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Andre Carter And Towanda Braxton Are Having The Most Civil Divorce Ever

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@iknowandre and @itowandabraxton back in the day 😎 #andrecarter #braxtonfamilyvalues #towandabraxton

A post shared by Towanda Braxton 👑 (@towandadaily) on

Towanda Braxton and Andre Carter seem to be having what appears to be an extremely pleasant divorce.

Perhaps that was because we could all see that the writing on the wall was already there. Everyone under the sun knew that these two wouldn’t likely stay married. And so instead of fighting each other in the process, they simply spent their time figuring out how they were going to separate their lives from one another and continue to co-parent their children.
They have two children together, 11-year-old Braxton and 10-year-old Brooke.

Our sister site Bossip, discovered that Towanda and Andre agreed to leave the marriage with only what they brought into it. Not only that, though Towanda makes three times more than Carter, after thirteen years, both sides agreed not to pay alimony or child support.

Though the couple married in 2004, Towanda said that they have been living separately for the past three years. On the divorce papers, she cited the reason for the disillusion of their marriage as irreconcilable differences.

The process has been so civil that Carter not only represented himself in the divorce, he agreed to joint custody of their children and that Towanda would have the final say when it came to decisions of religion, education, and extracurricular activities if they can’t agree.

While Carter did have problems with the way producers portrayed him on the show. He said they never offered an explanation as to why he never seemed to have a job.

But it would seem that he was able to separate the actions of the producers from his now ex-wife.

Andre and Towanda also promised not to trash talk one another in front of their children, be good role models and not use their children as middlemen.

The document, signed by both Carter and Braxton said, “Each shall refrain from conduct which does or may undermine a positive relationship between each child and the other parent.

Towanda can go back to her maiden name if she wants and each party will get to keep their own checking accounts, 401K, cars and savings accounts.

If you ask me, this is how divorce should be done. Just beautiful.

Kudos to Andre and Towanda.

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post Andre Carter And Towanda Braxton Are Having The Most Civil Divorce Ever appeared first on MadameNoire.


Do You Need Professional Help To Have A Healthy Relationship?

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[caption id="attachment_812796" align="aligncenter" width="1068"] A shot of an interracial couple having a relationship conflict/Bigstockphoto.com[/caption] When we need to fix a broken arm, we see a doctor. When we need to fix a broken carburetor, we see a mechanic. When we need to fill a gap in our knowledge about something, we take a class taught by an expert in the matter. It is so normal, in almost every area of our lives, to recognize that there are trained professionals who are more knowledgeable on how to fix and improve upon things than we are, and we go to them willingly when something isn’t quite right. And yet, a lot of us resist seeking a therapist when our ability to carry on a healthy romantic relationship isn’t quite what it could be. Therapists can analyze your life and habits, and figure out what you’re doing wrong and why you’re doing it—just the way a mechanic can tell you what’s wrong with your car and why it happened. So, do you need to see a therapist before you can have a healthy relationship? Here are signs that answer is yes. [caption id="attachment_821064" align="aligncenter" width="1068"] Young black couple having relationship problems at home[/caption]

You’ve never seen a breakup coming

All of your breakups have taken you entirely by surprise. That isn’t normal—that means that you are unaware of harmful dynamics while they are happening, and not very good at reading whether or not your partner is happy. [caption id="attachment_723998" align="alignleft" width="414"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’ve never called someone your boyfriend

Whether or not you’ve ever dated someone for a long time, you have never called somebody your boyfriend. You treat labels like some sort of a disease that should be avoided at all costs. [caption id="attachment_713081" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You’ve never dated someone for more than a month

If you are in your thirties or older and have never dated somebody for even one straight month, something could be off. It’s perfectly normal not to have found the one yet, but not to have even found someone you could enjoy and get along with for four weeks says something… [caption id="attachment_719925" align="alignleft" width="500"]engagement ring box Shutterstock[/caption]

You’ve been engaged several times

Becoming engaged is a huge deal and, if done correctly, only has to be done once. If you’ve broken off several engagements, that means you completely misinterpret whether or not someone is the person you should spend your life with. You should get some clarity on that matter. [caption id="attachment_624985" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You’ve lived with a lot of people you’ve broken up with

You have lived with a lot of partners. In fact, you’ve moved in with most of them. Then you broke up, and it was a disaster. What does it say about you that you can, at one point, think you’re so connected to someone that you should sign a lease together and at another want nothing to do with them? A therapist may be able to tell you. [caption id="attachment_614018" align="alignleft" width="422"] Corbis Images[/caption]

You get tired of relationships around the same time

You have a pattern; all of your relationships end around the same time. Maybe it’s not a specific timeline (like three months or one year) but it’s around the same event or series of events. [caption id="attachment_614346" align="alignleft" width="420"]woman serious sad mother Shutterstock[/caption]

Your relationships consume your mind

You think about relationships a lot, whether or not you’re in one. Often, the thing in our life that we know is “broken” or off is the thing we obsess over. [caption id="attachment_704639" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You won’t talk to your friends about your relationships

If you know, deep down, that divulging your habits and behaviors in relationships would raise a hundred red flags for your friends, then you should certainly seek professional help. [caption id="attachment_722347" align="alignleft" width="380"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’ve tried to make several adjustments

You have tried to fix things; you’ve read every self-help book out there, attempted different communication techniques and every couples' bonding retreat available. It is beginning to feel like fixing this is beyond your capabilities. [caption id="attachment_626809" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You think you may stop dating entirely

You’re considering joining a convent because you just have absolutely no idea what you could do at this point to have a healthy, long-lasting relationship. [caption id="attachment_723513" align="alignleft" width="417"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’re very impulsive

You plan vacations with men you’ve been on one date with, you get engaged after three months of dating, you consider buying a house with a man who you’ve only been with for five months. [caption id="attachment_705555" align="alignleft" width="414"] Shutterstock[/caption]

There has been abuse in your relationships

If there has been any type of abuse in your relationships—physical, emotional, mental or otherwise—you should certainly see a therapist. [caption id="attachment_701653" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

People have stopped setting you up

People have stopped setting you up or even mentioning somebody they think you should meet because they think, “What’s the point? She’ll just do what she always does.” [caption id="attachment_821055" align="aligncenter" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/Attractive couple having an argument on couch at home in the living room[/caption]

Several exes have said you should see someone

Several exes, when you broke up, have looked you in the eye and earnestly said, “I hope you get help one day.” They weren't being condescending; it was genuine. [caption id="attachment_620944" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You feel doom around the subject

You feel a sense of doom and anxiety around the subject of relationships. If someone asks you a simple, “When was your last serious relationship” you get nauseous.

