Quantcast
Channel: how to please a man – MadameNoire
Viewing all 1752 articles
Browse latest View live

Donald Glover To Play Simba In Disney’s Upcoming Live-Action ‘Lion King’

$
0
0

Donald Glover is on a roll!

After debuting his highly-anticipated FX series, Atlanta, to rave reviews, critical acclaim and two Golden Globe awards, the multi-hyphenate is already gearing up for yet another major role in addition to playing a young Lando Calrissian in the upcoming Han Solo Star Wars stand-alone film.

It was recently announced that Glover has been cast in an upcoming reboot of our all-time favorite Disney animated movie, The Lion King. According to CNN, the actor/director/rapper will lend his voice to the live-action remake of the as Simba, alongside James Earl Jones who is reprising his role as Mufasa.

The news first broke from director Jon Favreau, who tweeted a picture of Glover with a caption referencing “Lion King” tune, “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King.”

As of now, there are no further details on the production or a slated release date. However, we’re certainly proud of Donald Glover and all of his success.

The post Donald Glover To Play Simba In Disney’s Upcoming Live-Action ‘Lion King’ appeared first on MadameNoire.


The Fashion World Came Together To Take A Stand On Immigration

$
0
0

This season’s New York Fashion Week was certainly one for the books with themes of politics and protest reigning supreme. Although the week of fashion has come and gone, W Magazine is continuing the discussion of what our country has experienced with Trump in office thus far.

In a new video, 81 of the fashion industry’s biggest and brightest stars come together, declaring,  “I am an immigrant” in direct opposition to Trump’s recent executive order banning refugees and travel from seven Muslim-majority nations. There’s designer Diane von Furstenburg, model Jourdan Dunn and fashion veteran Bethann Hardison, among many others. The clip concludes with a lingering shot on von Furstenberg, who says “I am immigrant. And America was very good to me.”

While we certainly enjoyed the fact that the fashion industry stood together in solidarity for this issue, we can’t help but to wonder why it seems so hard for individuals of that realm to discuss inclusiveness when it comes to race and body type.

Press play and watch the powerful clip above.

The post The Fashion World Came Together To Take A Stand On Immigration appeared first on MadameNoire.

How A Morehouse Graduate Found His Niche Selling Hair Extensions

$
0
0

In 2009, Nicholas Graham founded Got Virgin, a hair extension, company with no real idea how far his initial investment would take him. The Morehouse pre-law graduate had always been an entrepreneur, both owning and operating several of his own businesses, but the fast rising market of extensions in his community he had never truly explored sparked an idea.

“I wanted to provide women with the best quality hair you could find on the market,” Graham said.  “I also wanted to have the most competitive price.” Before he knew it, he had done just that all while creating a trusted and prosperous brand.

Today, Graham’s Got Virgin is proudly owned and operated in Atlanta, Georgia with a showroom where locals can book and appointment and have their mane and extensions primped and pampered. Madame Noire got the opportunity to chat with Graham about his long and prosperous trek from humble beginnings, the challenges that he’s faced through his journey of entrepreneurism, advice for those interested in stepping foot in the industry and more.

Madame Noire: What’s your background and how would you describe what you do?
I’m originally from Atlanta, Georgia, born and raised.  I graduated from Westlake high school and then went on to Morehouse college for pre-law but I have always been an entrepreneur. I’ve had several businesses that I’ve owned and operated since college that were successful but when I got into the hair business in 2009 I found something that I really enjoyed selling. To create the quality of hair we carry I actually travel back & forth to India which I’ve been to over 40 times over the years to oversee the production of our human hair that we sell here in the US via our online store GotVirgin.com

How would you describe your journey of becoming a business owner?
It’s been a journey of ups and downs and learning experiences. It’s been about perseverance, too, and realizing that the corporate world was too vulnerable for me in terms of job security. I always knew I wanted to make a lot of money, and I figured no one else was just going to pay me what I knew I deserved. I knew I would have to earn it for them first so why not just earn it for myself, which encouraged me to go in business for myself.

What was your vision for Got Virgin when you first created it?
I wanted to provide women with the best quality hair you could find on the market. I also wanted to have the most competitive prices. It’s really important to me that I make Got Virgin a household name, when you think of hair you should think Got Virgin, that’s the ultimate goal.

What has been the most useful tool or outlet that you’ve used to keep your business flourishing?
Our most successful tool has honestly been the quality of our product and our price point. There’s no better hair on the market for the prices that Got Virgin offers. We’ve grown through word of mouth; one client falls in love with the hair she tells a few friends then they fall in love and the word keeps spreading.

