Watching a TV show or movie without any interruption.

Eating a meal you don't have to reheat first.

Eating a meal period.

Enjoying clothes shopping for yourself.

Getting in and out the car in seconds.

Your cute clutch or purse.

Doing anything alone ever again.

Scrolling through your phone when you want to (and any storage you may have left)

The post The Perks of Being Child-Free: Don’t Take The Following For Granted appeared first on MadameNoire.

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a micro-manager. When it comes to the 9-5’s I’ve held, anytime I sensed micro-management was occurring I instantly rebelled and turned into one of the memes that says, “Sure, boss.” Knowing damn well as soon as they sat behind their desk I would do what the hell I wanted, how the hell I wanted to. My feelings are if I’ve been employed in a position for so many years, at a certain point if you can’t trust me to pick a proper font or choose an appropriate company Facebook profile pic, why am I here? Micro-management to me is almost always a sign that someone is horrible at delegation which is pretty counter-productive to being a successful leader.  So you can imagine I was pretty salty whenwhile watching an episode of The Real, I realized I was micro-managing the hell out of my household and even worse, my husband.

On a recent “Girl Talk” segment the co-hosts of The Real spoke on the subject of who runs their households. First of all, anyone who has ever parented a toddler knows that any control you thought you had is an illusion and your household topples on a schedule of temper tantrums and bedtime turn up. But a long time ago before we had a two-year old, when I first met my husband I remember being attracted to him because I needed someone who could “check me”. Given the opportunity, I was the type of woman who would run circles around a man if he allowed me to. I’ll never forget the time I had a guy who was interested in me drive an hour and a half just so I could drop a mixtape and a love letter on my ex-boyfriend’s car. Can you say, “savage”?

Fast-forward ten years or so later and I’m married to the only man who can bring my flighty, creative and sometimes unfocused behind back to Earth with facts. So why do I find myself directing this man on everything from which bathroom cleaner to use to how to match our daughter’s hair bows with her socks? Co-host Adrienne Bailon hit me over the head with one simple answer:

“I think sometimes as women we micro-manage and we don’t allow them to try.”

Guilty as charged. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that I have control issues, but one of the first lessons I had to learn when it came to marriage and managing a household, is that you don’t always have to do it all, and that’s OK. I was raised by a mother who repeatedly reminded her daughters of the importance of having their own and not having to rely on a man to pay the bills, give you rides and definitely not to support your personal beauty routines like keeping your hair and nails done. So when I got married I was fiercely independent because to me being able to depend on someone was like giving up control. I remember during the early days of being a newlywed when if I was short on lunch money, I would eat Ramen for a week before asking my husband for a loan. And when it came to decisions like planning family vacays, or which restaurant we ate at, I held the belief that if things weren’t done my way, they weren’t done the right way. One day my husband’s frustrations came bubbling up to the surface. For what must have been the fifth or sixth time I snatched our crying newborn from his arms late one night, because a silly part of me believed only her mother could comfort her back to sleep.

“We can’t win the race because you never want to pass the baton,” he lashed at me before storming out the room. It was a comment he had told me once before while we were dating as I vented to him about always feeling like I had to save the day for my friends and family. It was then I realized that head of the household was something I only wanted to claim for tax returns. What I really wanted in a marriage was a partner. And true partnership is about building one another up and giving yourself a break. It’s about being confident in the fact that you can handle it on your own, but being comforted in the knowledge that you don’t have to. When you micro-manage a marriage you place subconscious doubt on the fact that the man you married can handle his own as well as take care of his family.

“I love to see my man lead. It’s sexy to me,” Tamera Mowry commented during the segment and it reminded me of one of the major reasons I was attracted to my husband in the first place. This is the same man that will pull back around through the Chic Fil A drive-thru because they shorted him three cents on change because as he would say, “It all adds up.” Meanwhile, my behind still pays the “Universal Service Fund” fee on my cell phone bill having no clue what it is. The best long term relationships are about combining your different strengths so you can tackle one challenge at a time together, even if that means that somedays you’re Batman and other days you’re Robin.

Most importantly I’ve reminded myself that my husband is a grown ass man. When it comes to paying bills and handling our responsibilities as adults, it’s something we were both well versed in long before we met each other. At this point in our lives we’re concerned about building our lives together based on trust and respect more than who “rules the roost”. But you’ll still catch me in the kitchen Sunday morning making breakfast because although his budgeting is on point, his blueberry pancakes…not so much.

Check out the “Who Rules The Roost?” clips from The Real below:

The post Have Several Seats: Are You Micro-Managing Your Marriage? appeared first on MadameNoire.

When it comes to weaves and hair extensions, the trends just keep coming. But there’s one that’s tried and true and continues to remain the gift that keeps on giving. Ever heard of clip-ins? Sure you have. From celebrities to everyday chicks walking to the subway, everyone has experimented with the craze that gives you the fullness of a weave without compromising your pockets or manipulating your tresses to the point of damage, which weaves can unfortunately cause whether you’re having it sewn in or glued.

“Whether you have straight or natural hair, clip-ins are amazing for adding volume and length,” celebrity stylist Monaé Everett recently gushed to Hype Hair. “They are also awesome for adding color and dimension – and can give your hair styles longevity and hold curls longer.

But just because it’s lower maintenance on your pockets and mane doesn’t mean you care for them any different. Everett also spoke to the site, detailing not only why they’re amazing but how to correctly maintain and manage them with four simple steps.