The post Do You Need Professional Help To Have A Healthy Relationship? appeared first on MadameNoire.

The Simply Summer’s Eve Line & 5 Other Must-Have On-The-Go Down Below Cleansers

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summer's eve

This time last week, I had the chance to go to a really fun surfing event put on by Summer’s Eve and Surfset New York to celebrate the launch of their newest Simply line of foaming wash and cleansing cloths. I have since had the chance to use them after working out and the cloths, free of dyes, harsh chemicals, alcohol and parabens but full of botanical extracts, not only make you feel fresh but smell fresh as well. The newest products are set to hit shelves soon and will come in a light mandarin blossom and coconut water scent. They will be made available in a 24-count softpack, a 14-count individual wrapped box and a 5 oz. gentle foaming wash.

But Summer’s Eve isn’t alone in making a great light wipe for women looking to freshen up quickly when they don’t have enough time for a shower. Here are five other brands with vaginal cleansers that are perfect for the woman on the go.

Swipes Lovin Wipes All Natural Flushable Intimate Towelettes, Unscented $7 

This pack of wipes just so happen to be all natural, eco-friendly, biodegradable, compostable towelettes infused with aloe and vitamin E. You don’t have to worry about irritating alcohol, chlorine and dyes.

SweetSpot Labs On-the-Go-Wipettes $9

Coming in seven individually wrapped wipes, a box of SweetSpot labs towelettes are made of everything from cucumber and chamomile to aloe vera and marshmallow.

Fat and the Moon Kooch Quench $12

Because aside from getting rid of possible odors, it’s nice to have a product that deals with uncomfortable dryness, too. This product is made with coconut oil, as well as chamomile and lavender and makes for “an antiseptic, anti-inflammatory environment causing those uninvited guests to bounce.”

GoodWipes Deodorizing Body Biodegradable Wipes $10

These wipes, with their cute “GoodWipes in My Bag, Swag” Beyoncé-inspired message are great for all over the body, cooling the skin with the help of tea tree oil, ginseng and peppermint.

La Fresh Travel Feminine Hygiene Wipes $14

The pocket-sized La Fresh wipes are biodegradable and compostable, not to mention that they’re made with aloe, chamomile, cucumber, marshmallow and vitamin E for the win.

The post The Simply Summer’s Eve Line & 5 Other Must-Have On-The-Go Down Below Cleansers appeared first on MadameNoire.

Tia Mowry Talks Running Into Tamar, A Possible “Sister, Sister” Reboot And Healthy Recipes

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If you hadn’t noticed, the Mowry sisters are not new to this television thing. They’re true to this. And their brand has never been drama. Still, the timing of Tia’s appearance on Wendy’s show, to promote her new cookbook was a little too convenient.

Just yesterday, we wrote about Tamar Braxton running into Tia Mowry-Hardrict in the airport. And seeing as how Tamar has been anything but subtle about her disconnection from the women of “The Real,” there was strong likelihood that the interaction could have gone left. But according to Tamar it didn’t at all. In fact, she said “Hi” to Tia.

Today, Tia Mowry appeared on Wendy’s show to promote her new cookbook Whole New You.

With the timing being as perfect as it was, you already know Wendy had to ask Tia how everything went down.

“So when you were in the airport and you ran into Tamar…”

“I knew you were going to say something. I know you too well. Ok, what you want to know?”

“She said ‘hi.’ You said ‘hi.’ Were you on the same flight, were you close?”

“We were on the same flight.”

“Five hours! Trapped?!”

“Tamar was so kind, so nice. Her husband was so nice, her son. It was great. I didn’t even have an escort when I got on the plane and they had an escort so they were like, ‘C’mon Tia come with us.’ So we were able to board the plane together and that was that.”

“And that’s that. Don’t start none won’t be none.”

In addition to that little bit of intel, she also asked Tia if she would be willing to do a “Sister, Sister” reboot.

See what she had to say.

“I would love to do a “Sister, Sister” reboot. I will say, it’s closer than ever to making that happen. We’re trying to make it no longer a rumor. And everybody’s on board so far, so we’ll see.”

That’s the real tea.

Are you here for a “Sister, Sister” reboot?

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post Tia Mowry Talks Running Into Tamar, A Possible “Sister, Sister” Reboot And Healthy Recipes appeared first on MadameNoire.

This Jean-Michel Basquiat Makeup Collection Is A Work Of Art

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Jean-Michel Basquiat's influence on the art world and pop culture as a whole lives on nearly 30 years after the painter passed away in 1988. And Urban Decay is honoring that legacy with a new makeup collection in his namesake coming this spring. The 12-piece special-edition collection contains eyeshadow and blush palettes, eye pencils, lipsticks, and makeup bags inspired by the young artist's work. And while the packaging is reason enough to get our hands on these items, we're also in love with the range of shades from eyeliners and eyeshadows in bright blues and greens to neutral browns and beiges for the cheeks, eyes and lips. The collection doesn't drop until April  20, but here's a sneak peek at what's in store so you can save up your coins now. Tell us which items you've got you eye on.

