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EU Court Rules Banning Headscarves In The Workplace Is Not “Direct Discrimination”

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“An internal rule of an undertaking which prohibits the visible wearing of any political, philosophical, or religious sign does not constitute direct discrimination,” so says the European Union court in a ruling today that makes the banning of headscarves, or hijabs, legal in the workplace.

The caveat is that the banning of such items must be based on an already established company rule that all employees must “dress neutrally,” so as to show the rule is not a direct attempt to treat individuals differently based on religious beliefs. However, as the court notes in its ruling,  it is not “inconceivable that the national court might conclude that the internal rule introduces a difference of treatment that is indirectly based on religion or belief, should it be established that the apparently neutral obligation it encompasses results, in fact, in persons adhering to a particular religion or belief being put at a particular disadvantage.” Even still, the court adds, “such a difference of treatment would not amount to indirect discrimination if it was justified by a legitimate aim and if the means of achieving that aim were appropriate and necessary.”

The ruling came as a result of the case of Samira Achbita, a Muslim who was employed as a receptionist by private company G4S in 2003. In April 2006 she informed her employer she would be wearing a headscarf to work and “In response, the management of G4S informed her that the wearing of the headscarf would not be tolerated because the visible wearing of political, philosophical or religious signs was contrary to the position of neutrality G4S adopted in its contacts with its customers.”

In May 2006, the G4S works council approved an amendment to the workplace regulations which stated “employees are prohibited, in the workplace, from wearing any visible signs of their political, philosophical or religious beliefs and/or from engaging in any observance of such beliefs.” The ammendent, which was previously an “unwritten rule,” the BBC said, began being enforced June 13, the day after Achbita was dismissed for continuing to wear the headscarf at work and she challenged the dismissal in court to no avail today’s ruling shows.

There was one minor win, however. In the absence of an explicit internal company rule, such a policy cannot be put in place based on a customer’s wishes, the EU explained, writing “the willingness of an employer to take account of the wishes of a customer no longer to have the employer’s services provided by a worker wearing an Islamic headscarf cannot be considered an occupational requirement that could rule out discrimination.” That decision was in reference to Asma Bougnaoui, a design engineer who was fired from French firm Micropole after a customer complained about her wearing an Islamic headscarf.

The court confirmed to the BBC that this ruling also applies to other religious signs such as “crucifixes, skullcaps and turbans.”

In a news release, John Dalhuisen, director of Amnesty International’s Europe and Central Asia programme called the ruling “disappointing” and said it gave “greater leeway to employers to discriminate against women – and men – on the grounds of religious belief.”

“The court did say that employers are not at liberty to pander to the prejudices of their clients. But by ruling that company policies can prohibit religious symbols on the grounds of neutrality, they have opened a backdoor to precisely such prejudice.”

The post EU Court Rules Banning Headscarves In The Workplace Is Not “Direct Discrimination” appeared first on MadameNoire.


10 Little-Known Facts The Love Jones Cast Revealed About The Film For Its 20th Anniversary

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On this day 20 years ago, Love Jones was released in theaters. And while it didn't necessarily make a big splash at the box office (it pulled in just over $12 million worldwide), it has since become a cult film of sorts, a classic Black love story that people still watch religiously (I check it out both on BET anytime it comes on and via the DVD copy I own). We shared some of the behind-the-scenes secrets a few years ago, and the film was just celebrated at the American Black Film Festival Honors. Love Jones 20th anniversary In honor of the 20th anniversary, Los Angeles Times writer Trevell Anderson talked to the cast and those behind the film, including writer/director Theodore Witcher and producers, for a piece called "With 'Love Jones,' black love took center stage: An oral history." They talked about what it took to get the film made and what it means to the culture two decades later. Here are some very interesting things you probably didn't know that they shared about Love Jones.  via GIPHY

It All Started With a Popular Poetry Club

According to Witcher, a popular poetry club many burgeoning artists used to visit in Chicago in the early '90s inspired him to develop Darius and Nina's love story.
There was this one [poetry] club in Chicago that we all used to go to, called Spices. I thought that was an interesting backdrop onto which I could layer this story of a twentysomething’s relationship. It had never occurred to me that the movie would get made, quite frankly, because it just seemed so small and niche, even for black people. It just seemed so outside of what Hollywood was making at the time. It was just this idea I had until I came upon an executive who was at New Line, Helena Echegoyen. With her encouragement, I sat down in my little apartment in Koreatown, with no lights and no windows that pointed outside, for about nine months and wrote this script. When I gave it to her, she saw the potential of it and was, like, "We're getting this made."
via GIPHY

Jada Pinkett Smith Was the Original Pick for Nina

As Witcher put it, he was impressed by Jada Pinkett for the lead female role. "Believe it or not, I had Jada Pinkett [Smith] in mind," he told the Times. "I had seen her on 'A Different World' and thought she had a very different sensibility from other black actresses of her generation. I tried to get her and she passed." via GIPHY

Nia Long and Larenz Tate's Chemistry Was Immediate

When the two were brought in to test, it was agreed by all that Long and Tate had a connection. "Sometimes when you meet people there's no connection, but she and I connected immediately," Tate stated. "She was just willing to do what it takes for us to find that gem, those dynamics." Long agreed that they had a pretty electric energy. "I honestly felt like our chemistry was the best," she said. "It felt amazing and it felt right, and we looked good together and it looked believable." via GIPHY

Isaiah Washington Was Asked to Cut His Locs

Per the usual, a non-Black producer tried to come in and throw his weight around. One issue for the person was Isaiah Washington's locs at the time, which he was asked to cut his very first day on the film's set. Washington played Savon Garrison in the film:
I remember one of the producers walked into my trailer with clippers in his hand demanding that I shave my head because he wasn't aware of any teacher that would look like me, with a goatee and locs and wearing a field jacket. This was my first day on set. My reason for doing this character looking this way is because we had a huge problem with African American hair in the workplace and, unfortunately, 20 years later we still have people losing their jobs because of locs. Now, I don't think the producer was being racist or biased. I think he was trying to protect the money that was given to us by a system that didn't care what we thought or how we felt about empowering ourselves. I don't hold a grudge to that producer, but I do recall saying, "I'm not making that change, so you can send me back to L.A. if you want to, but right now I need to be on the set to shoot this scene in five minutes." There was really no debate or battle because money was being lost and a decision had to be made on his part and obviously it was the right one to be made.
via GIPHY

Nia Long Wore Garbage Bags for That Rain Scene

In the final scene, after delivering her poem for Darius, who she didn't believe was in the poetry club at the time, Nina leaves, only to encounter him outside. They have a very romantic, albeit wet, moment in the rain, ending the film. Of course, that shot, with the increase in water used, was a bit much for Long. "Do you know what I had underneath my wardrobe? It was cold, but then it started to rain so they added more rain for the scene, and I wrapped my body in garbage bags to stay dry," she said. "We knew that it was going to be a quick scene and we didn't want to have to go back and change clothes or be sopping, soaking wet, so that's what we did." via GIPHY

Witcher Is Still Bothered by Women Who Said Nina Getting Her Hair Wet for Darius Was Unrealistic

"I was really upset at that," he told The Times. "Really upset. Really. Just thinking about it, I remember getting those cards back and reading comment after comment after comment about the hair and I was, like, 'The ... hair? Are you kidding me? Really? Her hair?' Apparently, 'Yes. Really, ...yes, her hair. Get it right. Yes.'" via GIPHY

Larenz Tate Felt the Film Wasn't Marketed Well

At the time, it was considered a "flop," but most of the people involved with the movie managed to look at the bright side when it came to the financial ups and downs of the film. However, Tate said that he felt that if the studio had marketed it better, Love Jones would have definitely brought in more money. "We were at a time with movies like 'Boyz N the Hood,' 'Menace II Society,' 'Set It Off,' right? They know how to market those movies," he said. "What about a movie in which no one gets hurt? The only thing that gets hurt is someone's heart. I'm going to keep it real — I felt like the studio did not know how to market the movie." via GIPHY

Lauryn Hill Was Almost in the Movie

According to Witcher, when the singer, who was still in The Fugees at the time, couldn't get out of her set schedule to have a role in the film, she was more than down to provide a song. The end result? "The Sweetest Thing," which was just the beginning of the star-studded Love Jones soundtrack. "I almost had Lauryn [Hill] in the movie," Witcher said. "The Fugees were on tour and I went to go meet her, but their touring schedule prevented her from being in Chicago to shoot. Obviously, I liked her and I kept her in mind. Then, I said, 'I want a Lauryn Hill solo track.' We sent her the movie and they watched it on the bus. She sent back 'The Sweetest Thing.' One by one, the tracks started coming in." via GIPHY