What are some challenges that you faced during your journey creating this brand?
At first I was naive to virgin hair. I started off selling what was falsely titled Virgin Brazilian hair before I learned that was actually all processed fake hair from China and Korea. Once I learned that I had to reevaluate my business and start over with true virgin human hair, which I learned was actually from the temples of India. I then began to travel back & forth to India constantly to maintain quality control because there are many imposters in India that sell fake hair as well. The biggest challenge was securing and protecting the manufacturing of our hair to keep it pure from ever being blended with synthetic hair. Our latest challenge is keeping keep up with the high demand of orders sometimes [laughs], but that’s a good problem to have.

Being a man in a woman-centric-and-dominated industry, what do you think has helped you be successful?
It’s quite simple: I’m a male that knows how to deal with and talk to women. My clients trust my judgement because they know I’m not just selling them a brand, I’m selling them a product that I worked really hard to perfect. I even notice that when I have women working for my company, my clients would still rather deal with me. Honestly, being a male in a female-driven field, I just naturally stand out, so it just works for me.

What are three tips you would offer to aspiring entrepreneurs?
One: Never give up, perseverance is key. With that being said, never waste time on a project or venture that isn’t working out for you. When you’ve realized that you’ve executed the wrong strategy, stop and reevaluate. Secondly, take it one step a time. Entrepreneurs are often overwhelmed with their ideas and usually don’t know how to achieve them. Most businesses I started I never knew anything about, I had to learn how find my way without getting discouraged from the great amount of work it would take. You really have to take it one step at a time. Lastly, the best investment in any venture is thought.

 Ladies, visit Got Virgin’s website here to find out more about their premium quality hair extensions.

The post How A Morehouse Graduate Found His Niche Selling Hair Extensions appeared first on MadameNoire.

Zoë Saldana Welcomes Her Third Child

$
0
0

Well, if you haven’t already heard the news: Zoë Saldana is a new mom!

Saldana and her husband,Marco Perego, 37, shared the exciting news that they had welcomed a third child to their family — a boy named Zen — with an Instagram post.

“Marco and I are elated to share the news of the the birth of our son Zen,” Saldana captioned the photo that shows the new born with his older twin brothers Cy Aridio and Bowie Ezio. “We couldn’t feel more blessed with the new addition to our family. #threeboys… oh boy!”

Recently, the mother of two shared with Extra’s Mario Lopez just how busy her boys keep her these days. “There is a lot of patience we have to have and patience only comes with rest, and that’s something we don’t have a lot of,” she said of her and Perego.

 

The post Zoë Saldana Welcomes Her Third Child appeared first on MadameNoire.

Signs You’re Too Nice And It’s Ruining Your Life

$
0
0

Some people believe there is no such thing as being too nice. Those people are too nice. If being nice to somebody else requires you to be mean and disrespectful to yourself, then if you think about it, you’re not being nice—you’re just the one getting the bad end of the deal. And, unfortunately, when you’re too nice, you attract people who are looking for people they can step all over. This ranges the entire spectrum of relationships from boyfriends to friends to colleagues. If you’re too nice, you may even become a punching bag for some of your friends or partners when they’re under stress because they know you won’t put them in their place. Have a little faith in yourself; if you feel the urge to be a little nasty to somebody, they probably deserve it. After all, you’re usually so nice. Here are signs you’re too nice and it’s ruining your life.

The post Signs You’re Too Nice And It’s Ruining Your Life appeared first on MadameNoire.

#BarackIsBae: 10 Photos Of Barack Obama, The Only President We Recognize Today

$
0
0

Aside from giving millions of Americans a long weekend, usually we don’t make much of a fuss when it comes to President’s Day. But, given the craziness of the current administration, President’s Day 2017 is sort of bumming us out. We long for the days when a charismatic senator charmed the pants off of us and made our world a better place. Though Barack and Michelle Obama are firmly planted in civilian life, that doesn’t mean that we can’t take a stroll down memory lane to relive some of our favorite Barack moments.

Barack Rides Those Waves

We couldn’t have asked for a better first photo of former President Barack Obama enjoying his life outside the Oval Office than the above image of him kitesurfing. According to a blog post from Sir Richard Branson, Barack told him that during his eight years in office he wasn’t allowed to surf since it was considered too dangerous. Branson then promised Barack that if he learned to kitesurf, Branson would learn to foilboard and the two would have a contest to see who could stay up the longest. I think you can guess who won.

The post #BarackIsBae: 10 Photos Of Barack Obama, The Only President We Recognize Today appeared first on MadameNoire.

Do It For The Culture: Ashley Breaux Celebrates African Diaspora With Creole Cosmetics Collection

$
0
0
Vérité Beauty Creole Cosmetics

When people hear the word Creole, certain things come to mind such as Mardi Gras, delicious food, and even some stereotypes about physical features. Makeup artist Ashley Breaux uses her platform to celebrate the fullness of what it means to be Creole. In 2016, she launched her brand Vérité Beauty. Vérité is French for “truth.” A native of Lafayette, LA, her goal is to make all women of color feel beautiful and comfortable enhancing their beauty with makeup. In the beginning of her career, she noticed that most women shy away from makeup because it is hard for them to find foundations that match the pigment in their skin. Ashley also noticed that big brand cosmetics lines did not include many women of color in their advertising campaigns. Not happy with such poor representation, she used her platform to educate people more about her culture and introduced The Creole Collection — foundations, powders, and concealers to accommodate every shade of Black.