UD JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT Lipstick (Abstract, Epigram, and Exhibition) $17 each

UD JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT Tenant Eyeshadow Palette

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UD JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT Gold Griot Eyeshadow Palette $39

UD JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT 1983 Cosmetic Bag-$20

UD JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT Gallery Cosmetic Bag $18

UD JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT Untitled Cosmetic Bag $35

UD JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT Gallery Blush Palette $34

UD JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil (Post Punk, Anatomy, and Vivid) $20 each

UD JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT Vault $165

The post This Jean-Michel Basquiat Makeup Collection Is A Work Of Art appeared first on MadameNoire.

Black Blondes: Celebrity Women Of Color Who’ve Walked On The Bright Side

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Are you bold enough to dye your hair bleach blond? What about wearing a bright blond wig? While we all love a good auburn, a fun blue black, or a rich brown, many women who dare to step on the bright side end up really being the ones to really stand out. The following celebrity women have at one time or another (or always in a few cases), delved into blond hair, whether it's a long weave, a short cut dyed blond or a fun wig. It's unclear whether or not Black blondes have more fun, but they definitely turn heads! Check out 12 stars who rocked the look in fierce and unique ways. black women blond hair

Eva Marcille

Cynthia Erivo

Cynthia Erivo

Keri Hilson

Keri Hilson

Zoe Kravitz

Zoe Kravitz

Lil Kim

Lil Kim

Blu Cantrell

Blu Cantrell

Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj

NeNe Leakes

NeNe Leakes

Mary J. Blige

Mary J. Blige

Willow Smith

Willow Smith

Rihanna blond hair

Rihanna

Beyonce

Beyoncé

Images via WENN

The post Black Blondes: Celebrity Women Of Color Who’ve Walked On The Bright Side appeared first on MadameNoire.

10 Items Under $10 To Get You In The St. Patty’s Day Spirit Even If You’re Not Irish

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Okay, so we know tomorrow isn’t really about most of us — though shout out to all those beautiful Black ladies out there repping Irish roots. Still, what has become one of many holidays that’s been reduced to an excuse to drink (heavily), is also a great excuse to be festive, even if you don’t share the culture being celebrated. On St. Patty’s Day men and women love to rock green from head to toe, and though we doubt you’ll do all that, if you plan on stepping out to your local bar for a green beer you should at least look the part of an invested pub crawler. So here are 10 items under $10 that you can pull off easily — and pick up on your way home from work — to get in the St. Patrick’s Day spirit.

MAC

Little MAC Zoom Lash Mascara – Green is Green ($10)

St. Patrick’s Day Bracelet Tattoos ($1.99)

Shamrock Headband Bopper ($6.07)

Cover Girl XL Nail Gel – Plump it Pear ($6.60)

NYX Slide On pencil – Esmeralda ($8)

St. Patrick’s Day Green Clover Headband ($5)

St. Patrick’s Day Liquid Luck Flask ($5)

Sephora Collection Eyeshadow- Picnic in the Park ($5)

Nicka K New York Vivid Matte Lipstick NMS11 ($2.99)

Love Shamrock Tank Top ($9.99)

The post 10 Items Under $10 To Get You In The St. Patty’s Day Spirit Even If You’re Not Irish appeared first on MadameNoire.

Vernice “FlyGirl” Armour Replaces The Brawny Man For Women’s History Month

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Brawny Paper Towels has pulled out all the stops for Women’s History Month, choosing Vernice Armour to replace their signature Brawny Man on their products this March.

Armour, the first African-American female naval aviator in the Marine Corps and the first African American female combat pilot in the U.S. Armed Forces, is one of three women breaking down barriers that were chosen to replace the Brawny Man this month as part of the brand’s #strengthhasnogender movement.

“It’s truly an honor to be part of this great initiative that recognizes that there are women and girls everywhere, from different walks of society, in different professions, who are accomplishing amazing things and forging paths for future generations,” Armour said in a news release. “We’ve come a long way but we still have a lot of work left to do.”

Armour has certainly done her part. In addition to serving two tours in the gulf and flying the AH-1W SuperCobra attack helicopter in the 2003 invasion of Iraq, the Chicago native was a police officer, professional football player, and back-to-back winner of Camp Pendleton’s Strongest Warrior Competition. With all of those accomplishments under her belt, it makes sense she advises women, “You have to look at life as a big juicy orange and squeeze all the pulp and juice out of it. Life is about living to the fullest and having fun in the process.”

We’ll toast a mimosa to that!

The post Vernice “FlyGirl” Armour Replaces The Brawny Man For Women’s History Month appeared first on MadameNoire.


Comeback Kids: Tyra Banks Returning To Host, Judge “ANTM,” Shemar Moore Heading Back To “Criminal Minds”

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They just can’t stay away.

tyra banks ANTM shemar criminal minds

Despite leaving her post after cycle 22 to focus on her new makeup line, Tyra Beauty, being an advisor on Celebrity Apprentice, as well as motherhood, Tyra Banks will return to host and represent as lead judge of cycle 24 of America’s Next Top Model.

Banks dipped out after the series made a move from the CW to VH1, and stayed on when the new season aired as an executive producer (also making occasional appearances). But it sounds like she missed her role in front of the camera, and so did fans of the show.

Fellow executive producer Ken Mok said loyal “ANTM” fans were hoping Banks would be back to groom the prospective top models, smizing along the way.

“Tyra has always been the heart and soul of the franchise and her absence was deeply felt by our fiercely loyal fans who missed their Queen of the Smize,” he said in a statement obtained by Vulture. “We’d like to thank Rita Ora for being a great partner and total pro. She infused this new iteration of ANTM with passion and creativity and we wish her nothing but the best in her future endeavors.”

Yes, with Banks’s return, that means it’s a wrap for Ora. However, the entertainer wasn’t sad about the news because she has new music she’s working on:

Instagram Photo

As for Banks, this isn’t her only hosting gig. As we told you this week, she’s also taking over the reigns for Nick Cannon as host of America’s Got Talent. With that said, the mogul has a pretty full plate for 2017. Production for ANTM is set to begin in the summer, and the panel of judges, which in Season 23 included plus-size model Ashley Graham, Paper magazine’s CCO Drew Elliott and celeb stylist Law Roach, will be announced later. Fingers crossed for the return of J. Alexander (Miss J)!

