Consult your therapist

Re-connect with your girlfriends

That being said; stay true to yourself

Come to terms with your status

Do something that scares you

Develop a new routine

Say your thoughts on love

Think about your first dates with your ex

Treat yourself really well

Start having a blast

Speed date as an exercise

Put it out there that you’re ready

Get the 411 on online dating

Turn your home into your heaven

Know that divorce makes you wise, not “damaged goods”

Have the sex talk with yourself

Update your undies

Seek out new friendships

Stop hating your ex

Get excited!

The post Things To Do Before Dating After Divorce appeared first on MadameNoire.

Gina Conwell, the owner of Desired Extensions, has been helping women with alopecia through her hair extensions since 2009. Conwell got her start in the beauty industry young. Her parents have been in beauty supply business since 1964, owning a beauty supply house in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The family moved to Atlanta in 1969 and her mother, Robbie Conwell, opened All-N-1 Beauty Supply there, which is still in operation. When Conwell grew up, she became a sales rep for her mother’s business, and it was during this time that she decided to venture out on her own with her extensions focusing on women with alopecia.

The company offers 100% Virgin Indian weft hair, silk closure pieces, clip-ins, full lace wigs, and frontals, among other products. Conwell told MadameNoire why she decided to focus her extensions on women with alopecia and what her plans are to educate women and expand her business.

MadameNoire (MN): Why did you enter the beauty business?

Gina Conwell (GC): I grew up in the beauty industry. My father and mother owned a beauty supply store and my mother still runs another one they opened called All-N-1. I have always loved hair. Just don’t ask me to do your hair–I can’t do hair (laughs).

MN: What prompted you to focus on women with alopecia?

GC: Since I was going to various salons as a sales rep for my mother’s store, I was able to speak with the stylists about the needs of their clients. And one of the biggest issues was how to deal with hair loss. many of their clients were suffering from alopecia. So I saw the need and demand for hair extensions for these women. I started researching where I could find the highest quality of hair to make customized full-lace wigs, other hair pieces for women with alopecia, such as cancer patients.

MN: How was the transition from sales rep to entrepreneur?

GC: I wish I could tell you it was easy, but there were many challenges. When I decided to do this, I had to do a lot of research–four year’s worth of research to find the best hair. I also test tried all the products myself over a period of months.

MN: Are people very educated about alopecia?

GC: No, and I actually educate my customers and stylists about alopecia. There are various types, which are caused by different things. The more my clients understand alopecia, the better they are able to deal with it.

MN: What are some of the differences in creating extensions for women with alopecia versus the general Black hair market?

GC: It’s a very emotional stage for these women. Women have a strong connection to their hair, and when they experience baldness due to alopecia, from whatever reason–cancer, stress, heredity, hair treatments–it is very emotional. I sometimes have women in tears.

Also, you have to make sure the hair is of high quality and all of the material is good for sensitive skin. Many of the women who have alopecia, especially those dealing with cancer, have sensitive scalps–the skin may be thinner, the scalp may be irritated–so you have to be very careful with the types of products you offer. You don’t want to cause them any scalp irritation or discomfort.

MN: What are some upcoming plans for your business?

GC: We will be adding custom colors to our line so women can have exactly the hair color they want, especially women who want to match their real hair color, and we plan to do some pop-up shops in a few cities.

MN: What has been your biggest business lesson since venturing into entrepreneurship?

GC: The biggest lesson would be know your audience. I used to have a storefront location, and there came a point when I had to find a new store because they were tearing down the building and at this time I realized I really didn’t need a new storefront because I spent a majority of time out of the location and in my clients’ homes. Since many of my customers are dealing with cancer and might not feel well enough to venture out, I go to them. Also, I found that some women with alopecia were hesitant to come out to a location other than their home, even though I would guarantee their privacy and our store was in a private location. Plus, by going into the homes of my customers I am better able to get a feel of them and their lifestyles, which helps me find the type of hair and style they would best like. So now we are a totally customized hair business.

The post Desired Extensions Helps Women With Alopecia Find Hair That Fits Their Needs appeared first on MadameNoire.

We’ve been following the Bresha Meadows story for going on two years now. She’s the 15-year-old teen who shot her allegedly abusive father Jonathan Meadows in his sleep, nine months ago. After the shooting, Brandi, Bresha’s mother called the police. Jonathan was taken to the hospital and died as a result of his injuries.

Though her father’s history of abuse has been documented, going back to 2011, Meadows was arrested and there was a possibility that she could be charged as a adult, with the possibility of spending life in prison.