To begin, it’s all about keeping it clean. Monaé recommends washing the hair after every ten wears. “Just make sure to use a sulfate-free shampoo and conditioner,” she explaining, offering Créme of Nature Moisture & Shine Shampoo and Conditioner with Argan Oil as an example. After washing the hair, you should lay it flat to dry. “Avoid ruffling – or pushing up and down –  hair to avoid frizz and breakage. You want to keep hair in one direction,” she continued.

When it comes to styling, don’t get too crazy with the heat, ladies. “Maintain medium heat, try not to go over 360 degrees,” said Monaé. “Treat your hair as a delicate fabric.” And of course, when hitting the sheets, you always want to make sure you’re hair and your clip-ins (if you choose to sleep with them in) are protected. “Store your hair extensions in a satin bag to help avoid snagging, tearing or breakage and make sure that your extensions stay shiny and healthy.”

Sounds fool proof to us. Now go out into the world and flourish with your clip-ins, ladies!

The post Keep Your Clip-Ins In Check With These 4 Steps appeared first on MadameNoire.

Untimely deaths of legendary musical acts have been adding up at an unprecedented rate between the world’s loss of Prince, David Bowie and George Michael just last year.

It was reported on Saturday (Mar. 11) that Joni Sledge, a founding member of the group Sister Sledge (known for the1979 dance hit “We Are Family”), was found dead on Friday (Mar. 10) at her Phoenix home. Sledge’s publicist, Biff Warren, broke the unfortunate news with CNN on Saturday as well. Sledge was 60 years old.

We love you Joni. pic.twitter.com/6Zxj6gLoQh

— Sister Sledge (@SisterSledge_) March 12, 2017

“Yesterday, numbness fell upon our family. We are saddened to inform you that our dear sister, mother, aunt, niece and cousin, Joni passed away yesterday. Please pray for us as we weep for this loss. We do know that she is now eternally with Our Lord,” the band said Saturday in a statement posted on their website and Facebook page.

Joni’s death comes as a surprise to the Sledge family as she had not been ill prior, Warren also shared. As of now, the cause of death is unknown.

The post Joni Sledge Of Sister Sledge Passes Away At 60 appeared first on MadameNoire.

As if we couldn’t love Michelle Obama or Yara Shahidi enough, we heard this news.

During a recent interview with W Magazine, the 17-year-old Black-ish actress shared that while acting is her first love, she plans to attend college. As a high school senior, she’s applied to four colleges including Harvard and got the letter of recommendation of her dreams.

So, if you see where we’re going with this, the former First Lady penned her letter of recommendation and gave her a go get ’em, tiger” back-rub before Shahidi took her AP exams. Goals, right?

“She is very amazing and such a supporter, which is something very surreal to say,” Shahidi said. Similar to Malia Obama, Yara plans on taking a gap years as well before beginning her college career.

“I know when Malia Obama announced [she was deferring], she got a lot of slack, but I feel like what’s interesting is I know so many people that are deferring. It’s more than to just roam around or just sit down and stare at a wall, but it will also give me an opportunity to work,” she told People last October. “I’ve been working more than half of my life and that’s always been balanced with school and all of the other responsibilities, so to have a year to focus on work and to focus on specified interests will be nice before I pick a career and choose what I want to study and my life path.”

Yara’s college applications are now in, and she plans to double-major in African American studies and sociology. Well go ahead and slay, Ms. Shahidi!

The post Michelle Obama Wrote A College Letter Of Recommendation For Yara Shahidi appeared first on MadameNoire.

I spend most of my days teaching sexual health and preaching sex positivity to other people’s children.  I’d like to think I’m playing my part in arming young women with the tools they need to navigate their sexuality in a healthy way in a world where they’ve been told birth control is only their responsibility, and they should be subservient, independent, sexualized and innocent all at the same time. The messages their parents have been instilling in them range from, “Don’t have sex,” to “There’s condoms under the bathroom sink.” and I hope that I can serve as a happy medium that they can come to for open, honest communication about sex and relationships even if it’s only for two hours for three days in a school year.

But now that I have my own daughter, things are different. Even though she’s only two I’m finding myself rehearsing these same conversations I seem to have so easily with other peoples’ daughters. I’m contemplating my reactions to questions and behavior that may catch me off guard in the future so she’ll still feel comfortable coming to me no matter how awkward or embarrassing the situation may seem. Like I tell my students, my hope is that she can come to me first before the “Condom Lady”, but I understand that isn’t always possible. I don’t want to be the mom shutting down any conversation that even hints at leading us down Sexual Development Drive or spazzing anytime she mentions what may be happening in her bathing suit area. By age 13 I’m sure my daughter will be able to recite the differences between Paragard and Mirena like the Pledge of Allegiance. But that’s not what I’m worried about. What worries me is how to teach her to balance sex positivity with common sense.

I may not want my daughter to be busting it open for the Gram like Amber Rose, but I want her to be able to own and acknowledge her sexual identity. I feel like the more she’s in tune with who she is as a sexual being the easier it will be for her to identify her values and boundaries and the less of a big deal sex will be. But I also fear wiping my trembling daughter’s tears away in the middle of my living room much like Anika Noni Roses’s character had to in a recent episode of BET’s The Quad. I don’t want her to have to wonder how she’ll ever regain her sense of safety and her sense of self. I don’t ever want to have to tell my baby everything will be OK when I secretly don’t know if that’s true.