And speaking of returns, Criminal Minds fans should get excited because their favorite, Shemar Moore, will return as Derek Morgan.

But don’t get too geeked up, as it’s just a temporary return for now. According to PEOPLE, Moore will come back for the Season 12 finale. In it, “Morgan brings the BAU a lead in the case against serial killer and escaped convict Mr. Scratch, who has wreaked havoc on the team all season.”

Moore departed the show in 2016 after more than 250 episodes, and at the time, didn’t really seem sure about what was to come next, but was excited about it.

“I’m excited and really nervous about the unknown,” Moore told CBS.com. “But the way I live my life is I’ll never know unless I try.”

Since then, he’s done Justice League vs. Teen Titans and his romantic comedy, The Bounce Back. You can check out Moore, and the season finale of Criminal Minds, Wednesday, May 10 at 9 p.m. ET on CBS.

 

Images via WENN 

The post Comeback Kids: Tyra Banks Returning To Host, Judge “ANTM,” Shemar Moore Heading Back To “Criminal Minds” appeared first on MadameNoire.

Alabama Woman Jumps Out Of Trunk To Avoid Kidnapping

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As sad as it is, I often think, I can’t let anything happen to me when I’m out in the street. I can’t do anything that might put me in the presence of police officers because we all know how a turn signal turned into a tragedy for Sandra Bland. I can’t get raped because who knows if law enforcement will do everything in their power to prosecute my rapist. And I certainly can’t turn up missing because Lord knows this country doesn’t consider missing Black women a priority.
A woman in Birmingham, Alabama nearly found herself in the latter situation but thankfully, her quick wit and resolve under pressure, prevented her story from ending as tragically as it could have.

Instead of ending up in the news for an entirely different reason, this Alabama woman is being recorded as the hero of her own story for escaping a kidnapper by jumping out of the trunk of a moving car.

According to ABC, the unidentified, 25-year-old woman told police that she was walking to her apartment when a man approached her with a gun, demanding money. When she told him she did not have any money, the man forced her into the trunk of a car.

Afterward, the man drove to a gas station and convenience store. Store clerks reported that the man went into the store after he couldn’t withdrawal money from the ATM.

After the man got back in the car, the woman was able to open the trunk and escape just as the vehicle was starting to pull away. She ran inside the convenience store and called 911.

The woman suffered minor injuries when she jumped out of the car. Police are still searching for the man and are circulating this image of him from the surveillance footage.’

The post Alabama Woman Jumps Out Of Trunk To Avoid Kidnapping appeared first on MadameNoire.

You Ever Belt Out Song Lyrics With Complete Confidence And Find Out You Were Dead Wrong?

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This morning I came into the office telling my co-worker about the Ratchet Zooba workout class I took last night and how they were playing one of New York City’s favorite tracks “Get Yourself a Ringtone.”

“That’s a song?” she asked.

“Yes! You know, “get yourself a ringtone, get yourself a ringtone, get yourself a ringtone.”

“Girl! Shake your tambourine?!”

“Mmmm….no?”

“Shake your tambourine, go an’ get yourself a whistlin’, those are the words she sang before pulling up the video below. I had no choice but to laugh in total and utter embarrassment at yet another song lyric I murdered.

 

Messing up lyrics is basically what I do. The first time I knew I had a problem I was in my teens singing “When Doves Cry” in the car with my mom. “Maybe I’m just too demanding,” I belted out. “Maybe I’m just like my father T-bone.”

“What did you just say?!” My mom asked with a tickle in her voice for a reason I didn’t understand.

“Maybe I’m just like my father, T-bone,” I said with the type of confidence that implied why are you questioning me?

For three days straight my mom cried tears of laughter before telling me I’m a total nut and that the actual lyrics to Prince’s classic were “too bold.” To this day, I can’t hear that song without thinking about the fact that I’d nicknamed Prince’s daddy some kind of tattoo-toting tyrant named T-bone.

The only comfort I take in my routine slip ups is the fact that I’m not alone. Just yesterday the co-worker who had to check me on the Eve lyrics this morning asked me if I knew what Kelly Rowland was singing on the chorus of Destiny’s Child’s “So Good.” Both of us came up with some nonsensical jibberish to fill the space after, “Wasn’t it you that said” to the tune of “Bad a boo.” FYI, the real words are “I thought I was all that and you.” And I can’t forget the hilarity when Jezebel exposed that J.Lo was singing “R.U.L.E.” at the beginning of “I’m Real” instead of “Are You Ellie?” as their writer thought, or “Are you early?” like my co-worker. That’s actually one lyric I got right.

But since we’re being open and honest here, tell me which lyrics you murder on a regular and when you found out what you were singing was dead wrong.

 

The post You Ever Belt Out Song Lyrics With Complete Confidence And Find Out You Were Dead Wrong? appeared first on MadameNoire.

Bob Whitfield Apologizes For Joking About Abusing Sheree

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We were horrified to hear the way Bob Whitfield joked about choking and putting his hands on his ex wife and mother of his children Sheree Whitfield. While he did show some remorse once he saw the tears she shed at his cruel humor, he felt the need to do a little bit more.
Recently, he sent an apology for not only the abuse but his reaction to her retelling it to StraightFromTheA

My Dearest Woman,

I am wrong. I made trivial the abuse of HER in front of the world. I am no monster. I allowed truth, comedy and conjecture to convey an image of myself that I would never condone. I know how emotionally charged anger can inflict damage to someone you hold dear. My mockery is shameful and no longer funny.

One instance of psychological abuse may not condemn someone to death, yet it would be no instances that makes a man wholesome; by being thoughtful in words and actions; being responsible in procedure and measures; being a protector, provider and provisioner for his family; and to show proper restraint with committing actions that lack virtue.

I laugh because it feels better than crying. However, I must cry for forgiveness.