Madame Noire (MN): What inspired you to become a makeup artist ?
Ashley Breaux (AB): I would watch my mom, aunts, and family members get glam for balls around Mardi Gras season. In our culture, this is like a tradition. I was so fascinated by their “get ready” process with makeup and nails. Black women take pride in presenting themselves and I admired that.

MN: How did you come up with the concept of truth for your brand?
AB: I came up with the name because I wanted to live in my truth–being a Black woman, a Creole woman.

MN: What are some myths about the Creole culture or what it means to be Creole in general?
AB: It encompasses many different things like African to  Caribbean and even Spanish and Native American. The biggest myth about Creole culture that I have encountered is that it is dependent on outward appearances. Most people define Creole by  a light skin tone and what appears to be “good hair” textures. I purposefully chose a model with lots of melanin to represent the line because her complexion is included in what can be Creole, no matter what part of the world you come from. There are also subsets of Creole here in Louisiana. Lafayette is very different from New Orleans because it has a Canadian French influence mixed with all the other cultures I mentioned. For me, however, “Creole” encompasses so many different facets of culture, from the music and food to the people. The most important thing about Southern Louisiana Creole culture is the spirit of the people. Creole culture has been misunderstood throughout history because it is, by definition, a mixture of different cultures and ethnicity. So, again, New Orleans Creoles have a different history and tradition than those of Lafayette, less than 200 miles away.

MN: How were you able to match the makeup to Black skin tones so perfectly?
AB: Well, I had been working on the cosmetics line a year before it launched. I would test out foundations on my clients to see how it looked on them and I discovered that we literally had a match! So much effort went into curating the colors and matching them with the natural undertones found in our range of skin tones. We have 11 shades that range from very pale to the deepest mahogany.MN: What has been the response since Vérité Beauty launched The Creole Collection?
AB: The response is super positive! People in Lafayette love to celebrate our culture. I even have people in the Bahamas who have reached out and left encouraging messages. I think people are excited to have something made for us in mind. It’s inclusive, not exclusive. Caucasian women are even purchasing products.

MN: How do you plan to teach your future children about the culture?
AB: I would definitely involve them in some of the traditions that I grew up with that celebrate the culture. Debutante Cotillions are a tradition that the women of my family have participated in that cultivates confidence as young ladies begin to transition into adulthood. I would also want them to attend trail rides and Mardi Gras, of course.

MN: What’s next for your brand?
AB: Vérité Beauty has some exciting things in the works for Spring 2017. We will be relaunching The Creole Collection and include a luxury and corrective skin care line catering to ethnic skin types, because we suffer from hyper pigmentation. Vérité Beauty will also be expanding to include spa services at the Lafayette location. And, of course, doing lots of community activism to keep the culture alive.

The post Do It For The Culture: Ashley Breaux Celebrates African Diaspora With Creole Cosmetics Collection appeared first on MadameNoire.

How To Eat Healthy On A Canned Food Diet

$
0
0

Your friends may be on your case about the fact that you need to eat more fresh food. And you’re like, “Hey, I already made the transition to eating at home more than eating at restaurants! Give me a break!” But they say your frozen, packaged and canned foods don’t count. So since you’re already getting enough of that grief from everybody else in your life, we are going to indulge your lazy kitchen habits and at least help you find healthy ways to tweak them. It’s okay if a can opener is the only tool you know how to use in your kitchen because you can still eat nutritious, diet-friendly foods with it. Here is how to eat healthy entirely on a canned food diet.

The post How To Eat Healthy On A Canned Food Diet appeared first on MadameNoire.


Sally Hemings’ Room To Be Added To Monticello Plantation Tour

$
0
0

The news of slave owners raping or carrying on full—not entirely consensual relationships with their slaves is not exactly a surprise to Black folk. But it’s a history many Americans conveniently choose to ignore. Historians have made it easier by simply ignoring the more “unpleasant” realities of the institution of slavery.

But things are changing. And the evidence of these changes can be seen in the renovations being made to Thomas Jefferson’s famous mansion-now tourist attraction, Monticello.

According to The Washington Post, the room historians believe belonged to Sally Hemmings, the mother of Thomas Jefferson’s six children, will be added to the Monticello mansion and included in the tour. The room, just steps away from Jefferson’s bedroom was turned into a restroom in 1941 by caretakers.

The relationship between Hemings and Jefferson was denied for decades by his White descendants. Today, many historians believe Jefferson was the father to Hemings’ children. The renovations, including removing the floor tiles and the room is in the process of being restored. Hemings’ room will be open for public viewing next year. But the room won’t be the only change made on the property or the way Jefferson’s contradictory story is told.