The “Quicksand” episode commented on rape culture on college campus when a character named Sydney (played by Jazz Raycole) is the victim of sexual assault of which the whole campus learns about through surveillance video posted online. Throughout the episode it’s clear that the idea of consent takes on multiple meaning among students and staff alike, some thinking what they’re watching is just rough, drunken sex between coeds and others saying she is clearly being assaulted. The perpetrator, starting quarterback of the GAMU Mountaincats, Terrence (played by Kevin Savage) even seems confused himself about the encounter. He too had been drinking and doesn’t seem to be aware that something is off until he carries Sydney from the scene of the incident and she flips out when he drops her off at a nearby dorm.

Until this point, Sydney is portrayed as sassy but smart. She prances around campus trying to shake the innocent image she feels she’s been force to uphold as GAMU President, Dr. Eva Fletcher’s (played by Rose) daughter.  She wears short skirts and high heels to class, flirts with anything with facial hair and even engages in a game of strip poker in one of the first episodes. I’m sure the script was written in such a way to make viewers question their own bias and assumptions and none of these traits meant that she deserved to be violated in any way. So why do I still want to tell my daughter to avoid situations where she’s overly intoxicated around men? Why do I still want to tell her that going to visit a man at 2:00 in the morning means he’ll probably expect her to be bringing more than popcorn and her Netflix password?  Why do I want to tell her that what she wears doesn’t determine whether or not she wants to have sex, but I’d still be more comfortable if she wore a track suit instead of a short skirt to the party? Is advice like this common sense or is it contradictory to my sermons on sexual empowerment and death to slut-shaming?  How do I teach her to be sex positive in a world where men still seem to have the final say most days on exactly what that looks like?

None of these answers are easy but what I do know is that these conversations shouldn’t only be taking place between mothers, fathers and daughters. Teach your sons about what consent looks and sounds like and that anything but a clear yes is a no. Teach your sons that just because a woman consents to sex doesn’t mean she consents to having it recorded and furthermore even if she does consent to being recorded, it’s not with the expectation that her future actions will be manipulated by that recording. Be honest and teach them that at least for now their patriarchy gives them power and that power should be invested into uplifting women, from the Amber Roses of the world to the Amal Clooneys, because no matter what a woman chooses to do with her body it’s still HER choice and that choice should be respected.

I think the more those types of conversations start happening the sooner mothers like me will feel more confident telling our daughters that the short skirt they want to wear to the party is cute and not an invitation for foreplay. To be clear I still want to raise my daughter to practice self-respect, but I want whatever she wears to be because she wants to and not because she thinks she needs to cover up because a man can’t exercise self-control. Because if telling my daughter that she shouldn’t have too much to drink whenever she’s in the presence of testosterone so she won’t get raped is considered common sense, then so should having a conversation with your son about not being a rapist.

See Anika Noni Rose and Jazz Raycole’s message about sexual violence below:

Image via Instagram

Toya Sharee is a community health educator and parenting education coordinator who has a  passion for helping  young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health.  She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

The post Sex Positivity and Common Sense: Raising My Daughter in a Rape Cultured World appeared first on MadameNoire.

I could never get into male strippers.  Maybe I’m more of a traditional girl or maybe there’s a part of me that thinks stereotypes aren’t always that bad, but I need my man with dirt under his fingernails, cussing at the football game with beer in his left hand and the remote in the other. Dancing around in little draws and popping his behind, no matter how muscular it may be does not make feel some type of way. Looking at a man flex his pelvis in some leather chaps dries my reproductive parts right on up, so I knew I wouldn’t be checking for the latest trend that is the “Dudeoir Photo”. But this spin on the popular “boudoir photo” may be meant to make you laugh more then lust.

Many would credit photographer Masika May with the “Dudeoir Photo” a trend that takes a man’s sense of humor and makes it sexy…literally. You’re probably familiar with its female counterpart the “boudoir photo” in which a woman takes pictures for her partner usually in sexy lingerie and suggestive poses that are meant to serve as sources for sexual inspiration when she may not be in the room. I actually think they’re pretty cheesy too actually. Mostly because I believe sex that’s natural and not forced or contrived is the sexiest.

What’s funny about May’s photos is how much they highlight the clichéd and ridiculous sexual standards that are often placed on women. The photos feature men with hairy beer bellies pouring buckets of soapy water over them ”bikini car wash” style or bending over an office desk in tighty whities like a warped naughty secretary porn scene. Most days my husband can find me in a headscarf and my furry Fenty slides scrubbing washable marker from our toddler’s palms. So the idea of him resorting to photo of me in something black and sheer sucking on an ice cube is such a departure from what our sex life realistically looks like. While the “Dudeoir Photo” serves as a reminder that we may be doing the most when it comes to what our expectations of sex look like in a long term relationship, it also shows us that headscarves and tighty whities can be sexy too. Because just because your bedroom may not look like a scene from 50 Shades doesn’t mean you and your partner aren’t getting it on and poppin’.

A piece on SheKnows highlighting May’s work also points out that the “Dudeoir Photo” reminds us that we don’t have to always take sex so seriously:

“It also provides an opportunity to have a good laugh at your own expense. Humor has an important function in marriage, and there’s even science that points to couples who can have a good laugh at themselves having a better shot at longevity than their sourpuss counterparts.”

“Boudoir and Dudeoir both come down to sex and sexuality eventually — wanting it, sharing it, alluding to it or finding empowerment in it. But even if you do think sex is sacred, you have to admit that it’s also freaking hilarious. The sounds, the weird things you say in the heat of the moment, the struggle to get your socks off… and yes, even the come-hither eyes.”