My humility now is true to the pride that I take of holding HER to the highest esteem as mother or as wife, as confidant or as friend .

This ode is true…

Humble and Highest Regards,

Bob

As far as these type of apologies go, this one is not that bad. I don’t know if Bob blatantly accepted responsibility for abusing Sheree back in the day but that might have been in between the lines somewhere in that second paragraph, which I can’t decipher all the way. Either way, it’s a step.

What do you make of Bob’s apology?

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post Bob Whitfield Apologizes For Joking About Abusing Sheree appeared first on MadameNoire.

Tamar Celebrates Vince’s Weight Loss Following Surgery, But Admits, “I Like A Little Meat On My Man’s Bones”

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As we talked about earlier this week after Tamar Braxton and husband Vince Herbert appeared on The Wendy Williams Show, Herbert has slimmed down quite a bit. He’s lost nearly 100 pounds, going from over 300 down to 230 pounds. Not only has he changed his diet “completely,” but he’s also managed to get a better handle on his health after dealing with major medical issues due to his weight, and he’s now able to buy off of the rack. “I can go into Neiman Marcus and buy a pair of jeans,” Herbert said while sitting on Wendy’s couch.

Tamar and Vince

 

The change has been great for the 48-year-old, but how has Braxton adjusted? While she joked about being jealous that she’s considered “the thick one” in their relationship these days, she admitted while speaking to PEOPLE Now that it’s been quite a big transformation for the both of them.

“I like a little ‘thickems.’ I like the oohoo!” Braxton said, making the signature Pillsbury Doughboy noise. “I like that. I’m very happy only because he’s much healthier and I want him around forever, but, you know, I like a little meat on my man’s bones.”

As Herbert started to slim down, rumors swirled that he had surgery to help drop the pounds. A source told The Daily Mail last year that it was necessary due to consistent ups and downs with his health.

“He had gastric bypass surgery to lose weight,” the source said. “His size has caused him to have numerous health challenges.”

vince herbert weight loss

Braxton seemed to confirm such rumors when speaking to PEOPLE Now about the role she played in his weight-loss journey.

“I had to be very supportive of him, ” she said, “he had a couple of surgeries — not like really cosmetic surgeries, but like medical surgeries to help him to lose weight because he had medical problems due to the weight.”

Whatever the means to get slim and trim, Braxton enjoys seeing a happier and healthier Vince. When asked if she felt like she was in a relationship with a totally different person, Braxton could only laugh — and brag.

“I do! Lots of energy.”

Images via Shutterstock

The post Tamar Celebrates Vince’s Weight Loss Following Surgery, But Admits, “I Like A Little Meat On My Man’s Bones” appeared first on MadameNoire.

Can’t Find The Lipstick Shade You Want? Make Your Own

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Last night I was trying to decide how to be festive for St. Patty’s Day without doing too much. At 8 am there was no reason for me to be on the train in a full green ensemble, not that I even own one. But I do love a reason to color coordinate with my fellow man — and I am 11% Irish and all (shout out to Ancestry.com for that revelation), so I figured I could do a little something something and, naturally, settled on makeup.

I love a bright lip, but a bright green lip is neither something I own nor have worn before. And though I do own green eyeliner, I felt like I have too much makeup lying around to not be able to come up with my own green lip so that’s exactly what I did. And it took all of 3 seconds.

I began with my Urban Decay Ultimate Ozone Multipurpose Primer Pencil because it not only provides a smooth surface for lip color but holds it in place and prevents feathering which is uber important when wearing bright colors. You may be able to get away without a liner when wearing nudes but providing lines for your color to stay in when going for bright shades is an absolute must. And this pencil is a great option because its clear and can be worn with any tone.

 

I let the primer sit on my lips while I applied foundation and spruced up my brows for a bit, then I applied my L’Oréal Infallible Paints Lip color in Domineering Teal which comes out on your lips in the exact shade shown on the tubing.

The color is highly pigmented and has just enough shine to not be super glossy and sticky. I applied two coats to make sure my lips were fully covered and then I went over that teal shade with my L’Oréal Infallible Paints Eye Shadow In Just Blonde (the yellow end of the duo).

Yes, I know I said eye shadow but this liquid cream has the consistency of a matte liquid lipstick with the applicator wand to match so I went ahead and took the plunge. To avoid contaminating my eye shadow however, I stuck a lip brush in the yellow end of the duo stick and applied it on top of the teal lip paint which created a semi-neon ombre green shade perfect for St. Patty’s Day. And let me just say I didn’t have to reapply until 3 pm. This lip colored survived me sipping a breakfast smoothie through a straw, a lunch workout, drinking 33.8 ounces of water from a bottle, and lunch.

So next time you’re struggling to find just the right shade of red, brown, purple, yellow, or green, look through your own makeup arsenal and get creative. Just make sure you keep things sanitary, using a lip brush to blend any glosses or lip paints separate from their original packaging and sticking with products that have a similar consistency. Using powder eyeshadow on top of a creamy lipstick is probably not going to workout for your lips, but in a pinch, a cream shadow can work wonders. For traditional lipstick tubes, you can apply your darker base tone first and then use a lip brush to apply the lighter shade you’re mixing it with on top. You can even do this to create different lip looks like I did below when I took a nude gloss shade down the center of my lips on top of a deeper matte tone for a tribal look.

Instagram Photo

Happy mixing!

The post Can’t Find The Lipstick Shade You Want? Make Your Own appeared first on MadameNoire.

Black Women Respond To Football Player’s Notion That “Black Women Are Not Coachable”

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There are so many messages that are anti-Black women that it's best to just start ignoring 99 percent of them. But every once in a while, we stumble across something so outlandish that it cannot be disregarded. That's what happened with Trick Daddy, with that post from Tyrese we wrote about earlier today and even a bit of relationship advice from alleged football player Maserati Rick. Redskins player Lyndon Antonio Trail asked his followers "Why do Black athletes marry White women?" and as you can imagine, the response was poppin'. But none of that stood out like Maserati Rick's. He wrote an entire dissertation about the subject The last line, "Black women are not coachable" echoed throughout the digital walls of the world wide web, at least in the corner owned by America.