But after nine months in a juvenile detention center, it looks like things may be turning around for Meadows.

According to the Huffington Post, there is an end in sight. Bresha’s lawyer Ian Friedman told reporters that prosecutors have offered the 15-year-old a plea deal.

Under the deal, which is not yet completely finalized, Bresha would serve 18 months. The nine months she’s already spent in the juvenile center would be included in this time and the remaining nine months would be spent in an in-patient mental health care facility, receiving treatment for PTSD, anxiety and depression.

As a part of the plea, Bresha would have to plead “true” to the involuntary manslaughter charges. Afterward, her record would be sealed and then expunged so she can start her adult life without a criminal record.

Friedman said, “There has been too much trauma here,” he said. “A treatment sentence would meet the desires of the family, and we as counsel would be comfortable with it as well.”

Bresha’s family members are happy about the deal.

Brianna Meadows, her sister said she’s excited to take her sister to Applebee’s. “I want to do everything we used to do,” she said. “Go to the mall. Go to the movies. Go out to eat.”
Her brother Jonathan Jr. said he wanted to put his sister in a headlock. “I’m usually cool, calm and relaxed,” he said, “but this morning I was so nervous!”

And her mother said, “I am beyond relieved. I can sleep tonight, knowing that she’s going to get the help she needs.”

Bresha’s maternal aunt, Martina Latessa, a Cleveland detective who specializes in domestic violence, thanked Friedman for taking on Bresha’s case pro-bono.

“If he did not step in, that little girl would have been just another black girl incarcerated because the system let her down,” Latessa said. “She would have fallen through the cracks.”

She also said that one day she hopes Bresha will be able to share her story with other victims of domestic violence.

“No one wants to talk about it, it’s such a secret. In her case, it almost killed her.”
Bresha’s final pretrial hearing is set for May 22.

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and on Instagram and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post Bresha Meadows Offered A Plea Deal In The Alleged Murder Of Her Father appeared first on MadameNoire.

That first little “Orange Is The New Black” teaser was just not enough. But after Netflix released the extended version today, we have a better sense of what might take place in June.

The ladies are going to be taking a stand for themselves. And not just holding guards captive, from the looks of things there will be protesting, organizing and speaking out against some of the mistreatment they’ve been experiencing.

Check it out in the video below.

Season 5 of “Orange Is The New Black” will start streaming on June 9.

The post Watch The Extended Trailer For Season 5 Of “Orange Is The New Black” appeared first on MadameNoire.

For all of the smiling Simone Biles does, you know she’s not happy when a grin is nowhere to be found. And while most of us understand that not every moment is a smile-worthy one, some men still don’t get it. If you’re being complimented, if you’re being spoken to, hell, if you’re being seen, some are of the mindset that it wouldn’t kill a woman to crack a smile.

As Biles listened to the critiques of the judges on Monday’s Dancing With the Stars, part of week eight of competition, she was clearly tired — physically and mentally. So when host Tom Bergeron said he was shocked that she didn’t smile when she was occasionally complimented by one of the judges, she had to politely get him together.

Quick backstory though. Biles performed twice on Monday doing the foxtrot with her partner Sasha Farber, and the paso trio with Farber and dancer Brittany Cherry.

One of the big criticisms of Biles following both dances was a lack of authenticity. They felt like she smiled too much during the foxtrot, but then felt like she was trying too hard not to smile while doing the paso trio. From the outside looking in, despite giving some great performances, it felt like she couldn’t do enough to get a break from the judges, let alone a 10. So by the second critique of the night, which basically came off like, “If you’re still here, try again next week, hon,” Biles was over it. She had the right to be. However, host Bergeron was hoping she would crack a smile:

Bergeron: I gotta quickly ask. I was waiting for you to smile at some of the compliments. You didn’t.

As he said this, Biles put on a faux smile. To this, judge Carrie Ann said, “She’s being real!”

Biles: Smiling doesn’t win you gold medals.

While a few clueless folks claimed that Biles needed to “drop the attitude,” most agreed that if they were in her shoes, they would have probably said a lot worse to Bergeron.

For the record though, Biles explained her comment to Entertainment Tonight.

“I feel like everyone has their own opinion, clearly, and I feel it’s just how you take it,” Biles said. “I feel like I am trying, I am being honest, but if they don’t see that, I don’t know what more I can do.”

Image via WENN

The post This Is What Happens When You Ask Simone Biles To Smile appeared first on MadameNoire.

