials that allows them to look at the world in a new way and work smarter not harder. We’re hustle personified. We’ve turned make-up tutorials into money makers, we create brands like nobody’s business, we don’t take kindly to tradition and we get ish done. But somewhere along the way I must say we may have lost sight of the fact that the hustle requires actual work and not just posting about it. Anything that’s worth having won’t come easy and when it comes to work ethic and experience, you’re going to need more than “doing it for the culture” to list as one of your professional skills.

Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a  passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

 

The post Wanted: Proper Work Ethic And Why Younger Millennials Are Missing It appeared first on MadameNoire.

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Nicki Minaj To Launch Official Charity For Student Loans And Tuition Payments

May 13, 2017, 7:18 am
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Nicki Minaj

Earlier this week, Nicki Minaj made headlines when she blessed some lucky fans (with great grades!) by paying off their college tuition balance.

According to The Root, the “No Frauds” rapper even confirmed her generous donation by posting the chosen few and the transactions on Instagram.

But Minaj isn’t done blessing her fans just yet. She went on to say that she plans to establish a charity to assist with financial aid matters: “I’ll do another impromptu payment spree in a month or 2 but pls know that I’m launching my official charity for Student Loans/Tuition Payments VERY SOON! You’ll be able to officially sign up! I’ll keep you posted!”

We see you, Nicki. We’ll have our eyes glued to her social media accounts for more information on the launch of the charity.

 

 

The post Nicki Minaj To Launch Official Charity For Student Loans And Tuition Payments appeared first on MadameNoire.

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