The Soundtrack Brought the Film Back to Theaters

It sold so well (that it has its own Wikipedia page) it eventually peaked at 16 on the Billboard 200 and No. 3 on the Billboard R&B/Hip-Hop albums chart. It also did good enough to warrant the studio to give the film another shot. "The movie was taken out of the theaters, and because the soundtrack was received so well, they reopened the film because the people were demanding to see this movie," Isaiah Washington said. via GIPHY

They Didn't Anticipate the Impact, But Knew It Would Shift the Culture

Producer Helena Echegoyen put it best. At the time Love Jones came out, a few other films that told deeper, more complex stories about Black culture and love were also coming out or preparing to be released. The film, along with those others, had an impact on the type of images we would get to see of Black folks.
It was a time in black culture where there was a paradigm shift. Hip-hop was growing and becoming more mainstream, and the black middle class was emerging and there were more conversations being had about black culture as art, not just as commerce. All of these things were happening and then this movie kind of comes out. And it wasn't the only one — "Eve's Bayou" and "Waiting to Exhale" and "Soul Food" and "Gridlock’d." There were a lot of films at that time that were shifting the culture. I think that that is what you remember, and when you remember that, it's almost like it takes on a different life. It's not a film anymore, it's a symbol.
  Images via Giphy and WENN

The post 10 Little-Known Facts The Love Jones Cast Revealed About The Film For Its 20th Anniversary appeared first on MadameNoire.

This Is The Only Face Oil You’ll Need On Vacation

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When I go on vacation I usually like to keep my skincare and makeup routine light. That typically means I’m packing some sort of face oil to give my skin a nice glow before I hit the beach. And because all I have to do is think about the sun to tan, that oil is usually the only thing I can put on my face at night along with a few swipes of mascara and a brow once my foundation no longer matches my bronzed skin. But just because I’m on vacation doesn’t mean I want to use just any old oil, in fact I want to use a product that’s in tune with the beautiful nature around me, which is why I fell in love with Africa Miranda’s Facial Elixir.

We know you know Africa from “The New Atlanta,” Creme of Nature hair ads, (and a few MadameNoire videos) but I want to introduce you to the beautypreneur behind beauty by Africa Miranda and this new product known as “Brazil in a bottle.”

I’ll be honest, I had a very old Black mama moment when I first purchased the elixir because I knew it was a luxury buy and I didn’t want to “use up my good stuff too soon.” Africa immediately corrected my old school thinking and reminded me women should be able to have nice things every day, which is exactly the experience you get using the facial elixir.

Inspired by the influencer’s travels to Brazil, the elixir contains Maracuja Oil, which is cold-pressed from the maracuja fruit and is naturally rich in vitamin C and fatty acids, as well as Cupuacu Butter, another indigenous ingredient. Both help replenish, hydrate, seal in moisture, and illuminate the skin’s natural glow and you only need a few drops for the oil to work it’s magic, i.e. a little goes a long way which means one bottle will last you a while.

What I love most about the elixir is its texture; it moisturizes and seals without feeling heavy or greasy on my face. It’s also softly aromatic and, truthfully, just feels luxurious, like you’re in a spa applying it as opposed to your bathroom. It also has other multitasking properties outside of its ability to hydrate and even calm excess sebum production on oily skin. The elixir can be used to gently remove makeup at the end of the night and you can mix the oil with a few drops of foundation for a natural, light dewy glow, which you’ll know I’ll be doing on my next trip.

“I have taken note of the beauty secrets of women around the world that keep them looking vibrant and healthy, Africa shared, adding, “I strongly believe women desire and deserve quality products at accessible prices. With much pride I present my very first skin care treatment.”

And I’m so glad she did. Check out the promo for the elixir below. To try it out for yourself, click here.

The post This Is The Only Face Oil You’ll Need On Vacation appeared first on MadameNoire.

Tamar And Vince Talk “The Real,” Weight Loss & Their Marriage

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Vince and Tamar have had quite the year. With her termination from “The Real” and rumors of domestic issues between the two and Tamar addressing an alleged love child, their names have been in the news a time or two. The couple stopped by “The Wendy Williams Show” and kept things light and easy, discussing Vince’s weight loss, the rumors and what she would say to the women of “The Real.”
Vince’s Weight Loss

90 something pounds.

Are you used to your new body?

I’m getting there.

Tamar: I’m a hater because it’s not fair. I work out everyday and I’m like the thick one these days. He’s turned into like the male Kim Kardashian. He takes selfies all day. And every mirror he stops by, she’s like “yes!”
Vince: I feel great. I’m not taking 13 pills anymore. I changed my diet completely.

 

Are you eating meat?

A lot less because of your husband.

…Nobody told me I was that big. And when I realized that I was 315 something pounds and now I’m 230 pounds. And I can go into Neimen Marcus and buy a pair of jeans…

As you see that they’re still married? Every other month you all are divorcing, someone’s fighting. What’s good?

Tamar: Everything is good.

Vince: We are.

Tamar: And God is good. Let me tell you something, we’ve been through a lot in this past year but it did nothing but bring our relationship closer. I’m not even going to sit here and act like we don’t argue, we don’t fight. We work together, it’s a lot of things to disagree about. But I think we’ve come to the point where we know that this is where we are supposed to be.

What about the love child?

There is a woman who said that she had sex with Vince the night before Vince and Tamar got married. And she got pregnant and Vince was giving her hush money for years and all of a sudden stopped the hush money and now she’s not hushing.

Tamar: I felt like my character was tried, as if if Vince had a love child, I would be the type of woman who would just accept him and not his child. Well then that’s not love because you just can’t love part of a person. You have to love the whole person and everything that comes with that person. That’s that.

Let me tell you something Wendy, first of all, I have infertility issues. I would love to have a bunch of kids. It would be a blessing for me–I mean, not the way it happened. But if it happened. I’d still punch him in the face…

Do you talk to the girls from “The Real,” it’s been a year.
I saw Tia yesterday at the airport.

What do you say?

I said hi!

Did you flip your hair?

No! Well Tia. It was Tia who I saw. That’s not shade. Come on. I ain’t the shadiest person on the planet. I saw her sister. I ain’t plan it.

What do you say when you see Adrienne?
I haven’t seen Adrienne.

If you do?

God is good. Hallelujah. Won’t He do it.

What about Loni?

Anybody! The only person I’m beefing with is the devil. That’s it. I am not beefing with anybody in my life.

Big sister Toni

Is Toni dating Birdman?

I had to wet my whistle when you asked me about Toni and Birdman. I ‘ve been knowing him for a long time. But she’s never actually admitted to me that they was together. She was like, ‘Oh no, we’re friends who occasionally go out together.’ He did come to dinner– you’ll see this on “Braxtons.” The whole was there and he had his shirt all the way down here open, like he was going on a date. He looked like Eddie Levert. But that’s ok. But they look like they was on a date though. I ain’t never seen them kiss. I kind want to see them kiss, if they’re together.

Her mom and dad

Your mom and dad were married for..?

35 years

And have a beautiful family of all those children and now your dad though has moved on with his life and has a new wife. And it’s hard for everybody to everybody to accept.

Yes. Well only because of– Ooo I’m not trying to be disrespectful– but of how they got together. I’m not gon call her no sidechick but I’ll say girlfriend on the side. [They’ve been divorced] for 16-17 years. All I know is that they were together since I was 11. Him and his new wife.

So there might be an overlappation in the situation?

That is what I’m trying to say. It’s not that he got remarried. It’s how it came about and that’s our mom.

Is mom dating?

No! And I’m upset about that. I’ve been looking for a stepdaddy for about ten years, like where is your man momma?!

The post Tamar And Vince Talk “The Real,” Weight Loss & Their Marriage appeared first on MadameNoire.