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It’s affecting your work

You panic if your phone dies

You’ve done it while on a real date

It’s keeping you awake

You’re spending too much money on it

People say you’re tuned out

You’re always taking new profile pictures

You’ve had everyone critique your profile

You move on very quickly

“Online dating” is one of your interests

Real dates make you nervous

You’re always brainstorming for your profile

You’re sad if you don’t have messages

You’re starting to confuse guys

You have all the notifications set up

You’ve seen everyone online now

You check your messages in the middle of the night

You online date instead of socializing

Correspondence dictates your moods

You’re lowering your standards

The post Are You Addicted To Online Dating? appeared first on MadameNoire.

You only call people when you have drama

Your drama leaves your friends emotionally drained

You find out everything about your friends' lives on social media

You're a dream crusher

And you don't support them when they actually do it.

You're needy

And you don't reciprocate

You regularly put men before your girls

You tell your friends' business

You're concerned with status

The post Circle So Small You Almost Cut Yourself Off? 10 Signs You’re A Bad Friend appeared first on MadameNoire.

You pee before and after the deed

You drink more water

You ease up on your joints

You handle stress differently

You find a doctor you like

You actually track what you eat

You drink only on the weekends (ish)

You get those eight hours of sleep

You get rid of toxic friends

You care about your birth control

You get things checked out

You don’t share as much

You make more food at home

You kick the energy drinks

You care about being regular

You avoid burn out

You stop asking your friends for medical advice

You ditch the high heels

You invest more in good friendships

You talk to your mom about her health

The post Health Changes Most Women Make By Their 30s appeared first on MadameNoire.

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A new summer bag is as essential as summer sandals, and with the warm season just a little over a month away, it’s high time you start thinking about that statement piece to wear to the barbecues, beach parties, and vacation getaways already filling up your calendar.

Whether you’re a backpack girl, live for crossbody bags, or love a great clutch, we’ve got something for everyone on this list of bags that will practically will summer to come sooner. Just take your pick — or two!

JDust Embellished Envelope Clutch-$68

Kane Custom Stripe Mini Backpack -$50.00

Malachite Acrylic Ark–$298

Tonal Suede Crossbody Bag-$49.95

South Beach Drawstring Shoulder Bag In Lullaby Pink-$38.00

The post 7 Stylish Handbags That Scream Summer appeared first on MadameNoire.

When I was in college, one of the most popular shows to watch was Rob & Big on MTV. It aired from 2006 to 2008. The antics of stars Rob Dyrdek and BFF Christopher “Big Black” Boykin were hilarious, and their friendship, one between a professional skateboarder and his bodyguard, genuine. Boykin was particularly comical and full of life. So imagine the shock and sadness so many felt yesterday when news broke that Boykin had passed away abruptly at the age of 45.

According to PEOPLE, a rep for the former reality star confirmed that he’d died following a heart attack. And while the magazine cited the star as 6’6″ and 375 pounds, since the end of his Rob & Big days, Boykin had lost weight. According to TMZ though, a week prior to his death, he was hospitalized in Plano, Texas to have his heart health monitored. Boykin was already having heart issues and even had a defibrillator implanted.

MTV issued a statement upon learning of the star’s death.

“MTV is deeply saddened to learn the news of Christopher ‘Big Black’ Boykin’s passing,” it read. “He was a longtime and beloved member of the MTV family and will be greatly missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends at this time.”

As for Drydek, he shared an emotional message for Boykin on Instagram, saying his “heart is broken”:

He leaves behind a 9-year-old daughter named Isis Rae Boykin that he had during his marriage to ex-wife Shannon Turley. According to TMZ, despite their marriage ending in 2009, he recently started staying with Turley in Texas so that she could aid him as his heart health declined. She also confirmed the news very early this morning and shared the following message:

This is Shannon, Big Black’s ex-wife, I’m heartbroken to tell you of Black’s passing. He’s everything to me and Isis and we will miss him 💔😢

— Big Black (@BigBlack) May 10, 2017

Image via WENN 

The post Christopher “Big Black” Boykin Of Rob & Big Fame Dies At 45 Of Heart Attack appeared first on MadameNoire.

Grandmother finishes what she started; gets TSU degree after 55 years. See NewsChannel 5 video: https://t.co/hFjkIgE5uh pic.twitter.com/gWQBHzJcKU

— Tennessee State Univ (@TSUedu) May 8, 2017

It’s never too late to complete a goal. That was certainly the case for 72-year-old Darlene Mullins who graduated from college after a 55-year-hiatus.