The post Black Women Respond To Football Player’s Notion That “Black Women Are Not Coachable” appeared first on MadameNoire.


“She Kept Referring To My Edges As Afro Bits:” Black Models Get Real On What They Go Through In The Industry

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It’s not news to any woman of color that the fashion industry was not made for us and rarely only checks for women of color when trying to get credit for being diverse. And though Black models have begun routinely calling out the discrimination they face from the casting process to the makeup chair, never have they spoken as candidly as they did in a recent interview with Nana Agyemang for Elle magazine.

After a disappointing experience modeling for a national morning television show in which the makeup artist “had no color in her makeup set to match me and used foundation way lighter than my complexion,” Agyemang decided to talk to eight women who go through what she went through on a daily basis working in the industry. Just a heads up, making Black women’s skin look ashy is just the tip of the iceberg. Here are a few disturbing accounts.

Kamie Crawford, 24, JAG Models

Instagram Photo

I once had a job where the client was so nice, the shoot was long and the rate wasn’t amazing, but I wanted to do it regardless. I got there and the hairstylist was Australian. She went in to do my hair and she kept referring to my hair as an afro and my hair was straight this day. She was like “OMG this afro!” and I was like, what the hell are you talking about and she kept referring to my edges as afro bits. In a negative way.

[She said] ‘Omg your afro bits I just can’t get them.’ It was taking so long to do my hair, the client asked what’s going on, we are not on schedule, and she said her afro bits are too difficult for me to do them, I am trying to get them straight. Basically she was blaming it on me and making it seem like my hair and I were the problem but it wasn’t me. My hair was straight but she just didn’t know how to do it. Of course, it’s offensive but I can’t cuss her out and do my job at the same time. These microaggressions add up being a woman of color and others models who aren’t of women of color don’t have to face it.

Ashley Chew, 25, retired

Instagram Photo

“My issue is because I am fair toned I shouldn’t be the darkest thing in the room, if I look around and see that I am the darkest person in the room with ethnic hair then there is a problem. Even in the black hair care casting white directors will ask for a black girl then I show up and they’re like, ‘No, we want a black girl,’ and that’s happened plenty of times. It’s almost like being too light for the black castings and being too dark for regular casting.”

Tatiana Elizabeth, 22, MSA models

Instagram Photo

“I remember one time getting my full face of makeup done and I look in the mirror and it’s a completely wrong shade and I am like, What the heck, you’re a makeup artist I don’t understand how you don’t understand how to do all types of skin tones not just one. I have had multiple experiences where I am like this is not how I am supposed to look. Sometimes they’ll use lighter shades or darker shades. I think [some makeup artists] just don’t understand how to do it, so they try to compromise and try to mix and match and make things instead of just having the correct shades because they’re available, but they just don’t have them.

“At this point, I don’t even say anything anymore, I’ll just go into the bathroom and fix it myself. I’ll come out and they’ll say ‘OMG you look amazing’ and I am like ‘yeah because I did it myself.’ It is annoying that I have to go through that and at first I was scared to make those adjustments but at the end of the day I am my own brand and I don’t want to put work out there, whether it’s with a client or for myself, because it’s me, my image—it’s not the makeup artist it’s not anyone, it’s me so I need to make sure that it’s on point.”

Check out the other interviews on Elle.com.

The post “She Kept Referring To My Edges As Afro Bits:” Black Models Get Real On What They Go Through In The Industry appeared first on MadameNoire.

Check Out The Best Athleisure Looks From Jourdan Dunn’s Line With Missguided (Psst, They’re On Sale)

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On March 11, British supermodel Jourdan Dunn launched her collaboration with popular retailer Missguided, and it's a pretty awesome athleisure line full of satins, faux fur and velour. Called Londunn, which she reportedly came up with via the help of her 7-year-old son, Riley, the clothing line has pieces great for after the gym, when you're set to meet up with the girls or your man for brunch. "I chose ath-leisure because I want women to feel sexy and comfortable at the same time," Dunn said. Items feature open backs, high slits and mesh for a peek-a-boo detail. Londunn is available on Missguided's site, and we're showing off 10 of our favorite pieces in the collection. You're lucky, because each one is currently on sale for 60 percent off. Get yourself a deal and a cute ensemble:

Jourdan Dunn missguided

Satin Duster Jacket $120

Jourdan Dunn Missguided

Black Mesh Sleeve Hem Scuba Hoodie $60

Grey Wide Sleeve Logo Bodysuit $60

Grey Fleeceback Raw Hem Midi Skirt $60

Black Open Back High Neck Top $60

Black Mesh Hoodie $76

Pink Cowl Neck Hooded Sweater Dress $76

Black Loopback Bardot Top $56

Navy Faux Fur Hooded Jacket $140

Oversized Logo Sleeve Sweater Dress $64

The post Check Out The Best Athleisure Looks From Jourdan Dunn’s Line With Missguided (Psst, They’re On Sale) appeared first on MadameNoire.

Would You Tell Your Child If They Were An “Oops Baby”?

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oops baby

If for some reason you’re unfamiliar with the term “oops baby” it’s an ill-mannered way of referring to an unplanned pregnancy…and I’ve always hated the term. Creating a life isn’t like dropping your phone on the floor or bumping into a stranger on the train. Just because a pregnancy is unplanned doesn’t mean it isn’t a big deal, but whether you like referring to your child as a Britney Spears’ lyric or just being honest about the fact that motherhood wasn’t the goal that night, does it really matter in the grand scheme of parenting whether you were planning a pregnancy or not? Furthermore, when your child inevitably comes to you with the, “How did I get here question?” What will you say?