The renovation also includes a $35 million project that will reconstruct and showcase buildings where enslaved people worked.

Throughout the course of his life, though he wrote the words “all men are created equal,” Jefferson owned a 5,000-acre plantation that was the home to 607 slaves throughout his life.

Monticello historian, Christa Dierksheide, said, “Visitors will come here and understand that there was no place on this mountaintop that slavery wasn’t. Thomas Jefferson was surrounded by people, and the vast majority of those people were enslaved.”

In order to pinpoint the room historians believe belonged to Hemings, they relied on descriptions from Jefferson’s grandson who placed it in the home’s south wing. Archaeologists are now peeling back layers in the room to reveal the original brick floor and plaster walls.

Despite the detailed notes Jefferson took, recording every dollar he spent and the activities of the people he enslaved, he rarely mentioned Hemings. There are no photographs of her. Historians know that she was a seamstress who worked as Jefferson’s chambermaid. When Jefferson inherited her from his father-in-law, she was a baby.

In 1787, when she was 14, Jefferson had Hemings travel with his young daughter Maria to Paris where he was negotiating trade agreements. According to Hemings’ son, the romantic relationship began during that trip. Four of Hemings’ six children lived to adulthood and DNA tests of Hemings and Jefferson’s descendants lead most historians to believe that Jefferson was their father.

Jefferson allowed their children together to live free and his family granted Hemings unofficial freedom after his death.

Historians hope that the reconstruction of Hemings’ room will help to paint a more complete picture of her life.

Hemings’ space will feature period furniture and artifacts like bone toothbrushes and other ceramics found on the property.

Gary Sandling, vice president of the Thomas Jefferson Foundation said, “Sally Hemings was better traveled than most Americans, so we want to tell a story about her that doesn’t limit her to Jefferson’s property.”

The push to bring Hemings’ story to Monticello is the result of a decades-long effort from a now-retired historian Lucia “Cinder” Stanton. Stanton began working at Monticello in 1968 and remembered that very little was said about Hemings. A tour guide might have mentioned Hemings’ brother but “Sally” was never uttered.

In 1993, when Monticello celebrated its 250th anniversary, guides began giving the “Plantation Community” tour which incorporated stories of the enslaved people who lived there.

Stanton and her colleagues interviewed more than 100 descendants of the people enslaved at Monticello.

Stanton said, “Once you start to look at the details of the whole scene at Monticello—work, family, life, punishment— it is richer. It is so much better to try and see something whole.”

Niya Bates, the foundation’s public historian of slavery and African American life said, “It will portray her outside of the mystery. She was a mother, a sister, an ancestor for her descendants, and [the room’s presentation] will really just shape her as a person and give her a presence outside of the wonder of their relationship.”

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post Sally Hemings’ Room To Be Added To Monticello Plantation Tour appeared first on MadameNoire.

#TheyHiredMeAnyway: The Flaws That Should Have Disqualified Trump & His Cabinet

$
0
0

The people really aren’t here for celebrating Donald J. Trump on this year’s President’s Day. Throughout the day, there have been several trending topics expressing the lack of support for 45. Even ones that seemed to be in support of the day to honor our presidents were used as a means to express a collective disapproval. Then there was #NotMyPresidentDay and then I stumbled upon #TheyHiredMeAnyway. While the hashtag is full of outlandish stories and jokes, and I’m sure a real anecdote or two, there are more than a few who speak directly to Donald Trump’s lack of experience and general inability to lead the nation. Check them out in the tweets below.

The post #TheyHiredMeAnyway: The Flaws That Should Have Disqualified Trump & His Cabinet appeared first on MadameNoire.

Women Of Black History: 5 Things To Know About Sister Rosetta Tharpe, Godmother Of Rock And Roll

$
0
0

When people think about rock and roll, they barely think about the men of color who helped to create the genre of popular music. With that being said, you can imagine the struggle it was and continues to be for women of color to get their just dues in terms of their contributions to the genre. Still, it needs to be stated that without the talents of women like Sister Rosetta Tharpe, rock and roll would likely be very different. With her talent on the guitar, her powerful voice and her songwriting abilities (most often used to praise the Lord), Rosetta helped to change the sound of mid-20th century music and would come to be known as the first true gospel recording artist. Check out five things you should know about Sister Rosetta Tharpe, the “Godmother of rock and roll.”

Instagram Photo

She Could Take You to Church — and Then to the Club

Sister Rosetta Tharpe was one of the few gospel artists who took their talents and music outside of the church and into nightclubs of all places. And while she may have initially received criticism for her performance venues, she was able to push gospel music, and in turn, the name of the Lord, into the mainstream. She helped pop-gospel come to be, and she went from small clubs to booking huge performance venues once she moved to New York City. Her biggest opportunities included gigs at Carnegie Hall and at the Cotton Club, playing alongside Cab Calloway.