10 Black Male British Actors Taking All Of The Acting Jobs — And For Good Reason

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Samuel Jackson started a very interesting conversation when he brought up the idea that there have been a wave of British Black male actors who've come to the States and taken some major roles. In particular, they've played pretty prominent African-American characters. From playing Dr. King to Solomon Northup, it's been brothers from across the pond who've had people talking over the last few years. Jordan Peele Daniel Kaluuya PF Of course, they're not alone (think of Benedict Cumberbatch, Dominic West, Hugh Laurie, Emily Blunt, Thandie Newton, Kate Winslet, Tilda Newton and plenty of other Brits who've played Americans more often than not these days). But considering a lot of young African-American male actors aren't getting some of these major roles, and many could use them, there has been a lot of talk of a "British invasion" in terms of Black male thespians these days. I can't say whether or not this is all fair or not, but here are 10 such actors, aside from Get Out's Daniel Kaluuya, who are taking all of the acting jobs -- and for good reason. These men, the children of Caribbean, Nigerian and Ghanaian immigrants, are quite talented. Chiwetel Ejiofor

Chiwetel Ejiofor

From playing Solomon Northup in 12 Years a Slave and earning an Academy Award nomination to playing Huey Lucas in American Gangster and Dewey Hughes in Talk to Me, Ejiofor has picked up a lot of major roles as American characters since he started appearing in film and television in 1996. David Oyelowo

David Oyelowo

Oyelowo has played an American in quite a few major films (think Lee Daniels' The Butler, Red Tails, A Most Violent Year and the HBO movie Nightingale), but the role that earned him the most acclaim was playing Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in Selma.  Idris Elba

Idris Elba

Elba rocketed to fame playing Stringer Bell on The Wire, and for the most part, had a pretty convincing Baltimore accent. Since then, he's pretty much blown up, going back and forth from playing American characters to British ones. Alfred Enoch

Alfred Enoch

After years of playing Dean Thomas in Harry Potter films, quite a few folks forgot Alfred Enoch was British when he nabbed a starring role as Wes Gibbins in How to Get Away with Murder (and the guy was good!). John Boyega

John Boyega

You know you've made it when you're a star (not a supporting player) in a Star Wars film. John Boyega of Star Wars: The Force Awakens and sequel The Last Jedi has played American in films like Imperial Dreams, and is set to do it again as a star in the upcoming film The Circle with Tom Hanks. Lennie James

Lennie James

One word: Morgan. In case you don't watch, Lennie James has been pretty amazing as character Morgan Jones on The Walking Dead. He was also James Brown's father in Get on Up and Joe Geddes on the short-lived AMC drama Low Winter Sun. Adewale A A

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

You know his face, as he blew up after playing Simon Adebisi on Oz. The handsome actor and former model has also had the chance to play American characters for years, including most recently Dave Duerson in Concussion, and of course, Majestic in Get Rich or Die Tryin'.

David Harewood

David Harewood

Harewood is currently playing an American character as Hank Henshaw on Supergirl, and has done so as David Estes, director of the CIA's counterterrorism center on Homeland (when the show was still really good). Eamonn Walker

Eamonn Walker

Walker grew to fame playing American character (and prisoner) Kareem Said, and he's played plenty of prominent characters from the U.S. since. That includes his current role as batallion chief Wallace Boden on the hit show Chicago Fire.  David Gyasi

David Gyasi

You may not know his name yet, but Gyasi has nabbed quite a few roles in major films over the years, including Red Tails and Interstellar. In both big films, he played American characters.   Images via Splash and WENN

The post 10 Black Male British Actors Taking All Of The Acting Jobs — And For Good Reason appeared first on MadameNoire.

What Nobody Tells You About Caring For An Elderly Parent

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[caption id="attachment_821040" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/Happy African American Old Woman Smiling While Resting Outdoors
** Note: Slight blurriness, best at smaller sizes[/caption] It’ll take you by surprise the day your parents can no longer take care of themselves. You’ll start helping them out in tiny increments over the years, helping your dad run errands when he can’t drive far distances and accompanying your mom to doctor’s appointments in case she can’t understand all the information she is given. But you’ll never quite see the day coming when a parent needs to move in with you and become your full-time charge. It’s a very disorienting experience. First and foremost, you’re taking care of another being now, which maybe you weren’t before if you never had children or if your children moved out long ago. Second off, you’re seeing your parent in a whole new way. What you’re doing is very honorable, so you deserve some preparation. Here is what nobody tells you about taking care of an aging parent. [caption id="attachment_712776" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Your parent may resist

It’s very rare that an elderly person is ready to admit that they cannot take care of themselves anymore, so this big move may have some bitterness and resentment surround it, at first. [caption id="attachment_697285" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Shutterstock[/caption]

You may need to take over their finances

If and when your parent stops being of able mind, you may need to legally become responsible for their finances. This is not a comfortable conversation, but a lawyer who specializes in elderly affairs can help make it easier.

black female nurseYou have to be wary of private nurses

If you hire any nurses for additional help, go through a reputable company that only hires certified nurses who’ve undergone extensive screening. There are plenty of “private” nurses who are simply individuals looking to take advantage of the elderly, getting them to purchase the expensive gifts and convincing them to lend them money. [caption id="attachment_821183" align="alignnone" width="1600"] Home office red Metal Mailbox in garden[/caption]

You need to watch their mail

Mail scammers (the kind that state, “If I can just transfer two million dollars into your account for one month…)target the elderly. Keep an eye on the mail that comes in for your parent. [caption id="attachment_821177" align="alignnone" width="660"] An elderly African American woman uses her tablet in her kitchen[/caption]

And their email

The elderly are using technology now! And email scams can take your parent’s inbox by storm. Do what you can to monitor your parent’s incoming email. [caption id="attachment_719709" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

Your marriage will take a backseat for a moment

If you are married, you’ll quickly find that things like date night, Sunday brunches and long evening cocktail hours come to a halt. It’s difficult to pay much attention to your romantic relationship when you are taking care of an elderly parent. [caption id="attachment_717241" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image: Shutterstock[/caption]

Ask for help so that you can have a life

You shouldn’t allow this change to ruin your marriage, though. So elicit help from friends and family and hire a nurse you trust so that you and your partner can have important alone time. [caption id="attachment_625047" align="alignleft" width="427"] Corbis[/caption]

It will be very hard to see your parent need help

The role reversal will be extreme. You’ll suddenly be telling your parent, who took care of you for most of your life, what to do. You’ll see a person you once saw as very strong, as weak. Don’t judge yourself for the feelings that come with this change. [caption id="attachment_821180" align="alignnone" width="900"] Portrait of mature mother with daughter at park during autumn[/caption]

But you are still living with your parent again

While your parent will have his weak days, he’ll also have his strong days, and it will feel like you are a teenager again, living under your parent’s roof. This is your parent, after all, and he’ll never stop giving you his opinions on your life. [caption id="attachment_702595" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

They will forget things

Your parent will ask you to do things you already did and to buy things you already bought. Try not to become frustrated with them because they probably just forgot. [caption id="attachment_722284" align="alignleft" width="417"] Shutterstock[/caption]

They may criticize how you take care of them

Your parent isn’t going to love how you do everything, just the way you didn’t love how they did everything when you were growing up under their roof. You may not like their attitude since you are taking care of them but don’t forget all the attitude you gave them as a teen. [caption id="attachment_743979" align="alignleft" width="1068"] shutterstock[/caption]

This is very hard for them

No matter how frustrating your parent is behaving, don’t forget about what their experiencing. They understand that this is probably one of the last time’s they’ll move. This is the final chapter of life, and many of their friends have passed. You cannot possibly imagine how that feels. [caption id="attachment_616901" align="alignleft" width="378"] Corbis Images[/caption]

There is a balance of being there and not

There is a sweet spot of being available to your parent when he or she needs you, but not hovering over everything they do It takes some time to find that sweet spot, so have patience. [caption id="attachment_821045" align="aligncenter" width="688"] Bigstockphoto.com/Senior man playing bridge[/caption]

You get this special time together

At the end of the day, you get to spend quality time with your parent after probably having quite separate lives for decades. It’s special when you think about it. [caption id="attachment_701103" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Your parent may talk about death

Your parent may be accepting that the end of his life is near. He needs to talk about this, and his feelings around this. Don’t try to change the subject or brush over it, even if it’s hard for you to hear. [caption id="attachment_717981" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You will have to prepare for that event

You actually cannot brush over the subject of your parent’s final days because you will probably be greatly involved in the slow preparation of their will and estate. [caption id="attachment_624664" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You can shield them from some discussions, but not all

Think carefully about which discussions your parent needs to be involved in, and which he doesn’t. For example, he may not want to talk much about his own funeral, but he will want to talk about who receives what after he passes. [caption id="attachment_821046" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/smiling elderly african american man enjoying coffee with his granddaughter at home[/caption]

You’ll realize you’re lucky to have a parent this old

Just when you think you can’t stand your parent’s criticisms of you for another moment, you’ll remember how many friends of yours already lost their parents, and how lucky you are to have yours still. [caption id="attachment_718993" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

This will eat into your inheritance, and that is odd

Money is a sensitive topic at this time. The reality is that, if your parent demands expensive nurses he has hand-selected, and wants them around all of the time, that will eat into what would have been your inheritance. It’s not a pretty subject, but it is a real one. [caption id="attachment_620857" align="alignleft" width="420"] Corbis[/caption]

Your parent may not like the decisions you make

Your parent probably will not agree with every decision you make. From choosing the best doctor that will take your parent’s insurance to renovating the bedroom to be safe for them, but also to their liking, there will be a lot of choices to make.