I remember feeling a small sense of pride when my mother told me that she and my father specifically wanted to give my older sister a sibling so she didn’t have to face the world alone. “We felt like if anything ever happened to us, at least you both had each other,” my mom explained to me sometime around adolescence. I must admit having a sibling has come in handy when it comes  to Christmas, birthdays and sending our parents away on vacation. If one sibling forgets the other just signs their name to the gift or card. But as much as I liked having a sibling, on some level it just felt reassuring to know that my parents were more, “Yayy!” then “WTF?” when they saw that pink plus sign and that the most they argued about was paint colors for the nursery and what topping to get on their pizza and not how the hell did this happen. But are all pregnancies that are unplanned unwanted and furthermore should you tell your child when they get older that they weren’t necessarily part of the plan?

It is estimated that approximately fifty percent of all pregnancies in the United States are unplanned and my own pregnancy was a part of that fifty percent. I was planning a wedding, not a pregnancy but I know that if I had waited until things were planned and perfectly scheduled, I’d mess around and be 52 and trying to get pregnant. When my mom was a thirty-something in the 80’s she had a stable career, a mortgage and a husband. She was nailing adulthood by today’s standards. For my generation of older millennials, is taking a little longer to get started. Two years ago I wasn’t exactly failing at adulthood. I had a job that I had grown in for about five years, was newly engaged and had managed to get a lot of living under my belt thus far. I had traveled, partied and accomplished many of the things a textbook twenty something should do, but that didn’t mean I felt ready to be someone’s mom. What I’ve learned since then is whether you find yourself casually getting it in with your ex one night and the condom breaks or you have been picking out nursery themes since you first started ovulating I don’t think many woman are ever really “ready for motherhood”. It’s one of those things you get better at once you’re on the job. Was my daughter unplanned? Sho nuff’. Was she unwanted? Honestly that was something I spent a good part of my pregnancy processing. And I don’t feel the least bit guilty about that. Motherhood is not something that necessarily looks or feels great at first; the role can be something you have to “break in” gradually.

But sometimes unplanned pregnancy is more than an oops and more like resentment. In a SheKnows article last year, author Stephanie Land shared her story of what growing up as an “oops baby” felt like. She revealed a story of her mother sitting in an abortion clinic’s parking lot early in the pregnancy weighing her decision and the resentment that grew between her mother and father during her childhood:

“My parents did their best. I grew up oblivious to their dislike for each other.”

“She talked a lot about how she’d wanted to be a flight attendant, and travel the world. Though I never singled myself out as the cause, I knew ‘we’ collectively — my brother, Dad and I — made her unhappy. We were not the life she wanted.”

What Land says hurts so much about the story is not much that her mother didn’t embrace motherhood with open arms, but more so that she revealed the truth to her in the first place.

As transparent and real as I’d like to be with my daughter I also feel like one of my first priorities as a parent is to preserve our childhood. Our children have enough stress, pain and awkward encounters to look forward from adolescence throughout adulthood. They’re not our therapists. They’re not our sound boards. When we choose to have them we choose to sacrifice the right to broadcast our struggles and sometimes that means suffering silently if it means preserving our children’s peace of mind. The honest truth is that not every mother clocks in for the job with energy and enthusiasm. Even the Claire Huxtables of the world have a bit of resentment sometimes. I believe mourning what could have been is a normal part of motherhood but so is embracing what you and your children will become. And honestly sometimes that’s better than what you could have ever imagined.

I think the hardest transition when it comes to new motherhood is making peace with the idea that your life will never quite be the same as it was. That doesn’t mean you don’t want a child but it may mean you don’t want your life to change and that’s OK. Those feelings don’t automatically make you Mommie Dearest.  It’s important to me for my daughter to know that before I was her mother I was a woman with flaws, thoughts and feelings, so that when she grows up she has a realistic view of how life, love and relationships work.  I don’t want her to be held prisoner by traditional timelines of first come love, then comes marriage. I want her to know you can have a good life and enjoy being a mom even if things don’t go according to plan. And most importantly, I want her to know that empire waist wedding dresses can look amazing even if a small person is sitting on your spleen while you say your vows.

Images via Bigstock

Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a  passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

The post Would You Tell Your Child If They Were An “Oops Baby”? appeared first on MadameNoire.

Sex Drive Missing? It Just Might Be In a Different Area Code

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hotel sex

Maybe you’re like me and anytime you think about sex your toddler decides its tantrum time and your lady bits instantly put on the “away message”. Maybe you’ve been striking out and linking up with dudes who couldn’t find your G-spot if it was twerking on a handstand with a large pizza. Or just maybe the Trey Songz mixtapes and Hennessy Black has ceased to get you in the mood. Well a recent study has revealed that getting your sexy back may only be a room reservation way.

Psychologist Amy Muise revealed in a recent HuffPost Women piece that there’s a reason why mints on the pillow and room service may be the cure for your missing libido. In fact she said there’s scientific evidence why hotel sex is better sex:

“Vacations can provide opportunities for couples to self-expand ― engage in novel, exciting activities… This can promote sexual desire, sexual activity and sexual and relationship satisfaction.”

A professor in the Department of Psychology at York University in Canada, much of Muise’s work is dedicated to helping couples lead more fulfilling sex lives and exploring why some couples are missing the mark when it comes to romance. She said hotel room sex tends to be better than your normal bedroom routine because of a concept known as “self-expansion”.

“…it’s more than just having a good time.  It’s about doing things that are novel, exciting, arousing, challenging and broaden your perspective of your partner or the world.”

“Often it is about doing things outside the bedroom that enhance desire and closeness ― which tends to lead to a greater likelihood of (and better) sex.”

Because how often are you really going to be able to put it on your man on a cruise ship sailing the blackness of the Atlantic Ocean in the middle of the night? There’s a reason Stella was getting those frequent flyer miles and it wasn’t just because of Taye Diggs’ six pack. It’s because becoming a braided beach goddess frolicking the Jamaican sands was a departure from her daily routine which is as arousing as it is adventurous.