She Defied Critics Who Felt Guitar Was Not Meant for Women

A master of the electric guitar, windmilling it on stage and dominating her performances while singing gospel, there were quite a few people who frowned upon Rosetta’s affinity for the instrument. To be able to play the guitar was connected to the idea of being masculine, and Tharpe was at times told that she could “play like a man.” But the truth is, she could play better than many men. It wasn’t expected that a woman, a Black woman at that, could play with such skill and have success. Rosetta defied the odds.

Instagram Photo

She Was One of the First Commercially Successful Gospel Artists

After signing with Decca Records at the age of 23 in 1938, Rosetta recorded four songs that were all hits: “Rock Me,” “The Lonesome Road,” That’s All,” and “The Man and I.” Those songs established her as one of the first gospel singers truly capable of selling records.

She Influenced Chuck Berry, Little Richard and More

The first songs that she recorded for Decca, which were popular and of the pop-gospel sound, ended up inspiring a lot of groundbreaking rock stars, including Chuck Berry, Elvis Presley, Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis. Her licks on the electric guitar were something else, and managed to garner the attention of many.

Instagram Photo

She Recorded a Blues Album and Received a Great Deal of Criticism

After years of touring in front of both churchgoing folks as well as the clubgoers, in 1953, Rosetta tried to record a secular blues album with constant collaborator Marie Knight. According to Biography, her choice to do so caused her to lose a lot of her most important support — that of the religious community. Her popularity took a dip, but nevertheless, Rosetta continued touring all around the United States (including doing critically lauded performances at the Apollo Theater and at the Newport Jazz Festival) and Europe, putting her focus back on gospel. She even tried to continue touring and recording after losing her leg due to diabetes complications. Right before she was scheduled to hit the studio on October 9, 1973, she had a stroke and passed. Rosetta was only 58 years old.

Check her out doing what she did best:

Instagram Photo

The post Women Of Black History: 5 Things To Know About Sister Rosetta Tharpe, Godmother Of Rock And Roll appeared first on MadameNoire.

Fried, Dyed And Laid To The Side: Photos Of Vintage Black Hair

$
0
0

Don’t you just love vintage photos of Black people?

I sure do, especially during Black History Month. And after flipping through some of my favorite Tumblr pages and social media sites (shout out to Vintage Black Glamour and Hollywood Ric!), I ran across a bevvy of images of Black people from the late 1800s up to the ’90s showing Black women displaying their crowning glory — their hair. I’m talking styles that were fried, dyed and laid to the side, huge curls, waves, braids with beads, locs and more. Black women, for as far back as folks have been snapping our pictures, have done some pretty amazing things with our hair. We’ve been making miracles atop our heads even before Madam C.J. Walker hooked us up and before there were today’s expensive products to buy that help us tame and style it. If you need some proof of that, check out a few lovely images of vintage Black hair.

http://criticalmera.tumblr.com/post/155481491962/mother-and-daughter-taking-a-walk-in-new-york

The post Fried, Dyed And Laid To The Side: Photos Of Vintage Black Hair appeared first on MadameNoire.

GMA Honors “Hidden Figure” Raye Montague, A Naval Engineer

$
0
0

 

Hidden Figures has inspired a renewed interest in the unnamed Black women who’ve made enormous contributions to our country. The three women and even the department of women shown in the movie don’t even touch the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the Black women who have served, in various fields, with little reward or recognition for their work.

Yesterday, Raye Montague appeared on “Good Morning America” to share her own life story and chat about the similarities between her journey and the one that was shown on the screen.

Montague is known as the first person (man or woman, Black or White) to design a ship using a computer. She is credited with improving the design process on every single naval ship and submarine. She served as the first woman to become program manager of ships, which she said is the equivalent of being a CEO of a company. And is famously known for being tasked with designing a ship, using a program she developed, in a month’s time. Montague came back with the design in just under 19 hours.

“My mother told me when I was a very, little girl. ‘Raye you’ll have three strikes against you. You’re female and you’re Black and you’ll have a Southern, segregated school education. But you can do anything you want provided you’re educated.’”

During her sit down with Robin Roberts, Montague said that the opposition started early.

“Growing up in a segregated South, you never dream that these options are available to you. And I can remember wondering where am I going? What am I going to be? And when I was seven years old, my grandfather took me–this is during World War II–to see a German mini submarine that had been captured off of the coast of the Carolinas. And they let me go inside. And of course I saw the dials and mechanisms. And I said to the guy, ‘What do you have to know to do this?’ And he said, ‘Oh you have to be an engineer but you don’t ever have to worry about that.’ And I didn’t know I’d been insulted. So, I asked my mother to take me to find out what was required to become an engineer. And it was all the math and science. And, of course, I pursued that. But in the long run, I just never dreamed that I would be credited with achieving as much as I did.”

Raye mentioned that the Hidden Figures story is her own, but that the only difference was she didn’t have to walk a mile and a half to use the restroom.