The post What Nobody Tells You About Caring For An Elderly Parent appeared first on MadameNoire.

The Cast Of “Underground” Covers Upscale Magazine

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If you haven't seen "Underground," you're probably tired of us singing its praises. And if you've seen the show, you already know that we would be hard pressed to say enough about it. We relish any opportunity to talk about it, so we were happy to see some of the cast on the cover of Upscale MagazineCheck out some of the images from the spread as well as the behind the scenes shots on the following pages.
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Aisha Hinds

•| W E • A R E • C O V E R E D |• @upscalemagazine @undergroundwgn w/ @alanomiller @aldis_hodge @amirahvannofficial Ai walked into this show, and they lathered me with love and support. They welcomed me as one of the family. Alano pushed me forward when Ai stalled. Amirah inspired me to stand tall. Aldis offered me his all. They gave me a safe place to fall. They had my back. It's been an awesome blessing working alongside these heroes. It is my great honor to be in their company on the cover of @upscalemagazine as they indeed made sure Ai was covered throughout this new journey through the #Underground ✊<img src=" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />❤ GrateFULL 🙌<img src=" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /> #UndergroundWGN *Heartfelt thanks to @scenebysatchel and his extraordinary team for this magical moment and continuous support! 🙏<img src=" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" />❤*

A post shared by aisha hinds (@appleofhisai) on

Aisha on Joining Season 2

Amirah Vann

Alano Miller

Aldis Hodge

A little slow dance.

With the author

You can watch the cast in a behind the scenes photo shoot and their thoughts about this current season, in the video below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zl9K4iLsK8w Catch "Underground" at 10 pm./9 c on WGN. And read a bit more of the Upscale spread here.  

The post The Cast Of “Underground” Covers Upscale Magazine appeared first on MadameNoire.

Girl Scouts Celebrate Women’s History Month In An Iconic Way

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Images matter and the Girl Scouts just showed how critical they are for young girls when they had members of the organization bring female icons to life for Women’s History Month.

Instead of just talking to girls about phenomenal trail-blazing women, they had 11 young girls become those women for a day and “actually try historic heroism on for size,” as the Girl Scouts blog notes.

The women included icons of today and yesteryear from Whoopi Goldberg, Hillary Clinton, Condoleezza Rice, Vera Wang and Mae Jemison to Celia Cruz, Lucille Ball, Madam C.J. Walker, and Girl Scouts founder Juliette Gordon Low. And we can’t forget about the subjects of one of the year’s most talked about movies, Hidden Figures, Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson.

“Girl Scouting showed me I could do whatever it was that I put my mind to,” said Jayna Cobbs, whose daughter was chosen to represent Condoleezza Rice. “I want my girls to know that they can do anything if they try. Women’s History Month is a great time to teach them that by talking to them about the women who were the first to do things. When they learn about these women and what they went through, they realize that they could do it, too.”

Check out the before-and-after shots taken by Tricia Messeroux of Toddlewood and behind-the-scenes video of the transformations below.

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Being Mary Jane Ep. 9: Let The Love Triangle Begin…

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In this week's episode, it looks like Mary Jane could be getting her big break in the anchor chair. But while her professional life seems to be coming together, there is all of a sudden a dent in her personal life, specifically when she finds herself struggling with Lee and with developing feelings for Justin. Let's chat about all that went down in episode nine, a juicy one. Being Mary Jane ep 9

To Give up His Sperm, or Not to Give up His Sperm

When we finished up episode eight of Being Mary Jane, Lee's ex-girlfriend and mother of his two kids was asking if he would be interested in being her sperm donor so she and a girlfriend could have a child together. When we pick up in episode nine, Mary Jane and Lee are back at her hotel trying to wrap their head around the situation. For MJ, it sounds like an obvious no. Lee is in a new relationship (with her), and she is hoping to have a child with Lee (even though she hasn't said this out loud) since their relationship seems like the real deal. But for Lee, he's actually considering doing it. His kids allegedly always asked about another brother or sister and before he and Zoe broke up (because she cheated on him), they were considering having another child. Clearly confused and making MJ upset, Lee decided he needs his space to figure things out. Being Mary Jane ep 9

Where Does MJ Go From Here? To the Top If She's Not Afraid

When Mary Jane gets to work she is annoyed. She has a lot to celebrate with work, as her story on Judge McAllister has spread her name across the country. But as she tells Kara, she just wants her personal life to come together for once as well. She had hoped to have a conversation with Lee about having a child together only for Zoe to interrupt with her odd request. She tries to keep her head up, though, because Justin has a story idea that he believes will work. He pitches it at the morning meeting. It's a follow-up interview with a woman named Liz Tourneau who after being cyberbullied, ran off to the Virgin Islands away from everything and everyone. Ronda points out that if anyone is going to interview Tourneau again, it's going to be her, as she did the initial Q&A. Garrett agrees and Ronda is set to be sent to the Virgin Islands for a day to do the story. When Mary Jane asks Justin about his seemingly failed plan, he says it actually worked. With Ronda going to the Virgin Islands, her anchor seat is open and MJ can ride the wave of popularity she currently has to make a good impression as future anchor. Genius. https://www.instagram.com/p/BRpBNfsBvb1/?tagged=beingmaryjane&hl=en

Kara's Relationship Status Goes Public -- as Hell

Mary Jane tells Kara about Justin's idea, and even she can admit that it's a great one. However, she encourages her friend not to get caught up with Justin, as he's the same smoothing-talking man she's found herself on emotional roller coasters with before. Speaking of emotional roller coasters though, Kara's relationship with Orlando has reached an interesting place. He showed up to her house drunk and way too happy to see her the night before, and during an interview on a sports show, he actually reveals to the world that they're dating. Unfortunately, Kara isn't as excited about this big reveal as everyone else. https://www.instagram.com/p/BRpdXlkD9je/?tagged=beingmaryjane&hl=en

The Fight for Temporary Co-Anchor Begins...

While Justin set Mary Jane up to take Ronda's anchor seat while she's gone, it's not going to be that easy for her to get it. She has to persuade Ronda's co-anchor, Aaron, to allow her to sit in the chair, and that doesn't go as smoothly as planned. Over a cup of poisoned coffee, Ronda tells MJ that she told Aaron to let co-worker Natalie sit in for her, and even claims she did it for MJ's own good. In response, MJ tells her that if she really believes that, she's "more out of touch than I thought." She continues to try and work her magic on Aaron, turning Natalie against him (the two had a sexual relationship that she called "insurance" for an opportunity like this) by sharing that Aaron is already canoodling with another co-worker. Natalie and Aaron end up arguing and MJ feels good. She planted the seed and ish is slowly falling apart, which is perfect for her. https://www.instagram.com/p/BRomwPfjl9M/?tagged=beingmaryjane&hl=en

Orlando Makes Kara a Celebrity Overnight, but She's Not Happy

Now a well-known figure due to her relationship with Orlando, Kara isn't really comfortable with the attention. This is especially true since she thinks the public is just comparing her to his younger, curvier exes. Still, Orlando seems serious about her, finding time to bond with her kids, bringing her flowers and even helping her get a seat in Garrett's exclusive celebrity poker game. Still, you can pretty much tell that Kara plans to sabotage the relationship because she's afraid of falling in love and getting played. https://www.instagram.com/p/BRo0P8FDe9T/?tagged=beingmaryjane&hl=en

Justin, Meet Lee. Lee, Meet Justin.