When you put it that way, I have to admit that the times I think my husband is sexiest is not when he’s glistening straight from the shower or any other Trey Songz video inspired moments. But I love to see him handle business whether he’s troubleshooting for his customers or talking numbers with his marketing manager. I love to see him take care of his parents, like the time he trapped a squirrel that was living in their ceiling a whole summer and nearly drove them insane.  I love to see him unbraiding our daughter’s hair because he knows I have to write for a website and I won’t have time. When it comes to relationships that sweaty six-pack and the way he bites his bottom lip when he’s flirting may be what make your head turn and get you hot and bothered at first but in the long-term what you really want is someone who makes you laugh and someone who can make a meaningful moment out of a menial task.

If me and my husband want a good laugh, we’ll pass on the “Dudeoir Photo” and just watch all nine seasons of The Office for the 37^th times, but if you want to take a look and have a good laugh you can check out May’s work here.

Image via Instagram

Toya Sharee is a community health educator and parenting education coordinator who has a  passion for helping  young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health.  She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

The post Is the “Dudeoir Photo” Sexy or Doing the Most? appeared first on MadameNoire.

Back in October, we shared the intense workout regimen of fitness guru Massy Arias with you. At the time, she was four months pregnant and honestly didn’t look like she was carrying anything other than a light bloat. Her abs were still pretty pronounced, muscles still strong, and she was not slowing down when it came to finding the time and energy to exercise. But as the months went on, a bump did get bigger, and as it did, she nevertheless continued to be active:

Arias continued to eat healthy and train in ways that were safe for her body. What worked for her and the intensity at which it did probably wouldn’t work for most of us. Arias’s body was quite conditioned before pregnancy. We’re talking years of being physically fit after putting in consistent work:

On February 28, Arias finally gave birth to her daughter, her first child, named Indira Sarai. She was able to bring the little one into the world through a natural water birth at home with fiancé Stefan Williams:

Nine days after giving birth, Arias shared her first postpartum picture on social media, and the snapback is quite insane. As you can see, the hard work she put in before baby and during pregnancy, as well as eating quite clean, paid off royally. But Arias wasn’t trying to show off, but rather, continue to share her health and fitness journey with followers, as she’s done for years. She put it best when saying, “This post isn’t intended to set any expectations or to be negative. We have all different journeys”:

She did note in that before and after picture that she isn’t rushing to get back in the gym, as she needs to heal and take care of little Indira. Then again, she clearly doesn’t need to rush. She put in enough work leading up to this major moment that she can just sit back and enjoy motherhood — abs on fleek. But for fitness fiends, time off from the gym can only last but so long. Talk about inspiring!

The post Fitness Guru Massy Arias Proves What Clean Eating, Consistent Workouts Can Do In 9-Day Postpartum Pic appeared first on MadameNoire.

Ever since Gabourey Sidibe made her acting debut as Precious in the Academy Award-nominated film of the same name, her size has been a consistent topic of conversation. And if you ever wondered, it has also played a big part in the types of roles and characters she’s been offered over the years.

Roles following that opportunity were often small (she was great in Yelling to the Sky though), including Caribbean housekeeper Odessa in Tower Heist and literally the same type of character, this time a South African housekeeper, in The Brothers Grimsby. But there have also been some more positive and colorful roles, including Queenie/Regina Ross in multiple seasons of FX’s hit American Horror Story, Andrea on Showtime’s The Big C, Denise on Hulu’s Difficult People, and, of course, Becky on Fox’s Empire. 

She is one who can admit that it’s been a rollercoaster, as it is for many Black actresses in Hollywood. But her process to find the right work is especially difficult considering that some screenwriters put a lot of negative emphasis on her size in the characters they put together for her.

“I get a lot of scripts and offers where someone has to make mention of my body immediately,” Sidibe said when speaking at Glamour’s Powered by Women initiative panel at SXSW this past weekend. The title of the panel’s conversation was “The Female Lens: Creating Change Beyond the Bubble,” and it was documented by People.com. “Someone wrote a script with me in mind and the first time someone other than my character was talking about my character, they say ‘this hippo’’or ‘this elephant.'”

She continued, “I’m like, ‘Are you serious? You wrote something for me and you’re calling me a hippo.’ This is my body. This has been my body my entire life, and in my life my friends and my colleagues are not constantly talking about my body. But in most of my roles, somebody has to make mention of it.”

As for the way a lot of writers in Hollywood portray Black women, Sidibe isn’t crazy about that either.

“I have had to read plenty of lines and words for my black a– that was written by a white man,” she said. “Not to say that it is not good. There is a lot that you don’t know, really. Depending on the work, I have had to check the honesty and cater it to me as a black woman. It is the actor’s job to honesty-check it.”

She continued, “Yes, I will pull out my black card and slap someone in the face with it.”

Image via Instagram 

The post Gabby Sidibe Gets Too Many Scripts “Where Someone Has To Make Mention Of My Body Immediately” appeared first on MadameNoire.

GET OUT

— Kourtney Kardashian (@kourtneykardash) March 10, 2017

when the messenger does not realize they are the message RT @kourtneykardash: GET OUT

— unpforgettable pfire (@firefire100) March 11, 2017

@kourtneykardash now Ik damn well you didn't with the way yo family set up pic.twitter.com/pdn1woUiD1

— The Finnese Kid (@SmurfDAkid) March 10, 2017

@moze_ky Its too late.