Mullins, a grandmother of four, received her degree from Tennessee State University when she graduated last weekend with a degree in Interdisciplinary Studies.

Mullins first began her study at TSU in 1962. But something–or someone got in the way.

“Love got in the way,” said Mullins who will celebrate 54 years of marriage in August.

She met fellow student John Mullins, from Illinois, who she described as dashing, handsome and “everything to behold.”

In 2014, she told Alumni Life, a campus magazine, “I thought he was the finest thing walking on the campus.”

Their relationship blossomed and the two were married a short while afterward. John stayed in school and graduated while Darlene took on the role of caring for their home and raising a family.

But it wasn’t just the education, she put on hold. There were also aspirations of becoming an Olympic athlete.

“I came to TSU because I ran track. I wanted to go to the 1964 Olympics. Wilma Rudolph was my idol and I was on my way. I get to TSU and meet the great coach (Ed) Temple, but we bumped heads because I had to make a choice between his track team or Mr. John Mullins.”

She chose John and the two went on to have two children, several grandchildren together. When her children got older, Darlene worked in retail and cosmetology.

Meanwhile, John worked in the corporate world and government agencies before starting his own marketing and advertising agency called Lions Group, Inc in Dallas, Texas.

Despite the family’s success, Darlene said she never forgot about her education.

“Something kept nagging at me. I always told my children to make sure they finish what they started and I kind of felt it was time to live up to my own advice.”

When Darlene decided that she wanted to go back and earn her degree, John did not hesitate.

“I love this woman so much and always told her whenever you are ready we will go because this is something I knew she always wanted and I will do nothing to hold her back,” John said.

In 2013, the couple moved back to Tennessee to allow Darlene to return to campus and classes. She took as many as 20 credit hours and maintained great grades.

“My goal was to come back and finish at Tennessee State. I didn’t know at the time how long it was going to take, I just knew I had to do it,” she said.

Darlene completed her coursework in four years and graduated summa cum laude.

“My graduation from college, for me, confirms that I completed what I started more than 50 years ago,” Darlene said. “I am happy.”

The post Darlene Mullins Completes College Degree 55 Years After She Started appeared first on MadameNoire.

In 2015, after dating for a year, singer LeToya Luckett and Rob Hillman, a.k.a., author and beloved Internet self-help enthusiast Rob Hill, Sr., got engaged. According to TMZ, the pair quietly wed in January of 2016 before splitting up a little over two months later.

They never opened up about the fact that they were actually married, but when speaking on the end of their relationship, Hill said in August that “There’s certain things that she needs to do over there, for herself. And there’s certain things that I need to do over here. And we’ve realized that we can’t do those together, right now.”

That was the most he could say about their split because according to a clause in their divorce, public statements and social media postings about one another, along with “photos, videos, recordings or other documents” shared with the public were prohibited.

But Luckett is sharing her side of their story, and did so while being interviewed by The Breakfast Club this week. As expected though, she kept it classy and said she had no regrets about the way she handled things in that relationship. Here are the deets she shared:

What Went Wrong:

I think, and I can’t really speak on it like that, but anytime you open up and allow yourself to love and love hard, that’s the risk you take of it possibly not working out. And although we really did love and care for each other, it just didn’t turn out the way we wanted it to. I wish him the best. It sucks, you know what I mean? Because I’m as real it gets. I’m a real person. You can ask anybody who knows me. I do this, this is my day job, but I’m a lover at heart. I’m a friend. I like real people, I like real things. I share real emotions, especially through my music, which I did on this album. But, you know, heartbreak happens when you open up and allow yourself to love.

The Role That Heartbreak Played in Her New Album, Back 2 Life:

He was there for some of it. I think after listening back to the album, I could definitely listen to some of my own records after that experience. Because music has helped me heal from the beginning of my life. I remember as a kid, my first breakup at 14 years old, I was jamming to Toni Braxton trying to heal out here. Why did an angel break my heart? Hell, I don’t know. Music has always done that for me. So I definitely sat back and listened to some of my records and gone, “Dang.”