While she's been focused on getting in the anchor chair, Mary Jane has been ignoring Lee's calls. So, without warning, he shows up at her job ready to chat about his decision on whether or not to help Zoe. This is the second time he's done this and we're just supposed to pretend it's romantic and what not... When Mary Jane goes to see him, she is talking with Justin, and when the two men meet, Justin asks Lee if he's a construction worker instead of a comedian. Things quickly become awkward. Once Justin (who obvi has sexual tension with MJ) gives the two their space to talk, Lee tells MJ that he's decided not to have a baby with Zoe because he wants to focus on his future with her. https://www.instagram.com/p/BRoFyZmhWZH/?taken-by=betmaryjane&hl=en

MJ Gets Her Big Break -- and Her Sexually Tense Moment With Justin

As for professional dealings, Mary Jane is ecstatic to learn that Aaron has decided to pick her as his stand-in co-anchor while Ronda is gone. Of course, Ronda is anything but happy. In the hallway, per the usual, she tries to get in MJ's head by telling her that the last correspondent who was given the chance to sit in the anchor chair blew it so bad that she was fired. By putting Natalie's name in the hat, Ronda pretends that she was trying to look out for MJ, but now, MJ gets her chance to see if she can do better. Freaking out, Mary Jane stays late to practice for her big opportunity. She's so stressed all of a sudden that she calls Justin, of all people, to come through and help her. While reading, he touches her chin in an effort to tell her not to bring it down. Then and there, their chemistry is undeniable. He tells her she will do great and heads home, leaving her shaken by the fact that she knows good and well she liked whatever she felt when Justin touched her. https://www.instagram.com/p/BRoBNS1lS_z/?tagged=beingmaryjane&hl=en

Ronda Steals MJ's Moment, Justin Steals a Kiss

The next morning, Mary Jane is getting prepped and pretty for her co-anchor for morning news debut. Unfortunately though, Kara calls and asks if MJ has seen Ronda, because she jetted out of her hotel in the Virgin Islands without saying anything and Kara hasn't seen or heard anything. Out of nowhere, Ronda walks into the studio with Liz Tourneau, having brought the woman on a private jet so that she could interview her live on air, and without having to give up her anchor seat for the day. Ladies and gentlemen, Queen Petty. Mary Jane is livid. She literally kicks a chair in her office while Justin tries to tell her to calm down. In response, she takes her anger out on him, saying that his plan failed and she just wasn't meant to sit in the anchor chair. He reassures her that she will be anchor as long as he is around and says the situation (MJ losing her chance to play anchor) is "a setback, not a failure." Their eyes connect and out of nowhere, they kiss. Justin says Garrett might be looking for them so he would give her space to get herself together. After he leaves, MJ is shook yet again by what she's clearly feeling. https://www.instagram.com/p/BRonzX5jLw2/?tagged=beingmaryjane&hl=en

Kara Sabotages Her Relationship in the Lamest Way

As for Kara and Orlando, she decides she just can't do it anymore after flipping through photos of the women he's been linked to in the past. Orlando comes to her home in good spirits and she meets him with negativity, telling him that their relationship was supposed to be a "business arrangement" and she got what she needed. She's done with him. He is hurt and tells her that he loves her, but if she lets him leave her apartment, he's not returning. She lets him leave and then immediately breaks down in tears. Stupid move, girl. Being Mary Jane ep 9

Lee and MJ Decide to Have a Baby Together, but Will They Actually Last?

By the end of the episode, Mary Jane is still pissed as she enters her hotel room. Already there with food and lots of alcohol is Lee, who came to celebrate. Unfortunately, he doesn't know that Ronda pulled the rug right from under MJ. He comforts her and ends up being the one to bring up the topic of having children together. MJ is excited, but admits that at her age, she's going to need help if she is to get pregnant. Lee seems open and willing to see a fertility doctor with her. They both share an embrace and "I love you," but we can't help but think that in next week's season finale, it's Justin she will likely be embracing...

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Rachel Lindsay Fields “Once You Go Black” Joke While Meeting “The Bachelorette” Contestants

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When ABC announced that their next bachelorette was going to be a Black woman, there was excitement from the Black community and then something else. Lindsay told The Hollywood Reporter that there was pressure from Black folk for her to choose a Black bachelor. But Lindsay made it very clear that it’s not her intention to bow to any of it.

“It’s my journey in finding love. And whether that person is black, white, red, whatever — it’s my journey. I’m not choosing a man for America, I’m choosing a man for me.

“I know there are going to be people who criticize what I do no matter what, but I’m just trying to not get caught up in it. I feel like it was meant to be and that outweighs any fear or pressure that I have in being the first African-American Bachelorette.”

I hear her. While the part of me that loves and has been conditioned to support Black men wants her to choose a brutha, there is another part of me that recognizes that there really is no reason for her to feel this type of pressure. After all, Black men aren’t known for their loyalty toward us in the public eye. And honestly, I can’t argue with anyone who suggests that after so much disloyalty and disrespect from Black men, we go where we are treated properly, regardless of what color that man may be.

Still, after a clip from the upcoming season of “The Bachelorette” where Rachel meets the men who will be vying for her heart, I have to wonder if some of the White boys who ABC chose to meet her, are up to snuff.

One of these men, Dean came out to meet Rachel for the first time and said,

Dean: “How are you. I’m Dean.

Rachel: What’s your name?

Dean: Dean. Nice to meet you.

Rachel: Dean. Nice to meet you too.

Dean: You look amazing.

Rachel: Thank you!

Dean: Yeah of course. Are you excited?

Rachel: I’m very excited. Very nervous.

Dean: I just want to let you know, I’m ready to go Black and I’m never going to go back.

Rachel: I love that!

Dean: I’m excited to get to know you more.

Rachel: I’m excited to get to know you too. That was great.

Rachel seemed genuinely pleased by Dean’s little quip. The crowd was in stiches. Obviously, it set him apart from the crowd because we’re talking about him today. But when I first saw it, I cringed. Not only because it was cliche and corny, but also because I wondered, aside from the jokes that can be made at the expense of Rachel’s Blackness, are Dean and the rest of these men who jumped at the chance to be on reality television really equipped to relate to or even attempt to understand Rachel’s Black identity in any type of serious manner.

Really, I shouldn’t put too much stock in these shows. The idea of picking your mate out of a corral of men acting unnaturally in front of national tv cameras is not entirely realistic. And history has shown that, more often than not, the relationships formed on the show are not lasting ones.

Perhaps, I’m tripping. And I know folks will have plenty to say in the comment section. Certainly this is not the show where that type of work and introspection will be required. But it’s annoying to see these type of lazy jokes being made and received so well, when the country has proven time and time again that it’s too soon.

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post Rachel Lindsay Fields “Once You Go Black” Joke While Meeting “The Bachelorette” Contestants appeared first on MadameNoire.

5 Blue Lip Looks I Promise You Won’t Regret Trying

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A few years ago I was on a mad hunt for a blue lipstick and it took me a good year or two to find one I loved, like really loved. I won’t front, blue isn’t an easy color to pull off on your lips, but when you do it right, people absolutely take notice. I’m talking compliments on compliments on compliments.

If you’ve ever done purple, trust me you can rock blue. The thing is you want to be mindful of the shade you choose, opting for blues with deeper tones as opposed to brighter hues which can wash you out or make you look a little clownish. You may not wear a blue lip every single day, but my goal with this list of options is to show you you could if you wanted to.


L’oréal INFALLIBLE Paints/Lip (Navy Spy)

This is the shade seen above on me and my friend and fellow beauty write Jacqueline Yates. If you like a little shine with your color, this lip paint is definitely the route to go. And despite it’s slickness, it has staying power that lasted through several cocktails (FYI).

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NYX Soft Matte Cream (Moscow)

This navy blue shade gives you the best of both texture worlds with softer application and finish than most mattes with the same high pigmentation. And it’s $6. What do you have to lose?

Dior Rouge Dior Lipstick (Vissionary Matte)

This one’s a little pricey, but it’s Dior — and it’s fabulous. If you’re going to splurge, this blue lip makes it worth it.

 

 

MAC Lipstick (Matte Royal)

This was the blue I found after years of searching that made all my hard work worth it. It looks amazing on all shades of brown.

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Urban Decay Vice Liquid Lipstick (Time)

This is a gunmetal navy shade with a metallized finish. It looks intimidating at first but once you put it on you’ll know it’s a winner.

The post 5 Blue Lip Looks I Promise You Won’t Regret Trying appeared first on MadameNoire.

YouTube Cooking Star Felicia “Auntie Fee” O’Dell Fighting For Life After Heart Attack

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If you like looking for unique food recipes (and how to make them) on YouTube and like to laugh at the same time, you probably know about Felicia “Auntie Fee” O’Dell.

She’s amassed quite a following for her potty-mouthed cooking videos, where she makes all sorts of meals for friends, family, the kids “and sh-t.” Such dishes include meals with a lot of cheese, like parmesan steak, cheese tater thots and grilled cheese with shrimp, as well as chicken and sweet treats that she’s been putting together on camera (usually recorded by son Tavis) for the last few years.

Sadly, the YouTube personality is reportedly fighting for her life right now after having a heart attack.

According to TMZ, she was taken to the Harbor-UCLA Medical Center after initially feeling sick over the weekend. In the early hours of Sunday, the 59-year-old did state via social media that she had fallen somewhat ill.

Her condition didn’t improve as the week started, though. She reportedly told family members that she was having chest pains and started vomiting yesterday, so she was taken to the hospital. There were stories claiming she passed away last night, but such reports were quickly debunked with an update on O’Dell’s Facebook page and a request for prayers.