— Jessica Sade (@FaithlessCarmen) March 12, 2017

.@kourtneykardash

@kourtneykardash pic.twitter.com/h88jWd0Zfj

— Khadine (@Kuh_dean) March 11, 2017

="https://t.co/unQIeNWTj8">pic.twitter.com/unQIeNWTj8 — Kenny (@PhillyCustoms) March 11, 2017

@kourtneykardash Yeah and this is why Kanye is in the sunken place now

— cutie (@YKISDR) March 12, 2017

@kourtneykardash pic.twitter.com/3ONtpKcD0a

— AerialNichelle (@A1LuVs) March 10, 2017

@kourtneykardash but the movie was about yalls coven pic.twitter.com/eyUKne4WJ6

— KAT (@KatheryneCool) March 11, 2017

@kourtneykardash pic.twitter.com/Co6WsgsAIc

— BayouGal (@bayougal86) March 11, 2017

@kourtneykardash the only difference is kris got 5 girls to send out and recruit

— Drea (@DreaKiss_) March 11, 2017

RT @kourtneykardash: GET OUT pic.twitter.com/VUm73lo1pc

— Beige Sager (@PeterPerfect09) March 11, 2017

@kourtneykardash Tristan, Kanye, Tyga!! GET OUT!! pic.twitter.com/BXUP5vkK2L

— shania uniqué (@sheyonceeee) March 13, 2017

The post What Happened When Kourtney Kardashian Tweeted “Get Out”? appeared first on MadameNoire.

This past weekend, 100 students from across the country were invited to Orlando, Florida, for an all-expenses paid experience of true Disney magic. Not just the kind of magic that’s found in the resort’s many theme parks, the kind that comes from planting the seed of possibility in a child’s mind and giving them the tools to make their dreams a reality.

The event is known as the Disney Dreamers Academy and this was the 10th such year bright high school students with aspirations most of us didn’t even have the capacity to dream when we were their age spent four days in the Florida sun learning how to bring their plans of starting businesses, becoming journalists, and running non-profits to fruition. At the same time, their parents were being taught how to support their dreamers and find the courage to pursue dreams of their own that they may have put off to raise their child.

The lessons came from entertainers like Steve Harvey and his daughters Karli and Brandi, Yolanda Adams, Kim Fields, and Cam Newton; as well as entrepreneurs like Money Maven Patrice Washington, Transformational Coach Lisa Nichols, 18-year-old Jaylen Bledsoe, CEO, President, and Founder of the $3.5 million company Bledsoe Technologies, LLC, Christopher Gray, who won $1.3 million in college scholarships and is Founder & CEO of Scholly, an app that has helped students raise $70 million in scholarship money to date, and Dreamers Academy Alumnus Princeton Parker who is now a member of the Disney team.

It was hard not to wish you could have a do-over watching an albino teen stand up to his bullies in a moving spoken word piece, or see a jewelry maker turning her mentors into customers right on the spot, and hearing phenomenal plans to truly change the world. But doing so would’ve gone against the most basic principle of the Dreamers Academy which is that anyone can dream. And so, in the spirit of that mantra, here are 9 takeaways to inspire the adult dreamer in you.

• “Nothing is bigger than your dream.” – Steve Harvey

• “No one gets handed a dream. It starts with how you see yourself.” — Mikki Taylor

#ddaDisney #DDAblue #SMC43 @IAmMikkiTaylor pic.twitter.com/LnjAQunChA

— Philip Wah (@philipwah3) March 12, 2017

• “When I’m not operating in my gifts, when I’m not living out my purpose, when [my daughter] doesn’t get to see me be her first example of a woman who can maintain a family and still go out and serve as she was called to serve then I’m doing her a disservice because I’m telling her that she can’t do it and she has to choose.” –Patrice Washington

• “A Conviction without inconvenience is just a great idea.” — Lisa Nichols

• “If the people around you don’t get your vision, it’s because God didn’t give your vision to them.” — Lisa Nichols

• “People only see your success…If you work for someone else and you haven’t been fired or your company doesn’t have zero in the bank, you’re still moving, you’re still in the running…When you’re getting those ‘nos’ recognize that that’s a part of the grind; that’s a part of entrepreneurship.” –Christopher Gray

• “When someone tells you no, work so hard you make them wish they would’ve said yes.” — Jaylen Bledsoe

• “We are sending the wrong message with these filtered lives. Do not judge your life and success by someone else’s timeline and someone else’s success.” — T.J. Holmes

• “Don’t get caught up on the fact that something’s already been done. It hasn’t been done by you.” — Kim Fields

The post “Nothing Is Bigger Than Your Dream” And Other Lessons For Adults From Disney’s Dreamers Academy appeared first on MadameNoire.

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You would have to search for quite a bit to find a sane, conscious Black person who every fully believed the narrative put forth by the police about Mike Brown. One, most of us are already skeptical of the police. And we know that when a White officer is responsible for killing a Black child or man, the police will find a way to paint that man as the villain in his own death.

In Mike Brown’s case, we were told that because he robbed the convenient store, former officer Darren Wilson had every right to pursue him walking down the street, ultimately taking his life.

Now, footage from a new documentary called Stranger Fruit, seems to present the evidence to refute that story. Footage of Mike Brown exchanging what the film director Jason Pollock believes is marijuana.

The film, which debuted at South by Southwest this weekend, contains video that shows Brown did not rob the store but returned to retrieve cigarillos from the clerks who he had interacted with hours before he was killed.

“This is a shady store. We’ve asked a lot of people in this community. You can buy weed at the store,” Pollock said.

Pollock said he learned of the footage from a police report that mentioned video from 1:13 a.m. on the day of Brown’s death.

“What this video shows is that (police) lied to the world about what happened. They wanted to make Mike look bad, so they put out half a video to destroy his character in his death.”