Details on LeToya Luckett & Rob Hill Sr’s Divorce After 2 Mo Secret Marriage (Vid) https://t.co/sAkksBrq5x pic.twitter.com/oniQrOjmI7

— BlackSportsOnline (@BSO) August 1, 2016

What She Thinks of Hill Giving Relationship Advice But Not Being Able to Sustain a Marriage:

I’m sure that’s tough. I’ve been on panels and even in some of my music I give great advice, and then I find myself in a situation like, “Well that was stupid.” But at the same time, you live and you learn and that’s what life is about. Just taking those experiences and learning from them. I’ve been blessed to love some awesome people. Not just with boyfriend and girlfriend relationships, but I’ve had some awesome people in my life. Even though I bumped my head in a few things, like we all do, I can honestly say I’m a better person for it and I learned from every single situation. It taught me a lot, and hell, it’s helped to make me into the woman I am today.

If She Regrets Sharing So Much of That Relationship:

When you’re in the moment, you want to share. You want to share with the world what you’re feeling and what’s on your heart. And you’re like, “I found love, woohooo!” Because it’s rare to get along with somebody and to relate to somebody and all that stuff like that. So in the moment, I didn’t feel that way. I have no regrets about sharing.

If She Would Give Rob a Second Chance:

I’m just in a great space right now and I’m sure he is too. I’d rather not go backwards. I know what that did — me and Slim [Thug] went back and forth for 10 years. I’m all for forward movement.

Image via Splash and WENN 

The post LeToya Luckett Says She “Really Did Love And Care For” Ex-Husband Rob Hill, Sr. appeared first on MadameNoire.

If you’ll recall, when we were first introduced to Laura Govan on Basketball Wives LA in 2011, she looked a lot different than she does now. She had just had her fourth child, and as she put it in a recent interview with The Doctors, “I never felt so uncomfortable in my own body.”

Before having her kids, she was 117 pounds, and by the time we met her at her biggest weight, she was 234 pounds. So she set a goal to get down to 130 pounds, and from there, did the work to get there.

“I had to change my whole lifestyle,” Govan said. “I do conditioning, running, weightlifting. But I fell in love with yoga.”

Not only that, but she had to change her diet completely.

“I just try to eat a lot of green stuff, stay hydrated,” she said. “I eat a lot of kale, spinach, green apples, cucumbers. I always have my apple-cider vinegar!”

It took a year for her to get the weight off. Staying focused and dropping the pounds at her own pace helped Govan, and she says it can help other moms trying to get back to a weight they’re comfortable with.

“Once you learn to live in your own skin, everything else just comes into place,” she said. “Take your time, restructure your life, and do what works for you.”

But another thing that motivated her diet change that wasn’t working for the 37-year-old mother of four were the consistent yeast infections she was having while on her weight-loss journey.

“I can’t break sugar down,” she said. There’s so much sugar in so many things. Changing my diet was hard. It was a struggle.”

She makes it clear that while she didn’t “go around smelling like salmon croquette,” there was a “little cardboard” smell and an overhaul of discharge going on down below. She saw her doctor to help get things under control.

“When I went in we did the swabbing, we did the whole gammut, but I feel like – you’re right – if it’s not diagnosed properly and treated properly, they’re reoccurring,” she said. “It’s like, let’s deal with the issue – ‘I don’t want to see you again.'”

Aside from a diet change (including a lot of water to flush out toxins and laying off of sugar — “I can’t even eat a Starbust,” she said), she had to get on an antibiotic regimen and make a shift to cotton underwear as opposed to the thongs she was wearing. They can slide from the rectum to the vagina and make vaginal health all the more complicated.

“Oooo them thongs boy!” Govan said. “Won’t they do it, won’t they do it.”

Image via WENN 

The post Laura Govan On Completely Changing Her Diet To Lose The Weight After Baby No. 4 appeared first on MadameNoire.

Shonda Rhimes has always said that she knew how “Scandal” would end. And that it wouldn’t be the type of series to last that long. And apparently the end is neigh.

Reports are confirming that the show, which recently celebrated its 100th episode, will end next year, after its seventh season. Sources claim that ABC is set to make the announcement during their upfront presentation.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, “Scandal” has been through some changes. There were times when I had nearly given up on the show. But thankfully, I was always willing to give it a chance and I’m happy to say that once Olivia left Fitz the hell alone, things improved quite a bit.

And as with most creative endeavors, it’s good to go out on a high note.

Personally, I’ll be interested to see how Shonda and the team tie everything up.

What do you think about the series ending?

The post “Scandal” Will Reportedly End After Its Seventh Season appeared first on MadameNoire.

Denzel and Pauletta Washington

Stephen and Ayesha Curry

Samuel Jackson and LaTanya Richardson

Jada Pinkett and Will Smith

Angela Bassett and Courtney B. Vance

Keisha and Omar Epps

Beyoncé and Jay Z

Michelle and Barack Obama

Tamia and Grant Hill

Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe

The post How 10 Of Your Favorite Black Couples Met And Fell In Love appeared first on MadameNoire.