The latest updates from family to fans claim that O’Dell is in critical condition.

Since going viral in 2014, O’Dell has appeared on everything from The Steve Harvey Show to Jimmy Kimmel Live and even having a cameo in Barbershop: The Next Cut. Her videos have obviously entertained and brought joy to a lot of people as there has been an outpouring of love for the woman they call Auntie Fee online. In an interview with The Los Angeles Times in 2015, O’Dell said she’s relatable to so many because she keeps it real and encourages others to be themselves, too. Her most recent video was published a week ago.

“I want them to feel comfortable,” she said. “They don’t have to dress a certain way to see me or talk a certain way to come in contact with me.”

She added, “This is their house and they don’t have to put up a front for nobody.”

 

Image via Facebook 

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10 Things Dreamers Do And Don’t Do, According To The Experts

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dreamersThough it’s nearly impossible to sum up the feeling of spending a weekend with 100 of the most gifted and ambitious high school students across the country during Disney’s Dreamers Academy, I realize sometimes we just want the cliff notes. Sometimes we just want the lesson to be short, sweet and to the point, and so I’ve done my best to give you that, taking bits and pieces from the speakers over the course of four days of encouragement and resource sharing and compiled them into a list of things dreamers do and don’t do.

Often we think of a dreamer as someone who just fantasizes about one day doing x,y, or z — and sometimes that ends up being the case. But these dos and don’ts are designed to get you to move past the idea, remove whatever mental or emotional barriers are in your way, and get into action. And they were handed down from people who know what they’re talking about. People like Cam Newton and Kim Fields who had big dreams too and decided to follow them. So check out this short list of dos and don’t and if you want the extended version of the lessons, check out these takeaways.

dreamers

1. They Don’t ask permission, they give notice. They let the world know they’re coming. — Lisa Nichols, Transformational Coach

2. They Don’t allow not having a mentor to hinder them from having mentors. They take advantage of online tools, books, and other resources made available to them by those they want as a mentor.– Patrice C. Washington, The Money Maven.

3. They Don’t worry about balance between life and work, they create harmony. — Patrice C. Washington

4. They Don’t have a Plan B. — Cam Newton

5. They Don’t push their pain onto their children — Brandi Harvey

6. They Don’t let a setback cause them to sit back, they prepare for their comeback. — Jaylen Bledsoe, Founder Bledsoe Technologies, LLC

7. They Don’t forget they are here to serve others. — Kim Fields

dreamers

8. They Do concern themselves with perspective, people, and purpose — Princeton Parker, Disney Dreamers Academy Alumni

9. They Do let people call them selfish when they put their dreams first because they know it’s really self-care. — Lisa Nichols

10. They Do know its never too late to follow a dream. — Chef Jeff Henderson, Flip My Food

The post 10 Things Dreamers Do And Don’t Do, According To The Experts appeared first on MadameNoire.

10 Tweets That Explain Why We Need To #ProtectTransWomen

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If you've been on Twitter today, you might have seen the hashtag #ProtectTransWomen trending. Last year was the most deadly when it came to deaths of Trans women. The issue of which bathrooms trans students should be able to use became a national debate--unnecessarily. And this year seven trans women have already been murdered. And the victims of these murders are often trans women of color. It's an issue that all communities, but especially the Black community, should advocate for. For those who still might not be convinced, here are a couple of reasons why.

The post 10 Tweets That Explain Why We Need To #ProtectTransWomen appeared first on MadameNoire.

The Realities Of Living Alone For The First Time In A Long Time

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[caption id="attachment_821197" align="alignleft" width="1068"] Bigstockphoto.com/Above view of a woman waking up in her bedroom[/caption] Even if the person was totally wrong for you, and even if getting out of the relationship was the best thing you ever did for yourself, if you leave somebody with whom you lived for years (or decades!) you lose more than a romantic partner; you lose a roommate. Your friends are probably checking in on you to see how your broken heart is coming along, but nobody remembers to ask how your very empty apartment feels. Admit it; you’ve even taken some comfort remembering other roommates who you didn’t like much, just because you knew they were there if somebody tried to break in, or if you choked on your breakfast. Losing your live-in partner can be weird in more ways than one. Here are the realities of living alone for the first time in a long time. [caption id="attachment_617368" align="alignleft" width="433"] Corbis[/caption]

There is no rush to get home

You stay for one more drink at the work happy hour; you hang out to watch the short film after your friend’s short film at the festival. You know that nobody is at home waiting for you. [caption id="attachment_625727" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You might wish there was a rush to get home

This change is freeing but can also feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under you. Having someone waiting at home gave you some sense of structure, now the night seems like some bottomless abyss. [caption id="attachment_713803" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

It can be scary

You may absolutely adore having the place all to yourself until you hear a thump in the night. Then you’ll realize that bumps in the night can be scary when there is nobody there to tell you it’s nothing. [caption id="attachment_709772" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You may not be good at being alone

When you lived with your partner cleaning the apartment on a Saturday was social. Now you are alone unless you make an effort not to be, and you realize that being alone causes you some anxiety. [caption id="attachment_607975" align="alignleft" width="419"]No Love On Tinder Shutterstock[/caption]

You’re not good at socializing

You may also realize that calling someone and comparing schedules feels like hell; you’re not good at planning, and really, your friendships have only survived because other people made an effort. [caption id="attachment_721231" align="alignleft" width="414"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You’re a slob

There is a good chance that 50 percent of any level of cleanliness you used to have was because you didn’t want to piss off your partner. It’s amazing how bathroom trashcans can just overflow when there is nobody to stay clean for. [caption id="attachment_728345" align="alignleft" width="500"] Credit: Shutterstock[/caption]

Bottles of wine are hard to get through

Oh, right; you two used to split a bottle of wine. Now you have a glass one night, a glass or two the next, and the bottle spoils before you can finish it. [caption id="attachment_711406" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

It takes a while to do laundry

You cannot justify doing laundry for nearly a month because you just don’t create enough of it on your own. Oh, and there is nobody else around to help you transfer clothes from the washing machine to the dryer while you run out to do an errand. [caption id="attachment_729089" align="alignleft" width="1068"] shutterstock[/caption]

You have no idea what you want to watch

You’ve had to choose something to watch with somebody else for years. You’ve grown to like some genre because it was the only one the two of you could agree on but left to watch whatever you’d like, you’re not quite sure what that is. [caption id="attachment_624664" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

If you were to die…

You wonder if anybody would find you for weeks if you were to die. You end up texting the one neighbor you’re friends with, asking that she knock on your door if she hasn’t seen you outside for a few days. [caption id="attachment_703400" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You eat weird things

You used to attempt to assemble a meal that made some sense because you were assembling it for two. Now you eat frozen dumplings, tomato soup and a can of tuna on a pumpkin bagel. [caption id="attachment_708547" align="alignleft" width="621"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You miss the verbal rewards

There is nobody around to tell you what a nice job you’ve done keeping the place clean, or what a nice lunch you made, or what lovely cutlery you picked out. And to be honest, you miss the affirmations. [caption id="attachment_620940" align="alignleft" width="500"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Pets really do make good companions

You never realized before that your pet really does feel like an extra person in the room. But you realize it now because you are so grateful they are there. [caption id="attachment_712463" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You’re kind of gross

You’ll leave a used tampon on the top of the trash can for the world to see for weeks unless you have a guest over. Oh, and you’ll leave dirty underwear hanging on doorknobs. [caption id="attachment_699681" align="alignleft" width="469"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Binge eating is too easy

Perhaps the only reason you used to stop eating at a certain time was that the other person stopped eating, or because you had some agreement that you’d do something at a certain time. Now you could just eat and eat… [caption id="attachment_706179" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

You can pleasure yourself whenever

You’ll rediscover the joys of masturbation. And rediscover them, and rediscover them…and dive deep into the exotic toys portion of Amazon. Your friends will wonder where you went. [caption id="attachment_698982" align="alignleft" width="420"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You work faster than you thought

If you work from home or even complete some tasks at home on your computer, you realize that you work quicker than you thought! Your partner was just always distracting you. [caption id="attachment_609049" align="alignleft" width="415"] Shutterstock[/caption]

You have to be bossier with contractors

Nobody wants to admit it, but sometimes contractors (like the people redoing your bathroom) try to get women living alone to pay more, thinking she won’t haggle with them. Now you see that, and you have to deal with it. [caption id="attachment_610724" align="alignleft" width="422"]A troubled wife turns to Reddit for advice after struggling to forge a relationship with her new husband's ex. Shutterstock[/caption]

Some people think it’s really cool

Some people will be thoroughly impressed when they find out that you live by yourself. They see you as independent, strong and stable. [caption id="attachment_701103" align="alignleft" width="420"] Image Source: Shutterstock[/caption]

Some people think it’s sad

Some people will offer to “Come over any time you’d like…” because they assume you’re sad, lonely, and incapable of finding somebody to live with you.