Brown’s father said the video shows that his son was not in the wrong and believes the video warrants the case being reopened.

Police believe the new footage is irrelevant to the investigation and say that

Wilson stopped Brown for walking in the street, not for robbery.

If that was the case, what was the purpose of releasing any surveillance video or sending out information that there might have been a possible robbery, or hell gunning him down in the middle of the street.

Brown’s father believes that the police officers’ dishonesty is what eventually led to the riots in the city.

“Maybe the city of Ferguson wouldn’t have gotten tore up like that,” Michael Brown Sr. said. “It’s almost like they asked for it, if you ask me, for not keeping no truth in there.”

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post New Mike Brown Surveillance Video Surfaces Refuting The Story Cops Told appeared first on MadameNoire.

We all know that KeKe Wyatt can sing (make that sang), but did you know that she can also act? Wyatt is currently starring on the Second Season of Bounce TV’s hit series, Saints & Sinners, which airs on Sunday nights, making her debut on last night’s episode. Not to mention that she has her own Being episode airing on BET next month. Those are just a few of the many things the talented singer and songwriter is busy with these days. Lucky for us, she made time to talk to us about how she came to be on the show, misrepresentations of her on reality TV, why she’s tired of people putting her in a box musically due to those duets with Avant, and how she juggles everything as a wife and mother to eight kids.

MadameNoire: How did you end up getting a part on Saints & Sinners? 

KeKe Wyatt: I did a movie, a stage movie before, and it was called “In God’s Hands.” It was something fun that I’d never done before. I did that and so the same people, plus Russ Parr, the director of the show who I’ve been knowing forever, they were like, “KeKe we want you to play David Banner’s wife on the show.” Her name is Sister Green, and he’s the new pastor, so I play his wife on there. That’s pretty much it. It’s not a lot yet, but it’s still enough. It’s scripted, and I love the fact that it’s scripted instead of reality TV all of the time. I like the whole character thing. It’s cute.

MN: Do you ever miss doing reality TV like you did with R&B Divas?

KW: No, I don’t miss it at all. I am currently working on my own show. The good thing with that is that I can control what gets put out there and what doesn’t. So I’m happy about that. I’m definitely going to be one of the executive producers so that I can make sure that the right messages are being put out there instead of having me looking like a pyschopath. I can’t do that anymore. I’m dead serious. I can’t keep allowing these people to put my name out there like that. At the end of the day, I’m still Keke Wyatt and I’m a mother and wife and woman of God. I can’t have people portraying me as someone who flies off of the wall. That’s not my personality. I will fly off of the wall if you piss me off, but I’m not pissed off every day. I’m not pissed off every time. I’m happy and I have a very exciting, fulfilled life. So I don’t have a reason to be mad all of the time. I can’t wait for people to see what’s really going on in my life and to be like, “Dang, she’s a really happy person!” I’m quirky, giggly, silly — I ain’t all of that mess. I’m happy about my life now. I have so much to be grateful for, shoot, ain’t nobody got time to be mad all of the time.

MN: What made you want to do an entire cover album with KeKe Covers?

KW: My fans kept saying, Oh my God, I hear it on YouTube, but I want to be able to play it in my car, I want to be able to play it everywhere. So Michael Jamar, of course, is the brains behind everything. If he could literally, physically put me on a shelf and film me [laughs]. I’m so serious. So anytime he hears an opportunity to do something he says, “Shoot, you better go ‘head and do that!” So that’s how that came about.

MN: I know that you said that, musically, you feel like people put you in a box because of your collaborations with Avant. Why is that? 

KW: Girl, I’m so sick of that. I’m tired of that. Oh my God. I’m so sick of that and don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad music. Not at all. It’s wonderful music. But at the same time, I try to tell people, that’s not my sound. They’re like, “Then what sound is it?” I’m like, that’s the Keke & Avant sound, but that’s not me at all. I’m getting there slowly and surely. I’m in the studio now, working on what I really want people to hear.

MN: So when you talked about your sound in the past, you described it as a gumbo due to all of your influences. Who got you into country and R&B and all of the things that make up this gumbo sound? 

KW: It’s all in my head. I grew up a little biracial girl smack in the middle of Indiana and Kentucky. You get fed all of these different sounds. My mother and her brothers, they still sing in country bars now. It’s nine of them, so her brothers, they all get together. I grew up hearing that all my life. Then the gospel with my dad. As I got older, then I heard the R&B and hip-hop and pop. I love it all and think it’s all amazing and it all comes together in my music somehow.

MN: When did you first realize that you could really sing? 

KW: When I was two. I was kind of told that I could sing by my granny. She was so surprised it was funny, as if someone threw a nickel at her forehead. She was like, “Oh my God!” I didn’t know. I was just harmonizing with her and I didn’t even know. She called my mom and said, “Oh my God, Lorna, did you know this girl could sing?”

MN: Would you collaborate with your mom on a song? 

KW: Hands down, yes. Absolutely. She’s too busy for me, though.

MN: And based on your recent album, do you have a favorite song or two that you love to cover? 

KW: It would have to be “Diamonds and Pearls” and I love “Tennessee Whiskey.” “Tennessee Whiskey is more country and one of my favorite artists [Chris Stapleton] sings that song. And then Prince’s “Diamonds and Pearls” because I feel like we match. He was very musically inclined and he could play a lot of instruments and so can I. Plus, the song is just dope.

MN: With all of the work you’re doing musically and on television, how do you balance that with being a wife and mother of a large family? 