She recalls her coworkers assuming that she was the help when she’d walk into a room.

“When I’d walk in the room, the guys always felt like ‘What’s she doing here?’ They always thought I was a part of the help. So as I walked into one room, the fellas looked at me and one of them said, ‘I’d like a cup of coffee.’ And I said, ‘So would I. Be sure mine has cream and sugar.”

Later during the segment, Janelle Monae showed up to present Mrs. Montague with flowers and thank her for her service to the country.

You can watch the interview in the video below.

Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days.” You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @VDubShrug.

The post GMA Honors “Hidden Figure” Raye Montague, A Naval Engineer appeared first on MadameNoire.

What I Discovered When I Asked ‘Would I Date Myself?’

$
0
0

My dating debacles have caused me to do some serious self-reflection. After countless heartbreaks and disappointments, I stepped back and asked, “Would I date myself?” The question allowed me to not only note my strengths but also any flaws that can be changed and those that can’t. I pointed out what I bring to a relationship and what men may silently notice in me that makes them back off. I’m not saying that I’m always the cause of things not working out, but I’m fully aware that I play a role in my relationship woes. This exercise showed me that I have to work on deep-rooted issues from childhood and past dating experiences that aren’t easy to shake.

A lot of men I’ve dated have pointed out my shyness. They would say it to me as if it was going to hinder our budding relationship in some way. When I thought about it, I saw their point. My shyness keeps me from being bold or fearless when I should be. There’s nothing wrong with being reserved, but at certain times a man likes when a woman is unabashed. I’m working on it.  

Something I had to admit to myself was I’m insecure. No matter who I’m dealing with, I have this notion that there is someone out there who will snatch their attention. I unconsciously believe I’m not good enough to keep them and fear losing them one day. Not getting a call or text makes my insecure mind wander off into a place of despair. Growing up, all I was told was that I was undesirable. As an adult, I’m still trying to destroy that destructive belief.

Those damaging thoughts have followed me from childhood. I was bullied until high school and the teasing and verbal assaults have left me scarred. A million men can tell me that I’m beautiful, but it’s still hard to believe. Probably because I’m still learning to love the skin I’m in. I may not look like the typical Instagram baddie, but there is still much to be loved and admired. As an adult, I can still hear the insults from my peers and remember how embarrassed I used to feel as the butt of so many jokes. The ugly things that were said to me weren’t and aren’t true, but it’s still hard to convince myself of that.

I also have to work on getting rid of a bad habit I never saw as a problem: the inability to forgive. Once someone does something I see as unacceptable, I cut them off. My reasoning: “why allow someone to stay in my life after they’ve shown me they’re inconsiderate?” While I still have deal breakers, I’m slowly learning that people deserve second chances. I even deserve them sometimes. Letting someone know how their words or actions make you feel gives them a chance to address the situation and you a chance to let your anger go. I’m understanding now that forgiveness helps me more than the other person. Plus, learning to forgive will keep me from pushing someone away that could be an asset to my life.  

I’m not too sure of how to address all of my struggles but I’m ready to do the work. Not just because I want to have a successful relationship, but so I can also be more comfortable with myself and more self-assured.

The post What I Discovered When I Asked ‘Would I Date Myself?’ appeared first on MadameNoire.

Do You Always Expect The Worst?

$
0
0

If you always expect the worst from people, your argument may be that that protects you—that if you don’t expect good things to happen then you can never be disappointed. You’re not wrong, but you’re also probably not happy. The trick in life isn’t to expect the worst, but rather to expect the best and know how to handle the worst if it happens. You don’t need to constantly be on the lookout for disaster in order to be prepared for it, but it’s a mentality many people who expect the worst have. And if your excuse for expecting the worst is that terrible things have happened to you, then what do you have to say for the people out there who have had truly terrible things happen to them (worse than your being cheated on or losing your job) and manage still to expect good things? Stumped you, huh? Here are signs you always expect the worst.

The post Do You Always Expect The Worst? appeared first on MadameNoire.


Little Kids Meals That Are Good For Grownups Too

$
0
0

Do you remember how uncomplicated food was as a child? The grownup’s menu has panels for goodness sake and a specials list, meanwhile, the children’s menu fit on the back of a coloring book. You’re proud that your taste has evolved and that you now enjoy things like chicken pate and sautéed bok choy, but sometimes you wish the pressure to make things that were complicated was gone. Most of that pressure, of course, comes from the notion that only 14-ingredient dishes are nutritious and delicious, but that’s simply not true. You can return to the simple, minimalist-style dishes of childhood without sacrificing nutrition, and without dumping ketchup over everything. Here are “little kids” meals that are easy to make and good for adults.

The post Little Kids Meals That Are Good For Grownups Too appeared first on MadameNoire.