The post The Realities Of Living Alone For The First Time In A Long Time appeared first on MadameNoire.


Vanessa Bell Calloway On Turning 60, Ageism In Hollywood And Finally Being A Leading Lady On TV

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It’s been almost 30 years since Vanessa Bell Calloway played one-foot hopping Princess Imani Izzi in Coming to America. Since then, she’s come quite a long way not only in Hollywood, but in life in general. She’s currently the star of the Sunday night Bounce TV hit Saints & Sinners, is set to have a recurring role on the Starz series Survivor’s Remorse, has a film called A Preacher’s Son coming to Netflix soon and two popular web series under her belt: In the Company of Friends and Cookin’ and Hookin’ Up.

Vanessa Bell Calloway

But one of the biggest things she’s prepping for is to turn 60 on March 20. She’s celebrating by not only having a “Sexty Sixty” birthday party, but by helping other women celebrate their age with her campaign, How Do You Rock Your Age? We talked to the beauty about this major milestone, the reason for this inspiring campaign (which you, no matter your age, shape, whatever, can submit photos and testimonies to) and how it is getting older in the entertainment industry.

MadameNoire: What are you most excited about when it comes to turning 60? 

Vanessa Bell Calloway: I’m just excited that I’m alive. Whitney Houston will never see 60. We know that for a fact. Prince will never turn 60. We know that for a fact. So the fact that God has blessed me with another year, to have a great family, my girls are grown and doing well — I’m just excited about the next decade. Work is great. I mean, my life is good right now. I think a lot of it has to do with not only do I work hard, but I have a great energy and a good, positive outlook. So I’m most excited about continuing with my life and just embracing who I’m going to be in the next 10 years. I’m going to change a little bit, and I’ve already changed a little bit. You see things differently. Your body changes. But I’m excited to continue embracing who I am and to try to offer more of who I am to the world.

MN: Why did you launch your new campaign, “How Do You Rock Your Age?” 

VBC: It’s about looking great, feeling great, but most of all, looking the best you can, feeling the best you can and being the best you can. The reason I am embracing this is because women, we are taught that when we age it’s negative. We’re treated like we are sent out to the pasture to die. Men get kudos for getting gray hair and getting older and more distinguished. They get “distinguished” and we just get “old.” It’s like, what are we supposed to do? Are we supposed to stop our lives? Nobody is going to be 40 forever. Life goes on! You can be eternally 40 but that means you’re dead. I think instead of women buying into this whole facade of “I’ve gained weight, I don’t look the same,” — yeah, most men don’t either. Embrace it and let’s help each other. If you want to work out and look the best you can after you work out, that doesn’t mean you’re going to be a size six or four, that just means you’re getting yourself together the best way you can to embrace life. Embrace who you are and stop being ashamed and hiding the fact that you’re 60, 65, 70. Shout it from the mountaintop because that means you’ve been on this earth. Whatever you’re doing you’re proud of. Most women have families, we raise kids, we have husbands, we run businesses, we do a lot, and you can’t do that at 25. You have to live a little bit to get those things accomplished. Be proud of not only your accomplishments, but the age and who you are and great space that God has uniquely created for you at whatever point in your life you are.

And I want women in their 20s to celebrate it too because that’s a different era. That’s a different look and feel in itself. And if they can look at us being positive, then they have something to look forward to. They’ll go into their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s knowing some of the positive things they should do so when they reach that, they’re not depressed about turning 50 or 60. They’re energized and excited. So I think it’s really important that we encourage women.

I’m sick of it. I get penalized in Hollywood for two things. The funniest thing is I get penalized because I don’t look 60. Well, let’s change that! What does 60 look like? Why can’t I play someone’s mother? I could have a 40-year-old kid. Why do I have to look broke down, old and have gray hair for you to feel good about me being 60? I get penalized because they say, ‘You don’t look old enough.’ But I am! Let’s change that narrative. Let’s stop making women have to look a certain way in TV and film as 50, 60 and 70. Now if you look older for your age, then that’s fine. There are those women, too! But I don’t look older and I’m not the only one. We’re taking care of ourselves differently. The way our mothers and their friends looked, we’re not doing that. So let’s not be penalized because we don’t look broke down at 60. Let’s change the narrative.

MN: As an actress preparing to turn 60, aside from people saying you look too young, what other ageism experiences have you experienced in the industry? 

VBC: Ageism is very prevalent in Hollywood. They want women to just…go to the pasture. All the men, when they get a part and they have to get a wife, they never hire a peer. Their wives are always 15 years younger than them. That’s a form of ageism we have to deal with all of the time. They don’t see us as “sexy.” They get someone younger to play the sexy part. But we can be the police chief, office woman or head of this and frumpy. That’s the part they want us to do. I’m sick of it.

MN: How have you managed to continue to look so flawless after all this time?

VBC: I’ve always been healthy because I was a concert dancer for years. Moving has been a part of my life since I was 11, 12 years old. I don’t know what it’s like not to move. I can’t not move. Working out is a part of my life. I’ve been a healthy eater since college. I stopped drinking sodas when I was in high school. For years I didn’t eat red meat. I went back and ate a little bit but now I don’t eat it. There are a lot of things I’ve always done because what I realized is that, as you grow older, you have to change habits. You can’t do what you did in your 20s. I can’t do what I did in my 30s. I can’t eat the way that I did in my 40s. I constantly pay attention to the things that have to be let go from my diet. I work out. I eat healthy. And you have to keep a good, positive mental attitude as well. So yeah, I’m definitely conscious of everything I do.

MN: I saw that Tina Knowles-Lawson shared her story on your How Do You Rock Your Age website. How did she get involved with this project? 

We’re friends and she’s a wonderful person. I call her “the queen.” And she loved the idea. We’re peers. She respects me as a mother and a wife and I respect her as a mother and a wife. We’ve both raised girls and we’ve both done a great job of it. When you can get somebody like that to admit their age and say, “Hey, I look great! This how I rock my age. I’m proud to be who I am,” it really helps to encourage other women. So I’m very grateful that she immediately said “Yes, I will help you with your campaign.”

MN: Are you excited about Season 2 of Saints & Sinners? I know this is your first show as the protagonist.

VBC: I’m excited to be back. You know, anytime you get to be the lead of a show it’s an honor. Just recently, the last five or six years, have Black women been the leads of shows. Or as we call it, number one on the call sheet. Just recently! Since Scandal. So it’s an honor because there was a time when Black women, I don’t care how good you were, you maybe got the girlfriend at best on a weekly series. But you damn sure weren’t getting the part that the White girl was up for. You can believe that. You weren’t going to be number one on the call sheet. That was not happening. So with the success of these other shows, it’s happening. And it’s nice to have the feeling, before I get too old and die, that I’m finally number one on the call sheet, and I deserve it. I’ve worked hard. And I’m good. I can carry it. So it’s very exciting to return. I directed an episode this season and that was a lot of fun. Next season I hope to direct some more. The show is good, the show is picking up steam. We’re picking up new audience members. And the potential of the show is really great. I call it “The Little Show That Could,” like the little engine that could. So yes, very excited to come back to Saints and Sinners and I’m very grateful.

 

The post Vanessa Bell Calloway On Turning 60, Ageism In Hollywood And Finally Being A Leading Lady On TV appeared first on MadameNoire.

Fan Accuses Miguel Of Grabbing Her Breast, Singer’s Fiancée Responds To “Clown Foolery”

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Singer Miguel has been accused of sexual assault, with a young woman claiming that the “Adorn” singer removed her breast from her shirt after she took a picture with him.

Miguel fiancee

The young woman, named Xian Bass, is a model, lyricist, educator, and as she put it on Facebook, “Free from shame, I am; naturally sexual, divinely sensual, and organically feminine.” Bass, who studies at the University of New Mexico, shared this image of herself smiling for a picture with the singer. She claims moments later he grabbed her breast.