KW: I don’t know, it’s kind of a thing where you have to do it so you just make it happen no matter what. Of course, my husband is a great dad so I have his support and help. And then, my family, my mom and my brother, they help me out a lot. It’s eight [including a child from Michael’s previous relationship] of them, so I have three real big ones and four little ones. The big ones help with the little ones a lot. My oldest is 16, he’ll turn 17 this month. And then Rahjah, he just turned 14 last week. And Kayla, she’s 13. So I have three teenagers who can really help out. We go to the mall, I say, “Keyver you have such and such, Rahjah, you got such and such,” and that’s just how we do.

Image via WENN

The post “That’s Not My Sound”: KeKe Wyatt Is “So Sick” Of Being Defined Musically By Avant Duets appeared first on MadameNoire.

Long hair is one of those universal symbols of beauty women of all races battle with, but no matter how long Black women’s hair gets, texture can still be a sore spot for many of us.

It was for Gabrielle Union who shared a familiar tale about hair envy as a child in an essay on Glamour.com today.

“When I was little, it felt like my hair was magic,” she wrote. “It was the 1970s, and I had braided cornrows—now I’d call them Venus and Serena braids—with beads at the bottom. My hair made noise, and I thought I was really cool.

“And then around age eight, I started noticing that there was this girl, this blond girl, with two super long blond ponytails, and everyone was, like, gagging over these ponytails. I wanted that attention. I wanted to be seen too. I associated it with the hair, and I definitely didn’t have that hair. My mom thought I was too young for relaxers, but I wore her down and she took me to my cousin’s salon to get my first relaxer.”

Like many Black girls, that relaxer experiment didn’t exactly work out for young Gabby. And she made matters worse with her constant experiments. “I once even dipped my bangs in a bowl of hydrogen peroxide,” she confessed. “I never quite got what I was looking for, but I damaged my hair…a lot.”

And the damage didn’t stop when the then-UCLA student entered the world of acting. In fact, “a whole new set of hair problems showed up,” she explained.

“Hairstylists used Aqua Net–like hairspray with crazy amounts of alcohol, which caused chunks of my hair to literally come off on a styling tool. I was like a guinea pig on set, and I didn’t yet have enough power to request a stylist who I actually wanted to touch my hair.”

This led the young beauty to begin wearing wigs and weaves which may have protected her strands, but they did a number on her self-esteem. “The immediate difference in the amount of attention I got was palpable,” she wrote. “I felt like the longer my hair, the more attractive I was in the audition rooms.”

It wasn’t until she was in her 30s that Gabby “became more invested in making sure the hair was right for the character, not just feeding my own low self-esteem.” And that’s the woman whom she says we see before us today. The woman who realized “I was never going to have a really great hair day if I didn’t do the work on myself internally to figure out what makes me happy.”

Turns out, it’s variety that truly makes the Being Mary Jane star and new hair entrepreneur happy.

“I’ve finally gotten to a place of self-acceptance and recognizing that my natural hair is beautiful—and so is whatever weave I may wear. I’m perfectly happy rocking an Afro puff, my French braids, Senegalese twists, a faux-hawk, or an ombré wig, or heat-styling my natural hair with extensions…And that makes me a happy person in my life.”

Check out her whole essay here.

The post Gabrielle Union Has Finally Gotten Over Feeling Like “The Longer My Hair, The More Attractive I Was” appeared first on MadameNoire.

Beyoncé

Kelly Rowland

Lee Daniels

Michelle Obama

Oprah Winfrey

Usher

Taraji P. Henson

Tia Mowry

Kerry Washington

Turns out this might be the year I fall in love with @soulcycle ❤️

— kerry washington (@kerrywashington) January 30, 2016

LaLa Anthony

The post 10 Black Stars Who Put The “Soul” In SoulCycle As Class Regulars appeared first on MadameNoire.

Sanaa Lathan — stunning right?

While promoting her new Fox drama Shots Fired on The Breakfast Club, Lathan responded to rumors that were allegedly out there about the star being pregnant. She shut them down quickly by stating that what people thought was a baby bump in pictures was nothing but a food baby. As jarring as such assumptions can be, Lathan isn’t affected by them because as she put it, she’s never been a skinny girl, and she’s totally fine with that.

“That was just a meal,” Lathan said, laughing. “You know what? I’m not a skinny girl, never have been a skinny girl. I like to eat. And I’m not going to starve myself. I’m going to live my life. Sometimes they get a bad angle and the blogs are the blogs. People, they like a story for a minute.”

Still she noted that such questions or comments are “annoying” as “no one likes to be called, you know, fat.” But when asked by Charlamagne tha God if such things cause her to curb meals or go hard in the gym in response, Lathan emphatically said no. Instead, she just continues to build up a thicker skin.

“I don’t starve myself ever,” she said. “The thing is, being in this business is such a blessing, but all ya’ll gotta know that it is no joke. The business is hard because all eyes are on you. Everybody’s a critic. As a woman, now it’s like on-duty, off-duty, every picture in the age of social media. I mean, you know. So you have to develop a steel exterior. You have to get to the point where sh-t, you just laugh at sh-t and it just rolls off of you.”

Check out her comments about not being a skinny girl in the industry at the 16:00 mark. She also talks about race and if more opportunities really are becoming available for Black actors and actresses. Check it:

Image via WENN 

The post “I Like To Eat”: Sanaa Lathan On Not Being A “Skinny Girl” In Hollywood appeared first on MadameNoire.