Say hi and bye properly

Be happy to help your partner

Touch each other as much as you can

Recognize when they cannot talk about it

Accept what you can’t change

See a win for him as a win for you

Ask; don’t accuse

Resist paranoid thoughts

Welcome a full house

Ask, “Will this matter in a year?”

Never chastising in public

Saying, “I love you” a lot

Fully accepting apologies

Not dwelling on the day

Living below your means

Nurture relationships with his family

Don’t over-schedule one another

Don’t complain to your friends (too much)

Always have an adventure on the books

Always surprise each other

The post Good Marriage Habits To Develop Early appeared first on MadameNoire.

During a recent press trip abroad, an interesting conversation/slash debate arose between myself and two other women about whether traveling too much is essentially relationship suicide.

While the idea that traveling often hinders you from being able to connect with someone in your home base and build the type of intimacy that could lead to a relationship isn’t a new concept, this discussion centered around the idea that heterosexual Black men don’t travel often and if you want to be involved with a heterosexual Black man you’re most likely going to need to keep your a– at home more often than not.

That wasn’t an appealing proposition to the woman in our group who was feeling hopeful about her romantic prospects after relocating. As an avid traveler, she let it be known that one of the first questions she asks a man when they engage in conversation is where was your last trip? “And if he says Vegas or Miami, I already know we’re not compatible.” The implication there being that he’s more into wild travels with sexual undertones than actually exploring different cultures and having new experiences. #NotInterested

Let the other woman tell it, that’s Black men’s travel M.O. And when the dating hopeful said she’d be willing to open a potential suitor or partner’s eyes to the wonder of travel abroad, i.e., “I’ll just bring him on my trips with me,” ol’ girl said that’s most likely not going to happen. Paraphrased, she said something along the lines of, “Men like their women to be home; they like stability, and knowing where their woman is.”

Try as I might to quell the independent woman in me, I couldn’t help but blurt out, “That’s what I can’t stand about men; that they need to be taken care of like a child.”

“That’s because they judge us against their moms,” she told me. “Their moms were home. They may not have been stay-at-home moms per say but they were there when they needed them and they knew were to find them.”

I rolled my eyes just as the waves rolled onto the sand and said to myself, “I’m probably never getting married.” I also allowed for the fact that she is from the southern region of the country to account for some of the differences in our relationship ideology.

But just as that thought came to mind, I heard the same woman say, “That’s why I can’t stay gone too long.” Mental waves were literally crashing in my head at this point as I questioned whether I heard right. Again, paraphrased, she stated something along the lines of “I don’t want to be gone too long, ‘cuz if I’m not there…”

When her voice trailed off, I asked how long she’d been in her relationship to mask my disgust at the “What I won’t do another woman will” logic as she talked about men wanting to know the woman they’re with will create a home for them and any children. I was basically word vomiting in my mouth by this point so I had to state my objection to women always having to be the one to sacrifice to make a man feel secure. That’s when she told me “That’s what we do as women.”

Now obviously there are a lot of ways to look at this conversation. ‘Ol girl has found balance in her life, traveling when the opportunity presents itself and maintaining a relationship for a year by adopting a “Latoya Maria Epstein” approach to keeping a man. That means being a sassy, sexy, let-me-cater-to-you type of woman who is still about her business. I, on the other hand, am not interested in sacrificing amazing personal or professional opportunities for a relationship at this stage in my life, which is a long-winded way of saying I’m single. The third woman is sure that a Black man who enjoys luxury travel as much as she does and respects her entrepreneurial hustle is not a unicorn. I concur, though I do think he might be damn hard to find.

At the end of the day, it comes down to what matters to you most. If you absolutely live to travel, you have to be with a man who not only is comfortable with you spreading your wings, but wants to spread his as well. Certainly, you can’t expect a partner to basically operate as if you’re in a long-distance relationship because you enjoy traveling so much, but this idea that a man — particularly a Black man — is going to automatically dismiss you as a potential partner because you don’t “stay home,” well, all I can think of is Chimimanda Adiche’s quote about men who are intimidated by her: That’s exactly the type of man I don’t want.

What do you think? Is it impossible to not just find love, but keep it as a woman who loves to travel?

The post Can You Travel Your Way Out Of A Relationship? appeared first on MadameNoire.