The full caption of this image reads:

Dear @miguel,
I used to be a fan of your music.
I was a fan of your music until you blatantly disrespected my body in a public place. There is nothing I did or said that warranted this disgusting display of entitlement, rape culture, and male privilege. I approached you respectfully and you still decided my body was not sacred enough to be treated as a human being. After we took this photo, you took it upon yourself to grab my breast and remove it from my shirt WITHOUT CONSENT. You then proceeded to look at my naked breast with such a disgusting look on your face. It’s still embedded in my memory. The sneer of your lip and salivating mouth is making my stomach turn. I really don’t understand why you would do that to someone who approached you as a fan. I’m beyond disgusted right now. Are you used to treating random female strangers this way? Have you gotten away with this in the past?
Well, it stops HERE and NOW.
I will not sit in shameful silence and allow sexual assault to be normalized. #toxicmasculinity #maleprivilege #violated #rapecultureisreal #celebrityprivilege #iwasntaskingforit #speakup #speakupspeakout

She also posted multiple videos on her social media speaking about the incident. She said, I’ve never been objectified like that” and called Miguel “entitled.”

According to Bass, she ran into the singer at a club and told him she was a big fan. She said he seemed quite warm leading up to the alleged incident:

Instagram Photo

As for Miguel, he hasn’t responded to the claims or any comments that have been left on his social media about what Bass said happened. However, his fiancée, Nazanin Mandi, whom he’s been with since 2005, ended up responding in her own way. Her comment was captured by TheYBF:

Considering that she said something in his defense, the likelihood of Miguel actually commenting at this point is slim. If he does, we will be sure to share his response with you.

The post Fan Accuses Miguel Of Grabbing Her Breast, Singer’s Fiancée Responds To “Clown Foolery” appeared first on MadameNoire.

Are Alfred Enoch And Aja Naomi King Dating? The Proof Is In The Pictures

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Y'all it would appear that Aja Naomi King, who plays Michaela on "How To Get Away With Murder" and Alfred Enoch, who plays Wes (RIP), may have a little thang going on.To be honest, I suspected something when I was reading her social media posts about his departure from the show. But then again, I want all attractive, Black co-stars to be together in real life, (Blame it on Martin and Gina.) So I just assumed I was being childish. Then I saw that Aja took her parents over to London and they just so happened to run into Alfie over there. No big deal, right? Wrong. This is how she captioned the picture.
Love most in the world, eh? When E Online asked her outright about their possible courtship, King had this to say.
"I would like to clear up nothing," King said with a big smile and a big laugh. "People could think what they want and I'm going to let them." She then laughed some more. "He's a beautiful man and I think I'm quite a lovely young lady," she said.
That sealed it for me. While this could be an attempt at being mysterious or creating a story around herself, it seems a bit odd that if she weren't dating him, she would want to keep people under the illusion that she was. After all, when we think about the couples who've played coy with their relationships, despite being photographed together all over town, Nelly and Ashanti, Beyoncé and Jay Z, they usually were in a full blown relationship. Plus, after a bit of digging, we found that this picture in London, is just one of many Aja has on her personal page. And as is often the case, the details are in the captions. Check them out and let us know what you think.

Basking in all that @essence Excellence has me feeling like...🎉 #blackwomeninhollywood

A post shared by Aja King (@ajanaomi_king) on

Look! I found out who killed Wes!!! @yarashahidi #HTGAWM #BLACKISH #ESSENCE

A post shared by Aja King (@ajanaomi_king) on

That memorial photo was so sad. I prefer this one! #HTGAWM

A post shared by Aja King (@ajanaomi_king) on

Resistance. Respect. #womensmarch 👊🏾

A post shared by Aja King (@ajanaomi_king) on

You know that's bae when he goes to the Women's March with you.

Family 😍

A post shared by Aja King (@ajanaomi_king) on

This One.

A post shared by Aja King (@ajanaomi_king) on

I keep watching it hoping he won't walk out the door...please don't go!

A post shared by Aja King (@ajanaomi_king) on

Love u

A post shared by Aja King (@ajanaomi_king) on

Well... What say you?
Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post Are Alfred Enoch And Aja Naomi King Dating? The Proof Is In The Pictures appeared first on MadameNoire.

Tia Mowry Reveals She Was On Diet Pills During Sister, Sister: “I’m Not Proud Of It”

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Actress, mother and Cooking Channel host Tia Mowry just released a book on Tuesday called Whole New You: How Real Food Transforms Your Life, for a Healthier, More Gorgeous You. In it, the 38-year-old star talked about picking up unhealthy eating habits when she was young and starring on Sister, Sister with Tamera.

Tia Mowry sister sister

“TV sets are always catered, so I was surrounded by junk food 24/7. To my teenage self, it was like living in a Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory,” Mowry wrote in an excerpt shared with PEOPLE. “Everything I wanted was at my fingertips: Twizzlers, M&M’s, Starbursts, potato chips, you name it. And if something I craved wasn’t there, all I had to do was ask: ‘Chocolate chip cookies, please?’ And they simply appeared. It was heaven. If heaven leads to health problems, that is.”

Feeling the pressure to stay slim while being featured front and center on the hit show, Mowry admitted in the book that she made the bad decision to take diet pills to keep her weight down. She was still a teen at the time she developed such habits.

“I didn’t feel fat, but the pressure of being on television and wanting to look sexy and beautiful took over,” she wrote. “I’m not proud of it. I got skinny, true, but the pills caused my heart to race, and I knew in my gut that I was hurting myself.”

She kept taking them, utilizing diet pills throughout college. It wasn’t until her secret came out in a psych class at Pepperdine University that she decided to get off of them. Her teacher encouraged her to write “Give up diet pills” on a piece of paper, and when she had the chance, burn it.

“As I watched the paper crackle and burn, something in me released,” she wrote. “I haven’t touched diet pills since that day, and thankfully, I haven’t wanted to.”

Unfortunately, though, soon after giving them up, Mowry found out she had endometriosis. In order to stifle the pain that she was feeling from the condition and decrease inflammation (she had two laparoscopic surgeries to deal with everything), Mowry finally had to learn how to clean up her diet the right way, including giving up dairy.

“It had never even occurred to me that something I had always eaten (so innocently) could be causing me such harm,” Mowry said in her book. “Now here was a well-respected doctor telling me that my problem — my big, you-may-never-get-pregnant problem — came down to my favorite foods: butter, cheese, and gelato. It was like a slap in the face.”

But as she pointed out, after six months of eating right, she was better able to deal with her endometriosis, she lost weight and “had more energy than I remember ever having.” Not to mention, a year later, Mowry got pregnant with son, Cree.

“The cherry on top of this dairy-free sundae is that I got pregnant. Quickly,” she wrote. “Given all of my health issues, I hadn’t expected it to happen so fast — if at all — but after I’d been following my new regimen for just twelve months, Cory came to visit me in Atalanta [sic], and a few weeks later, we got the happy news!”

 

Images via WENN

The post Tia Mowry Reveals She Was On Diet Pills During Sister, Sister: “I’m Not Proud Of It” appeared first on MadameNoire.

Serious Question: Are You Ever Too Old For Cornrows?

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That’s a question my co-worker posed to me yesterday. The same co-worker who, last year, saw a photo of an intricately parted cornrow style and told me, at 31, I should get it and then proceeded to tell me yesterday she felt too old for such styles at 28.

It was an article on Blackgirllonghair.com that prompted the discussion. In a piece on Solange’s braid exhibit, a writer asked, after noting the beauty of the numerous styles on display, as well the fact that such designs “are typically seen as juvenile on black women:”

“Will cornrows ever be a common style for black women into adulthood?”

My gut reaction to the question when read and asked verbally was no for the very reason the author noted: such styles are typically seen as juvenile and not age appropriate, despite the fact that the very notion of certain things being age appropriate or not is antiquated in and of itself.

That’s a mindset Michaela Angela Davis certainly doesn’t subscribe to. When the image activist appeared on an episode of Did Y’all See? she talked to us about seeing Beyoncé’s Lemonade cover and immediately going out to get cornrows of her own, which she wore while giving commentary on CNN the next day in the ultimate display of carefree Black girlism. It’s a look she’s also proudly replicated many times since then.

Instagram Photo

I reckon there are also some women in their late 20s, 30s, and even older whose apprehension to rock the style has less to do with age and more to do with professional concerns. If we can barely get by rocking the hair that comes out of our heads in the workplace, it’s not inconceivable some women simply don’t want to deal with raised brows when they walk in the boardroom with straightbacks — unless they’ve just come back from vacation in the Caribbean when it’s appropriate for everyone to return to work with braids…You know what I’m talking about.

Edge concerns aside, this topic has me questioning whether I should hang up my cornrow hangups and maybe give the style a try this summer, or I’m really “too old” for that. What’s your stance on cornrows in adulthood?

 

The post Serious Question: Are You Ever Too Old For Cornrows? appeared first on MadameNoire.

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