R&B singer Kehlani, known for tracks like “CRZY” and “The Way,” has announced to fans that she’s going to have to cancel and reschedule the remaining dates of her SweetSexySavage World Tour for now because she needs to have emergency surgery. That surgery is needed to take care of a hernia she’s had for quite some time. When people think of hernias, they often think of individuals above a certain age dealing with them, but it’s more common than you might think.

In an interview with The Fader in 2015, the singer spoke about a less than positive outlook she used to have about her body as a kid. It was a “naturally muscular build” and an umbilical hernia that caused her to want to stay covered up.

Nowadays, of course, Kehlani is always showing off her incredibly toned six-pack, whether performing on stage or in videos. But what you may not have noticed while looking at those abs was the umbilical hernia right above her belly button. It’s given the singer enough trouble as of late that she needs to take a break to deal with it. She announced the news on Instagram with an image of the hernia protruding during a performance:

According to PEOPLE, it’s unclear when the singer will be cleared to hit the stage again, but her tour, which started last month, was set to end in June in California.

For those who were worried about getting their money back, Kehlani ensured that it would happen.

yes we will refund and reschedule, taking care of this is most important right now. I love you all so much. thank you for everything.

— Kehlani (@Kehlani) March 14, 2017

As for umbilical hernias, according to The Mayo Clinic, while they are most common in babies (and often close before the age of four), they can appear in adulthood. They form when part of the intestine protrudes through the umbilical opening of the ab muscles. They’re often harmless, but complications can arise (including the possibility of feeling strong pain, vomiting, obstruction of the intestines and the hernia bulge becoming tender, discolored or swollen), and in Kehlani’s case, can require surgery.

Interesting enough, in terms of children, there is a slight increased risk of Black infants having umbilical hernias, as well as premature infants who are born at a low weight. In terms of adults, it’s more common in women. Issues like being overweight, having fluid in the abdominal cavity, as well as previous abdominal surgery and going through chronic peritoneal dialysis (treatment for kidney failure) can cause this type of hernia. The more you know…

Image via Splash 

The post Singer Kehlani Cancels Tour Dates To Have “Sudden Unexpected Surgery” On Umbilical Hernia appeared first on MadameNoire.

Like many, I was on cloud nine when I heard about the heavy sentence a white supremacist couple got in Georgia at the beginning of the month. Kayla Norton and Jose “Joe” Torres (I never heard of a white supremacist named Jose by the way, talk about self-hate) got a combined 19 years behind bars for pulling a gun on a bunch of little Black kids at an 8-year-old’s birthday party.

So you mean two white people got sentenced to nearly 20 years in prison in the South by a white judge when there wasn’t even a murder involved? At a time when hate crimes are surging across the country, and protection laws are being rolled back for transgender students, this verdict sends a very strong message of intolerance for intolerance.

It’s amazing — maybe a little too amazing in #45’s America. As a matter of fact, is it even true? I mean, fake news is real nowadays.

I decide to call my mom. She lives in Douglasville where the assault and sentencing reportedly took place. If the story’s true she’ll know because the place is so small if you drive one mile you’re in another county.

“Beau really gave it to them,” says my mom.

Not only was the story true, she actually knows the Honorable Judge William “Beau” McClain who presided over the case. Turns out, he’s a volunteer at a pantry that she and some of her senior buddies frequent.

“He’s always there praying with people, helping them get what they need…he’s so helpful and available you wouldn’t even know that he’s a judge. I actually thought that he had retired until I saw him on TV regarding this case,” she says.

When I ask if she was surprised by the heavy sentences handed down to 25-year-old Norton and 26-year-old Torres, she says no.

“Beau is known for being a ‘hanging judge.’ You do the crime, you do the time. But, he’s also known for being fair. A few years ago, he sent a Black teen to prison for life without parole for killing another Black teen. Some said it was too tough a sentence, but not if you’re the mom of the dead teen.”

Sounds like Beau’s a real community man.

Honesty, though, when it comes to fairness and judges I’m skeptical. Blacks are incarcerated 5.1 times more than whites and it’s not because we’re doing the most crime. We all know the judicial system is broken. Just watch Ava DuVernay’s documentary 13th and get a serious education. But I will say that I’m encouraged by Judge Beau because the truth is that justice was served in this case and the next time two racists want to start pulling out guns and threatening little Black kids and their parents they will have to think twice. At least, in Douglasville, Georgia.

Erickka Sy Savané is a freelance writer and married mom of two young girls. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

The post Is Douglasville, Georgia America’s New Safe Haven For Blacks? appeared first on MadameNoire.

🙏🏾

A post shared by Antonia Wright (@toyawright) on Oct 17, 2016 at 8:45am PDT

In the summer of last year, we were sad to report that Toya Wright lost not one but two of her brothers in New Orleans when they were shot multiple times and killed inside a car. The two were pronounced dead on the scene.

At the time, police weren’t releasing any information about potential suspects but that changed on Thursday, March 9 when 31-year-old Antoine Edwards as arrested on two counts of second-degree murder in connection with the deaths of Joshua and Ryan “Rudy” Johnson.

According to the arrest warrant affidavit, NOPD homicide detective Theo Kent said multiple tipsters told investigators that a man known as “Toine” or “Tweezy” was responsible for the killings. Toine, in at least one instance admitted to the shooting to others.

Several witnesses picked his photo out from lineups.

Joshua and Rudy were 31 and 24-years-old respectively at the time of their death.

TMZ reached out to Toya to get her thoughts on the recent arrest.

“All we want is justice for my brothers. We thank everyone for their prayers and support.”

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post Man Arrested In Connection With The Murders Of Toya Wright’s Brothers appeared first on MadameNoire.