I’m Friends With My Husband’s Ex-Girlfriend. No, It’s Not Weird

$
0
0

My husband and I were dating for over a year when I first met his ex-girlfriend. We attended rival colleges so when our schools played their annual football game, our respective black alumni associations hosted a watch party. Because my husband’s old flame attended the same college as he did, she was there as well.

husband's ex-girlfriend

This was our second time attending the watch party together, but his ex didn’t make an appearance at the event a year prior. While I hadn’t met her before the watch party, I knew her name and how she looked (thanks to my investigative journalism skills and mutual Facebook friends), so I knew exactly who she was as soon as I saw her from across the room.

For about 30 minutes, we both exchanged a few glances (she would stare, then I would look up and she would quickly look away and vice versa). Despite the fact that my husband and I weren’t standing next to each other the entire evening, I assumed she knew who I was based on our swift and subtle body language (or she came to such a conclusion by using my stare and run methods mentioned above).

Eventually, my then-boyfriend and future husband walked over to me and said, “When we’re in the same vicinity, I’ll introduce you two.” I responded with, “Good because this is really awkward.”

About 10 minutes later, we were in the same area in the large room and were formally introduced. The 20-minute conversation was organic and, to my surprise, not awkward. However, we did have about seven of my husband’s friends congregating around us, watching our entire exchange intently. It was like vultures waiting on an animal to die. The only missing items, during this seemingly major occurrence, were microphones and two spotlights.

I walked back to my friends right after our dialogue ended and was hit with a barrage of questions and comments, including “You’re friends with his ex?!? and “You’re better than me!” Of course, I wasn’t instantly interested in being friends with her. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder why I shouldn’t have been open to meeting her and why my friends would have an issue with having a conversation with their significant other’s ex? Is it really that deep?

Days after the party, she added me as a friend on Facebook. I accepted and sent her a message saying how great it was to meet her.

It’s been four years and we still keep in touch, mainly through our social media accounts since we don’t have each other’s phone numbers (that might be too close for comfort). We update each other on kids and career moves as well as share family photos. We have no bad blood and after all of this time, it’s clear that there are no ulterior motives.

The way I see it, with every former boyfriend, I’ve always known that he had a past before me, and in a few cases aside from the aforementioned one, I met their exes. In fact, my husband knows my college boyfriend and sees him regularly due to their mutual friends. He’s never been weird about it, although their relationship is more casual.

Nevertheless, the shocked and somewhat confused reaction never fails to arise when I tell my girls that I’m friends with my husband’s ex-girlfriend. To that I ask, is it taboo to become acquainted with the women of your spouse’s past? Should we instantly hate our significant other’s exes as if they are a threat to the present?

Maybe jealousy or the fear of the unknown prevents many people from forming even a cordial relationship with their lover’s former partners. All I know is that I was able to form a pretty cool friendship with a woman who just so happened to have dated my husband many moons ago. She may be a part of his past, but she’s now a part of my present.

The post I’m Friends With My Husband’s Ex-Girlfriend. No, It’s Not Weird appeared first on MadameNoire.

Dwyane Wade’s Cousin Launches World’s First Refillable Unisex Deodorant Switch Fresh

$
0
0

Unisex Deodorant Switch Fresh

Refillable deodorant? Why didn’t someone think of this eco-friendly product sooner? Well, Antoine Wade, cousin of NBA star Dwyane Wade, finally has, launching Switch Fresh, a brand of unisex deodorants that allows you to refill the deodorant container when you’re finished with the stick. And Wade has launched an IndieGoGo campaign to raise funds for the new venture.

“When I hit on this project and started looking at the deodorant category and saw there wasn’t a lot of innovation, I felt, why couldn’t I do it? What’s stopping me from creating the next big deodorant brand?” he told the Chicago Tribune. On his IndieGoGo page, Wade, 35, claims that his new product is the “world’s first sustainable, personalized, unisex deodorant that reduces waste by 96 percent.”

Here’s how it works: Switch Fresh includes a stylish plastic tube that uses replaceable glide cartridges with various scents of solid deodorant and antiperspirants. The bottle is offered in different colors and moving forward the container will be customizable with designs uploaded by users.

“Its gender-neutral scents are named after locations: a vanilla-based antiperspirant named after Chicago’s South Loop, an apple-based antiperspirant named after New York’s TriBeCa neighborhood, and a natural unscented deodorant named after Aspen, Colo,” reports the Trib.

When it hits the market, Switch Fresh bottles will run about $10 each, while the deodorant cartridges will cost $2.50 to $3.99 each. For the IndieGoGo launch, the company is offering both the bottle and a cartridge for $10 total. Sounds like a great way to buy Black and help out the environment.

The post Dwyane Wade’s Cousin Launches World’s First Refillable Unisex Deodorant Switch Fresh appeared first on MadameNoire.