As someone who regularly goes through travel withdrawal, I can attest to the fact that a passport and a plane ticket is the way to my heart (and other parts of my anatomy).  I like to call it “music video sex”. Getting away from familiar surroundings may encourage you to pull out all of the stops like rose petals in the tub or getting your back blown on the balcony. Seriously, you might not have the courage to do that kind of thing in your own backyard without fearing the neighborhood block captain may catch you mid O-face. Another advantage to hotel rooms are that they allow you to be catered to as a couple. No one has to put the time into going to the farmer’s market for fresh strawberries or sweating over glazed salmon when you can just order room service.

But what about if the way your account is set up, getting your freak on in different area codes isn’t an option? Muise says simply changing your mind state can lead to hotter sex and studies show that when women are in a better mood they’re more likely to get “in the mood”. Ian Kerner, a licensed psychotherapist, sex counselor agrees:

“For sexual arousal to occur, especially in women, parts of the brain associated with anxiety and stress need to turn off.”

You don’t necessarily need to make love on the shores of the Maldive Islands to be sexually satisfied, sometimes it can be just as simple as taking a few days off from work or dropping the kids off at Grandma’s for the weekend.

Who knew that you don’t need a Boris Kodjoe bae to get your sex drive back. All you actually need is an Airbnb account.

Where’s the most exotic place you’ve gotten your bae-cation on?

Images via Bigstock

Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a  passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

 

The post Sex Drive Missing? It Just Might Be In a Different Area Code appeared first on MadameNoire.

King Kong Ain’t Got Nothing on Me: Study Proves the Myth of the ‘Big Angry Black Man’ Prevails

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angry black man

I’m quick to say that some stereotypes are true and when it comes to my partner the big, angry black man stereotype just may apply. I can’t say I exactly blame him for the frustration his broad shouldered, light-skinned behind faces the world with each day. He’s had experiences in the past where he’s walked into work leading an all-black crew while being employed by the city and been greeted by a noose in a department that employs mostly white men. He’s witnessed friends die from gun violence while growing up in a rough section of Southwest Philly. He’s lived next door to crack houses and seen fiends fighting and overdosing on the porch next door. But despite all that he’s grown up to be a professional, a father, a husband and a son that makes himself readily available to the needs of his family and friends. Still in a world that thinks black boys like Tamir Rice are the world’s biggest threat, it’s understandable that he goes through each day with his defenses up and a temper that like Drake said can go “0 – 100 real quick”.

He is just one of the many black men I know on a personal level from my own father, to colleagues, to friends. They’re retired veterans, teachers, mentors, athletes, singers, songwriters and convicted felons but they aren’t all running around being big, black and angry.

However a recent study just revealed that no matter how many Barack Obamas and Al Rokers our society may be exposed to, black men are for the most part perceived through a singular lens by their white counterparts. The Washington Post recently highlighted a study published on Monday in the American Psychological Association’s Journal of Personality and Social Psychology which ultimately explored the perceptions of male’s bodies based on race. John Paul Wilson, author of the survey and his colleagues at the Miami University of Ohio and the University of Toronto conducted seven experiments, asking 950 online participants to gauge the physical and threatening characteristics of men, based on male faces and bodies. The overwhelming conclusion? Even if white and black men share the same height and weight, people tend to perceive black men as taller, more muscular and heavier. Furthermore, non-black participants believed black men to be more capable of physical harm than white men of the same size. The survey also found non-black observers believed that police would be more justified to use force on these black men, even if they were unarmed, than white male counterparts. Because of course white men were absent the day that God was giving out that “King Kong gene” that makes men stronger, go harder, act more violent and possess an increased penis size.

“Participants also believed that the black men were more capable of causing harm in a hypothetical altercation and, troublingly, that police would be more justified in using force to subdue them, even if the men were unarmed.”

“Our research suggests that these descriptions may reflect stereotypes of black males that do not seem to comport with reality.”

In other words whether you’re raising Michael Blackson or Mike Tyson, there are many folks who still believe if he were placed in a room with Rocky Balboa, not only would he dominate any physical altercation, but the police would be justified in subduing him by force all because he’s black.

What’s even more interesting is that even when the survey included both black and non-black participants, both black and white participants equally overestimated the strength of black men, but only non-black observers considered the black men to be more dangerous.

What saddens me is that as a woman married to a black man, with recent police violence and the bias that seems to be evidenced by this study, I carry a subconscious worry every day that whether my spouse is pulled over for a traffic violation or he’s walking to his car in a dark parking lot, there is probably some bystander who feels that he should be feared. It’s a conversation that too many black mothers have found themselves having with their sons for the past few years:

“Make sure your insurance and registration are straight. Don’t make any sudden moves around the police. Don’t wear that hoodie. Don’t wear your hair in dreads….and maybe just maybe you won’t end up dead or in jail.”

Whether we like to acknowledge it or not, America is a country built on racism. We live in a land where African-Americans were once viewed as property. From that, stigma and stereotypes have grown where the black man has become likened more to a savage beast than a human being and while strength, confidence and physical ability or great things to possess, my feeling is that most black men want be respected more than feared. They want the world to know they are capable of more than dunking a ball, spitting some bars or being arrested. But since I am not a black man in America, I’ve decided to ask my husband about his thoughts about the image of the black men in America:

“What’s crazy to me is how people don’t take ownership of how much their assumptions play a part in situations. Most days I’m just out here working and trying to feed my family. I’m usually talking to a customer scheduling a day when I can fix their clogged train. I might stop at the store on the way home because we need milk and I may do that wearing a hoodie because it’s cold. You treat me with respect and I’ll treat you with respect. You come at me with aggression and I’ll probably react the same way. My point is we’re all not out here trying to shoot and fight. Trayvon just wanted some Skittles. Mike Brown was walking down the block. And no matter how ‘big, black and angry’ I may appear more than likely I’m just out here living my life, just like anyone else.”

Images via Bigstock

Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a  passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

The post King Kong Ain’t Got Nothing on Me: Study Proves the Myth of the ‘Big Angry Black Man’ Prevails appeared first on MadameNoire.

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