A Custom Lip Whip Line Is On The Way From Gabby Douglas

$
0
0

Instagram Photo

Gabby Douglas is quickly building her empire after winning over America’s hearts in the 2012 and 2016 Summer Olympics, and the bubbly beauty knows exactly which industry to take a bite out of.  The Olympic gold medalist has partnered with the Beauty Bakerie to launch her very own custom lip whip line.

“When we found out Gabby was looking to create a beautiful line of lipsticks with a brand that carried the best liquid lipsticks (Ahem… did someone say Lip Whips?), we knew we’d struck gold!,” the Beauty Bakerie website states. “Gabby is a strong woman whose values, dedication, and poise has inspired so many of us to be and give the best version of ourselves in every situation. Her story epitomizes our better, not bitter, motto as difficulty and hardship has only made Gabby stronger while staying true to her sweet and lovable personality. Her gorgeous Lip Whip set was inspired with all these traits in mind along with Gabby’s knack for all things creative of course!”

The cosmetics brand also did a fun Q&A with Gabby to talk about some of her Beauty Bakerie faves and why their motto resonates with her. She shared:

“Being Better not Bitter is very similar to my personal motto. Hard days are the best because that’s when champions are made. It’s easy to allow negativity or hard circumstances keep you from chasing your dreams. However, it is very important that you maintain a positive outlook and surround yourself with others who share the same mindset. I have definitely had to endure situations that could have made me bitter. But, I decided to focus on being better instead!”

Gabby’s lip whip line won’t be available until March 14, but you can get a sneak peek of what’s to come in the promo video below. What do you think?

Instagram Photo

The post A Custom Lip Whip Line Is On The Way From Gabby Douglas appeared first on MadameNoire.

A Few Reflections From The First Love & Hip Hop New York Reunion

$
0
0

Last night’s reunion of “Love & Hip Hop New York” was kind of hard to watch.

I never claim to be too educated or mature to indulge in ratchet reality TV — the foolery actually keeps my life sane by reminding me what not to do in certain situations — but last night pettiness was at an all-time high along with too many knuck if you buck attitudes. Although Remy Ma and Papoose’s recap about the tragic loss of their child was inspirational and hopefully restored faith in women who are facing similar circumstances, everyone else reminded me these people are not just entertainers who flash across our screens for a paycheck. These are people with deep-seated issues that need to be addressed and resolved within themselves. Kudos to Remy and Pap, but the rest of last night’s cast has got to do better!  Here are all the moments that were interesting, but painfully difficult to watch.

1. Are you trying to convince us, or you?

Normally, we like Cardi B and all the flavor she brings to the show. However, last night was not a proud moment in melanin magic for the Dominican sweetheart. Her issue with Asia, ex-girlfriend of her music producer, was solely based on Cardi’s perception of why she believed Asia had a problem with her. Cardi equated Asia’s disdain with the fact that she used to be a stripper. We doubt it. Cardi B is the poster child for every urban girl with aspirations to beat the odds. Since her first appearance on Love & Hip Hop her brand has grown tremendously and created a platform that is recognized on many different levels. She’s touring regularly and making prime-time appearances on bigger shows such as “Being Mary Jane” and “The Doctors.” Clearly, the stripper days are over, Cardi. You have done well for yourself and that’s what we want to celebrate. But when you divert from the facts of being flirtatious with someone else’s boyfriend and insist on sitting in this man’s lap at the reunion… The question is do you see yourself as more than just a stripper? If you were a lawyer in your past life, Asia would still feel the same way about you for flirting with her man at the time. Stop projecting your past insecurities on other women. If you’ve left the strip club, lose the mentality that’s attached to it. We still love you tho.

2. The Creep Squad. Men who appear to be over 35 and still acting 21 are not the move in 2017.  Running around town making babies, getting into fist fights about money, and selling dreams of fame and fortune to female artists that they really just want to sleep with…  We’ll pass.

3. Arguing over a man who doesn’t belong to anyone. Correct us if we’re wrong, but hasn’t the whole Yandy, Samantha, and Erika story line supposedly been about getting their children to interact while Mendeecees is in jail? None of that was a part of last night’s reunion. Unless next week will reveal more about resolving issues with the kids, these women basically made a fool of themselves by revisiting the timeline of who he cheated with and when. Truth be told, if Yandy and Mendeecees didn’t go into a marriage agreement with the government, he can have a commitment ceremony with everybody and call it a day. This man legally belongs to the state of New Jersey, not any one of them.

4. Comments from the Peanut Gallery. The entire show Kimbella was in heaven watching all the drama play out yet again, as if it was stuff she just found out about it. She kept making mention of “eating popcorn” as she cackled about even her bestie’s drama. As the saying goes, empty wagons make the most noise!  Never trust someone who is entertained by others’ pain. Kimbella needs to find something of substance in her own life to focus on. Only miserable people delight in other’s drama.

What did you think of last night’s reunion?

The post A Few Reflections From The First Love & Hip Hop New York Reunion appeared first on MadameNoire.

Viewing all 1752 articles
Browse latest View live


Latest Images